[Drama 2020] My Unfamiliar Family, (아는 건 별로 없지만) 가족입니다

[ponderings]

9 hours ago, Nodame said:

I agree the writer nim is showing us more thoughts by character’s on gays and mental illness. I liked how EJ did not care for her acquaintance side comment of the partner being flagrantly gay based on his wardrobe choice in a derisive tone. I agree with EJ, I wouldn’t want to work with someone that distasteful and judgmental too.

 

Yes! She was clearly not open minded and is an example of people who oppress the marginalized. 

 

A lot went on in episode 7...well there's a lot in each episode to unpack! For now, I would like to focus on the mom. From the very first scene we see her, she's always in the kitchen. 

I think she's deliberately seen in the kitchen because the typical mom's job is to cook and make food for her children. She's tied down by her children and so she devotes her time in the kitchen. 

 

In ep 7, after throwing out the garbage and recycling, she washes her hands in the kitchen. She's designated in that same spot while she emotional breaks down and releases her suppressed feelings towards Samshik. 

 

What I've noticed throughout the episodes is that mom has that facial expression indicated she's about to break down, but can't seem to do so. We finally see it in her confrontation with Samshik, but even then she's covering her mouth. She's covering her cries. She's embodying so much suffering! 

 

And lastly, we see her alone eating dinner, which is just fruit, in the dim lit room. Her entire lifetime has been tied down by her family. Her identity is defined by her children so I enjoy seeing her in another space, talking to elders in the hospital. I hope there's more clarification and revealing to show the other side of mom. I believe there's so much more to her!  

Spoiler

 

[Nodame]

@ponderings Thank you my love! Yes love how you talked about mom and her role in the family, the rock of the family. She has so much as a mom to be there for the kids and doesn't have anything for herself. She deserves some happiness. 

 

The room that was EH room is her space. I recall how EH found mom's book on volunteerism and other topics was revelation to her as she probably did not know that about mom. How could she? She avoided mom too and did not talk to her that much. Remember how in EP 1 she avoided taking mom's call and kept repeating xxxx is not a good time. JW had to call her to get her attention as she talked to him. Also poor mom once lashed out--you NEVER have a good time to chat. (poor mom)

 

Being in a family where a hubby is driving and spending a lot of time away from the family, curt and not nice, not giving enough living expenses for the family and always complaining. I cannot blame mom slowly being out of the relationship (eons ago). As for many mothers, she stayed for the kids. She did not want to disrupt their lives also social stigma of divorced woman and kids (seeing enough dramas) to know it is looked down upon. Just saw When My Love Blooms, society and other moms /kids are not nice to divorcees and their kids.  Same for the recent smash hit World of the Married, our main couple were divorced and their son and mom suffered more than the father (who cheated on the mom).  Even with the weekend drama, Once Again, I am seeing how society looks at divorced couples. Not all people are looking at them as bad but there are obviously nice people who are accepting but the majority will judge if you are divorced.

 

 

Spoiler

@ponderings I am also watching Dinner Mate and thought of you about characters spacing and light. LOL and tagged you but realized you probably not watching it. Sorry!

 

I was so happy that the OTP were having some movement and then going on a date--ML was leaving Ex space to go to FL space then they had a good chat in a very WELL lit elevator.

 

(just all out of the blue hit me.) LOL usually I am not that observant.

 

 

@Samuel Yohanes I wonder if they are trolling us in the preview with CH and EH, but anyways in any MATTER they are starting their feelings if not  too soon for full blown confession and going out. Seems Mr. Player is on the way out as EH lets go of his hand and EH is no longer satisfied with their status quo. (I am glad she is coming to her senses---though I admit i love Shin Dong Wook  and dang he is tempting , I want EH to grow and be good to herself.)

 

Thanks tvN for posting some clips of this last episode which I have not seen yet!

