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[Current Drama 2020] It's Okay not to be Okay, 사이코지만 괜찮아 - Sat & Sun @ 21:00 KST

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10 hours ago, midflight said:
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As much as I understand where you are coming from, I would have to disagree with this. True to her bio and synopsis, Go Moon-young has ASPD. I explained it in full detail in this Twitter post, with screenshots to prove that her behavior is exhibited in the DSM-5 for ASPD--and this is under the assumption that she has been doing this before she was 15 (as seen in the animation that was placed in the first episode) and that she is not schizophrenic or diagnosed with bipolar disorder. 

 

 

I agree with you. I do think she has ASPD like her bio said. Lots of rich and powerful people have ASPD. It’s said that as many as 5% of upper management have it. 
 

Also based on this BBC article... https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20171102-do-psychopaths-really-make-better-leaders

 

It is commonly thought that psychopaths don’t feel any guilt or remorse, but recent research shows they are capable of such negative emotions, but only when something impacts them directly. In other words, if they hurt someone else, they won’t be racked with guilt like someone else might, but if a situation leaves them worse off they would feel regret.

 

series of studies in 2014 found that those prone to feeling guilt tend to avoid forming interdependent relationships with other people they perceive to be more competent than themselves. The reason - the prospect of not contributing enough to the relationship could make them feel guilty.

 

But clearly there are upsides to feeling guilt too. The studies also found that when guilt-prone people do form these relationships, they work harder to avoid letting people down. A study from Stanford Graduate School of Business also found that guilt can act as a motivator. It also helps guide people morally by acting as a deterrent from doing things that are legally and morally wrong. 

 

In other words, for our FL to become a better person in social view, she literally will need someone she feels she would be worse of losing and thus wants to impress (eg our ML) to be in her life to be a motivator to behave morally. 

Edited by Berou
please don't quote images, thanks !
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As Seo Ji said that through this drama, she has been understanding more about herself.

 

As Soo Hyun did his personal life with past complex relationships and stories.

 

Upon those, I believe that this drama is not only a healing journey of its characters, a meaning message to people who have mental issues out there, but also has great meanings to KSH and SYJ. 

 

While waiting for Saturday and Sunday to come, I've marathon here and there, still cannot roll myself over this favorite scene:

 

2020-07-03-21-43-08.jpg

When KT, who always tries to be calm and MY, who always keep her chin up

put off their guards 

as they cross their limits of emotions 

no words needed, since we can feel the pain through their body languages and facial expressions. 

 

2020-07-03-21-42-59.jpg

And the moment he appeared, look at her relief face as if she was saved, not physically, but emotionally. This marks their turning point in this journey.

 

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And I need to mention the high cinematic quality that has so many meanings in just one frame. Will they be the guiding light to each other? 

 

 

(Photo edit by me)

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2 hours ago, arcchidus said:

I agree with you. I do think she has ASPD like her bio said. Lots of rich and powerful people have ASPD. It’s said that as many as 5% of upper management have it. 
 

Also based on this BBC article... https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20171102-do-psychopaths-really-make-better-leaders

 

It is commonly thought that psychopaths don’t feel any guilt or remorse, but recent research shows they are capable of such negative emotions, but only when something impacts them directly. In other words, if they hurt someone else, they won’t be racked with guilt like someone else might, but if a situation leaves them worse off they would feel regret.

 

series of studies in 2014 found that those prone to feeling guilt tend to avoid forming interdependent relationships with other people they perceive to be more competent than themselves. The reason - the prospect of not contributing enough to the relationship could make them feel guilty.

 

But clearly there are upsides to feeling guilt too. The studies also found that when guilt-prone people do form these relationships, they work harder to avoid letting people down. A study from Stanford Graduate School of Business also found that guilt can act as a motivator. It also helps guide people morally by acting as a deterrent from doing things that are legally and morally wrong. 

 

In other words, for our FL to become a better person in social view, she literally will need someone she feels she would be worse of losing and thus wants to impress (eg our ML) to be in her life to be a motivator to behave morally. 

 

I'm glad that so far, the show is portraying it this way. Can't wait for the episode later! Thanks for putting all the links! I am learning a lot! <3

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I've never commented before but I've seen some people talking about disorders as if they are just a checklist and I thought I would impart my perspective.

 

First, as some others have said, people with ASPD have emotions. Every human has them, they just have them and deal with them differently, that's all. 

 

Second, any disorder is a SPECTRUM. Two people with ASPD can be very similar but they aren't identical. That's why while checklists are a useful guide, they are just that, a guide, not a rule.

 

Third, people with ASPD can experience emotional empathy. Think of it as a switch if you will. In people with ASPD that switch is off but with effort they can turn it on, maybe not constantly. They do have a disorder and it won't just magically disappear, but they can learn to deal with it.

