x_intotheblue_x
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Posts posted by x_intotheblue_x
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@fairtaledreamer, after a few months, one should know well enough if they want to pursue a relationship or not and where they stand with a person. In my opinion, based on the limited details... It does not sound to me that he is as invested as you say he was in the beginning. And in a light-hearted manner or not, you gave him the perfect opportunity (even posed it without pressure) to confirm the boundaries and status relationship, which he opted to avoid. However, his flippant response gave you an opening as well. If you really want to clarify just tell him you've decided and ask if he agrees with it. He did, after all, say "You tell me." So, tell him.
Your actions and doubts are not irrational, in my opinion.Personally though, I don't recommend games like pretending indifference. It just lengthens out the situation and can end up wasting your time. Decide how invested YOU are in him and the relationship and that, if this is to become exclusive, is this current situation something you're going to be happy with as a relationship? Because if he has backed off now, I don't think the communication and attentiveness will return after its made exclusive. But the only way to find out would be to address it.
@ra123
That is odd... You said you don't know her very well? Is she someone you only recently met? Is she in your immediate circle of friends? If she is not someone you see or speak with regularly... Then it is odd that she is contacting and updating YOU of all people about her relationship status, in which case I can't help but wonder if this is a "Damsel in Distress" come on... A plea for attention hoping a guy the girl is interested in will swoop in like a white knight to help her in her time of need and comfort her. And not a very well thought out one if it is... I've seen this done before, quite a few times. But usually the girl at least knows the guy pretty well before attempting this, so that they at least have some invested reason to respond to the distress of their friend.
At the very, very least she is trying to make you very aware that she is back on the market...
@LieI agree with @Cherrycream and @J3nnnyPersonally, I think clingy is when a guy has no personal life of his own separate from the girlfriend and relies on her entirely for companionship and does not handle separation and private obligations well. Someone who constantly calls when the girlfriend is out with friends or family, constantly wants to tag along to events where they're not really meant to be, invite themselves to things, don't want the girlfriend socializing without them, ect.
Attentive is more along the lines of showing consideration and thoughtfulness, in my opinion. Offering to carry things for her, opening doors, giving her your coat if you notice she is cold, holding an umbrella for her, taking her hand, buying her a cold drink on a hot day, a warm drink on a cold day, asking about her day (and actually caring to hear about it), complimenting her, noticing a new hair cut or a new outfit, remembering her likes and interests and making use of that knowledge, listening and taking into consideration what she says and revisiting it later. -
@writerstale, initial interest in a person is usually based on vague factors if they don't know the person well. Once they get a stronger impression of someone, that can strengthen or weaken the initial interest.
@Ninshark, this silliness on the part of guys and girls is why I think the modern dating trend is just foolish. It makes more sense to date casually (non-exclusively) until you get to know someone, before dating exclusively. Otherwise it wastes both people's time and gives the wrong impression of one's investment in the potential of the relationship. I would advise that until both individuals get to know each other before making things exclusive... It would make it easier to avoid such awkward and uncomfortable situations as this.
@Fairytaledreamer Personally, I would not waste my time. Guys like that are either playing or don't have the faintest clue what they want. It sounds like he has gotten you to a point he feels comfortable he doesn't have to maintain things, but has a date ready when he is. And it sounds like he has gotten comfortable with that lack of effort and lack of commitment to the situation. There is a slim, slim chance he just doesn't want to take the risk of being rejected by trying to make it exclusive... But given his persistence to begin with and his flippant avoidance of a straight answer when you gave him a perfect opportunity... I doubt it. -
writerstale said: I was at the bus stop today and I saw this tall woman walk by, and it had me wondering. If a guy 5'6-57, the girl is 5'9-5'11, the guy has a most of if not all the traits the girl is looking for in a guy would she date him?
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@J3nnny is right.
When people say communication is the most important thing, they REALLY are NOT kidding.
Honest, open and rational communication (as in non-inflammatory / confrontational, non-jerk wad communication.) is the fastest way to clear up any problems, avoid problems or keep them from becoming much bigger problems.
Given the circumstances you described, I'd have doubts too. But I wouldn't leave those doubts alone to fester into paranoia. Talk to her, don't confront her, talk to her. There is a difference.
