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[Guest TheJVS]

Halia_1 said:

Hello Lovely Soompi Ladies.

Please help....

So I got into an argument with boyfriend today. During our conversation, he said his friends saw me at school, and they said I am  pretty, Ofc i feel flattered. and he also said that he replied to them '' make up is amazing'' . He knows them like for like a month and he says that, and of course they ask back, which they mean is like 3 girls, '' Does she wear lot of make up?" and he replies back '' little'' but i am sure he just told me that so i wouldn't get more mad.. I felt hurt.. he knows them like a month since uni started but.. I honestly don't wear make up that crazy, only have eyeliner and mascara. When i am without my make up, there is ofc a difference but I just feel hurt.. He does see me without make up a lot, If he was saying that to his close friends, i wouldn't even make a deal out of it. But ppl i dont even know and he says that. He could have been just like '"oh", or ''ok" or something, instead of making a stupid comment.He goes mad and says he won't tell me anything from now. and I just said whatever.

Would any of you feel the same way as me??

[Guest TheJVS]

Halia_1 said:

Hello Lovely Soompi Ladies.

Please help....

So I got into an argument with boyfriend today. During our conversation, he said his friends saw me at school, and they said I am  pretty, Ofc i feel flattered. and he also said that he replied to them '' make up is amazing'' . He knows them like for like a month and he says that, and of course they ask back, which they mean is like 3 girls, '' Does she wear lot of make up?" and he replies back '' little'' but i am sure he just told me that so i wouldn't get more mad.. I felt hurt.. he knows them like a month since uni started but.. I honestly don't wear make up that crazy, only have eyeliner and mascara. When i am without my make up, there is ofc a difference but I just feel hurt.. He does see me without make up a lot, If he was saying that to his close friends, i wouldn't even make a deal out of it. But ppl i dont even know and he says that. He could have been just like '"oh", or ''ok" or something, instead of making a stupid comment.He goes mad and says he won't tell me anything from now. and I just said whatever.

Would any of you feel the same way as me??

[Guest fairytaledreamer]

I am in the dilemma where I am doubting my conscious. Please help.

This guy and I have been talking on/off for a month. During the whole month we had a few serious conversationS and decided to date exclusive. Thing were going great the first few dates, where he would not mind to drive down to my area just to hangout with me. However just recently we have not hangout nor talk much. Whenver we talked, he would say that his phone is dying. It happens most of the time. I am not sure if it because he does not want to talk to me or what. He is always seems busy with either work or hangout with his friends. Regardless of whom suggested to hangout, he seems to not wanting to drive to my area anymore. A few days ago, he told me that it's always him that makes the effort and not me. Okay fine! I would visit if he is not always busy hanging out with his friends.

I am confused. I cannot tell anymore, whether he is still interested in me or had find someone else. I mean he kept me update with what he is doing for the past few days ...

is he catching two fishes or just wants me to make an effort of coming down to visit him at least once.

my solution to the problem would be stop making myself available to his liking to see if he notices....  I asked my friend and she said that it is not a good idea bc he might think that I am no longer interested and move on. That is fine with me too! lol but that's not what I am striving for.

[Guest TheJVS]

fairytaledreamer said:

I am in the dilemma where I am doubting my conscious. Please help.

This guy and I have been talking on/off for a month. During the whole month we had a few serious conversationS and decided to date exclusive. Thing were going great the first few dates, where he would not mind to drive down to my area just to hangout with me. However just recently we have not hangout nor talk much. Whenver we talked, he would say that his phone is dying. It happens most of the time. I am not sure if it because he does not want to talk to me or what. He is always seems busy with either work or hangout with his friends. Regardless of whom suggested to hangout, he seems to not wanting to drive to my area anymore. A few days ago, he told me that it's always him that makes the effort and not me. Okay fine! I would visit if he is not always busy hanging out with his friends.

I am confused. I cannot tell anymore, whether he is still interested in me or had find someone else. I mean he kept me update with what he is doing for the past few days ...

is he catching two fishes or just wants me to make an effort of coming down to visit him at least once.

my solution to the problem would be stop making myself available to his liking to see if he notices....  I asked my friend and she said that it is not a good idea bc he might think that I am no longer interested and move on. That is fine with me too! lol but that's not what I am striving for.

[Guest fairytaledreamer]

@theJVS

I have no problem of visiting him. However the fact that his actions in the begining vs now are completely different confused me. And since we do not know each other well enough, it sorta makes me feel insecure. Sometime I feel like I am being the safe girl until he finds a better one. at first I didn't even care because dating is just dating, we are allow to explore other possibilities if desire. Yet now that we restricted the definition of dating, I feel obligate for both to commit to only to each other. ...