 

Also, they tend to have a high cognitive empathy, that's why it's so easy for them to manipulate others in the first place. They can identify their emotions, see how it affects them and use that to their favour. 

 

Not all people with ASPD are murderers and a disorder doesn't make the whole person. MY can have ASPD and have good qualities worthy of being admired but still need to improve in other areas. That's just how we all are, humans aren't perfect. People with disorders just need time to learn how to navigate them.

 

While I understand being doubtful because dramas have a long history of doing mental illness wrong... before criticizing I would encourage first to educate oneself before trying to speak on the subject, keep an open mind as disorders aren't black and white and to finish the drama before deciding if the disorder was well represented or not. From what we've seen there's really nothing that says the writer has taken their job lightly, but there's many episodes yet to come.

 

I would also like to remind that the title is "It's okay to not be okay". MY is who she is and while she can learn to deal with her issues in a healthier way for herself and others, she isn't required to be perfect at it.

 

Whatever her motivations may be, it's been shown she wants to improve. She has been doing active efforts to do so, like thinking long and hard why KT had been mad at her or using the butterfly hug, which shows she's open to listen and that's a start.

 

Also, it's been shown that while she is impulsive and she has her own morality, she doesn't go around hurting people gratuitously.

 

Anyway, these kind of dramas are SO important. They start conversations, bring awarenes and help open minds. I hope the writer and the director keep on the amazing job they have been doing.

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I believe she does have ASPD. I don't think they would market the show/MY's character that way for nothing and they have tried to show it through her actions. 

 

Which is great because it's breaking the stigma especially in a country like SK. A lot of people write off those suffering from ASPD as narcissists/bad people and don't consider it a legit disorder like autism, etc. Seeing MY struggle with this and try to work through it will open people's eyes to this.

 

Even if the average Korean isn't open to this type of subject matter I hope this drama wins awards because it deserves esp if the level of quality continues to the end. 

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I’m too old for fairy tales. 
           I think you’re just the right age for it. 

          I can see that you want to be loved.

 

 

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cr. kwakkitae tumblr

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When I look at the Zombie Kid as a window into Mun-yeong's soul, it does seem to suggest at some point she was diagnosed with ASPD. Admittedly I'm no expert and I'm somewhat sceptical of modern psychology's propensity to slap labels on people but it doesn't take away from the fact that she's a broken human being. Just as Kwon Gi-do is one. And perhaps Gang-tae as well. Whatever these individuals came to the world as, Zombie Kid suggests to me that indifferent or poor parenting made things far worse than they needed to be. So in a sense whether or not MY has ASPD is really not relevant because there's something eating at her that's making her act in the way she does. She, I believe, wants help and is crying out for it. What I understood from the Zombie Kid is that unhealthy parenting is as much a factor in mental health issues as is any kind of innate disposition. It could be too that individuals with mental health issues are self-fulfilling endgames caused by environmental factors. A child might manifest certain tendencies at a young age and if their parents insist on treating them according to the tendencies they might end up becoming what their parents only suspected. What the Zombie Kid implies is that what kids really need is love whatever their psychological tendencies or intellectual propensities. Who knows... some of them might outgrow their psychological deficiencies and become fully functional members of society without any need for clinical intervention.

 

Kwon Gi-do it seemed to me was a relatively normal kid who wasn't particularly bright or at least not academically driven. His parents had certain expectations of him and compared him to his older siblings who presumably excelled academically and professionally. They were the kids that mum and dad could trot out and brag about to their friends. He, on the other hand, was undeniably a disappointment to them and that affected all their interactions. 

 

Those of us who are parents of more than one child know this. Every child is different at different stages. I certainly don't hold to the tabula rasa thesis (the evidence is overwhelming in that regard) but in the developmental phase the kind of nurture they receive is equally important. It seems to me that our job as parents first and foremost is to love our kids however they come to us because that has a powerful effect on how they develop into adults.

 

This may be a much bigger issue in SK society where a child's entire existence from the moment they're born is directed towards getting a place in the university which will increase their chances of getting a better job or a better future. Where every member is a cog of a well-oiled machinery. Just imagine if you are an ambitious personality and you have a child who doesn't fit into that mould of excellence. Often what happens is that they would take out their disappointment on the child through neglect or undue harshness. And in so doing create an even bigger problem for yourself and society. Parenting is an investment not primarily in financial or even academic terms. Money can never be a substitute. Good parenting is an investment in a child's future. And society's future as well.

 

So to me the story of KGD is a parable of that particular society in how it plays out. It's less of a mental health issue per se than one of social pressures having a flow-on effect. KGD's mental health issue is symptomatic of a number of larger social issues. A functional family is foundational to a functional society. That's why the role of family not just to an individual's development but all of society is vital.