Explain that you felt something was off and that you made the poor decision to read her texts, and you're sorry about that. But that the texts raised further doubts for you and you just would like to know where you stand in this situation. Why she doesn't want you and her friends to meet or get to know each other. And explain how that bothers you.
Do not, however, give her an ultimatum about the ex. Never give an ultimatum unless you're prepared to accept the consequences. (So no "Either get rid of your friend or I leave" conversations). And if it is at the point where you WANT to give that ultimatum, honestly its best to skip the ultimatum and just end it. -
Kiribati said: I know it's bad but disregarding the "rule-breaking" of going through your SO's phone without their knowledge...
if you actually found something that makes you uncomfortable - whether it be from text conversations or phone calls - and you ask him/her about it and they tell you a completely different story... how would you approach the situation knowing that they're lying to you, but you're in a strange position because you can't exactly say "ohyababe i went through you phone tehe you're lying" -
livingforhistory said: Creepy is women-speak for an unattractive man who shows interest in her. True or False?
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Irony. said: It’s night right now.
There’s something else you should be doing at the moment.
You ate chicken today.
You are lactose intolerant.
There’s a nearby TV on.
You get along with your neighbors.
Twilight is a horrible series.
You’re hungry right now.
You have worked out today.
Running a mile sounds awful.
You have a job.
You love to bake Christmas cookies.
Your parents are still together.
You woke up before 8 this morning.
Baths are better than showers.
You are 5’5” or shorter.
You hate British accents. (Well... Not hate... But I don't find them appealing)
Victoria’s Secret is a good store.
Cats are better than dogs.
The 90’s sucked.
Your cell phone is right next to you.
Your favorite color is either blue or purple.
Your hair is short.
You are by yourself right now.
The last thing you drank was water.
You’re in your PJ’s right now.
Your hair color is natural. (Not for long, will be dying it again soon)
Fred from Youtube is annoying.
You don’t drink soda.
You are at least 130 lbs.
There’s at least 20$ in your wallet.
It’s cold out.
Orange juice is better than apple juice.
You love someone right now.
Video games are awesome.
Your sheets are white.
You have read works by Shakespeare before.
You’re fat.
You’ve been professionally diagnosed with a psychological disorder.
You know someone in the hospital right now.
You’ve showered today.
You know someone who has beaten cancer.
Sneakers are your favorite shoes to wear.
Chocolate is better than vanilla.
You’re allergic to peanuts.
You’ve never been to New York.
You’ve never been on a varsity sports team.
You want to go to Europe. (I'd like to visit Norway or Iceland. Visiting Germany again would be nice too.)
You’re using a laptop right now.
Plastic surgery is a good idea. (depends on the person, its neither bad nor good.)
Vanilla is the best scent a girl can wear.
You’ve made yourself throw up.
You’ve cheated on someone before.
You have a broken heart at the moment.
Your friends do drugs.
School is too early.
Your nails have nail polish on them right now.
You’re Italian.
You have a tan right now.
You’ve been on a diet before.
You shop in plus sized clothing stores.
Hot Topic is scary.
There are socks on your feet right now.
You’ve used a hair straightener.
Shopping online is easier than shopping in an actual store.
You’re in Verizon’s network.
Cheesecake is delicious.
Your BMI falls into the overweight category.
You have gotten your hair cut in the past month.
Your birthday is within the next 2 months.
You’ve been rejected.
Comedies are better than action films.
Math is the best subject.
You are fluent in more than one language.
You love Greek food.
You consider yourself a picky eater.
You have more than 3 pillows on your bed.
You live with your parents.
You’re happy right now.
You are a high school graduate.
You have a pet cat.
You were born before April 5th, 1991.
You have brown hair.
You have blue eyes.
Your last name is longer than 5 letters long.
You are in a relationship.
You are can count to 20 in another language.
You have studied a foreign language.
You voted in the 2008 presidential election.
You own a vehicle that is older than a 2004.
You have worked 3rd shift.
You have worked in a fast food restaurant.
You drove somewhere that was further than a half hour away today.
You live in New Jersey.
You live in Montana.
You live in Pennsylvania.
Your last name begins with an ‘M’.
Your middle name begins with a ‘C’.
Your first name begins with an ‘S’.
You are older than 19.
You are younger than 16.
You are an only child.
Your parents are divorced.
You have more than one sibling.
You are an Aquarius.
You are a vegetarian.
You have a gym membership.
You are in the military.
