Ask The Fellas

[CamelKnight]

@aok (tagging @Dhakra though I've got no doubt you're reading this too  )

Since his girlfriend is a coworker of you I would advise to stay away from him. You don't want to get involved with him or be the reason they break up. It will make things difficult at work, eventhough you don't work closely together with her. She no doubt has friends and coworkers who are involved, either in a friendly relationship or a businesslike relationship, with you. 

Ofcourse, if he ends up dating you at least a couple of months after they break up (though I'd advise at least half a year later), you can't be pinpointed as the reason they broke up. Still, there will be talk as long as you both work at the same company.

 

If you don't really have feelings for him (yet) I would suggest you to move on and pick some other vict... man to fall for (  ). Your lives are already intertwined and untangling them without hurting anyone seems difficult at best.

[Guest]

@aok @CamelKnight I'm hesistating to say that she should cut contact with him because actually aok did nothing wrong. She's just part of the company and the world. So cutting ties would be a measure that could be read in many different ways.  I'm trying to say is just continue as usual, reducing the contact but don't act as he doesn't exist.

He has to understand at one point that it's not going to work this way. He has to make a decision first before he involved a thrid person (in this case aok).

[CamelKnight]

2 minutes ago, Dhakra said:

@aok @CamelKnight I'm hesistating to say that she should cut contact with him because actually aok did nothing wrong. She's just part of the company and the world. So cutting ties would be a measure that could be read in many different ways.  I'm trying to say is just continue as usual, reducing the contact but don't act as he doesn't exist.

He has to understand at one point that it's not going to work this way. He has to make a decision first before he involved a thrid person (in this case aok).

I guess the question is what kind of relationship @aok has with this guy at the moment. If it's not something worthy of keeping, you might as well be clear and cut things off. If he's a friend, let him know where he stands.
My point is that he needs to know where his place is (and it's not next to @aok if you're asking me). If you don't do it clear enough, he'll think there's a chance and keep pursueing it. Men love the chase.

[Guest]

@CamelKnightI agree, if he's just a random guy, it shouldn't be a problem if you cut contact entirely. But just moving on and don't care at all may solve the problem aswell. 

Yep, he needs to know where his place is, I agree on that aswell. @aok is in another castle.

5 minutes ago, CamelKnight said:

Men love the chase.

Exactly, the hunt is one of the most interesting things. You have to be clear, we will use any room for interpretation. 

[CamelKnight]

23 minutes ago, Dhakra said:

Exactly, the hunt is one of the most interesting things. You have to be clear, we will use any room for interpretation. 

This is actually the oddest thing about men, now that I think about it.

We always complain how women talk in riddles, leaving clues and not saying what they mean. But when they ARE clear, we're still searching for some "hidden meaning", like we're blinding ourselves of the obvious truth.

Damn, we're stupid  

[Guest]

@CamelKnight Yeah, we always tend to think "but maybe........she just wants to say "try harder", because she doesn't want us to think she's easy to get. 

 

Sometimes we are indeed a little dumb.  

[CamelKnight]

@Dhakra Playing hard to get? Yeah, I guess so. Though truthfully I've not met a lot of women who actually did that. At least not for a relationship. For one-night-stands however...  

[Guest]

@CamelKnightI have no experience regarding one-night-stands, so I can't say much about it, but I met a truckload of women who played hard to get.  

[Guest aok]

@CamelKnight @Dhakra You two are the best, love your conversations.

 

Current update: so I was told from a close friend of hers (and other several) that they ended their relationship a few months ago because she transferred to a different location in another city a few weeks ago.

 

I think I know what you two are going to be asking but ask away.

[Guest]

@aokHaha, yeah, normally this kind of guy-talk is behind closed doors.  You can experience it here first hand in public.

 

It feels like you investigated, it seems you went ahead and asked what happened between them and if they are still a couple. So, do you have any interest in him now? Did you respond? Do you want to date him now?  

[CamelKnight]

@aok

What @Dhakra said.

 

Also: are they still close? 

 

Truth be told: the fact that you didn't know their relationship ended tells me a lot. And why is distance a problem for him and her and not for you and him? Just asking the obvious

[Guest aok]

@Dhakra

Am I interested? I find him attractive but I'll keep my options open.

Did I respond? Yes, I did. He's texted everyday but I kept the talk to a minimum.

