Quantcast
Jump to content

Ask The Ladies - Read First Post


Recommended Posts

Guest severus
On January 24, 2016 at 8:37 PM, rosierosie said:

only for ladies answering only 

if a guy is perfect in all your imagination, but he's stingy, would you still date or marry him?

 

Stingy, like doesn't tip at restaurants/ doesn't even like to pay for his own share/ barely travels and doesn't spend a dime on new experiences when he does/ has 120 thread count sheets/ buys 1-ply toilet paper? 

Likely not. Because that's someone who doesnt have standards for quality of living. Why are you even working so hard, if not to improve living standards? 

Or is your idea of "stingy" just someone who doesn't shower you with gifts, and foots your bill all the time just because you're female? Whole other story. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 11k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

@severus @rosierosie So I went for it. It was pretty nerve-wracking. One of the toughest things I've ever had to do. I was inspired by that saying about all you need is 20 seconds of insane coura

Nah, you just need experience

RUN! RUN FAR AWAY FROM THIS GIRL!!! 1) She had her friends telling you that she liked you, when she had a boyfriend. 2) She got a new boyfriend very quickly after breaking up. 3) She go

i am quite confused today, so bascially we cut down the break time till end of this week whether to stay together or not cause she doesnt know if she still love me anymore and doesn't want to drag it out longer.

After 4 days of not seeing each other, we texted and in the morning and she told me a part of her feels like we're near the ending of our line and she's stressed out with things in life thats piling up on her.So i decided to come over to check on her at night.

We made out alot, lots of kissing and hugging, she still couldnt say " i love you " to me though ,then after all that she said " i think i know what i want now" but she won't tell me and said she'll wait till sunday see how our date goes then tell me, afterward she walk me out to the door we hug andd kiss again hen said bye. When i got home we texted each other for less than 20minutes cause she went sleep and she told me at first she was stressed out when her mum told her i was over but then when we hanged she told me it felt normal. what does that mean? but yeah So during the text, her replies still seem off cause she still couldnt call me baby or say i love you etc on the phone, it felt like we were just chatting like normal people not like a couple way thing? i can't really tell how she feels. We do all the couple thing at her house but when it comes down to saying the loving words she can't say it anymore and texting its just bleh...

Any ideas on what she means or thinking?

Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, thi_mnguyen_at_hotmail.com_stv said:

Any ideas on what she means or thinking?

There's no telling what she means exactly. I wouldn't stick too long with why she doesn't say she loves you or calls you baby though. She's still in a difficult place and has to sort out her emotions. She's not sure what to call you at the moment. It doesn't mean your relationship is already over (though I must admit I think it's a really shitty move to tell you she knows already and still wants to wait till Sunday).

The reason why she says it feels normal is because it was. You've known each other for a long time so she knows what she can expect from you. In a way, you bring balance to her Force :)

You have a date on Sunday. Congratulations :) I guess this is a good time to show her sides of you she hasn't seen before. I'm not saying dark sides where you ritually slaughter a pig to demons for a longer life, but the sides where you surprise her. She knows you, knows what to expect from you. Show her you have other sides to you too and that you're still interesting.

Perhaps @frenchtutor has some other (bright) idea's? :) 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

@thi_mnguyen_at_hotmail.com_stv

 

we all know this is a confusing time for both of you. shes having her own personal issues and sending you mixed signals. however, i believe this is the period in your relationship that you both need renewal and rest. its a good time to look at yourselves than your partner right now. she may have already made her decision already and making this longer than it should and it is not fair for you. however, the amount of time you spend thinking about what shes thinking or what she means by her words will only confuse you and discourage you. take this time to love and heal yourself before sunday comes. i promise after you do so either you will get closure from her or you both will be very happy after this dark triad period.

along with @CamelKnight's suggestion of showing different sides of you, I believe you have one more powerful weapon you may use: a handwritten love letter. dont make it about too much about yourself. write about how you understand what shes going through and that you wish for her to find peace. tell her about some past events you have done together where your love felt fresh. at the end you want to write that you would like to continue the relationship with her (if that is how you truly feel) and also write that you respect her decision if she decides not to (we don't want her to get back with you because of a well written letter right?) writing a letter will help you understand your feelings and relationship better.

if things do turn out well make sure you keep tending to her and keep doing things for her. keep writing letters for her and show her that you care. remember the small things are just as effective as bigger actions of love. if things don't turn out well, you will have to move on. looks like she will be firm with her decision. you seem like a strong person so i know you can get through this whichever path you both may take.

i really wish things turn out well for the both of you. good luck my friend.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
On 1/29/2016 at 6:45 AM, angelangie said:

 

....not paying for meals? even a 3 dollar noodles? hell no....

gas for like 10 dollar also on your bill? no.....

small stuff? movies tickets? parking fees? or? .....

why want to go out with someone who wont at least share parts of the bills with you? there is no diff of being single 

 I agree! why bother to be with someone if you are doing it yourself

Link to post
Share on other sites
On Wednesday, January 27, 2016 at 2:42 AM, rosierosie said:

^good point. i was thinking of stingy in the sense he cares all about himself, like not help paying for meals, gas, and other small stuffs. 

