Safety Tips for Women

[thistle]

On 7/3/2020 at 4:39 PM, Jillia said:

.....On another note, what I do is when I'm in an area I don't know or I know can be problematic for women I usually take my keys and put each of them inbetween my fingers (not sure if you know what I mean), so in case someone should attack me I can maybe punch him and the sharp pain from the keys will shock the attacker enough for me to escape. Just my two sends. I also always have the keys in my hands when I walk home so I can quickly enter the building.

 

This is a good thing to do.  The important thing is to make sure the the keyring is around a finger--you need to be aware that you might break one or more fingers.  But it is still worth it to keep your life.

 

I would Not suggest carrying a weapon because weapons can be taken from you and used against you.  However, there is one weapon that it is difficult for anyone to take.  It is an item that is usually called a Key Kat.  I have carried one for about 20  years, and I've often had compliments on my "cute" red kitty cat key chain but  no one ever seems to realize that it is a tactical weapon.

 

A friend of mine owns a pawn shop and I've helped out there from time to time so I've had a chance to talk to a bunch of guys about weapons and about how women should defend themselves.  When I've shown them my Key Kat, I've been told every time that it is great self-defense because it is almost impossible to take from a clenched hand when you have the rings slid all the way up your fingers.  It is still possible to use your keys when you have the Key Kat in the defensive position.

 

My key cat does not have sharp ears as this one does but it can still do damage.

 

 

 

 

[singlebilingual]

On 7/4/2020 at 11:07 AM, singlebilingual said:

But if a robber is pointing a gun at you, then don't fight back (unless you have really fast reflexes and is close enough to grab the gun).

I add that you should move your head away, or whichever part of your body the gun is pointed at if you're going to grab the gun.

 

But I must clarify that this is obviously a highly risky move, and I recommend that you don't do it. Not fighting back is the safer option in this case.

[thistle]

56 minutes ago, singlebilingual said:

.....Not fighting back is the safer option in this case.

 

Not fighting back is safer in many options.  I prefer a passive form of defense because it's what would work best for me and for many women:  avoiding, hiding, running.

 

But even a woman who has some weaknesses can be strong.  I have been hesitant to share this true story that took place about a hundred miles from where I live.  I'll spoiler tag this for those who may be squeamish because it is necessary to be a bit graphic in explaining but it is a very good example of what a person can do when she plans ahead and when she knows what strength she possesses.

 

Active Defense:

 

Spoiler

This happened several years ago and I read about this brave lady in the local newspaper.  Her story made a strong impression on me.  This woman was alone and elderly  (if I recall properly she was about 80 years old).  She successfully fought off a rapist who intruded into her home because she had thought ahead.

She knew that she was vulnerable.  A house intruder rapist was something she had worried about and had considered carefully.  But she also knew that, after a lifetime of hard work, her hands were strong even though her legs and back were weak.  She made a plan and she envisioned what she would do if she were overpowered by a man.  She thought about it carefully until it was set in her mind.  When the situation actually happened, she was ready and she managed to stay calm enough to act.

Pardon me for being graphic but this is a true story and this is what she did.  When he pulled his pants down and was trying to enter her, she reached between his legs and grabbed his scrotum with both of her strong hands; then she twisted the testicles in opposite directions with as much force as she could.  He collapsed in pain, and she took that opportunity to she get out of the house to go to a neighbor's.

When the police arrived, the man was long gone but they took the woman's report.  The man was easily identified later when he went to the emergency room with ruptured testicles.  He went straight to jail.  That brave lady saved herself and probably other women, too, because she did permanent damage.

I wouldn't necessarily suggest doing this unless you were certain you could be this strong and this courageous.  You don't want to simply anger an attacker but if you know that you can hurt him enough to get time to escape, it is worth the risk.

 

[MayanEcho]

14 minutes ago, thistle said:

Not fighting back is safer in many options.  I prefer a passive form of defense because it's what would work best for me and for many women:  avoiding, hiding, running.

 

This is still the best course of action, unless one has been trained and has the guts to attack back to swiftly cause damage.

 

It's difficult for many to keep calm and still, when flight is not possible, because the instinct to fight back is there. 

 

Working in the bank taught us that anytime, someone will do "something funny", due to the amount of cash in hand. It's been emphasized again and again that it's only money - and should there be robbery/hold ups - don't fuss, just hand it over. Neither should we try to follow, or check which direction they go after they leave - that is when some bankers gets injured or killed, after the actual robbery.

