Guys: Do You Pay For Dates?

[Guest Kerriganton]

speedredefined said: If she's Asian and you're Asian and you don't pay, you're screwed (not in the sex kind of "screw", but as in you're not getting any).  She'll also tell her Asian female friends and then you're really screwed.  Way easier to just fork the bill.  If she's nice she'll offer to pay for dessert or drinks after.  
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(PS: if you're white and she's Asian, she'll be nicer.  She'll split the bill with you.  Asian girls have lower standards / are nicer to non-Asian dudes because Asian dudes are too nice to them #factoflife #sorrynotsorry #truth)  

[Guest showoff]

@jennibear01
Just out of curiosity, do you identify yourself as Westernized Asian female or as a traditional Asian female.  In my experiences, the Westernized Asian females will have a more progressive point of view when it comes to male-female gender roles, whereas the traditional Asian females have a more old-fashioned view of gender roles (as in, the guy pays for everything, etc).
EDIT:  Also, same goes for Westerinzed Asian males and traditional Asian males; ie. the traditional Asian males expect the woman to be the homemaker, etc.

[Guest mickeyd]

SlicedBread said: In my book, dates were always for girls who were already my girlfriends. Everything else was just hanging out. Chemistry doesn't need a wallet to spark it. 
Besides, I agree with what the comedian Jerry Seinfeld says. A date, when you're just trying to get to know each other more, is like a job interview that lasts all night. You're really just evaluating each other, which makes it hard to have fun. The only difference between a job interview and a date is that at the end there's a chance you'll end up naked. 
To quote him more, instead of asking someone on a date, we should just say: "You seem nice. Why don't we get together sometime for some serious scrutiny?" 
It's better to just get to know someone as friends. 

[Guest showoff]

@jennibear01

The existence of a minority's exception does not make the majority's rule any less true.  There are approximately 7.8 million Asian females in the USA.  There are approximately 1.99 billion Asian females living outside of the USA.  Are you trying to say that all 7.8 million females in the USA are completely Westernized as are 50% of the 1.99 billion females living out of the USA?

EDIT:  I don't really understand why people like to use a minority stance to try to invalidate the majority's stance.  That would be like me saying "Koreans speak Korean." only to have someone raise their hand and say "I'm Korean, but I don't speak Korean.  Koreans don't speak Korean, maybe it's just the personality or type of person he/she was that you encountered."  Umm... no.  I'm not retarded enough to think that all Koreans speak Korean, but that the vast majority do.  I shouldn't have to preface my statement with "most" when I say that Koreans speak Korean; that should just be a given.  Same deal here.  It's obvious that nobody thinks that every Asian female living on Earth expects the man to pay for dates, but statistically speaking, it's a sure bet that the vast majority do.

[Mannosuke]

Guys should always pay for dates because girls simply make less than guys on average.If you look at the average incomes for the same positions between a man and a woman you will find that the man on average gets paid a whole lot more for the same job than a woman.
Thus, guys should be the ones paying because they have money and are the breadwinner of the family like how it is in Pakistan, the center of the human civilization the arabian night spring!

[Guest]

on the other hand, the girls i've met expect white guys to pay more so than asian guys, while the majority of asian girls i know would greatly prefer dating an asian guy in general.
most of the asian girls dating white guys what i know, usually tried their luck with asian guys first, but for one reason or another they were not valued by their asian counterpart. i also noticed it depends on where you live. i know a handful of asian girls who used to live deep in the bay area where there are every race to choose from. During this time she would exclusively date asian guys. however they moved to "white america" and when  i went to visit there was literally no other option. the girls eventually started looking at white guys as an option
if u look at surveys, statistically asian guys are more comfortable dating interacially than asian girls are. asian females were actually the highest % who said they would much prefer to date within their race.