Do I want to date him now? I'll leave that option open also.

 

@CamelKnight 

Are they still close? I have no idea.

Distance? Most of his relationships ended with the girl moving away. So I'm guessing he wants one where both are close.

 

What did you mean when you said me not knowing when their relationship ended says a lot?

[Guest]

@aok

 

Mhm, so bottom line, he is currently single and he asked you out if you will miss him when he's gone. And since he already had problems with his gf moving away or being out of town, he tested the water about how you would feel about it. 

So for me, it seems he has a pretty strong interest in you. But what worries me more right now is you. "I'll keep my options" is neither fish nor fowl. "I'll keep my options open" feels like you don't want to commit yourself into something serious. 

Which is okay, but then letting him hang in mid-air feels a little meh. 

If you don't want to go in the same direction, you better try to cut the contact.

[CamelKnight]

16 hours ago, aok said:

@Dhakra

Am I interested? I find him attractive but I'll keep my options open.

Did I respond? Yes, I did. He's texted everyday but I kept the talk to a minimum.

Do I want to date him now? I'll leave that option open also.

 

@CamelKnight 

Are they still close? I have no idea.

Distance? Most of his relationships ended with the girl moving away. So I'm guessing he wants one where both are close.

 

What did you mean when you said me not knowing when their relationship ended says a lot?

I'm, again, agreeing with @Dhakra here. If you're not committing, how do you expect him to commit?

 

What I meant was that you clearly didn't have much interest in him before, or you would've known about them breaking up.

[halfmoonsmile]

I had a conversation with a drunk guy yesterday. My question is if I could trust his answers to the questions I asked him? I asked him some deep and personal questions regarding his interest in me. 

[GiaGia]

Added him again on social media and he accepted after a couple minutes, and he then added me. But why he hasn't message or talk to me?? I used to like him but give him mixed signals. I feel he did liked me back then too. Recently our mutual friend asked what I think of him? What does this mean? 

 

[GiaGia]

7 hours ago, sejabin said:

 

nothing.. hiehiehie if he likes you, he will makes 1st move. 

 

btw what do you mean with mixed signals? usually guy does not really good with mixed signals. if it means yes then they will hope it is yes.. you know girls usually say no when they mean it is yes LOL

 

if u used to like him why are u hoping something from him now? what are you hoping between you and him? 

I don't know....maybe to get to know him better? I mean I used to really talk to him and then on some days I don't talk to him and just ignored him. I guess I'm not going to message him or try since he seems to not like me at all, considering he's not messaging me. 

[GiaGia]

7 hours ago, sejabin said:

 

so do you want to know him better or more?

 

just send a message then. simple.. hiehiehie

 

btw why did you ignore him then later you want to know him more.. are you okay?... *touches your forehead mode ON.. hmmmhh.. feels like your temperature a bit hot now.. 

lol girl!!!! Thought you were a guy!!! lol

I ignored him before because he seems to like this girl whom already has a boyfriend. I would see them hangout together after work waited for her ride to pick her up. And he posted pics of her on his social media. I just couldn't like someone who likes someone who has a bf. So stupid and I'm over it. 

[GiaGia]

5 minutes ago, sejabin said:

 

but now you are thinking of him? LOL .. why? he is just liking her. it is his prerogative ^_* anyone can likes anybody hiehiehie.. 

I was have a boyfriend and there were about 1 or 2 guys who were after me. hahaha it was just normal. this is life hahaha.. I always respect everyone who likes  someone  it's precious if someone like us

Sigh I wish you convince me to let him go and that he was wrong to like her when I'm here liking him, but why do you have to speak so right!! I can't disagree with you lol, sigh it is what it is...thanks.

[CamelKnight]

On 29-11-2017 at 6:22 AM, rosierosie said:

Added him again on social media and he accepted after a couple minutes, and he then added me. But why he hasn't message or talk to me?? I used to like him but give him mixed signals. I feel he did liked me back then too. Recently our mutual friend asked what I think of him? What does this mean? 

 

Why did you add him in the first place? You're, again, sending him mixed messages.

He hasn't responded because you added him. He waits for your move. He also remembers the mixed messages from the past and the mixed message you're sending him now.

 

If you like him, tell him. What do you have to lose? He's not your boyfriend so it's not like you can lose him. And dignity is overrated