[thistle]

2 minutes ago, MayanEcho said:

It's difficult for many to keep calm and still, when flight is not possible, because the instinct to fight back is there. 

 

So true.  The problem that most people face is that in a crisis they hold their breath without realizing they are doing so; then the lack of oxygen impedes their ability both to think and to act.  That's when we do foolish stuff like fighting back without weighing the consequences.  It is much harder to hold still and consider the options.  

 

5 minutes ago, MayanEcho said:

Working in the bank taught us that anytime, someone will do "something funny", due to the amount of cash in hand. It's been emphasized again and again that it's only money - and should there be robbery/hold ups - don't fuss, just hand it over. Neither should we try to follow, or check which direction they go after they leave - that is when some bankers gets injured or killed, after the actual robbery.

 

That's a really good point.  The robber is acting on an adrenal high and he's gonna be protective of "his" money if he thinks you will try to take it from him.  

 

Stuff is just stuff.  Money is paper.  The thing that can't be replaced easily is human life.

 

[thistle]

18 hours ago, stroppyse said:

The key seems to be preparation to buy ourselves some time to run towards someone or something which may help us. But, also to think ahead of time in productive ways about what we may be willing to do if we are willing to do the prep or the training for that.

 

Exactly.   When we prepare ahead of time (even though it means imagining scary scenarios), we can have the mental stillness (or even calm) to move in the right direction to avoiding trouble. 

[thistle]

On 7/20/2020 at 2:14 PM, stroppyse said:

Though I guess with the pandemic around, this probably isn't a big thing right now.

 

As someone who is suffering from CoVid, my advice would be to avoid clubs, parties, or other group activities altogether.    Trust me, a couple of hours of fun is not worth the risk of infection.

 

My idea of women's safety at the moment:  wear a mask!  

[thistle]

4 hours ago, stroppyse said:

Wear a mask and keep 6 feet (2 meters) away from other people!

 

People who refuse to wear the mask and who won't distance need to wake the heck up.  I'm afraid that I gave one person a rude shock today.

 

I was in the grocery store for the first time since June 19--today is July 28--that is a Very Long Time but I've been avoiding to keep others safe.  Today, I couldn't wait any longer because I had run out of absolute necessities and anyway I was ready to kill for fresh broccoli.  (Danger! Mad Vegetarian in the house!)

 

Since I'm needing extra protein right now, I decided milk would be a wise purchase but there was some random guy standing in front of the milk refrigerator and he was not in any hurry to move.  This guy was standing right up next to some other people and he was not wearing a mask.  I waited for more than a minute before my energy ran out and I said, "Excuse me, sir, I need to reach the milk that is behind you." 

 

He said, "It's okay, honey, just budge up.  I'm safe."  (yes, I live in the South; we do talk like that)

And I said, "I am genuinely glad to hear that, sir, but I am Not."

He gave me an unpleasant stare because Obviously I was the one in the wrong here for venturing into the store, and he moved aside a few inches.  

 

People who refuse to wear masks are not only putting themselves at risk but also everyone else around them.   Maybe that guy thought he was safe but that isn't necessarily true.  I knew that I was not safe but there is no one who can go to the store for me so I washed my hands before I left the house, I wore a mask properly over my nose and mouth, I kept a good distance from other people (except Mr. Random), and I avoided touching anything I did not intend to purchase. 

 

We need to be in global compliance with wearing masks.  And we need to avoid standing too close to strangers.  You never know when you'll meet someone with CoVid, like me.  It really is a grave matter of safety.

 

And the world is now safe from the Mad Vegetarian--I bought a huge package of fresh broccoli.

[thistle]

 

Here's something simple and cheap in the realm of passively keeping yourself safe, a self defense barrette.  These can easily be found for sale online.   While it will not stop someone from harming you, it could possibly help you to get out of a jam.  I keep one of these in my purse--it takes up no space at all and it weighs very little. 

 

[mirmz]

pepper spray's pretty good for self defense

[thistle]

14 hours ago, mirmz said:

pepper spray's pretty good for self defense

 

Yes, it could be.  And No, it is not.  I won't ever carry it again.

 

Let me tell you what happened to me:  

A relative attached a pepper spray to my key ring, and I carried it for awhile believing it was a good idea--you know, any extra safety should be a good thing, right?  Well, it wasn't.  While I was visiting a friend's shop one day, a creepy customer reached over and grabbed my keys.  He said he was just joking.  It was only later that I realized that he had deliberately punctured the seal on the pepper spray so that it was dripping and now ineffective. 