You have a relative in the military.
You have been to Canada.
You have been to Mexico.
You have been to Europe.
You are currently enrolled in college/university.
You have done something you told yourself you wouldn’t.
You have braces.
You wear contact lenses. (sometimes, cosmetic ones)
You have a tattoo on your ankle.
You have a tattoo on your wrist.
You have a tattoo on your lower back.
You have a tattoo on your upper arm.
You have a lip piercing. (not wearing anything currently)
You have a tongue piercing. (not wearing anything currently)
You have your nipples pierced.
You have your cartilage pierced.
You have curly hair.
You have received flowers from someone in the last 2 months.
You are engaged.
You are married.
You have children.
You are an aunt or uncle.
Your bedroom walls are blue.
Your bedspread is red.
Your bedroom carpet is beige.
You have been out to eat at a sit-down restaurant in the last week.
You have been drunk in the past 24 hours.
You have lost your virginity before you turned 15.
You are bisexual.
You watch Scrubs.
You watch Jon & Kate Plus 8.
You watch American Idol.
You have been to the movies within the last month.
You have cursed in front of your grandparents.
You had a lunch box with a cartoon character on it when you were little.
You actually pay attention to politics.
You are still waiting for your first kiss.
You have kissed someone within the last week.
You have kissed three or more people this year.
You would kiss the last person you kissed again.
You were told you looked cute today.
You were hugged today.
[One of] your best friends is the opposite sex.
You have paid more than $100 on one item of clothing.
You had a date to prom.
You are a good speller.
You are always on time.
You believe in karma.
You have done something illegal within the last 24 hours.
You have thrown up within the last 6 months.
You have ridden an elevator within the last 3 days.
You have spent the night at someone else’s house within the last 2 weeks.
You have been out of the country within the last year.
You love Chinese food.
You love Italian food.
You love Mexican food.
You love country music. (some...)
You love rap.
You love hip hop. (some)
You love punk rock.
You love hard rock.
You love metal.
You love classic rock.
You love bluegrass. (some)
You love oldies.
You love techno.
You love instrumental music.
You have taken pictures of yourself just because you were bored.
You know someone younger than 10 who passed away.
You have been in a car wreck.
You have had stitches.
You have a parent who is a teacher.
You have a checking account.
You have a debit card.
You have a currently have a $2 bill in your possession.
You have dated someone who was 2 years younger than you.
You have dated someone who was 2 years older than you.
You have broke up with someone for someone else.
You have cheated on someone.
You have been cheated on.
You are Catholic.
You are Mormon.
You are Buddhist.
You are Agnostic.
You wish at 11:11.
You have had your current job for more than 3 months.
You have had your heart broken.
You broke someone else’s heart.
You felt bad about it.
You have an Aunt Karen.
You have an Uncle Bill.
You have a cousin Sarah.
You have a cousin Adam.
You have worked with a Danielle.
You have ridden in a car with a Stephen.
You have hugged a Tiffany.
You have kissed a Blake.
You have had class with a David.
You have had a crush on an Emily.
You have dated a Derek.
You have been neighbors with a Hannah.
You have done something just for the fact that you were old enough to.
You have been to a cemetary at midnight.
You have been a vampire for Halloween.
You have been a witch for Halloween.
You have been a pumpkin for Halloween.
You have stayed up for 48 hours straight.
You have been to Walmart within the last 3 days.
You own a pair of scrubs.
You own a cowboy hat.
You own a leather coat.
You are missing someone right now.
You have been let down recently.
You have had someone you thought you could trust betray you.
You would rather have a one-night stand than a relationship.
You would rather win $500 from the lottery, than guest on a game show.
You have met someone famous. -
I'm 28 now... So no.
But when I was 16/17 I didn't either. I had no curfew and could spend days away from home if I liked. The only terms were I go to school, stay out of trouble and call to check in and let them know I was still breathing. lol -
Its not unusual at all to think in alternate languages other than your root language. Just the same as, in learning a new language, you may inadvertently use a word or phrase not of your root language without thinking about it. Especially if you've begun to use the words or language regularly.
