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Slowdancing with the opposite gender

NichookapoNichookapo SydneyPosts: 151Member

ROOKIE

edited February 2013 in love & relationships
Hey guys, first thread in this section of soompi so bear with me. Did a rough search to see if this topic was ever discussed before but nothing came up.

Basically as the title says this thread is about slowdancing with the opposite gender. This topic arose when, about 3 years ago, my current girlfriend told me that she slowdanced with another guy at a highschool dance. Now at the time, the topic was only touched on briefly because I had my final year of highschool to worry about so we didn't touch on it much. But recently, it seems like that scenario has been constantly replaying in my head and I feel that I can't bring myself to trust her completely. I KNOW it was nothing but it seems somewhere deep inside I feel that it was more than nothing. I told her about this, and we can't seem to sort it out. I really do love her, but this tiny thing has really brought our relationship to a bit of a standstill.

So 2* questions, 1. Do you guys feel I'm just overthinking this whole situation and just being, well, bitchy ?
                        2. How would you guys/girls out there feel if your bf/gf slowdanced with the opposite gender ?

Replies

  • inxomniainxomnia FunkytownnPosts: 1,101Member

    IDOL

    1. Yes, it was 3 years ago. 
    2. No big deal,it's slow dancing. I mean it can be romantic and all, but if it was that long ago, I'd not fuss about it. 
    3. Where's 3? 

  • WhitegataWhitegata Posts: 132Member

    ROOKIE

    1. Show her that you trust her by not thinking about it anymore 
    2. If you weren't together when she did it then there is really not a big deal. Not that it would be a big deal if you were, I mean, it's just dancing. If she was grinding up and down then we have another thing to talk about but you always slow dance at formal parties, even though you might dislike you dancing partner. 
    I just bought Ferrero Rocher! <33 Long live Devil Beside you!
  • MusoMuso The Master Of All Pokemon! USAPosts: 2,762Member

    SUPERSTAR

    1. Yes, you are over thinking it. It happened 3 years ago. Why bring something so long ago back up? You're only causing tension in your relationship that should have been talked about when it first came up.

    2. And I wouldn't care if he slow danced with anyone. It's a slow dance. Sure, it can be romantic, but that is only if the person you are holding you have feelings for. Other than that, it's meaningless.
  • Mr-Nice-WatchMr-Nice-Watch Posts: 183Member

    IDOL

    Yea i just punched a girl in her face 3 years ago but thats 3 years ago... right?

    Time shouldnt be a reason that makes it ok to everyone above me. She still did it either way
    and people who say there was no meaning to it are also retarded. I just effed a couple girls but i had no feelings for them...
    I aint cheatin, right?

    Just make it clear next time that if it happens again, you're bouncin out this relationship. And make sure you call her a ho if it does happen again.
  • JaruJaruJaruJaru Posts: 423Member
    Dude, it was a slow dance. THREE years ago. Wtf?
  • NichookapoNichookapo SydneyPosts: 151Member

    ROOKIE

    Thanks for all the replies. Big edit, (Can't edit my post for whatever reason)
    It turns out it wasn't a slow dance. They grinded on each other. So I really don't know what to do guys.
  • NinsharkNinshark I like crabs Posts: 1,530Member

    IDOL

    don't get so clingy man, everyone's gotta have freedom.

    oh, and before you keep dwelling, dwell on this:
    3 years ago...you sir, are just unable to forgive huh..?

    I've seen too many examples of this and it's clear to me now:

    "I really love [ ], but there is just xyz that bothers me, oh did I mention I love [ ]? because I do"

    something like that...you love the fact that you're with her, not necessarily love her. you're protecting your relationship with her more than you protect her. and you also care more about the relationship, than you care about her. Your jealousy is a product of your relationship, not her. see the diff? and where you need to rethink?

    oh and when you fix your insecurities, she will probably like you more too.
  • Mr-Nice-WatchMr-Nice-Watch Posts: 183Member

    IDOL

    Thanks for all the replies. Big edit, (Can't edit my post for whatever reason)
    It turns out it wasn't a slow dance. They grinded on each other. So I really don't know what to do guys.

    Break it off. I know girls like this. Girls that think grinding and dancing and shiz is ok while they're in a relationship.

    Just break it off. Seriously. I know from personal experience. 
  • Mr-Nice-WatchMr-Nice-Watch Posts: 183Member

    IDOL

    Ninshark said:
    don't get so clingy man, everyone's gotta have freedom.

    oh, and before you keep dwelling, dwell on this:
    3 years ago...you sir, are just unable to forgive huh..?

    I've seen too many examples of this and it's clear to me now:

    "I really love [ ], but there is just xyz that bothers me, oh did I mention I love [ ]? because I do"

    something like that...you love the fact that you're with her, not necessarily love her. you're protecting your relationship with her more than you protect her. and you also care more about the relationship, than you care about her. Your jealousy is a product of your relationship, not her. see the diff? and where you need to rethink?

    oh and when you fix your insecurities, she will probably like you more too.

    right because when his girl is grindin on another man's Richard Simmons that makes him insecure. 
  • azuretteazurette Posts: 850Member

    IDOL

    It's inappropriate to grind like that if you're dating someone unless you have their consent (I know a couple who's like this).
    Were you guys dating when she grinded on him?
  • ajlee613ajlee613 Bay Area, CaliforniaPosts: 4,692Member

    SUPERSTAR

    if you were together when it happened, that is touching the line of cheating. many people would say it is flat out cheating.

    if you CAN do it, u should dump her, cuz it'll just eat u up inside. if you CANT leave her, focus on a solution rather than the problem.
    Think about all the things in this life that hurts you... do not do those things.

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