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livingforhistory

said: Serious question for the ladies.



I got rejected on a dating site recently. I messaged this girl who I felt would be compatible with me. I'm going to be very blunt here. She's not pretty. But I thought from reading her profile, she and I would get along personality-wise. I'm making a conscious effort to lower my standards in terms of physical beauty and going more for compatibility. Obviously I know nothing about this girl but I had a feeling she and I would get along on that level. I'm not a handsome guy myself. I'm just an average guy but I feel overall I'm a good person. At least my friends and colleagues think so.



Anyhow, I sent her a nice and polite message and she turned me down. She said she was flattered but she doesn't think we'd be compatible. And that's it.



I don't get it.


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radiocat said: Hey brahh i know i am not a lady but i feel like giving you my 2cents. Generally girls that rely on dating sites are either too lazy to meet people in real life or are unrealistic in the expectations. Moreover, you mentioned she is "not pretty" which pretty much syncs with having more unrealistic expectations on dating sites. Personally i feel dating sites are only good for light flirting, i dont think any serious ladies would commit to it unless they have other motives otherwise, or have some social issues with themselves like being too busy with work.

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nyckira said: In some threads you denounce women who rely on looks too much and now you yourself are judging her, correlating her own looks with her choosing ability.  Also, how do you know she rejected you based on looks?  Maybe she has some hatred for your occupation, or something about your hobbies tells her you wont click, or maybe she is overrun with work and doesnt want to get into anything for a few weeks unless the person is her dream match (dating website standby mode vs active mode).  Maybe she has a preference for white guys or athletic guys or tall guys, etc...

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Guest chibi_chibi

@johnpatric:: Girls like "bad boys" because they want to be that one exception in his life. She fantasize about reforming said "bad boy" and be the girl that he "changed" for. I'm speaking from experience in saying that they never change for anyone. It's all in the process of growing up. They will have to come to terms on their own that they're living an empty life and want to change for their own benefit. Other then that, they're fun to be around, they have this hard to pin charm and charisma. Plus they USUALLY have a killer smile. They can also sweet talk their way out of a lot of things. I think it's common for a lot of girls to go through that phase of wanting to reform a "bad boy" and after realizing what they truly want in a MAN, the girls grow up into women looking for a GOOD MAN and not a girl looking to change a "bad boy".

@livingforhistory:: Stop looking at females like a conquest and maybe you'll actually score. I'm sorry but you sound so arrogant... "I had to lower my standard" give me a freaken break... She wasn't attractive to you does not make her unattractive to other people. What made you so special that you had to "lower your standard" to actually asked her for a date, like she's waiting for you to. It's that type of thinking that's ending you in nowomanland. Did you even talk to her first before making the assumption that since you've scored dates with "more attractive" girls, she would automatically say yes? It gets really creepy for girls on dating website and without getting to talk to a guy through messages to prove that she's not talking to a psycho why would she meet you? It takes a friend of mine a month or two of talking through the site to even give them her number, let a lone meet them. If your current strategy isn't working, try a different one. Just don't approach a girl with the thought "I'm lowering my standard for this girl, so she should accept my offer" because EVERYONE has standards and maybe you don't meet hers. You don't know why she rejected you so don't assume it's this, or that, it's not this, not that... Maybe, you should conduct a survey from all the girls who said no to you to figure out why they said no. Good luck!

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Guest omgitscrystal

Are y'all fine if your bf text you else almost 9 hours later and not replying to your previous text if he's out with other guy friends? I think I'm too overly attached :-S :-<

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Guest Kerriganton

livingforhistory said: Serious question for the ladies.

I got rejected on a dating site recently. I messaged this girl who I felt would be compatible with me. I'm going to be very blunt here. She's not pretty. But I thought from reading her profile, she and I would get along personality-wise. I'm making a conscious effort to lower my standards in terms of physical beauty and going more for compatibility. Obviously I know nothing about this girl but I had a feeling she and I would get along on that level. I'm not a handsome guy myself. I'm just an average guy but I feel overall I'm a good person. At least my friends and colleagues think so.