For example, I've been learning Korean and have limited background in Japanese and Spanish. My first language is English. Probably 90% of my thinking is in English, but context and meaning of my thoughts can result in my thinking or instinctively using words or phrases in Korea, Japanese or Spanish. Sometimes your first language won't easily provide the right depth or meaning that you're looking for, while another language may. Or frequency of use can cause you to unintentionally switching out words or phrases in your native language, for words you use frequently in another language. For example, I slip up and use the Korean words for "Where, why, what, how much, no, yes, you/Hey, ect" because I've been using them with such increasing frequency that they're little more than an expansion of my normal vocabulary.
An individual's linguistic skills & vocabulary is a constantly evolving thing and we're always learning to adapt our speech patterns to contextual situations and adding to our vocabulary, even in our native language. Saying one can't naturally begin to think in a foreign language they are learning or are fairly fluent in is like saying its unnatural for someone to think using words and phrases in their native language they've only recently learned. -
Yes & No...
I like hunting, camping, fishing, four-wheelers, horse back riding, mud-bogging, climbing trees, getting dirty and all that... And I've always gotten on better with guys, so had mostly guy friends.
But... I also like girly stuff. Hair, nails, clothes, shopping, ect.
I don't like chores though... I'd much rather muck a stall than do dishes or mop a floor... -
Plastic Surgery is really common here in Korea... But who cares? People change things about their image all the time.
Wear a push up bra? Have you gotten your teeth chemically whitened? Gotten braces? Dental caps or veneers? Dyed your hair? Permed your hair? Used hair curlers? Hair extentions? Cut it into an un-natural style? Worn heels or lifts? Taken diet pills? Wear contacts? Glasses? Pierced your ears? Gotten a tattoo? Wear make up?
If so, you've done something to change your natural appearance. People who get plastic surgery have just decided to change something that takes a bit more work to change. But they're no more "fake" than the girl at the mall who had braces as a kid, is wearing contacts, make up, heels and a push up bra.
I seriously don't get why people make such a big deal out of it. -
Tea tree oil, imo, is best used as a spot treatment for acne as it will essentially breakdown and dissolve pus & fluid under the skin. It isn't really suited to being used as a main ingredient in face care products due to its very astringent and drying nature, and because its an oil... Its great for cleaning small injuries, great for spot treating areas packed with pus or fluid, like pimples or small abscesses... But generally not that great as a key ingredient in face care or hair products. I keep a small bottle of Tea Tree essential oil and apply it with a q-tip as needed. But thats it.
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Pistol Annies:
On a Southern kick today. -
^^ Thanks for the grocery store tip. I'll put that to use. And thank you for the restaurant recommendation, I'll check them out next time I go to Seoul.
I also forgot to add this con:
Not all restrooms provide toilet paper in the stalls here. Sometimes there is one or two Toilet Paper holders in the bathroom hall, outside of the stalls and sometimes you have to buy it from a vending machine. Its a VERY good idea to always carry around portable tissue packets which can be purchased pretty much everywhere.
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I would be terrified of visiting North Korea, I'm not even comfortable with the idea of touring the DMZ zone. I don't trust North Korean government and personnel, at all. They have a history of irratic and irrational behavior... And the way they treat their own people... Why give them the extra income tourism provides? Its not like its going to be used to help their people. And its not like you'll be getting a full glimpse of what goes on in North Korea, their tourist areas are supervised and strictly monitored and staged.
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Why were you anti-social for most of your teen life and how do you suddenly get out of being anti-social?
Most people that are crazy doesn't just go uncrazy.
Anti-social and crazy are two entirely different things. Anti-social simply means one isn't likely to hang out in huge crowds and values privacy or just has no desire at to seek out interaction for whatever reason. I tend to be anti-social and for the most part keep my private life completely separate from my social life. And I am sparing with my social outtings, I don't like hanging out with people 24/7 or even on a very regular basis and am selective with who I do hang out with even semi-regularly. I use to be much, much more social and liked to hang out, club and party regularly. It just became tiring and solitude is much less stressful and involves much less drama.
Even in regards to Anti-Social Personality Disorder, I wouldn't go so far as to call the individual crazy... Many are perfectly sane, just not perfectly ethical or moral in nature... And most of those who have the disorder... Are actually very socially adept (heck, charm and social graces are actually a symptom. )
Some of the craziest, sociopathic nutcases I've ever known were very, very, VERY social.