 

Clip of Mr Player's ex with EH and EH's colleague Kyeong Ok (awkward) as he finds them waiting outside 

숨막히는 삼자대면! 한예리, 신동욱, 그리고 '9년 된 여친' 배윤경 

 

 

Spoiler

Here are some other clips:

 

EJ with TH and TH's mom 

 

시어머니의 막말! 추자현에게 잊었니? 내가 너를 선택한거야 

 

MIL cannot believe that EJ did not know as their marriage was not based on love.  I knew you were able to handle this kind of relationship, I chose you! TH stands up for EJ and mentions about his mom's conscious. (I need subs.) Just tells his mom to give it up!

 

EH visiting mom --she asks mom about EJ (birth)

 

추자현 출생의 비밀을 눈치 챈 한예리의 간절함 엄마, 내 생각이 틀린거라고 말해줘 |

 

EH mentions about knowing about the history of the photo what dad told her that date and his first time holding mom's hand was that date. Dad's words were a mistake right?

 

 

 

[ponderings]

Spoiler

Haha I read your tag in the Dinner Mate thread! I usually like to focus on one drama so thanks for describing the scenario of the OTP and the Ex! Props to being more observant (:

 

 

Quote

Thank you my love! Yes love how you talked about mom and her role in the family, the rock of the family. She has so much as a mom to be there for the kids and doesn't have anything for herself. She deserves some happiness. 

 

The room that was EH room is her space. I recall how EH found mom's book on volunteerism and other topics was revelation to her as she probably did not know that about mom. How could she? She avoided mom too and did not talk to her that much. Remember how in EP 1 she avoided taking mom's call and kept repeating xxxx is not a good time. JW had to call her to get her attention as she talked to him. Also poor mom once lashed out--you NEVER have a good time to chat. (poor mom)

I am looking forward to the mom finding her own identity outside of her family life. Good memory on what the mom's books were about! Since one of the topics was on volunteering, she's probably volunteering at the hospital! 

That scene you noted about ep 1 sets the relationship between the mom and her kids; it is my favorite scene and I knew from the start I would love this drama. (I also got the same inkling when I watched When My Love Blooms. Love that you mentioned the social stigma of divorced womxn and their kids such as in WMLB).

 

But going back to that scene, EH is afraid of her mom and always wants to please mom so that's why it's hard for EH to voice her thoughts and opinions to mom. On the other hand, JW tries to bind the sisters together and maintain some kind of communication between mom and the sisters. He's right in the middle!  

 

In terms of relating the family problems in this drama to real life, it is best to have direct communication with a family member you hold a grudge and/or hold disappointment and other feelings. It is not healthy to suppress feelings and these feelings will build up to a larger problem with so many knots. 

[Nodame]

Just saw the whole episode, intense as always.

 

@ponderings I agree right? The first episode setting the tone definitely got me into the story too! So realistic and slice of life with out being too cliche. I was struck by mom’s volunteerism books and other stuff as a way for mom preparing to enjoy her free time. She endured children avoiding her calls EH, stern hubby who was emotionally not there, needy but sweet maknae and cold Yet stoic daughter in EJ.

 

Family being important and relationships as part of a Confucian society, no wonder divorce is not considered desirable. Seeing this more of as a norm representing divorce in dramas, we see the toll on the actual victims and those around them. I enjoyed those dramas and glad you saw them too!
 

I agree talking to family is important with communication.

 

Spoiler

I had a tough time with my dad. I finally got sick of years of taking his verbal attacks and not nice comments. It was tough and emotional . I feel better but at the time I felt I went through hell. We are still working on communications but work in progress. You cannot expect a tiger to lose his stripes overnight. 

 

Thoughts on this episode :

 

The MIL we knew was apiece of work. To have her say I chose you for TH. She did plan their first meeting even though EJ thought she was going to be fired. She thinks if her as wise and simple despite her background. (I did wonder why the mother didn’t put up much s fuss with EJ). She knew her son TH would be tough to marry off but EJ seemed to be made of sterner stuff. TH at their first meeting mentioned you know my mom pretty well- the first person I encountered . But he apologized to EJ not realizing he really didn’t know her as well as he thought.

