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Why do tomboys hate being girly?

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  • SilkInfusedSilkInfused 君だけが守れるものをみつけだしたら up in the airPosts: 1,353Friend of Soompi
    edited February 2010
    QUOTE (LovelySeoul @ Feb 8 2010, 11:49 AM) »
    I don't get why some girls HATE being feminine.

    This may sound alien to you but perhaps her own ideal image of expressing herself as a female is to dress in a manner that is ironically, tomboyish. She sounds like she has a simple and utilitarian lifestyle: Short hair cut, no worries about makeup, doesn't care if she mismatches clothes, etc.,. I don't think she intentionally wants to be mistaken for a guy or a butch lesbian either. If she's constantly being mistaken for one, then she might not have the confidence to pull off femininity. Why don't you two play dress-up and switch roles for a day and see what that's like for her?

    Honestly, I hate all things girly-girly. I don't like fake nails or fake eyelashes. I don't like decorating my celphone with tiny plastic cuppycakes with rhinestones. I don't like those weird dolls in Gothic Lolita fashion and hell, I don't even like wearing makeup. All of this stuff is so ridiculously inconceivable to me despite being the fairer sex. It may be a feminine cliche thing to do, but it is not my definition of being feminine. I'm sure my female friends all have their own sense of what they consider feminine as well that can be at odds with one another. Some would dress extremely sexy, some would dress homely, some would dress tomboyish. I wear dresses, curl my hair, rollerblade, bike, rough house with dogs, pump gas at the station, and can be elegant enough to please the social scene, and that's enough for me. Cut your roomie some slack!
  • momo_xmomo_x Posts: 92Member
    haven't read the whole thread, but i think mocking girls for being feminine is going a little far on your roommate's part. so is stereotyping girls who do like to dress up and put on makeup and everything. if she's simply a tomboy, that's just a preference in style; she shouldn't find the need to mock others who are different.

    on the other hand, you should just deal with it. there's going to be a lot of people in your life who aren't going to be okay with the way you dress, act, etc. so, she shouldn't criticize you, you shouldn't criticize her. image
  • LiandonLiandon ?you're beautiful, but empty? Posts: 357Member
    edited February 2010
    It's a personal preference, so I don't know why you're bothered by it.
    Just because a girl does not wear make up doesn't make her a tomboy. She'd rather not.
    Who cares if a girl does not like 'girly' things?
    Would you rather we girls were all stereotypical whiners who hated to get dirty, loved princess pink and enjoyed tea parties, wearing nothing but dresses?
    There are different people in this world, boys and girls, and you know what? Nobody should care if they are a girl and wear pants all the time. : / I do, and does that make me less of a girl? No.
    It's just their way of dressing, just as you have a way of dressing which is different.
  • adiavoyadiavoy Posts: 2,281Member
    edited February 2010
    Well I used to be a tomboy... well, I kind of still am. It's maybe because she might not be comfortable wearing make-up, skirts, doing her hair or whatever because you know... things like that do attract attention from people and she probably doesn't like that type of attention. Moral of story? Let people be themselves.
  • .Demy.Demy sarangeun ice cream MichiganPosts: 820Member
    edited February 2010
    I have so many problems with this.

    1. What does being lesbian have to do with not being girly? This is a gross over-generalization. My friend is lesbian and she dresses girlier than me. She wears makeup, shops at Forever21, loves skirts, bright colors, floral prints and still--god forbid--has a girlfriend.

    2. Why is it so bad to be a tomboy? Why do you wear makeup? Why do you cringe at guy pants? Why do you keep your hair long and comb it everyday and worry about how you look?
    You and your roommate are both looking at each other from the same perspective asking the same--though oppositely posed--questions. What seems natural to you (spending an hour choosing an outfit) seems like a chore to her. And what seems natural to her (wearing whatever she wants, not what other people tell her to wear) seems strange to you.

    3. Some girls just don't like being extremely girly. That's just who they are. And so what if that's what they want to do? Why should we all follow what society says. You're telling me that girls should be girly because that's how society is. That's how it's been and so that's what we should mindlessly follow.
    ♥♥♥
  • HaplessChildHaplessChild Apathetic Posts: 5,398Member
    I love tromping along in the woods, hiking, jumping in puddles, going on long walks, rough housing, chasing my dog, building things, etc. You can't do any of that crap in 3 inch heels, lace and tight pants. It certainly doesn't make any sense to put make-up on to do those things because it'll be gone in about 15 minutes flat. Function over form.
  • xstarBURSTxstarBURST no. somewhere in a box.Posts: 4,719Member

    IDOL

    I'm sort of a tom boy, not as bad as to when I was in high school. My cousins are as girly girls can get. I prefer to be a tom boy because I really don't care for the latest trend, or make up. I believe that buying clothes that are current trend to be a waste of money and same goes for make up- too much make up can ruin your skin =/

    I'm quite content with my hoodies, t-shirt and jeans and going out without any make up on. It's not time consuming and I can sleep a little longer.
  • LibraZebraLibraZebra Posts: 482Member
    edited February 2010
    It's in their personality. Some girls are just more "boyish" I guess. Hatred of being girly probably just is the dislike of people who are girly, I don't know. Like how some people hate the color pink because people who like pink are "ditzy" or whatever?