I rather he pay for his own stuff and I pay for mine. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest severus
On January 31, 2016 at 8:48 PM, rosierosie said:

 I agree! why bother to be with someone if you are doing it yourself

 

Now I'm even more confused with your definition of stingy. What's wrong with carrying your own weight/ doing it yourself?

Link to post
Share on other sites

mmmmm, guess this would be an easy one for you guys.

 

At the start of January i went to dinner with an old friend whom i havent seen for like everrrrr. Dinner was awesome, we talked heaps and connected well, both surprised we hadnt hung out sooner.

Anyway, spoke to her about a week and a half after that, mentioned that we should go for dinner again soon, probably end of Feb.

Now, am i rushing things by asking too soon or going to slow or did i shoot myself in the foot by setting some time frame (ie: end of Feb)?

OR am i best just sitting in the carpark at McDonalds destroying a 20 McNuggets while watching the Taylor Swift 1989 concert?

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest severus
53 minutes ago, TRaNz said:

mmmmm, guess this would be an easy one for you guys.

 

At the start of January i went to dinner with an old friend whom i havent seen for like everrrrr. Dinner was awesome, we talked heaps and connected well, both surprised we hadnt hung out sooner.

Anyway, spoke to her about a week and a half after that, mentioned that we should go for dinner again soon, probably end of Feb.

Now, am i rushing things by asking too soon or going to slow or did i shoot myself in the foot by setting some time frame (ie: end of Feb)?

OR am i best just sitting in the carpark at McDonalds destroying a 20 McNuggets while watching the Taylor Swift 1989 concert?

 

 

I feel like you should have aimed for mid January instead...

Link to post
Share on other sites
31 minutes ago, severus said:

 

I feel like you should have aimed for mid January instead...

 I see, now thing was when i mentioned end of Feb, she was like " im still feeling full from the last time ", being i only asked her liek a week and a half after the first time we went out.

seeing how this has gone and your response, i have a feeling she does NOT want to hang again. LOL. didnt even think i was that bad. faaaa, slap to the face mate. haha

Might be a bit upfront and just get her to come out for lunCh instead in the coming weeks, if that doesnt work or fails....than.......

its a solo carpark sesh with 20 McNuggets for me for quite some time. hahaha

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest severus
21 minutes ago, TRaNz said:

 I see, now thing was when i mentioned end of Feb, she was like " im still feeling full from the last time ", being i only asked her liek a week and a half after the first time we went out.

seeing how this has gone and your response, i have a feeling she does NOT want to hang again. LOL. didnt even think i was that bad. faaaa, slap to the face mate. haha

Might be a bit upfront and just get her to come out for lunCh instead in the coming weeks, if that doesnt work or fails....than.......

its a solo carpark sesh with 20 McNuggets for me for quite some time. hahaha

 

Hahahhah, I'm sorry that was very funny to read.

"I'm still feeling full from a week and a half ago, will feel full for another month. Maybe we'll hang out next year, who knows when I'll be hungry?" is what I think she's saying. But I may be wrong. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, severus said:

 

Hahahhah, I'm sorry that was very funny to read.

"I'm still feeling full from a week and a half ago, will feel full for another month. Maybe we'll hang out next year, who knows when I'll be hungry?" is what I think she's saying. But I may be wrong. 

 

bbaaaaddd ayee, worst. LOL. few of my friends i told said the same thing, like.....how the heck can you be full from one dinner outing for like a month. hahaha.

goodLOLs.

Link to post
Share on other sites
17 hours ago, TRaNz said:

" im still feeling full from the last time "

I agree with @severus here (for some reason, that tends to happen more often these days...). 

The catching up was nice for her too, but she's not interested. You're a casual friend, no more than that, unfortunately. 

Whenever you ask a girl out for a second date, don't aim for 2 months later. Make it a week or two later, tops. She needs to remember you, you know :) It won't help if the image she's got in her head about you and your dinner together, has already crumbled, vagued out and been replaced with other memories.
You're interested in her, you should show that interest. By asking her for a second date 2 months later will only tell her you're not that interested in her or make her confused to say the least. Unless you've got a good reason like you're being shipped to some far off country, or something.

Best would've been to just tell her at the end of that dinner that you enjoyed it and would love to do it again. Most likely she'll answer something like "yeah, we should", in which case you should come back with "okay, I'll reserve a different restaurant for next friday/saturday at 7 pm. I'll pick you up at 6.30.". Don't give her (much) room to get out off her previous statement.
If she replies with "Sorry, I can't", you ask what day and time suits her best. If she's reluctant to tell you, you're not interesting enough for her. Otherwise, she'll immediately give you a different date and time that do suit her (or she'll get back to you).