[Guest]

that is interesting because the Bay Area is actually more diverse than those places u mentioned and most asian girls here prefer to date within their own race.  the ones who say they dont, usually do but for one reason or another they cant get asian guys, and the "yellow fever" white guys are much easier target. this is perfectly understandable.
i hear stories about hot asian girls going for white guys first, but in my life here, i simply dont see that. 
my guess to why it is like this, is because i know in LA, although it is diverse as a whole, different parts are mainly segregated. so if an asian girl grows up in a white neighborhood, she'll fit into their culture more, understand them more than her fellow asians, etc. i dont think its a SKIN color thing. i think whats more important is the culture and feeling comfortable.
i know a korean guy who grew up in compton, his first girlfriend was a black girl. most asian guys will tell u black girls are near the end of the list in what they'd like to date. but he did it willingly because he grew up that way. in the bay area there are different races everywhere so u'll always have asians around no matter where u grow up around here.

[Guest showoff]

Lie said: showoff said:EDIT:  I don't really understand why people like to use a minority stance to try to invalidate the majority's stance.  That would be like me saying "Koreans speak Korean." only to have someone raise their hand and say "I'm Korean, but I don't speak Korean.  Koreans don't speak Korean, maybe it's just the personality or type of person he/she was that you encountered."  Umm... no.  I'm not retarded enough to think that all Koreans speak Korean, but that the vast majority do.  I shouldn't have to preface my statement with "most" when I say that Koreans speak Korean; that should just be a given.  Same deal here.  It's obvious that nobody thinks that every Asian female living on Earth expects the man to pay for dates, but statistically speaking, it's a sure bet that the vast majority do.

[Guest]

i think online dating surveys are far from accurate. i think the majority of people who use those are either there to hook up (shows that kind of person they are), there because they had some trauma in a past relationship and is on the rebound, or for MOST cases it seems, they are simply unable to get into a relationship.
i think this is the minority as most people do get into relationships. and therefore asian women on those dating sites may be the ones i mentioned earlier which unable to get with an asian guy, thus settle with a white guy with lower standards due to "yellow fever"
but instead of admitting that somewhat embaressing truth, she specifically aims for white guys, rejecting asian guys as a whole as a defence against being once again, rejected by an asian man.
i developed this theory some years ago, and me and some friends put it into action to see what would happen. we found some 10 asian chicks who claimed they "didn't like asian guys" and then selected someone from our network of friends that we felt was compatible to her life style. as almost all my friends have done quite well with women growing up, it was easy to find someone who could test our theory. 
basically we found that once an asian male expresses a sincere interest and the girl trusts that "hey this guy wont just dump me, he doesnt think im ugly or fat compared to all the other asian girls" she puts down her defences and she pretty much takes back everything she's ever said and is genuinely excited and happy that an asian guy likes her.
this was true 100% of the time where we tested this (no flowers were picked during this process if you know what i mean).
this shows that either 1. those girls are full of it, or 2, race actually doesn't really matter to women.
however i know many asian girls who only date asian guys and handsome white or black guys who hit on them, they brush off and feel "ew" about the whole experience. again, i need to say it depends on culture. im sure outside of the bay area things are possibly different. and in places that are like 90% white, they are sure to be different.
i used to work at this spot deep deep in oakland. and a lot of black people would come in and talk to eachother there. apparently black women want to date white guys. and are proud of dating white guys, from what i heard from the few true intelectuals who werent just hate ranting, it is due to self hate because of growing up in a minority setting. it made a lot of sense to me. if u are asian or black growing up in a white place, you are treated different, looked at different, and so u slowly learn to hate the fact that your skin color. it is a subconcious seed planted inside you which guides your thoughts.
i thnk this is also a valid explaination concerning why people prefer to date within their own race if they grew up around people of their own race and culture, but end up dating others if they grew up without that opportunity.
i kno wa few blacks and whites who grew up almost completely in korea, they only want to date koreans. this would support this theory.