Many serial killers were described by friends, neighbors and family as being normal, social, friendly and never giving any indication of their other activities. Even if the Killer themselves professed a lack of understanding or personal disinterest in those same social relations. Bundy, for example, was considered very charismatic. And according to high-school friends was very social and well-liked. He studied Psychology in school, was an honor student and was liked by his professors, maintained romantic relationships, worked with a retired police officer without raising suspicions, that same ex-officer and crime novelist considered him as a kind, empathetic guy.
Many other serial killers have been described similarly.
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PROs:
* Korea takes convenience into consideration for just about EVERYTHING. Whether its special bags for your umbrellas when you enter a store, special escalators that take you buggy full of goods to the next floor or bike ramps on subway station stair cases or coin lockers at the front of stores... They've got it covered.
* Food is EVERYWHERE, with generous portions and fairly cheap. And just about every variety you can think of. I could eat a different ethnic cuisine every night for nearly two weeks without ever needing to grab a cab or hop on the train. And many are open until late or early morning. Heck, McDs delivers 24/7.
* Public Transportation is very, very convenient and fairly cheap.
* Haggling is accepted at most shop stalls, markets and privately owned shops. Even on furniture. And most big items include free same day delivery. And customer loyalty often does not go unnoticed.
* The store promotions & freebies are great. I admit I space out my Etude House purchases just to get the extra freebies... >.>
* The shopping here is amazing beyond words...
* They have some really cool foods out here. Like Sweet potato stuffed crust pizzas and sweet potato lattes.
* Convenience stores are great. And Kimbap rolls for 1,000 won? YES! Saves my wrists from getting killed making a full batch of rolls and CHEAPER than making it at home to boot!
CONs:
* It tends to be a bit dirty, lots of litter. And Public trashcans are few and far between, despite the high levels of pedestrian waste.
* The drivers out here are NUTS, if you didn't know better you'd think there were zero traffic laws. And according to some Korean taxi drivers... There aren't. Some Taxi drivers could seriously moonlight as action flick stunt drivers, I kid you not. We had one Taxi driver complaining about another driver in front of him... The taxi driver turned to my Husband and was like "He can't drive! He must be North Korean..." No, seriously.
* While pets seem to be becoming very popular, pet care is waaaaay behind here. Its easier to find a wide variety of pet accessories, like dog clothes, than it is to find pet necessities, like quality food, shampoos, leashes, collars and litter boxes. I did manage to find a tiny cat store that carried orijen, so at least my cat will still be well fed with a food I am comfortable with and I can get her litter on base, but I am having my mom send me some other products for her from the states. And animal welfare is still a fairly novel thing here. Most of the local pet owners here let their dogs roam (without collars or supervision) during the day. A lot of the local Americans mistake them as strays.
* A lot of shops don't allow you to try on clothing and don't take returns.
* Sushi... Erm... I've never had such horrid sushi rolls... The Kimbap is amazing out here... But they put together some bizarre sushi rolls... Like salmon with barbecue and soy sauce and avacodo and cream cheese. I'm hoping its just the local sushi joints that are that bizarre.
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ETA: Regarding the "Black Out" talk on the previous page. In my experience, I think it has more to do with the TYPES of alcohol one drinks, rather than the amount. For example, I blacked out after mixing Sake and red wine... That was a weeeeiiiirrrrddd morning... and again when mixing Russian tropics, red wine and some Gin mix I don't remember drinking. And having talked with friends, most of them experienced black outs only when mixing certain alcohols.
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I would say Paris Baquette is famous here. I see them everywhere, but I haven't tried them yet. So far I've been trying lots of privately independent coffee shops. But I've heard they're really good.
Don't be afraid to try street vendor food, it may not seem like the most hygienic choice, but the vendor foods are delicious. I love the fish paste and broth, and in Suwon station I tried this snack that was like five different types of fish cake on a stick that had a really spicy sauce and a line of some sort of sweet aoli type mayo on top... It was amazing. I've been fiending for it non-stop but haven't found anywhere local that does them yet. If you see it, I really recommend trying it. There is a lot to see and do here, but I really think one of my favorite things is just trying as many new foods as I can find (and so far, food has been really cheap. Especially vendor foods).
Co-ex mall is a shopping mall attached to Samseung station, there is also an Aquarium there. Seoul also has some really cool art museums (including interactive 3d art) and there is apparently a dinosaur expo going on as well.
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Am I the only one that started to wonder about his "GDragon" nickname once I realized he has a Dragon Ball tattoo?