 

This is why I suspect that what MY has been diagnosed with is more a result of what her mother has done to her than any kind of innate propensity.

 

The stark cannibalism in Zombie Kid also shows that often times parents sacrifice themselves unnecessarily for their children. Or give them things the children don't necessarily need or want. In reality most kids don't want all that much. Their material appetites fall in line with how they're brought up. From my own observations they just want to have a healthy relationship with their mum and dads. 

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I totally agree with everything you wrote! @40somethingahjumma

 

I want to expand on what you said about how Moon Young may have a disorder but it was her parents that made it much worse for her. Same with Kwon Gi-do. 

 

This nature vs. nurture debate is very prevalent in psychology. I am no expert but pick up any psych 101 book and it's usually the first topic they start out with because every case, every person is unique in how they come to develop x disorder.

 

Take depression for example. Yes there is a genetic element that makes some people more likely to develop clinical depression.  Heck there are also lifestyle factors that increase your risk like if you lack things like vitamin D, iron etc. BUT if you experience trauma especially in your childhood, your chances skyrocket.  

 

Moon Young was experiencing trauma after trauma as a child and add to that the fact that she was in complete isolation from her peers when her psyche was still developing. We forget that people spend their whole life fighting childhood demons because when we are young our subconscious minds are still forming. Any wounds acquired at that time run deep. 

 

It's not a coincidence that Moon Young has an antisocial disorder when she was kept isolated all her childhood. She fears getting close to people because the people she was close to as a child (her parents) discarded and devalued her. Her father even tried to kill her I mean the level of pain she must have experienced. She HAD TO numb herself to survive. To move on. 

 

She doesn't lack empathy. She can't afford to be empathic because doing so requires vulnerability. And the one thing she won't allow herself to be is vulnerable. 

 

Spoiler

She's also never seen empathy being practiced as a child so she wasn't able to develop it the way most people do.  

 

That's why her truly falling in love will force her to be vulnerable and that's gonna open up and heal a whole lot in her. 

 

And her first step towards healing will have to be feeling pain again. It's going to be difficult and she will lash out when it hurts. But she's already showing signs of starting her healing process with Kang Tae. Her concern for him, the butterfly hug after her sleep paralysis episode, the fact she tried to visit her father at all, etc.

 

And it breaks my heart but Kang Tae might be the first person to actually show her empathy when he went to look for and comfort her. This is going to deepen her feelings for him and he's going to be the first person she trusts. 

 

Ahhh I can't wait for the next episode! I'm literally dancing in my seat I'm so excited :D:wub:

 

 

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New pics

 

Jung Sang-hoon, today (4th)'Psycho, but it's okay' special appearance

 

0000512403_002_20200704090616826.jpg?type=w540

 

0000512403_001_20200704090616730.jpg?type=w540

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23 minutes ago, kaddict said:

She HAD TO numb herself to survive. To move on. 

YES huhu thats why whe MKT said to her about empty can.. That was mean of him as he alike monster by his own words. This face really breaks my heart, she is a portrait of the hollow girl..

e60253544910eb462248d662ba1b363cc6e49a56

when she faced her trauma with her father,

she was like bracing herself and loosen up the numb control, we can see she is in fear.. TT8e290f2f912fcf496ad83f2429337fcf492fa08a6825bf35a390dea11ec6cfdff5e6c5982c603eaf

the acting is on point.

 

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@bairama your right! she looks hopeful for a moment that perhaps her dad forgotten so he's different now but then he attacks her. 

 

And it was mean of Kang Tae to say that. I understand why he said it but he shouldn't have when he knows so little about her history and why she is the way she is. 

 

Seo ye ji is a brilliant actress. 

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Dramabeans' end-comment perfectly described some of the reasons this show is appealing from the beginning. Although they drink waaaay too much & are missing some great details in the story & performances lol.

 

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@hwonhwon_stv thanks for the Japanese mag!
 

FYI I do some tiny translations: 

The issue is called the ‘Unstoppable Love’ (止まらぬ愛号). Japanese name for the drama is literally, “I’m a psycho but it’s ok” (サイコだけど大丈夫). 

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8 minutes ago, stella77 said:

@hwonhwon_stv thanks for the Japanese mag!
 

FYI I do some tiny translations: 

The issue is called the ‘Unstoppable Love’ (止まらぬ愛号). Japanese name for the drama is literally, “I’m a psycho but it’s ok” (サイコだけど大丈夫). 

 

 

You're welcome :)

 

 

Filming

 

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0081wmhEly1ggdnnhht8dj30b40b4q47.jpg

 

cr:owner

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I wonder when will Gang Tae realize that she's the girl he liked when he was young. The new stills show him holding her book, its cover looks like the one with the title monkfish or something. I wonder what message will he get this time. 

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