 

For several days,  I couldn't figure out why there were little red stain drops appearing on my clothes whenever I would leave the house.  I couldn't understand why I kept feeling horribly sick every time I got into my car or when I handled my keys.  Then I realized that the pepper spray cannister was leaking. 

 

I mentioned this to my store friend because the guy who grabbed my keys was the only one who could have touched the pepper spray.  She said that this was a guy who had a deep hatred of women and that he was probably showing how vulnerable someone could be even with pepper spray.  He could easily have taken it away from me that day, and he rendered the cannister ineffective so that I couldn't have used it later if I had needed to.

 

This is something vitally important that we should never forget:  any weapon that you carry can be taken from you and used against you.  Be cautious what you carry.

 

I still carry a Key Kat as I mentioned in an earlier post.  But now I make sure to be aware to keep my keys out of the reach of the hands of strangers.

[thistle]

On 8/9/2020 at 12:47 PM, Guest031284 said:

I will give advice as an ex treasurer. About safety. Ahahaha. Just surrender it to God. Seriously. Hahaha but I am serious.

 

I'm glad that you stayed safe.  That must have been really scary.  Trusting God is the most important thing we can do. 

 

But we also need to exercise good judgment as well as being instant in prayer--faith is alone without works.  We need to be aware of our surroundings and we need to be sensible about the course we follow so that we can be safe.

[MayanEcho]

7 hours ago, thistle said:

But we also need to exercise good judgment as well as being instant in prayer--faith is alone without works.  We need to be aware of our surroundings and we need to be sensible about the course we follow so that we can be safe.

 

I've mentioned before that in the bank, if there's robbery, do not resist when you're asked for the money.

 

Nonetheless, even if there are guards and CCTV system, you've to be observant of your surroundings, assess the clients and the visitors' demeanor, or if something is quite off outside and inside the bank. 

 

People who aren't in banking can do this too. If it ever happens, choose your life and safety, and never physically try fighting anyone during holdups and robberies. Money, can always be replaced.

 

Someone I know survived a shoot out. She was picking up the cash from different establishments and smaller banks. Staff and the money inside armoured vehicles are vulnerable upon opening the door to either alight or leave. When she was getting down, she saw the gunmen about to attack as the vehicle doors are unlocked and open.

 

She was able to run inside the bank even in heels. What was more, she was also pregnant that time. She could have easily been caught in the gunfight if she wasn't scanning her surroundings.

 

In those few seconds, she was able to escape unharmed, because as a norm, she was keenly looking around to check for any signs of danger.

 

[Jessica King]

Use discernment and wisdom! As a woman, I make sure I am not outside in shady places at night. Carry pepper spray. That is very important!

[thistle]

On 8/15/2020 at 4:40 AM, Jessica King said:

Use discernment and wisdom! As a woman, I make sure I am not outside in shady places at night. Carry pepper spray. That is very important!

 

I agree that we should use discernment.  We have to aware of the risks around us.

 

 However, as I mentioned previously, I would suggest caution in carrying pepper spray or any self-defensive device that could be used against you.

[thistle]

Where do you keep your keys?  This may sound unimportant but, in fact, it is the opposite:  where you keep your keys could actually be a life and death issue.

 

While you are out and about in the world:  Never ever put your keys in your purse.  Why?  If someone takes your purse, they will not only have your home address information from your IDs but they will also have your keys to get inside.

 

While you are at home, your keys should be with your purse and your purse should be where you can reach it quickly.  If you need to make a quick getaway, you only need to make one stop on your way out the door (or window, if necessary.....and you should be aware that the window may indeed be necessary).  Just for example, I keep mine on a shelf in the most central location in my small home (the hallway) where they are never far away no matter where I am.  If you make a habit of being aware where you are keeping your keys, you will be just that much safer.

 

When  you go to bed at night, your keys should be on the table next to your bed.  If you need your keys in a hurry, you only need to reach out.  Remember that your keys can be a weapon but use that notion wisely.  Also remember that if your car is close to your home, you may be able to set off the car alarm from inside the house by using your keyfob.  Intruders can be distracted or even discouraged from harming you if there is enough noise that they think they will be discovered.

 

Keep yourself safe.  Start by paying attention to your keys.