A few weeks ago, he told me to tell him when I lost interested for him and I asked him to do the same too. Ever since then I have been trying to have less expectation out of this bc I know anything can happen. I tried to let this go with the flow, and be more understanding towards both of us because we both have different schedule and etc. but his current actions makes me feel think that he lost interest in me.

Before he would call me as soon as he gets a chance to whenver he sees my missed call now he took him days to even respond back. Even when he's busy with work. He has to rest, eat, sleep and etc. Seems like he doesnt want to take time out for me. . ..or did I over analyze the whole situation.

[Guest TheJVS]

@fairytaledreamer 
I see where you are coming from. However, dating is just...dating. Many people date other people, but being in a relationship is rather different. Since you two are still in the beginning of a relationship, a lot of misunderstandings/difficulties are going to occur which are all opportunities to strengthen your relationship.
You are posting this because you do care and there is a part of you that wants to continue this with him and see where it takes you. If my assumptions are correct, then you are misunderstanding this guy, big time.
"A few weeks ago, he told me to tell him when I lost interested for him and I asked him to do the same too."I see this as him simply verifying YOUR interest in him. Seeing that he has always been the on making the effort to come to you, maybe he thought that you were just playing around with him? Wouldn't you feel the same if you just started dating someone and every time you're the one going to him? I think there need to be a certain fairness, a balance - to keep both sides happy. To me he sounds worried, and he is questioning YOUR interest in him. . .
On another note, did you just mention that it took him DAYS? to respond to you? Isn't looking good here at all. I'd say quickly talk to him and honestly, talking to him and telling him everything you've told us here would solve the problem a lot faster than getting us to analyze the endless possibilities of what might be going on

[Guest JWonNie]

fairytaledreamer

said:

@theJVS

I have no problem of visiting him. However the fact that his actions in the begining vs now are completely different confused me. And since we do not know each other well enough, it sorta makes me feel insecure. Sometime I feel like I am being the safe girl until he finds a better one. at first I didn't even care because dating is just dating, we are allow to explore other possibilities if desire. Yet now that we restricted the definition of dating, I feel obligate for both to commit to only to each other. ...

A few weeks ago, he told me to tell him when I lost interested for him and I asked him to do the same too. Ever since then I have been trying to have less expectation out of this bc I know anything can happen. I tried to let this go with the flow, and be more understanding towards both of us because we both have different schedule and etc. but his current actions makes me feel think that he lost interest in me.

Before he would call me as soon as he gets a chance to whenver he sees my missed call now he took him days to even respond back. Even when he's busy with work. He has to rest, eat, sleep and etc. Seems like he doesnt want to take time out for me. . ..or did I over analyze the whole situation.

[Guest fandomhigh]

cinjin said: There's this guy I always see around campus (he's in the class before mine, so as he gets out of that class, I'm going into it). We usually have eye contact every time we pass by each other, but I don't think I can interpret that as mutual interest. I wouldn't say we're complete strangers, though we never really talked either. We have some mutual friends, so I saw him at a party a few days ago. I thought it was finally my chance to introduce myself, but throughout the whole night, my friends kept pushing me to do things that were completely away from him and he also ended up leaving the party early.
So, that's basically the back story (it's not much, I know). Obviously, from all that, you can't tell if there's interest on his side, but I am confident that he at least know of my existence. Whether the impression he has of me is good or bad, I'm not sure lol. Anyway, I decided I should just approach him the next time I see him and be like "oh, you were the one at so-and-so's house, right?" and hopefully the conversation will go well from there (tbh, I don't know what else I can say besides that). Is that weird? It's not weird, right? lol I don't know what else to say. I'm pretty determined to actually do it, since I don't want to have regrets about this, but I really just need that spark of confidence to push me forward. Can you girls give me that? T_T

[odaesan]

There's this girl this year who really caught my attention. We actually eat at the same time and we're a few feet from each other most of the time when we go to lunch and dinner, but I feel like there's so much of a distance between us. This I suppose is a bit of a comfort zone thing. I've never asked out a girl without actually knowing her for a while.

If you were in the position of the girl, how would you feel comfortable if someone who is around you starts talking to you and which way is least awkward for the guy to start talking to you? Please also tell me your level of introversion/extroversion so that I could compare your style to mine. Thank you!


Oh, and flag that jasmin301 for spam.

[Guest TheJVS]

odaesan said: There's this girl this year who really caught my attention. We actually eat at the same time and we're a few feet from each other most of the time when we go to lunch and dinner, but I feel like there's so much of a distance between us. This I suppose is a bit of a comfort zone thing. I've never asked out a girl without actually knowing her for a while.

