[Having A Bad Day? Wanna Rant? Right This Way!]

But the moment was totally nothing like I imagined. My project manager caught up with me during coffee to ask what happened. Why the sudden resignation? Was there anything I was unhappy about? When I had played this scene in my mind....  I was going to let everyone know how a certain someone had made my life at work hell.  I wouldn't do anything crazy but I would let them know how unhappy I had been and how mentally tormented I felt...  But then that time when my manager asked me what's wrong... Even though my heart was shaking..  I involuntarily gave him the brightest smile and said ' no,  it's not like that. There's nothing. I just want to return to my hometown and do something else. ' there I was with the chance to finally tell someone my feelings but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Instead I pretended everything was OK and I just wanted out. Even I don't understand myself sometimes. But I am glad. It's done. 

[Having A Bad Day? Wanna Rant? Right This Way!]

@CamelKnight thank you. Yes. Indeed I don't need this kind of poison in my life.  That's why I have put my papers today. I am stupid most would say and some would say I am hasty and some might even say I am weak minded. Yes to all the three. I don't disagree. But this morning when I woke up and read the news of Shinee's Jong Hyun's demise,  and later after I read his suicide note.. I felt shock and a deep sadness. Why?  Because even though I am nowhere near as upset as he was to have taken such a drastic step..  Even though I know my life is not that hard or my troubles that painful..  I felt empathy. Not sympathy but empathy. I felt that yes...  Yes..  I am trying my best too. Why is no one seeing that.  I  am working hard to live too. Why then is it so hard. At that moment..  I knew that I have to do something stupid or this slow painful buildup of hurt will one day grow into one huge ugly monster that I won't be able to face. Before I am sucked in by my own weaknesses..  Let me admit now itself that I cannot handle this anymore and move on.  I admit I have some hope in the future ... Maybe even that's why without a backup plan I have decided to do this.  Maybe I can do great somewhere else.  Maybe I can do something better. Or at the least maybe I can breathe. May his soul rest in peace.  I didn't really listen to their music but somehow even then I feel very sad by this. I can't imagine how someone who can sing to the world..  Who has so much love and fame..  How could someone like that be so unhappy as to do that. How sad he must have been. How long he must have been enduring it all. Alone.  Strong people may call giving up as weakness but that is because they don't know or understand the cause of it in the first place. 

[Having A Bad Day? Wanna Rant? Right This Way!]

I am being bullied at work . I feel horrible. I wish I could punch them in the face and tell them exactly what an INSUFFERABLE person they are and how badly they need counseling on their anti-social behavior

[Having A Bad Day? Wanna Rant? Right This Way!]

Why is it so difficult to survive at work? No matter how many lessons I learn , no matter how much I see,  no matter how many times I tell myself that I need to change...  Nothing changes. Lately,  I just feel I AM THE PROBLEM. Everyone else seems to be doing just fine. So it must be just me. Here I go again on my self-pity train.