    I mean, my mom's like that, but she's also still girly. For example, she hates carrying purses and wears jeans all the time, but she still has long hair, likes wearing skirts, and wears makeup. My sister's the same way lol.

    Personally, I don't wear skirts often because I don't think I look good in them, but I'm like one of the girly-est people ever lol
    ♥
  • soompier1soompier1 Area 51Posts: 2,187Member
    edited February 2010
    OP you are entitled to your opinion and you are entitled the right to post that on public forum and promote discussion about it. But not a single one of your arguments or responses are coherent or valid and make you seem like an insecure/self absorbed person.
    Your topic doesn't make sense, you begin with an overgeneralization that all tomboys hate being girly, you then go on to say that your roommate offends you with her standoffish attitude toward makeup/'girly things' and then you say that your old roommate was girlier than you and this also offended you. You are complaining about the appearance of another person (entire group of people) yet they are the ones who are immature. You label others and bash them yet hate this occurence when it happens to you.
    Overall my understanding from your post is you are a hypocrite, all the tomboys in the universe are secret lesbians, you have been victimized by all your roommates, and expected the members of soompi to support your stance and sympathize with you by creating this thread. How did I fair? Am I on mark at all here?

    QUOTE (Malice_Kaiser @ Feb 8 2010, 09:40 AM) »
    You really are something, aren't you. You think that just because some girls don't like having to conform to yours and the rest of society's ridiculous standards of beauty that they're just lazy, immature, and there's something wrong with them. Why does everyone have to care so damn much about their appearance in order to gain acceptance? Wearing make-up, dressing up, that stuff is all fine, but some people have different priorities, different tastes, and different standards of beauty, and the fact that you're so closeted from the real world that you can't even accept that is really depressing.

    I also find it really sad that you're begging for sympathy. You poor thing, it's not fair that you have to put so much effort into your looks when others don't care about theirs. Give me a break.

    If I had to guess, I'd guess that you're just jealous that you're so neurotic about your looks while others couldn't give a crap.

    quoted for truth
  • junsujunsujunsujunsu Posts: 3,395Banned
    well, people have told me that I'm a tomboy...it's not really that I try or hate being girly, it's just im more comfortable with loose clothes..I've tried to carry a purse and stuff...not for me. And yeah I find it annoying when people try to girlify me cus it's uncomfortable though I want to be more girly...
    ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 5.12.2009 ~R.I.P~ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
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  • x byul satangx byul satang Posts: 1,003Member

    ROOKIE

    i agree with what others have said so far about this topic so i won't repeat it again.
    so i'll just say that it sounds like you have problems with your roommate. you should talk to her about it instead of coming here looking for sympathy.
  • saiainoshisaiainoshi Newport BeachPosts: 366Member

    ROOKIE

    edited February 2010
    Coming from a tomboy who's gone to androgynous girl, I can tell you I hated girly girls because all the ones that I had encountered were shallow as hell. Most people who saw me thought I was a lesbian and I was ok with that because they wouldn't bother me. So I never had to deal with bimbo air head girlie girls. I hate girly girls, because they're usually the first ones to judge you based on appearance. Another thing, they wont leave the house without makeup. Why would you want to cover your pretty face to make yourself look different? Why would I want to put effort into being something I'm not every day? Most of my friends are guys. Why? Because they don't stress over stupid crap or cause drama to make themselves look better(At least none of my guy friends do). I was just like your roommate, hated the thought of being girlie, hell I didn't have skirts/dresses in my wardrobe till at 24 or so. Why though? I didn't feel feminine, I have the mind set of a guy, I'm a guy trapped in a girls body, I've always associated myself with guys my whole life, the list goes on.

    What it comes down to is, I'm not out to impress people. I could give two sh*ts about what others think of me. Why would I care? Why SHOULD I care? Caring about what others think is what makes girls so hard on themselves. Why would I want to impress people simply based on my looks? I'm more than just a face, I'm more than just a hair style, I'm more than just the clothing I wear, and could really care less if someone thinks negatively of me because I choose to look different. Why? Wasted energy, stressing out over stupid crap.. its just not worth it.
  • ilikecandixDilikecandixD CALIFORNIA!!Posts: 592Member
    well, i don't know. maybe she was raised differently . when i was little i was a major tomboy, i lived with my dad and brother. so i was a reallly really big tomboy. i hated people who liked princesses, and pink. because i don't know, it made them seem more concided. But now since im older, *hit puberty* i am pretty girler than most of my friends. Maybe we don't like girly girls because your our oppositee??
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  • iyagiiyagi 임진영♣ Posts: 1,505Member
    edited February 2010
    Read this whole goddang thread lol. Quite an interesting read, and I gotta say Malice_Kaiser pretty much takes the cake on this situation here. Those are some words you'd be good to learn from.

