Ask The Fellas

[odaesan]

I've known him for more than 10 years. Yup it's the first time...

The first time in the ten years you've known him... I think it means what you think it means.

[Guest Andreas1]

Can guys compliment on a girl without having any interest whatsoever?

Yea I do it all the time.. just trying to be polite usually or maybe give them a little confidence booster.

[Guest multivites]

What would a guy think of a girl who rejected him when he asked her out? How would he feel?

[Guest HERMIT]

^

Well, in my case I'm usually thinking, "God, that was fast - I barely finished asking the question".

And then it usually devolves down to me wondering what all the punching was all about.

[Guest dmmrshambles]

What would a guy think of a girl who rejected him when he asked her out? How would he feel?

depends on what type of guy ?

if i had motivation / really like the girl i would keep at it. maybe a little less outgoing as last time but mostly think " well maybe she doesn't know how great of a couple we would make "or "how nice of a person i am" if she was kinda mean about it or i was shallow or the pissy type

id hate her kinda and find another quick girl that i knew liked me that was kinda pretty just to try to make her jealous and rub it in her face in my mind it would be like "see ha i dont need u ":/

[Guest Aliyosha]

What would a guy think of a girl who rejected him when he asked her out? How would he feel?

Cool story bro. Moving on...

[Guest c3n8g]

Thanks for both of your input Andreas1 and odaesan.

The guy is a bubble gum. He knows I don't like his cousin as more than a friend, but he still told his cousin to go for it if the guy likes me. I ended being the mean one to tell his cousin off. lol

[Guest minicherries]

so theres this guy, who consistently keeps asking me about my guy interests.

and also one day , so we were talking

and then he randomly says " i like yoou" 

then the next day at school he says his "friends went on his computer"

so later that day i come home and he says " who would you date in the school?"

"whos the guy you like ??" "are you taking anyone to the grad dance yet ??"

he flirts A LOT with other girls , and many people think he likes those other girls

but then he says " don't tell anyone that i like you i don't want them to find out "

so out of the other girls he flirts with (one of them is my BESTEST BESTEST friends) so i'm like

oh i know you like (my best friend) or (another one of my friends he flirts with) and then hes like no i don't i actually think of them as a good friend

so after i'm like how could you NOT like them ? 

their reallly pretty and nice 

and then he says  " you thnk their pretty  ??!!!!?!?!?!?"

and i'm like yeah ! what you don't ??

and then after he says " yeah they r......"

and then i'm like exactly..

and then hes says " you are too.."

and then i'm like wtf... >_> i never said i was and i honestly don't thnk i am

and then hes like ...

and after i said " their prettier anyways " then he says " you are, your prettier trust me.."

and then im likee wtf your blind and then he says i'm not , i honestly think your prettier than them

so theen after he says " not a lot of guys ask you out cause your quiet..."

and then im like k i don't care,,

so then there was a long awkward pause

and he messages me and says 

"you are beautiful, just speaking the truth"

& he randomly asked me wwhat i would rate myself and then he says " okay lets just say 8! "

hes also said " i like you as my good friend

• or maybe more"
  "i wanna know who you like because i like you and i think ur cool"
  "can i have ur number so we can personally talk later"
  he also told me to go to his highschool, ...
  later , another one of my bestiees tells us that he asked her out 
  THE F..
  How often do guys say " your beautiful" to a girl :/
  and wtf is wrong with this dude -___- does he HONESTLY like me ?? or am i just on his flipping dam list of girls to play with.
  if i AM on the "the list" i don't like it 
  guys like that richard simmons me off..
  
  

[Guest Andreas1]

• How often do guys say " your beautiful" to a girl :/
  and wtf is wrong with this dude -___- does he HONESTLY like me ?? or am i just on his flipping dam list of girls to play with.
  if i AM on the "the list" i don't like it 
  guys like that richard simmons me off.

Well I think the kid just wants a girlfriend... I think he does like you or he probably wouldn't bother telling you all that. If I am single and I like a girl I wouldn't hesitate to tell her she is beautiful...especially if she is being modest about herself. It's possible that he is a player though and tells every girl the same thing...maybe you should get to know him a little better before casting judgment.

[Guest HERMIT]

Do guys stare and give longer eye-contact to someone they like (i.e. while talking (one-on-one or with group), etc)? Or is it just normal and an individual 'depends on person' (like personality) type of thing? Or was there something on my face LOL XD

Well, in a group dynamic, if you happen to be the one currently doing the talking, it's harder to tell. In that situation, the guy could just easily be giving you his undivided attention and it really doesn't mean anything other than respectful attentiveness to the speaker. But generally speaking, if a guy's gaze seems to be lingering a lot longer than normal, then that could be indicative of them probably having an attraction of some sort to you. Yet, you have to gauge their facial expression as well: for example, sometimes a guy could be staring in bewilderment at the person because of some facial tic or perhaps because there indeed is something oddly fascinating about their appearance. Whether it be this or a genuine liking/attraction, I think it's generally obvious depending upon the expression and demeanor of the guy as they are looking back at you.