If you were in the position of the girl, how would you feel comfortable if someone who is around you starts talking to you and which way is least awkward for the guy to start talking to you? Please also tell me your level of introversion/extroversion so that I could compare your style to mine. Thank you!


Oh, and flag that jasmin301 for spam.

[Guest [ knockOUT ]]

fairytaledreamer said:

I am in the dilemma where I am doubting my conscious. Please help.

This guy and I have been talking on/off for a month. During the whole month we had a few serious conversationS and decided to date exclusive. Thing were going great the first few dates, where he would not mind to drive down to my area just to hangout with me. However just recently we have not hangout nor talk much. Whenver we talked, he would say that his phone is dying. It happens most of the time. I am not sure if it because he does not want to talk to me or what. He is always seems busy with either work or hangout with his friends. Regardless of whom suggested to hangout, he seems to not wanting to drive to my area anymore. A few days ago, he told me that it's always him that makes the effort and not me. Okay fine! I would visit if he is not always busy hanging out with his friends.

I am confused. I cannot tell anymore, whether he is still interested in me or had find someone else. I mean he kept me update with what he is doing for the past few days ...

is he catching two fishes or just wants me to make an effort of coming down to visit him at least once.

my solution to the problem would be stop making myself available to his liking to see if he notices....  I asked my friend and she said that it is not a good idea bc he might think that I am no longer interested and move on. That is fine with me too! lol but that's not what I am striving for.

[odaesan]

TheJVS said:

If you are going to approach a girl whom you're pretty much a stranger to... I'd say be really honest, respectful. This is the time to let your gentleman side shine. Let her know what your intentions are, and in this case you should tell her something along the lines of: "Sorry to bother you but I've been noticing you for awhile and would really like to get to know you if you don't mind" 
As a girl when random guys come to me and try to "start a conversation" eg. "heyyy it's so cold today" or "the sky is so blue today" or "hey whats up" is sometimes scary and random and i'm usually lost on what their motives are. imo girls would appreciate a guy who comes forth with respect and gets to the point especially since we are probably on the go when you approach us.

[Guest fairytaledreamer]

I feel like we are drifting apart even after the talk. When i suggested /offered to go visit him, he seems different saying he's the only one making the effort while i keep bailing out ob the plans we made. I feel like giving up however i mention to him about wanting someone not giving up on me no matter how difficult it is to be with me. I wouldn't contradict myself right? I mean we are just dating. I feel like he's not putting the dame effort in

[Guest pasdechat]

odaesan said: There's this girl this year who really caught my attention. We actually eat at the same time and we're a few feet from each other most of the time when we go to lunch and dinner, but I feel like there's so much of a distance between us. This I suppose is a bit of a comfort zone thing. I've never asked out a girl without actually knowing her for a while.

If you were in the position of the girl, how would you feel comfortable if someone who is around you starts talking to you and which way is least awkward for the guy to start talking to you? Please also tell me your level of introversion/extroversion so that I could compare your style to mine. Thank you!


Oh, and flag that jasmin301 for spam.

[Guest zer0mg]

odaesan said: There's this girl this year who really caught my attention. We actually eat at the same time and we're a few feet from each other most of the time when we go to lunch and dinner, but I feel like there's so much of a distance between us. This I suppose is a bit of a comfort zone thing. I've never asked out a girl without actually knowing her for a while.

If you were in the position of the girl, how would you feel comfortable if someone who is around you starts talking to you and which way is least awkward for the guy to start talking to you? Please also tell me your level of introversion/extroversion so that I could compare your style to mine. Thank you!

[odaesan]

pasdechat said: Has she noticed you too? It would be better if she, at least, has gotten accustomed to seeing your face around so she knows the context of who you are. So if you approach her, she can think "Ah, it's that guy from ____ that I see all the time" so hopefully it won't be too weird/creepy if you talk to her. If I saw a guy often enough yet we never exchanged conversation, at the very least I wouldn't consider him a complete stranger and be on the defensive as to who the heck is this guy and what does he want with me. If I see you around school often...at least I know you're not a crazy bum from the streets. You're a student at same school as me...and we just don't happen to know each other. Fair enough.
So I suppose if you were to approach her, I'd go with something like, "Hey, I don't know if you've noticed, but I see you here all the time. What's your name? I'm _______. It's nice to break the ice and meet someone new."
And hopefully if she has seen you around, she thinks you're kind of cute too because that would really make her day. The cute guy that she sees all the time finally made a move!
As for asking out people that you have no relationship with...take it from me. I approached my current boyfriend with nothing more than "Hey! I've seen you around a lot...what's your name?" And prior to that, we didn't know each other, didn't take any classes together, or know any of the same people. But it worked out for me because he had seen me around the building often enough to recognize my face, and he also thought I was attractive. He just didn't make a move because he's really shy, so I took a chance and approached him first! Btw, I'm also pretty shy despite my initiative to approach my current boyfriend. I'm known to be pretty quiet and introverted.

