Dating people who smoke/do drugs

[Guest]

My boyfriend smoked a lot but he's been cutting down recently. I appreciate him for that.

I really didn't mind him smoking but he started getting sick so I adviced him to cut down not for me but for his health.

But overall I really don't mind. He has good breath and nice teeth, lol.

[makelovenoises]

I don't care lol. He's a business man and he has his life in the right track. So he's not bumming out, broke spending his cash on drugs. I'm more of a pothead than him. I smoke almost every time we hangout and he only smokes a few times a month with me. And we do drugs when we go to raves. So I don't care if he does drugs. I still love him. People make weed sound super bad. Ugh, that is what annoys me. People that make a big deal out of weed. Other drugs? I can understand a bit.

[Guest jellie_kookie]

As long as he's not a chain smoker, it's fine.

For hardcore drugs (like coke, etc.) I really don't want a drug addict as a boyfriend...

[Guest lazurm]

Something sort of similar happened to me, but in my case she was the smoker.My girlfriend is a heavy smoker, about one pack every day, and for a couple of years I would rag on her about it, especially since, when we started dating, she hid that fact from me. She'd tell me that I didn't understand how tough it is to quit and I'd counter that if she really wanted to quit she would. Finally, just before our summer break, she suggested that if I'd smoke like she did for the summer, at summer's end we'd both quit it'd be easier for her because she'd be quitting with me instead of for me and, if I'd do that for her, I'd understand what she's going through. 

At first I was very reluctant because, frankly, the idea of smoking was very disgusting to me, but I decided to teach her a lesson while fully believing what she said had merit.

It took me almost a week to get used to inhaling (she insisted I inhale because otherwise "it wouldn't work"). It took another 6 weeks to smoke as much as she did. In fact, when we were together she'd usually light two, one for each of us. 

By the time school started again I reminded her of her promise and she agreed to stop with me. What was interesting to me at the time was how I learned to associate certain situations with smoking, since she would light up when, for instance, we'd get into the car to go somewhere, or right after leaving a movie theater, or while talking on the phone, etc. I was amazed how, even after only 2 months, I would get the same impulse during those times but, because of our agreement and my feelings about smoking and its affects on long term health, I wouldn't give into them.

The problem started when she said that giving up smoking doesn't have to be sudden. So she said it'd be better if we'd "cut back for awhile and then eventually stop completely". Now the new "rule" was to "cut back together" which meant I'd still keep smoking with her. This meant smoking together, instead of all day. So we'd smoke together, typically, as soon as we woke up, after each meal, one when arriving home and one before going to sleep. Weeks passed by and I asked her when we'd start cutting down. She'd say soon and I didn't push it because, I thought, it was working and was better than it originally was. I think a good part of the reason I didn't fight her on this was because, frankly, at this point, I actually enjoyed smoking, though I didn't realize this in a solidly conscious way.

I never admitted to her that those more occasional cigarettes were becoming very important to me. It was even hard to admit this fact to myself, but when we'd light up together I'd get an almost instant feeling of relief. It's hard to describe but it felt similar to drinking a cold glass of water after being very thirsty for too long.

When she started saying let's just have another cigarette together (outside the "normal" routine) because: it'd be nice to share one out on the patio together now, or because it makes her feel closer to me, or any other of the reasons I'd give in. I now realize that I started rationalizing it all using "smoker's logic" like one wouldn't hurt, we've cut down together and that's good, etc. 

Before long, probably about another 4 months or so, we were up to her previous, starting, level. It happened so slowly and I see that my mind was playing all sorts of tricks on me. I was even forced to admit my smoking to friends and family because, at that level, it's impossible to hide it and, believe me, that was very hard to do. I didn't even really see how it happened but it did. She was right and I learned a hard lesson about addiction. 

Now I realize I'm a smoker just like my girlfriend. I hate when she now says "see what I mean?" "see, it's hard to quit, now you know...right?!" Sometimes said with a sly grin! Whenever I try to quit I get very powerful urges (thirst) and can't stop thinking about smoking and it doesn't help that she smokes and, worse, almost encourages me since she likes when we smoke together. I think she may even get a special thrill out of it since I was such a hard line anti-smoker and now am in the same situation as she is. I still find this all so hard to believe, but I have to admit she was right and I was wrong. It isn't easy to quit. And I was wrong about how much she smoked. I now smoke OVER a pack every day, sometimes close to two packs (I still find it hard to admit this) and that's as much as she smokes too, now that I know for sure.

Don't ever start. I learned my lesson the hard way.teechau said: i hate smokers
my sister dated a smoker and at first she tried to make him quit, and now he turned her into a smoker too.
shameful -.-"

[damyoungji]

I would never date a man who smokes, let alone do drugs.
Some can say that it is not that much of a problem since it does not describe how someone is, but I find both of them rather unattractive. I wouldn't want to be caught up in a relationship with someone who is or has a high chance of becoming addicted to drugs. As for smoking itself, I dislike the smell and it is a serious turn off for me. I have coworkers who smoke and whenever I use a phone after they have used, I cringe. I automatically put on some gloves and use alcoholic wipe on the phone.

[Guest brolissa]

My boyfriend and I both smoke pot daily. We are normal functioning people with stable jobs. We also both have experimented with other drugs, not heroin or coke though.

[egghead_1]

No. I will not date a crack head, meth head or any other type of hard drug users. They are dirty; and most likely a bit mentally unstable.
A cigarette smoker or weed smoker, is acceptable to me. 

[Guest hellopandaluv]

I know I may sound a little strict but I'd never date someone who smoked or did drugs. I really can't stand the smell of cigarettes and I don't like the effects that drugs have on people.

[Guest pleiadian]

smoking gives ucancer so quilt smoking lol