[Guest _serene]

I like my friend ever since the start of senior year. He's always joking, teasing, calling me names and it's fun because I feel more comfortable around him. He notices me a lot when I'm just standing by myself like recently at this school show, I just stood around the stage and he came started to push me around for fun. Then I sat down with my friend doing nothing and he came down and sat on the arm rest of my seat. Then I asked him to take a picture and he put his arm not hugging around me but around me to reach for the chair to balance. My head was basically leaning on his head. Then he put it as his profile picture and everyone thought we were cute together. Then he took it down and put some other picture the next day from the show. Also, the time we were practicing for the show in the auditorium, he would sit in the back or front row of me. Whenever we just pass each other in the hallway, he would lightly push my head or pat it. I sit in a school office during lunch with my friend and he started coming a few months ago and he would pull another chair to sit next to me or with me. We talk about House all the time because he got me addicted to that show =.= but other than that, he also teases me with my EX that I dumped. My ex still likes me after a year and he's always telling me something about it like this other friend told him that my ex still likes me. He sends it to me and starts making fun of me. Also with the picture, he said he wanted to richard simmons my ex off by putting it as his profile picture.

Might sound confusing o_o but in the end, he's very friendly with girls. I don't know what he does with other girls but I know he calls other girls names jokingly and I find that not so special anymore. Seems very typical. I felt like I was led on and everyone can tell that I like him and always asking if something is going on with us but of course not. I feel like I'm misinterpreting his actions and that it was all out of friendship and for fun. I really do like him though. We're going to the same university and maybe living within the same dorm complex since we both applied for the same room prefs.

But recently, he doesn't IM me as much anymore nor text me out of nowhere. When we leave the office, he'll wait a bit for me to pack and leave then say "Bye (insert my name)". Recently though, he just leaves without saying bye. I want us to be more than friends since I like him and want to confess to him but I feel like he might reject me, but even if, I want us to be friends. But I'm scared this one confession will break our friendship as a whole and he might look at me differently and not joke around as much like he used to. What should I do? I was going to wait till university starts and tell him but I feel like it might be too late...

[Guest Steph1430262970]

question, can you really consider a girl your best friend, have no feelings for her whatsoever, while you're with someone ? i'm probably just poking at the ongoing confusion about whether girls and guys can be best friends or not .. LOL.

[Guest Andreas1]

@ _serene

He has had ample opportunity to ask you out, but has not done it. Seems to me that he only views you as a friend. I can see how you would feel he is over flirting and sending mixed messages...he might be a closet homosexual for all we know. Has he ever had a gf?

@ tokidokimiki

I think it really depends whether or not the guy finds her sexually attractive. I have no problem being close friends with girls that I don't find sexually appealing, it's a bit more difficult if my mind is randomly fantasizing.

[Guest Andreas1]

Similar question - What signs or clues do guys give out if he likes a girl - when he is extra friendly, outgoing and nice to everyone? I'm sure it's very subtle.

For me personally it's not subtle lol.. I would be laying on the extra charm for her and eventually get the nerve to ask her out, if she is showing signs of interest as well.

[Guest _serene]

@ _serene

He has had ample opportunity to ask you out, but has not done it. Seems to me that he only views you as a friend. I can see how you would feel he is over flirting and sending mixed messages...he might be a closet homosexual for all we know. Has he ever had a gf?

Yes, he has had a girlfriend in the past in jr high but none in high school since I knew him since freshman year. Think that relationship lasted a year or so. It does seem like mixed messages and I just can't tell and it's been on my mind for a while ;/ I really want to tell him and get it over with because I don't want those feelings to linger for a few more years since we're going to uni together. Probably nothing but he hasn't changed his profile picture for almost months close to a year and when he did, he posted our picture. Should I just tell him that I have feelings for him?

[Guest samstring]

-REMOVED-

[candymoon]

Hi, thanks this is such cool topic. How many question can we ask? lol.

I want to ask my most two for now,,

First, WHY really do guy play video game all night??

I met this new guy and he told me he was a computer geek, later I realized he really mean it when I visit his house, and all he does is play video game and I am sitting right next to him. It kinda of annoying and rude?? Is it really that fun that it become an addiction?

Second, during hanging out and dating, before become an official couple, do GUY pay for everything? like dinner, movie, attactions, etc?

If the girl offer, should he let her or decline. What if she did pay for it? What does it say about this guy?

Thanks!!

[Guest HERMIT]

Here is my problem. Hope u guys can help me and pardon my lack of forum etiquette as I've only lurked forums my entire life and I lack confidence in expressing myself with just words.*quoted image*

I had confessed to a good friend, and my feelings got rejected. She used to text and call me almost every night, seldom refused to hang out with me even during the oddest of times. This isn't the case after the day I confessed. She contacted me less often and I often got rejected when I asked her out privately. I need to reiterate that we did share such private and close moments frequently in the past.