Which, I was actually pretty thrilled to see. lol
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Most of my funds goes to:
Cat & Foster Dog
Eating out: Trying new restaurants and food
Cute stuff for the house
Stationary, swapping & postage
clothing & make up.
Hubby leans more towards games and neat accessories
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Before coming, try practicing some basic Korean phrases. It really makes a huge difference I think. I've only been here a couple weeks now, but this is my experience thus far:
Some of the other foreigners I've met are rather... Crass and rude and make no effort to be friendly to Koreans, and the service and welcome they get tends to reflect it.
But I try to be really polite and use "Annyeong Haseo, Annyoeng keseyo, Kamsahamnida, Gomapsumnida, chesuhamnida and other phrases and try to remember bowing... And I've gotten a much warmer welcome than some of my other foreign acquaintances (even when entering and shopping / eating at the same time...) I've gotten better deals at shops, extra food, extra service, hugs and compliments... For example, the ahjussi that runs the hotel used his van to help us move our stuff to our new apartment. My favorite street vendor lady gives me extra food when ever I buy something from her.
The way you treat others really will make a difference, and everyone is really friendly and helpful here if you're respectful and friendly to them.
BUT! Be careful of Taxis... Some are really good (the ones you get the numbers for at the airport and bus station tend to have fair rates and try to get you from point A to point B as quickly as possible). But there are others I call "sharks". I think they are maybe privately owned? But their rates are insane and they try to take weird routes to lengthen the time. So far, the only noticeable difference is the "sharks" vehicles are not as well maintained? And all the good ones I've used have ALL been well maintained, clean, sleek black cars. The Sharks so far have mostly been older, not so clean, white or yellow vehicles. The good drivers are speed demons and aggressive drivers. The sharks tend to drive slow and pretend to be overly cautious (to increase the fares). You can also ask a taxi driver to give you a quote of how much it will cost to get to the destination, so far all the drivers I've heard of or used this with stopped the fare meter at the quote. So even if it would have been more, they didn't charge the difference.
I'm in Songtan though, and I haven't used taxis in Seoul yet. Mileage may vary. lol
And try everything! The food here is amazing! And the coffee shops and bakeries are incredible.
And check out the co-ex mall at the samseung station in Seoul!
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Followed 10!
Mine is rather new and can be found here:
http://strawberrygumiho.blogspot.com/
Please stop by some time.
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- name: Danielle
- gender: Female
- age: 26
- location: Songtan
- ethnicity: Caucasian
- interests: Arts & Crafts, coffee shops, food, pen pals & swapping, learning languages, exploring, animals, animal training, kdramas, trying new things.
- links:
* Blogspot Personal: http://strawberrygumiho.blogspot.com/
* Blogspot Korea only: http://mechanicallookingglass.blogspot.com/
* skype: myalicefair
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How about cheap paper doilies? And cheap film? Online?
The dollar store / dollar tree / family dollar carries paper lace doilies. Often in the holiday, wedding or party favor sections.
Ask The Ladies - Read First Post
in soompi hangout
Posted
@fairytaledreamerPersonally, to me 5 months is a pretty long time to be dating the same guy casually...
When you asked him last he said "You tell me" in a joking tone right? So just throw it back at him with "So, I was thinking it over and now I'm telling you: Exclusive. Any complaints?" You can say it in a light hearted manner like you asked the first time.
@CristolepheMuscles are one of those things where its going to depend entirely on the individual woman. I like lean & light muscling, but its actually a *Turn Off* to me if a guy is too built. For example, ever see Big Bangs "Fantastic Baby" video? Taeyang and Daesung have great builds in that video, but they're at the max of what I find attractive in a muscular build. Any more than that and I'd not be keen on it. When it comes to large, muscle loaded guys... I'm actually inclined to prefer a large guy with a husky build over the guy with the muscles.
@Frenchtutor,I don't see why this should bother anyone unless the non-drinker was vocally opposed to drinking entirely. I'm 28 and now heavy / frequent drinkers kind of bore me. I've pretty much lost interest in alcohol entirely these days. But I partied a lot when I was younger and I didn't care then whether or not someone drank comparably to myself (if at all).
@Writerstale,Can you elaborate a bit more?? What kind of hard time is she giving the guy? What kind of experiences is she using as the reason for it? Is she blaming all men for the actions of a few? Or some other situation entirely?