Nang Hom

A copy of my last post on the SS thread in case it gets deleted

My last post on this thread is dedicated to anyone who does truly care about SJK, SHK and this thread. This is not to remonstrate or scold or  police or to be sarcastic or sanctimonious or whine.

I truly mean this with the very best of my intentions and with heart-felt emotions.

At the cost of sounding overly dramatic even a man being taken to the gallows gets to say some last words, so I hope that people will allow me a few last words of my own.

What many of you thought to be policing, I took to be protecting - not just SJK and SHK but the person who being "policed" as well. I thought this was a family and people wouldn't be so sensitive to be corrected about the truth by a family member but I was proven wrong time and time again. That's all right though - my mistake for thinking of this thread as a community where we had stronger bonds than that. 

Apart from the trolls, I never once reported any of you to the Mods even if you posted false information etc. but many of you reported me for "abusive behaviour" - I think this should serve as proof of how I felt towards you and in return how you felt towards me.

I wanted all of you to only have the true version of facts on every topic and honestly I know that the people who were being corrected even if they felt "attacked" at the moment must have known my true intentions.

I don't think that I come across as an internet bully who likes to pick on people, so you all must have known the true intent behind what I said and when I said. If you still held a grudge because of how I said it then I am sorry but can you truly admit that it was not just your ego being hurt? If it's not the latter then I apologise again.

In addition many of you who felt wronged by me, know for a fact that in several panicky situations in the past that I was the person who you wrote to via PM. And I tried my very best to talk and help anyone who wrote to me - Maybe you have forgotten?. To say I am not hurt by you all would be lying to myself. But then again, this was wrong of me to expect something from you but I thought I had earned that right to expect your understanding towards my actions by me having demonstrated care for those of you who panicked and wrote to me. 

What hurt me the most is being called a tyrant or accused of tyrannical behaviour because 

• I asked people to back-read. [ I did it to so that you would be up-to-date with the news and events in addition to maintaining order in the thread]
• I asked people not to re-post the same content. [Again, I did not realise that this would come across as tyrannical. I thought everyone would logically read from the last post/page that they left off and therefore there was no need to post content that was several days ago]
• I asked people not to spend false news. [I though the reason was pretty obvious why I did this.]
• I pointed out people who were trolls. [Unlike what many of you might think, fighting of trolls isn't a fun activity. I did it to make sure that we wouldn't have a panic situation and those of you on the thread know just how many times this has happened in the past.]

Many pointed out that I ought to be "more polite", well I am sorry that I was not mindful of my Ps and Qs but maybe if you all had been equally  mindful of your posts then I wouldn't have across as being rude. I will take responsibility for my tone and words  but can you all also take accountability for what you've said and done?

Some said that I was the reason behind lurkers not posting because I scared them?. Well, all of you at one point were lurkers - I don't think I have attacked any first time posters on this thread, after all we've all had a first post on this thread - haven't we?.

Yes,  if you were a troll or exhibited troll-ish behaviour in your first post then I have been suspicious of your intentions to de-lurk - if that made lurkers uncomfortable to the point that they decided that they shouldn't post. But, I don't think I was the only one - or was I?. 

Many of you took your hate against me to other SNS sites making this a personal issue but I have never once done so, several people with whom I had past disagreements are now people I speak to regularly via PM. I din't know that correcting someone on the thread made me your enemy. If it gave rise to such negative emotions in you then once again, I am sorry. There is enough negativity and hate in this world - my intention in correcting false facts was never done with a feeling of superiority. In fact people on my PM list know how uncomfortable I felt when people started calling me "Captain J ", I have never ever felt like I was better than any of you and honestly it hurts me that you all would think that I was someone like that.

Being called a "Ms. Know-it-all" yet you copied my news on your SNS sites?. I was't a good enough person for you to like but to pick up the news that I translated was good enough?. I was a horrible person but my posts and information was good?.

The reason why I am writing this is because try though I might to wash off my hands off this thread see , I feel a sense of responsibility because I've been here since the very beginning but I realise now that this is not my sole responsibility. I felt compelled to "police/correct" because I truly felt SHK and SJK deserved it. I felt compelled to write several long paragraphs of translations for all of you, several times I did it while it was live stream because I felt the shippers deserved to know the news - fast and accurate-. If I made any mistakes in translations then I have immediately corrected myself. The same standards I held for the rest of you, I held for myself. 

So basically at the very end, I want to end on a positive note. My parting with this thread and many of you may not be on the best of terms, but please treat this thread more preciously. You all deserve better than just "spazzing for the sake of spazzing" and moreover SJK and SHK deserve a thread where fans are more responsible towards them and the content that they post about them. Let my post be the last time that the issue of false information is raised on this thread. I wish all of you the very best for your lives and your duration on this thread.  

I hope that page 1300 is the end of all negativity on this thread in a true sense and all of you're a much better support system to each other than some of us might have been for you in the earlier pages.

A special shout-out to the people I can call my friends on this thread, thank you for being my support system in times of need. And a also to the people who always send me PMs asking me how I'm feeling after a bad day on the thread, I feel so very touched that a person who doesn't know me in real life can show me such care and kindness. Thank you for being people with beautiful hearts.

Good Luck everyone  and Farewell to you all .  

Goodbye, thread! I'll miss you!