Ask The Ladies - Read First Post

[Guest cristolephe]

Hi everyone,
Yesterday I confessed to a girl and she said "Aw, that's nice of you" and gave me a hug. Then I realized she interpreted it as good friends like. Should I just pretend nothing happened and continue being good friends? I'm not going to see her since we're going to different schools.

[Guest j3nnnny]

cristolephe said: Hi everyone,
Yesterday I confessed to a girl and she said "Aw, that's nice of you" and gave me a hug. Then I realized she interpreted it as good friends like. Should I just pretend nothing happened and continue being good friends? I'm not going to see her since we're going to different schools.

[Guest cristolephe]

j3nnnny

said:

cristolephe

said: Hi everyone,

Yesterday I confessed to a girl and she said "Aw, that's nice of you" and gave me a hug. Then I realized she interpreted it as good friends like. Should I just pretend nothing happened and continue being good friends? I'm not going to see her since we're going to different schools.

[raymondc27]

how would you feel if you saw your ex in another country?

[halfmoonsmile]

@cristolephe
Based on that conversation, it doesn't seem like she understood the true meaning behind your words.

[riti89]

@raymondc27
If I was in the same country as them and if we ended things on a good note: Cool! maybe get lunch sometime to catch up
If I was not in the same country and we ended things on a good note: Wow! I hope they have a fantastic time!
If I was in the same country and things did NOT end up well: Really? REALLY? Is this really happening? If I was not in the same country and things did NOT end up well: Thank goodness! 

[inxomnia]

raymondc27 said: how would you feel if you saw your ex in another country?

[speak without my voice]

raymondc27 said: how would you feel if you saw your ex in another country?

[livingforhistory]

So I might be going on a vacation trip with friends later in the year.

While planning out the hotel rooms and things like that, I've discovered that I've kinda become the lone wolf.  I'm not going with all couples or anything. I'm good friends with some of them and not particularly close with the others.

The guy friend I was planning to room with, one of the girls in the group wants to room with him instead. They're not dating or anything but she and him are closer friends. One of the other girls, if her boyfriend can't come, she wants to room with them too. So both girls want to room with my guy friend, leaving me out.

My other friends who are going are couples and will be staying together. So this leaves me as a 7th wheel pretty much.

Why is it that the other two girls are comfortable staying with my friend but no one wants to share with me?

It's not like I'm some perv. I'm not even attracted to either of them. They've known me for awhile and know I'm not that kinda person.

I get the vibe they're just not comfortable with me.

I feel kinda bad now and may not want to go anymore.

Should I still go?

[Ninshark]

livingforhistory said:I feel kinda bad now and may not want to go anymore.

Should I still go?

[Guest x0ny]

@livingforhistory
so youre saying...you will have a room to yourself that will be available to having guests ;) that you could meet? I dont see what's wrong with this situation.

[radiocat]

What differentiates an Alpha-male from a chauvinistic guy?

[Guest I_play_with_dolls]

radiocat said: What differentiates an Alpha-male from a chauvinistic guy?

[radiocat]

I_play_with_dolls said: radiocat said: What differentiates an Alpha-male from a chauvinistic guy?

[raymondc27]

So I might be going on a vacation trip with friends later in the year.

While planning out the hotel rooms and things like that, I've discovered that I've kinda become the lone wolf.  I'm not going with all couples or anything. I'm good friends with some of them and not particularly close with the others.

The guy friend I was planning to room with, one of the girls in the group wants to room with him instead. They're not dating or anything but she and him are closer friends. One of the other girls, if her boyfriend can't come, she wants to room with them too. So both girls want to room with my guy friend, leaving me out.

My other friends who are going are couples and will be staying together. So this leaves me as a 7th wheel pretty much.

Why is it that the other two girls are comfortable staying with my friend but no one wants to share with me?

It's not like I'm some perv. I'm not even attracted to either of them. They've known me for awhile and know I'm not that kinda person.

I get the vibe they're just not comfortable with me.

I feel kinda bad now and may not want to go anymore.

Should I still go?

[Guest chibi_chibi]

Lol, guys, are you trying to over throw us ladies in this thread?

@livingforhistory:: Just go and have fun! I'm sure she chose to stay with the guy friend because she is closer to him. The girl who have a boyfriend of course will prefer to stay with another female, if her boyfriend isn't there. Do you think her boyfriend will be comfortable with her staying with another guy on a trip? Trust or no trust, it's just disrespectful to the boyfriend if she rooms with another guy alone. So, it's not that they both want to room with your friend. It's one girl wants to room with him, and the other girl wants to room with the girl who is rooming with him. If they stay with him then they stay with him, or you could suggest the girls stay together and you room with your friend. Either way, you're going to have fun with your friends that you're close to on the trip, not worry about why you're rooming alone. So don't worry about things that you have no control over and enjoy your vacation!! I would actually prefer sleeping alone, so much more privacy and privileges to room by yourself   BUT please don't go if you think that you're not going to be able to have fun and will have this thought in your head the whole trip. You'll be wasting money that way. Think of all the fun you'll have and don't think about anything else.