 

EJ was right it was not TH conscience but the burden of EJ’s love for him. TH did say that to EH when they talked that EJ was a burden he hated and made him more resentful of EJ. The fact he came home worried EJ was crying alone. EJ of course won’t say she was. Recall CH first meeting EJ crying alone in the park. It seems EJ really dislikes others to see her cry/vulnerable.

 

EH told CH I hope you know I lent you to EJ for support. But when she passed for him to remind her to be nice and mindful of her words as they are so cold they can cut a person. (EH after finding out her ex cheated in her and EJ couldn’t console EH. Or how EJ tried to guilt mom to not move giving back the money dad saved .(My heart was torn for JS the mom to realize her own value in the family is not much more than that money saved by dad to repay EJ. 
 

The ex/stylist GF def knew who EH was and was not impressed. She wanted to embarrass and hurt Mr Player. To have EH swap roles was not fun but she let herself be in it. Later at the company when ex/won’t let go GF used his phone to harass EH, she was pissed. Reminded EH of her situation. No wonder she in the preview giving hints of trouble in paradise. Granted this is NOT a good situation and glad she will get out of it.

 

EH waiting for CH to talk with him. JW losing the bet to SY if CH was talking to his sis. The fact EH danced and acted cute wanting to be friends forever and never part. I liked she told CH loving his caring nature is from his loving family background she was envious of him. When JW our if character asks her to lay off CH. I totally agreed it was always on EH terms to leave and come back to act as nothing has happened. JW was surprised CH knew about Mr Player. I am glad he stood up for CH. Granted JW want his boss to have issues with his nuna EH.

 

CH telling SY that EH doesn’t know about the Matsun (marriage meeting) cause he liked her and he didn’t want her to know . We know EH also liked him but held herself back before. It seems she feels friendship last longer than dating . She rather have him in her life longer. So the feelings were deep for CH to feel hurt more than by JM her ex. Same he was hurt too. So the pics by CH def showed his feelings. But they are close like siblings to rag in each other. But despite his protests CH was not liking EH avoiding him with a simple wave (hello/bye) which is not like her to him.

 

When EH talked about liking someone’s photos of course thought of CH. He does have a talent and the camera doesn’t lie.The amount of pics of EH, no wonder SY teased him liking her. She is very astute on the guy she likes.I look forward to them getting together (seems definitely likely)

 

CH is the go to sweetie pie good hyung/oppa. You want him on your side. I agree SY likes him because he is on her side. He sounded like a therapist when she was freaking out over her rapist posting a note she looked well on social media. I am glad he keeps privacy too like a therapist as well when JW inquires about SY deal . Def feel JW growing to like SY. 
 

Though I love SDW as Mr Player (not amused and pretty much over his story with EH. Seems like she won’t be dealing with his messy relationship after that last call.

 

Thats all for now 

[ponderings]

Quick thoughts on today's episode. I will take the time to read your comment @Nodame and respond to it. I just need to jot down my thoughts and sleep ASAP.

 

The socioeconomic statuses are being highlighted in this episode. 

1) The mother in-law looks down on EJ. I like that EJ thinks to herself, "I may be poor, but I'm smart and smile." EJ is able to stand up for herself, but my heart broke when she confessed that she started liking Tae Hyung little by little. 

2) Money always seemed to be a problem in the family. The father secretly saved money in a bank account for EJ. On the other hand, the mother thought he kept the money for the other family he had. She had trouble raising her children and EJ suffered through it, having to substitute teach and tutor in the weekends. She wore cheap clothes and old shoes and survived through it. That explains why EJ is harsh and in a way, she's holding onto her mom's suffering. When EJ has problems herself, she finds a justification to let it out on her mom. 

 

Seeing the mom and dad's broken relationship makes me understand why EJ and EH sought out unhealthy relationships with another significant other. I am curious as to how JW's relationship will unfold. For now it's a secret between JW and CH.  Poor CH. He's always in the loop of the family's problem, but I like that JW acknowledges that CH is like a brother.   