One thing I like to highlight is that we had agreed to remain as close friends and do things we would normally do after the day of my confession. But things did not turn out to be as expected and I was extremely dissatisfied. For that, I often quarrelled with her about how she was not treating me the same as before even though we had that mutual understanding. I was trying to force her to admit that she hasn't truly gotten over with me confessing to her. And when she finally blurted it out, she said she would forsake this friendship altogether, and continued saying mean stuffs like how she hates me so much now, don't really care about our friendship, persistently wanting to hang up the phone; basically stuffs that would shatter this friendship.

Believing that she was being v impulsive and what she said was in the fit of anger, I took a softer stance and tried to persuade her to reconsider what she said. I even went as low as begging her not to end things in such a way. (I have a v adamant nature and a big ego, thus begging and imploring aren't something that I would do) However, it worked somehow when she told me we can talk about it again after she finished her exams. But after a few hrs passed, I sent her a "nicely constructed" msg, asking her to just call it quits and end things amicably, even going as far as wishing her well in her future endeavours. The msg was probably something I would regret but due to the my stubbornness getting the better of me and to redeem myself for begging out of my will, I sent it anyway. I myself am also baffled that I could send out such an extraordinary while still being infatuated with her. She hasn't replied since.

My question is is there still any leeway to reconcile this friendship or has it become a lost cause? And if there is, any ways for it to revert back to the pre-confession days? I really appreciate if someone could advise me on this and I promise I will take no offences even if u are gona be critical about my actions.*quoted image*

Sorry samstring, but I think it's just a lost cause. I was in practically the same boat as you were many, many years ago with a girl back in my college days and the same thing happened to me - to the extent that my confession didn't ultimately come to the conclusion that I had hoped. The only difference was that I accepted her decision and this girl and I were able to remain friends afterwards without me getting all buggy about it. Even after we've graduated from college, we'd still remained acquaintances, albeit long distance and mostly via birthday and Christmas cards. It's only now in writing this that I realize it's been 20 years since our graduation from college in 1991. She's since gotten married (I attended her wedding) and now has 3 lovely children.

As for your situation, I think what may have ultimately broke it for you was the ensuing quarreling and still revisiting what already was made an uncomfortable issue for her. This is just my opinion, but probably the best thing you could have done was to have just let the confession/rejection episode fade away and focus more on maintaining the friendship as best as it could be salvaged given the circumstances. If you were to have displayed some coolness under these conditions, she likewise probably would have tempered her own feelings and also sought to bring normalcy back into your lives. And if you were able to accomplish this, who knows what could have happened later on down the road. Figuratively speaking, you may have lost the battle with the confession but it by no means could it mean that you absolutely lost the war. If you were able to exercise patience and humility, it could have paid you dividends over the long run - and maybe things could have been different in the future if you had another chance.

But now, with that 'well constructed' message I'm fearing you just nuked the hell out of your chances in what was left in this figurative war. You could very well have just effectively ended it just out of sheer pride. If she bothers or is able to come out of embers of this nuclear bomb you just laid on her, consider it a miracle and yourself lucky - and proceed with more caution and humility. But it wouldn't surprise me if she doesn't bother contacting you again.

In any event, considering all that has transpired, I'm afraid it will be a LONG time - if ever - that you could revert your relationship back to pre-confession days.

Anyhow, lessons learned - all we can ever do is grow from them.

[Guest Andreas1]

My question is is there still any leeway to reconcile this friendship or has it become a lost cause? And if there is, any ways for it to revert back to the pre-confession days? I really appreciate if someone could advise me on this and I promise I will take no offences even if u are gona be critical about my actions.*quoted image*

No, it's over. You may have messed up badly, but at least now you don't have perpetuate the charade anymore, and can move on with your life. You have the freedom and closure to allow yourself to look for someone new that you can have a real relationship with.

[odaesan]

Hi, thanks this is such cool topic. How many question can we ask? lol.

I want to ask my most two for now,,

First, WHY really do guy play video game all night??

I met this new guy and he told me he was  a computer geek, later I realized he really mean it when I visit his house, and all he does is play video game and I am sitting right next to him. It kinda of annoying and rude?? Is it really that fun that it become an addiction?

Second, during hanging out and dating, before become an official couple, do GUY pay for everything? like dinner, movie, attactions, etc?

If the girl offer, should he let her or decline. What if she did pay for it? What does it say about this guy?

Thanks!!

"Computer geek" != video game addict.

Video games are fun, but it's awkward to have someone be there and do nothing while I play. There's no reason to make it happen.

During dating, the guy usually pays for everything. It's just part of the defined role. The woman paying for things usually hurts his pride. If the girl offers, the most the guy can do is let her take the least expensive part of it all and pay for everything else. Letting the girl pay every time she offers is bad.