[Mannosuke]

The other day I was enjoying some SUBWAY when some chinese women at the other table, probably in their late 20's, started talking about dating preferences and how one of their groupies got married to a white man and they're wondering when they can land a white boy that will take care of them and treat them properly unlike the chinese dudes that they dropped.
So while some asian women might settle for asian males, plenty of asian women would love to have other males as well. Only limiting themselves to asian dudes just means there's more to go around for the rest!

[Guest brokenmachine]

Even though it is never directly taught, my family had always influenced me not to take other people's generosity for granted (and remember to repay the favour), also keeping money matters quite separate unless it's a very close relationship, and I'd consider my parents to be traditional asian parents.
Initially I always had a feeling that I 'owed' someone if they got the bill for me, which I don't think it's a great principle to live by. So depending on situations, I am much less fussy on paying because sometimes it's unnecessary to be persistent if everyone enjoyed themselves, can always return that the next time. 
If both had a good time on a date, and the guy insists that he will get a bill, I'd just take it as a compliment and let him get it, vice versa, I'd offer to say it's my treat or at least get my wallet ready when it comes to paying.  

[Guest]

^ most of them weren't "unattractive" persay, but more had some personality issues. mostly coming from insecurity.

[NaughtyDog]

ajlee613 said: ^ most of them weren't "unattractive" persay, but more had some personality issues. mostly coming from insecurity. lol

[Guest]

Naughty Dog said: ajlee613 said: ^ most of them weren't "unattractive" persay, but more had some personality issues. mostly coming from insecurity. lol

[Guest SlicedBread]

The whole "pay-for-dates because that's custom" thing is not a predominantly Asian girl thing at all. Even self-proclaimed White feminists still hold on to that vestigial gender role. 
The Charlton Heston meme is appropriate here, given the fury with which so many women defend this privilege of theirs:  they'll only give it up when someone "takes it from their cold dead hands" . 

[Guest blnyc]

So I went on a date with this girl I've been dating the last month or so. I paid for lunch, then we went to get desserts and we split that, and then for dinner she paid for me.
I was okay with it because she really wanted to and because I had paid for all the dates we had previously been on. We're going out again this weekend and I'm paying for that date too. So I don't mind if she pays every here and there and I do appreciate the gesture.

[Guest]

speedredefined said:

SlicedBread

said:

The whole "pay-for-dates because that's custom" thing is not a predominantly Asian girl thing at all. Even self-proclaimed White feminists still hold on to that vestigial gender role. 
The Charlton Heston meme is appropriate here, given the fury with which so many women defend this privilege of theirs:  they'll only give it up when someone "takes it from their cold dead hands" . 

[Guest ikweli]

yeah i was about to say.. i think ajlee lives in a society i live in so i understand all of his points and the girls that i meet are 100% like explained. i actually go out to eat pho like at least once a month with some people especially my gf (thats kind of a lot because some of their parents make pho like every week or two they should be sick of it). its also true they'd still get some everyday food like fried rice sometimes in a fancy restaurant when there's other things they should try i'm like.... what? i'm not talking like regular fried rice though, i mean like hawaiiwan fried rice or thai seafood fried rice etc. but still, lol.
both sides of the discussion seem agreeable tho. i believe some of us just live in other areas

[Guest]

i wonder where you live, because white people around here especially when it comes to dating asian girls, are the biggest push overs i've ever seen in my life.
it reminds me those american dramas, about high school and football players and white house parties etc. i always thought that kind of life style was a complete myth made by media for entertainment purposes. but the more i read here, the more it seem that life outside of the big cities in california are probably like that.

[Guest AtomAgeStrawberry]

speedredefined said:

SlicedBread

said:

The whole "pay-for-dates because that's custom" thing is not a predominantly Asian girl thing at all. Even self-proclaimed White feminists still hold on to that vestigial gender role. 
The Charlton Heston meme is appropriate here, given the fury with which so many women defend this privilege of theirs:  they'll only give it up when someone "takes it from their cold dead hands" .