[lalalaelala]

Omg I just finished ep 6 (a week behind). Maybe it's late and I cant comprehend, can someone explain to me how VP and EH started emailing each other?

 

I mean, that explains VPs attraction BUT still creepy that he catfished her! 

 

And the ending, oh CH. 

 

I will probably regret it tomorrow for starting ep 7 at 11:40pm. 

 

EDIT TO ADD: LMFAO GOOD ONE, SHOW. You got me there. Glad CH was somewhere else.

[africandramalover]

Eun Joo! My poor hearteu!!! That convo she had with Tae Hyung just broke me. To love someone is one thing, but to like them is unlocking a new level of emotion.

 

The revelation forced her to confront feelings she kept buried.

 

When you go into a relationship (or anything) with no expectations, you end up getting even more attached, and in her case, REALLY liking Tae Hyung. I noted that she used the word LIKE as opposed to Love in that moment.

 

She is obviously hurt because she really likes him, not just because he used her as a beard. She says that she slowly grew to like him. They both went into that marriage to use each other to get away from their families, but she did not expect to grow to like him. Maybe that's why she tried so hard for a child.

 

That affection that comes from liking someone is strong and so hard to uproot!! It creeps up on you and next thing you know, you are in love with said person and smiling to yourself like an idiot.

 

Falling in and out of love (In the romantic way) may be easier because of the bonding hormones involved, and those wear out after a while. Love is very self interested, you love how this person makes you feel ( that hormone rush!!). But LIKE is not just a feeling, it's genuine concern and care for the other person. More selfless than love, though not completely selfless. You care about the best for the other person. You are not incentivised by how they make you feel. You enjoy being around them. You genuinely want what's best for them, even when you get nothing from it. You are not overwhelmed by your desire for them, you see them as they are, with their flaws and annoying habits and still want to be around them. Many times I've been told that you should marry someone you love, but more importantly, you should LIKE them as a person.

 

At this point, I want some hot good-hearted man to appear before her!!!

 

I'm gonna rewatch the hell out of that scene......

 

As for Eun Hee's colleague!!! How could she bring that ex girlfriend???? I was beyond furious, but the scene was necessary for the tension and plot development it caused.

[Nodame]

@ponderings Yes money definitely was a root of their problems and resentments trying to try to survive in this harsh world. As we found our dad was injured and EJ worked a lot in her 20’s not enjoying life but taking over dad’s role as the main bread winner. A tough role for anyone but a young woman who should be having fun instead of shouldering her family’s financial burdens.

 

CH is the go to person for EH and JW. I love how JW loves that CH feels like a hyung in a family of women outnumbering the men. EH is comfortable to pick up from where they left off after she stopped talking by choice in 5 years. Glad they have warm and empathetic CH on their lives.

 

@lalalaelala If you haven’t figured out already , Mr Player used email of former intern who left and maintained correspondence with EH without letting her know he was not her. They exchanged emails that he fell for EH causing him to want to return back to Korea from the States.

 

@africandramalover Yes loved your comments on LOVE and LIKE and how that is for EJ’s case. The poor dear indeed . 

Plus agreed the colleague did mention out of the blue this acquaintance being Mr Player’s GF (she told him she knew)  though not close at all. The fact she met her then used her stylist services and introduced her to EH. She didn’t know of EH fling but the GF did. Very uncomfortable and disliked it. But it was a learning lesson being on the other side of the equation for her.

[blue003]

Question,
How did EH’s colleague realize that EH is dating VP?

[larus]

8 hours ago, ponderings said:

I am looking forward to the mom finding her own identity outside of her family life.

 I want that for her so much. It was so hard for her all those years. She loves her family and she decicated all these years to her family but I want to find her own identity and her own happiness. Even if he will accept again Sang Shik she should find what makes her happy. Her kids are grown up now.