Anyhow, I sent her a nice and polite message and she turned me down. She said she was flattered but she doesn't think we'd be compatible. And that's it.

I don't get it.

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Guest j3nnnny

TRaNz said: So im in this period where this girl and I arent talking due to an incident ( nothing overly major ), but yeah we arent talking. But after 2.5months she texts 'hello'...thats it....so i responded with a 'hi, how are you?' she replied with 'yeah, work is crazy, how are you?' and i decided to not continue with a question this time since in the past ive mainly been the one to initiate and continue the convos with other talk. So i just said 'yeah im just about alright'. andddd of course no reply........whats that supposed to mean? like is she just checking to see im alive or something?
Its been another 1.5 months after that and no words have been said. Should i be waiting around for her to say something a bit more than that or am i just letting myself get more hurt over time waiting?

Like, after 2.5 months of no communication, wouldnt it be i dunno, umm proper to start with a 'Hi how have you been?' rather than just a 'hello' ?

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Guest I_play_with_dolls

omgitscrystal said: Are y'all fine if your bf text you else almost 9 hours later and not replying to your previous text if he's out with other guy friends? I think I'm too overly attached :-S :-<

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j3nnnny said: TRaNz said: So im in this period where this girl and I arent talking due to an incident ( nothing overly major ), but yeah we arent talking. But after 2.5months she texts 'hello'...thats it....so i responded with a 'hi, how are you?' she replied with 'yeah, work is crazy, how are you?' and i decided to not continue with a question this time since in the past ive mainly been the one to initiate and continue the convos with other talk. So i just said 'yeah im just about alright'. andddd of course no reply........whats that supposed to mean? like is she just checking to see im alive or something?
Its been another 1.5 months after that and no words have been said. Should i be waiting around for her to say something a bit more than that or am i just letting myself get more hurt over time waiting?

Like, after 2.5 months of no communication, wouldnt it be i dunno, umm proper to start with a 'Hi how have you been?' rather than just a 'hello' ?

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Ladies...how to you generally break the ice with a girl that is conservative and extremely shy? I feel like every time I speak to this person I'm finding myself talking with her in a professional manner. She seems like the type that's not really good with interpersonal relationships. How does a guy like myself read hints that she has any interest in me? 

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Guest [ knockOUT ]

ra123 said: Ladies...how to you generally break the ice with a girl that is conservative and extremely shy? I feel like every time I speak to this person I'm finding myself talking with her in a professional manner. She seems like the type that's not really good with interpersonal relationships. How does a guy like myself read hints that she has any interest in me? 

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Guest j3nnnny

ra123 said: Ladies...how to you generally break the ice with a girl that is conservative and extremely shy? I feel like every time I speak to this person I'm finding myself talking with her in a professional manner. She seems like the type that's not really good with interpersonal relationships. How does a guy like myself read hints that she has any interest in me? 

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Guest chibi_chibi

TRaNz said: j3nnnny said: TRaNz said: So im in this period where this girl and I arent talking due to an incident ( nothing overly major ), but yeah we arent talking. But after 2.5months she texts 'hello'...thats it....so i responded with a 'hi, how are you?' she replied with 'yeah, work is crazy, how are you?' and i decided to not continue with a question this time since in the past ive mainly been the one to initiate and continue the convos with other talk. So i just said 'yeah im just about alright'. andddd of course no reply........whats that supposed to mean? like is she just checking to see im alive or something?
Its been another 1.5 months after that and no words have been said. Should i be waiting around for her to say something a bit more than that or am i just letting myself get more hurt over time waiting?

Like, after 2.5 months of no communication, wouldnt it be i dunno, umm proper to start with a 'Hi how have you been?' rather than just a 'hello' ?

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ra123 said: Ladies...how to you generally break the ice with a girl that is conservative and extremely shy? I feel like every time I speak to this person I'm finding myself talking with her in a professional manner. She seems like the type that's not really good with interpersonal relationships. How does a guy like myself read hints that she has any interest in me? 

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