@radiocat:: http://www.chadhowsefitness.com/blog/2012/11/25-characteristics-of-an-alpha-male/ I think this is pretty accurate characteristics of an Alpha male in my opinion. Chauvinistic guy are just guys who think that by belittling others, it makes them alpha. They also feel that they have to constantly prove their worth to society, where as Alphas already know their worth and has nothing to prove to anyone but themselves. Much of what makes an Alpha male an alpha is dormant underneath his exterior where as a chauvinistic guy will try to demonstrate his "prowess" any chance he gets.

  

[halfmoonsmile]

radiocat said: What differentiates an Alpha-male from a chauvinistic guy?

[Ninshark]

@livingforhistory

I guess it's obvious looking at my post compared to others, but I really disagree with everything the girls are saying. I highly doubt any has been in your situation, it's must less likely for a girl to be left out than a guy. Plus, I firmly believe it to be IMPOSSIBLE to "just go have fun" with "friends" when that's how you feel about the situation, whether your feeling is right or wrong. If you're right, then that just sucks, and if you're wrong about your feeling, then someone needs to clear things up for you- likely not going to happen. Anyway, hope you figure out everything alright yourself. @x0ny has the right idea, turning a bad situation into a positive thing. but then again, this is ask the ladies thread *walks away.

[Guest moonshinechance]

@livingforhistory‌ - that sounds like a upsetting situation... it must be terrible to feel like you're not wanted. Have you thought about why it is that you seem not to be popular in the groups you're in? From your posts you sound like a pretty normal and intelligent guy, the only thing I can think of is maybe you think a bit too deeply about things and overanalyse? Do you ever do anything that would make those girls uncomfortable? Maybe you seem a bit too "intense" and not easy going enough?

I kind of know how you feel I used to feel like that when I was in high school, I felt like I was kinda the dork in the group whereas there was this one other girl who was really popular and all the girls used to fight to want to be best friends with her, whereas I'd kind of be last picked within the group to be roommates with at camp. It was hard admitting it in high school but I kinda owned up to it and realised it was really my own problem so I kinda went through this period of thinking what would J(her name) do if she was in my position? I realised that she was generous with sharing her things, not stingy about money, neat and organised, didn't really say bad things about other people, and kind of always chilled/relaxed but friendly. She didn't give off that "desperate" please be friends with me vibe. If she came to class late and ended up having to sit by herself - then everybody knew it was just because she'd come late and not because of any other reason. She knew too and wasn't bothered. So I just tried to adopt that attitude when I went to college. It was kinda hard at first but I definitely made more friends than I did in high school, but it wasn't an overnight change for sure. Now I'm known for having a good personality and hehe just to boast a little (it is the internet...) I remet up with J now and it's being a few years, and I definitely overestimated how perfect she was. Everybody is just human but it's always good to have a kind of ideal person that you wanna me (which I kinda ascribed to her) and try your best to be that person. Anyway that's just an example from me, have a look at yourself and be critical and be honest and see if there's anyone if your life that people like a lot (especially other guys.. not just girls) and try to evaluate how he and you would respond differently in situations and see if there's anything you can improve.

It's easy to say I dont' wanna change who I am... but it's okay I think to want to be a better version of yourself. Don't change your values or morals but for everyday habits, there's always room for improvement

[Guest chibi_chibi]

@Ninshark:: You really can't compare your situation with his... Everyone's situation is different despite how similar it can get. You felt that way with your group of "friends". He's only experiencing this with two girls (who he's not even close to) on the trip... So how is the situation the same? Unless he feels this way with the whole group he's going with, which, he didn't mention. Like I said, rooming by yourself has so much more REWARDS than sharing it. Also, it's not just the girls who are saying he should go.. The guys are too.

You're right, I, personally have never had that happened. Why? Because I don't let it happen. I don't have friends who treat me that way, ever, because those aren't "friends"... Why the heck would I commit my friendship to people who only "allows" me to be friends with them? I certainly don't need/want that type of "friends". I'm sorry, but my friendship is just as valuable as the next person's. Why would I stay friends with people who aren't worth my time? If they don't think of your friendship highly, then why continue "investing"(more like wasting) time with them? I rather find friends who are actually worth keeping and can enrich my life. The more time you spend on the "friends" who are friends with you just to be "nice", the more time you don't get to spend with real friends who are genuine with their friendship.