 

3 hours ago, africandramalover said:

Eun Joo! My poor hearteu!!! That convo she had with Tae Hyung just broke me. To love someone is one thing, but to like them is unlocking a new level of emotion.

 

The revelation forced her to confront feelings she kept buried.

 

Just like she said, it was the saddest and useless profession of love ever. Because she liked/loved him, he found her burdersome. I think he has feelings for her too that`s why it was hard for him to confess about his sexual orientation. He knew he will broke her heart.

I am glad that we found out how they met. He liked how honest she was. She described his mother so well and he liked that about her. Her face when she found out that client was his mother.

I think they can stay friends. As I suspected, she would have hide from her family this issue but since her sister know she can`t do that. It is good that Eun hee knows. And I agree with Tae Hyeong that it is not good for her to remain married. They can be friends and she can find happiness again. But it is not easy for her right now.

 

I was sad to see Eun Hee pretend that she is the jovial friend in front of Chan hyeok. She hides her own feelings like the other women in the family now?

 

[blue003]

@larus

41 minutes ago, larus said:

I was sad to see Eun Hee pretend that she is the jovial friend in front of Chan hyeok. She hides her own feelings like the other women in the family now?

EH is a person who tries to make everyone happy. Her redeeming quality is that as soon as she recognizes her mistakes, she tries to fix them.(apologizing to EJ &CH) Now that since her brother has pointed out that she was taking advantage of CH, she is trying to keep a distance from CH. 

 

Hopefully, this will help her realize how people around her are. The way her colleague, VP & ex girlfriend were treating her might end up being a wake up call. Like EJ pointed out, EH has a tendency to play the victim card. She reacts impulsively but she does have everyone’s best interest in mind.

 

Maybe next week, we will see EH standing up for EJ when the identity of the true father is revealed. And maybe EH will finally dump VP and realize her self worth.

[chickfactor]

Man, this Geon-Joo and his crazy ex-girlfriend.

 

So she wanted to break up 3 years ago, and he tortured her (by stalking her?) and she's taking revenge now... okay, so why involve Eun-Hee in this psychodrama? Just break up, or torture each other and be miserable. Who cares? Don't involve other vulnerable people. Ugh, they are both trash.

 

No longer a fan of Eun-Hee's friend Gyeong-Ok, either. I don't know how much she knows, but she is enjoying this way too much to be a true friend. I enjoyed her airhead vibe - she seemed fun - but hey, don't mess with Eun-Hee.

 

Talk about people who can't quit each other - Chan-Hyeok and Eun-Hee. They cannot stay away from each other, try as they might. Just jump each other's bones already. 

 

Oh, Eun-Joo. Your love for your gay husband is breaking our hearts. But at least they can be more honest with each other now, which has got to be a relief for both of them.

 

Tae-Hyeong's mom is the worst. She's like the "procurer," the one who lures in potential beards for her gay son.

 

Is the message of this show = rich people are bad and they treat poor people like playthings? Because that analysis works.

 

Even more bitterness and recrimination to work through next week. See you then!  Love this show.

[ktcjdrama]

8 hours ago, ponderings said:

 

2) Money always seemed to be a problem in the family. The father secretly saved money in a bank account for EJ. On the other hand, the mother thought he kept the money for the other family he had. She had trouble raising her children and EJ suffered through it, having to substitute teach and tutor in the weekends. She wore cheap clothes and old shoes and survived through it. That explains why EJ is harsh and in a way, she's holding onto her mom's suffering. When EJ has problems herself, she finds a justification to let it out on her mom.

Do we know how long EJ been married? Dad said he saved for 7 years. So I think earlier in the marriage, he did withhold some earnings from JS that made it difficult for her to manage the household and made EJ having to work hard when younger to help the family finances. 

[nat_phoenix88]

I think CH EH scene in the preview is just to troll us. The preview is usually trick us haha. I think they're gonna need more time to sail the ship. Anyway.. That shocking truth of IGJ and his gf toxic relationship. Crazy relationship for years. Next, we'll face another shocking truth of EJ real father. I see a glimpse of Mr.Yoo in SS memory. Again.. I don't want to make a conclusion based on the short scene. The drama tricks us in a good way. Haha..