Ah well, lesson learned I guess :)
 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
On 2/6/2016 at 10:07 AM, severus said:

 

Now I'm even more confused with your definition of stingy. What's wrong with carrying your own weight/ doing it yourself?

 

of course there's nothing wrong with paying for your own stuff etc. what I'm trying to say is that if you meet a guy who isn't very considerate to your needs or even your family for that matter then maybe he's not the one for you, or you're not the one for him. for example, dating a guy who's basically a freeloader which makes him stingy in this sense

On 2/8/2016 at 6:27 PM, TRaNz said:

mmmmm, guess this would be an easy one for you guys.

 

At the start of January i went to dinner with an old friend whom i havent seen for like everrrrr. Dinner was awesome, we talked heaps and connected well, both surprised we hadnt hung out sooner.

Anyway, spoke to her about a week and a half after that, mentioned that we should go for dinner again soon, probably end of Feb.

Now, am i rushing things by asking too soon or going to slow or did i shoot myself in the foot by setting some time frame (ie: end of Feb)?

OR am i best just sitting in the carpark at McDonalds destroying a 20 McNuggets while watching the Taylor Swift 1989 concert?

 

 

well usually some girls like it if you let them know one-two week notice if you can see them again. but by the way she told you, it looks like she's not up for dating anymore. if you still like to hangout with her, then make it clear to her you're only hanging out with her as friends only. this way, you don't have to pay for her food etc

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, CamelKnight said:

I agree with @severus here (for some reason, that tends to happen more often these days...). 

The catching up was nice for her too, but she's not interested. You're a casual friend, no more than that, unfortunately. 

Whenever you ask a girl out for a second date, don't aim for 2 months later. Make it a week or two later, tops. She needs to remember you, you know :) It won't help if the image she's got in her head about you and your dinner together, has already crumbled, vagued out and been replaced with other memories.
You're interested in her, you should show that interest. By asking her for a second date 2 months later will only tell her you're not that interested in her or make her confused to say the least. Unless you've got a good reason like you're being shipped to some far off country, or something.

Best would've been to just tell her at the end of that dinner that you enjoyed it and would love to do it again. Most likely she'll answer something like "yeah, we should", in which case you should come back with "okay, I'll reserve a different restaurant for next friday/saturday at 7 pm. I'll pick you up at 6.30.". Don't give her (much) room to get out off her previous statement.
If she replies with "Sorry, I can't", you ask what day and time suits her best. If she's reluctant to tell you, you're not interesting enough for her. Otherwise, she'll immediately give you a different date and time that do suit her (or she'll get back to you).

Ah well, lesson learned I guess :)
 

 

2 hours ago, rosierosie said:

 

of course there's nothing wrong with paying for your own stuff etc. what I'm trying to say is that if you meet a guy who isn't very considerate to your needs or even your family for that matter then maybe he's not the one for you, or you're not the one for him. for example, dating a guy who's basically a freeloader which makes him stingy in this sense

 

well usually some girls like it if you let them know one-two week notice if you can see them again. but by the way she told you, it looks like she's not up for dating anymore. if you still like to hangout with her, then make it clear to her you're only hanging out with her as friends only. this way, you don't have to pay for her food etc

 

 

yeah i see, its odd, but then i suck aye. well at least i know not to drop my guards and only see her as a friend since its wayyyyy in the beginning and not too far in.

She messaged me today about a really fancy pretty restaurant to check out before it relocates interstate.......so i asked if she would go with me, she agreed so thats cool.

But yeah that being said, i will only see it as friends, wont let myself go. haha.

Thanks guys.

 

man reading back a few posts, feel pretty stupid to let it slide that long aye....man i suck at this business. hahahahahaha

Link to post
Share on other sites

^ it's okay practice makes perfect. who knows maybe she'll like you more as you hang out with her...but yes, don't let your guards down. it's a good sign she ask you out to dinner again whether as friends or not. girls usually don't ask out a guy unless she has some interest in him or she likes him as a friend

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

1. what's the height cutoff that you would date for an asian guy? (specifically korean if that matters, i'm aware the average korean is taller than chinese)

2. how tall are you?

3. do you care that the guy is just 3-5 inches taller than you or do you want him to be a specific height, llike >= 5'10" or >= 6'0"

Edited by curiousgoat
Link to post
Share on other sites
20 hours ago, curiousgoat said:

1. what's the height cutoff that you would date for an asian guy? (specifically korean if that matters, i'm aware the average korean is taller than chinese)

2. how tall are you?

3. do you care that the guy is just 3-5 inches taller than you or do you want him to be a specific height, llike >= 5'10" or >= 6'0"

 

height is very subjective to all people. just be a kind, humble being then you'll be fine

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Guest pinned this topic

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...