    You (and your roommate too) lack in tolerance for other people's choice of lifestyle. And as some have said, tomboys act the way they do because they are comfortable with themselves this way or they do not perceive beauty the same way you do. This is no reason to be disrespectful towards them.

    And about the complaining about being mistaken for a guy? Well, maybe she's more upset about society's preconceived notions of how a girl/guy is supposed to look like. Who's to say that a girl can't dress how she wants, even if that includes guy clothing? Who's to say a girl isn't allowed to go out in public without makeup? Who's to say a girl shouldn't wear her hair short or not put every bit of effort into how she looks? I know I don't necessarily approve of the messed up vision of "beauty" people have today, not to mention old-fashioned gender roles. Welcome to the 21st Century, dear. Things are different.
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  • soompier1soompier1 Area 51Posts: 2,187Member
    QUOTE (saiainoshi @ Feb 8 2010, 01:47 PM) »
    Coming from a tomboy who's gone to androgynous girl, I can tell you I hated girly girls because all the ones that I had encountered were shallow as hell. Most people who saw me thought I was a lesbian and I was ok with that because they wouldn't bother me. So I never had to deal with bimbo air head girlie girls. I hate girly girls, because they're usually the first ones to judge you based on appearance. Another thing, they wont leave the house without makeup. Why would you want to cover your pretty face to make yourself look different? Why would I want to put effort into being something I'm not every day? Most of my friends are guys. Why? Because they don't stress over stupid crap or cause drama to make themselves look better(At least none of my guy friends do). I was just like your roommate, hated the thought of being girlie, hell I didn't have skirts/dresses in my wardrobe till at 24 or so. Why though? I didn't feel feminine, I have the mind set of a guy, I'm a guy trapped in a girls body, I've always associated myself with guys my whole life, the list goes on.

    you hated people based on their appearance and they were shallow, makes no sense
  • nailbunnynailbunny YARRR USPosts: 1,315Member

    IDOL

    Now I have more issues with this thread and would just like to say:

    Defending one side does not mean you need to bash the other. I have seen so many generalizations on this thread basically about how much "girly" things suck so badly and girly girls are all selfish and vain and judgmental and mean-spirited and shallow and on and on and how tomboys > girly girls. So please, just get off your high horse and
    STFU. You're being just as bad as the OP was.

  • saiainoshisaiainoshi Newport BeachPosts: 366Member

    ROOKIE

    Ok let me rephrase, I didn't hate them, I disliked them. From my experience growing up, the shallow girls were the ones who would sit in front of the mirror for hours doing themselves up for school. God forbid they walked into school without their face painted on. I disliked them, because they disliked me for not being apart of the "norm." I was different, and people are afraid of different. So what do they do? They make fun of different people by bully them, putting them down, etc. That's just human nature, we're afraid of things we don't understand.
  • chrissatineechrissatinee Brooklyn, NYPosts: 7,219Member
    I think the topic title is funny. Why do tomboys hate being girly? Cause they're tomboys.

    I think the only way to know the answer to your question is ask your roommate yourself.
  • firstlove127firstlove127 Posts: 152Member
    it not that i don't like being feminine i don't like looking weak in front of other. especially guys. they think they are so much better because they are guys. i personally hate showing my weak side to other people even my parent. but when i act like that my friend call me tomboy. so i guess im a tomboy then. its really annoying when i see girl showing their weak side out and make other people pity them.
  • tockitocki Posts: 97Member
    QUOTE (firstlove127 @ Feb 8 2010, 11:23 PM) »
    it not that i don't like being feminine i don't like looking weak in front of other. especially guys. they think they are so much better because they are guys. i personally hate showing my weak side to other people even my parent. but when i act like that my friend call me tomboy. so i guess im a tomboy then. its really annoying when i see girl showing their weak side out and make other people pity them.


    i soo agree.
    actually when i see a 'girly girl' actin all weak n stuff i find it rlly cute.
    but i can't imagine myself actin like dat. i'd be embarrassed. T_T
    PLEASE DELETE MY ACCOUNT.I'VE WAITED OEVR A YEAR NOW; AND NOTHING HAPPENED: I CAN' EVEN LOG OUT: PLEASE FREEZE IT:
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