[Guest Eru]

Hmm...  It's 5:04 A.M. and I'm half-dazed on Nyquil.  
You know what's awkward?  When you're walking down a hallway and there's someone else walking down the hallway on the other end.  Where do I look? O_O Do I avoid their gaze, look at my phone?  Also, I almost never wear contacts (cause I'm an idiot, mhm) so a lot of the times there are people I know yet their faces look like blurs to me so I stare at their faces to get a better view of who they are.  Do they think I'm being weird or creepy?  I wonder...
Mhm...
Things to ponder on as I now go to sleep, Maybe.

[Guest cheerydumdum]

i've gotten myself into a sticky situation. i've developed feelings for a guy who's taken, and he likes me back too. he's been having problems with his gf lately and i feel like they're going to break up soon. when i ask him if he loves her still, he says that he does. i don't want to be a homewrecker, of course. if i had a choice, i wouldn't have fallen for this guy. i actually gave him advice on how to keep his relationship from falling apart. we've been flirting, but i've been trying to distance myself from him. 
yesterday, he accidentally let it slip that he likes me and he really regretted it. i decided that it was a good time to tell him that i liked him too, but that what we were doing wasn't appropriate and that he needed to sort out his feelings. we agreed that we're going to put some distance between us. he kept saying sorry for telling me he liked me and for how bad the timing is. he told me that i'm not just a rebound (i asked him to consider that), but he also said that he's going to let things go with the flow with his gf and see how things play out. i'm not sure what this situation says about his character. also, at the moment, i don't like him so much that i'm crazy about him because i only recently started getting close to him. there's still plenty we don't know about each other, but i do know that he's being honest with me and he is a genuinely good guy. i'm really not sure how to progress from here. 

[Snowy-Nights]

Lately, I have been feeling not so great about myself and  I'm asking you ladies for advice to dealing with my insecurities right now because girls probably tend to encounter this situation of comparing themselves to their friends.  My friend has been having problems with relationships.  She was in her first serious relationship, and she got really hurt.   I was with her the whole time.  I listened to her, gave her advice, and told her she was worthy and deserved better than what he ever did for her.  And I mean every word of it.  Then she got into a new relationship with a better person (he's also my friend) but some of her bad feelings are coming up from her past relationship.  It made her feeling low about herself and that she won't be loved. But the thing is, my friend is so pretty and friendly.  Boys always talks to her; girls want to get to know her.  I comfort her and tell her that people think she's pretty and want to get to know her and be friends.  I can't help but feel bad that I feel this way, especially since my friend was hurt.  Even though she has confided in me and appreciates that I am there for her, I can't tell her this.  It's embarrassing to admit that you feel not pretty, not attractive.  I don't think there's anything wrong with me and if I don't like something, I try my best to improve.  I learned to dress nicely, wear contacts.  I'm clean, I don't have acne.  I'm thin, average height.  I'm pretty nice and cheerful and I think easy to approach.  But I feel like people aren't interested in me.  I have never been eagerly approached or pursued by guys like her, or have other girls invite me to hang out like her.  I guess I feel frustrated that it comes easier for her but she's still feels low and doesn't see that people do like her.  Because if she, a pretty girl, feels bad, then what does that make me?  I'm most likely being too hard on myself, it's just that all my friends are getting into relationships.  They have someone that wants them.  I don't think I want a relationship, it's just being surrounded by all of this makes me feel pressured and doubt myself.  So how do you girls deal with this?  Thank you!!!                                 

[inxomnia]

odaesan said: TheJVS said:

If you are going to approach a girl whom you're pretty much a stranger to... I'd say be really honest, respectful. This is the time to let your gentleman side shine. Let her know what your intentions are, and in this case you should tell her something along the lines of: "Sorry to bother you but I've been noticing you for awhile and would really like to get to know you if you don't mind" 
As a girl when random guys come to me and try to "start a conversation" eg. "heyyy it's so cold today" or "the sky is so blue today" or "hey whats up" is sometimes scary and random and i'm usually lost on what their motives are. imo girls would appreciate a guy who comes forth with respect and gets to the point especially since we are probably on the go when you approach us.