[Nymeria289]

My heart broke for the mother....Eun Joo had her struggles but why does she go out of her way to make her mother feel small, make her feel ashamed for prioritizing herself. Her father is an adult. Its like she refuses to see any role he has played in her misery/struggles. What I get from their conversations is Eun Joo's mother took her silence as a sign of maturity and relied heavily on that. It was a mistake. She relied on her to raise 3 kids to keep her family together when she shouldn't have. In Eun Joo's head, that was mother being unkind to her. But now that she has gone through major betrayal, breaking apart of her marriage...I am surprised she can understand her husband's point of view but refuses to acknowledge that as a woman her mother may have gone through something similar or worse. In episode 7, her mother admitted to her regret for no being able to do enough for Eun Joo or let her live the way other girls her age do. I am not saying Eun Joo has to let go of all resentment. But in episode 8, she just threw the bank account in her face to point out dad did more so how dare you try and get a divorce. Her mother is a woman, a human being. She is allowed to live happily, she is allowed something more than just sticking to a broken marriage for the sake of what, 3 grown adult kids who are capable of living their lives. Her mother is lonely. I just don't care for the three grown kids at this point. I hope her mother finds her identity, her life outside of her immediate family. Its suffocating her. Just because she did not try to tale her own life, does not mean that her feelings don't count here.

[blue003]

The parents marriage started off totally off balanced. The father had an insecurity of not being as well educated as the mother & the mother had to be obliged to the father for marrying her while she was carrying another man’s child. Adding to it were the financial crisis which happened when the father supposedly supported a second   Family. (We still don’t know what exactly has happened).
 

Worse part, was when the mother tried to self abort the brother by keeping EJ as a witness. On top of it, she had only stayed back in the marriage for the sake of her children. Both parents were unknowingly keeping a tally of the sacrifices they were making for the family.

 

All of the above reasons plus the non communication ended up in building resentments in the marriage. Both the adults are equally responsible for things to end up this way. Maybe the best way to move forward is a clean break. Let the parents take a break from each other and the children and then decide later on whether to reconcile or not.

[Nymeria289]

18 minutes ago, blue003 said:

The parents marriage started off totally off balanced. The father had an insecurity of not being as well educated as the mother & the mother had to be obliged to the father for marrying her while she was carrying another man’s child. Adding to it were the financial crisis which happened when the father supposedly supported a second   Family. (We still don’t know what exactly has happened).
 

Worse part, was when the mother tried to self abort the brother by keeping EJ as a witness. On top of it, she had only stayed back in the marriage for the sake of her children. Both parents were unknowingly keeping a tally of the sacrifices they were making for the family.

 

All of the above reasons plus the non communication ended up in building resentments in the marriage. Both the adults are equally responsible for things to end up this way. Maybe the best way to move forward is a clean break. Let the parents take a break from each other and the children and then decide later on whether to reconcile or not.

I second this....clean break from everyone.....I am not sure whst the dad did, actual cheating, one time accident...but miscommunications built and built and now nobody's happy

[Nodame]

@chickfactor Agreed over Mr Player (no matter how cute and handsome SDW is in the role) he is would not break up with his ex and now she is doing revenge on him. They deserve each other.

 

I cannot hate GO unni for EH, I don't think she is mean. She thought that EH liked her look, she was introducing her stylist that happens to be the hoobae (who she is not close to) and dating Mr. Player. (GO still doesn't know that EH is having a fling with Mr. Player and she told him to keep it down low at the office. They could have been caught but not yet by her.I think GO unni doesn't see it. She was the one who told her Mr. Player had a GF of 9 years.)

 

@larus I agree I want mom to be happy.. Heck I want EVERYONE to be happy. But seeing their journey together in life, I am glad some things happened though not happy. EJ and EH making up, Mom asking for graduation from marriage (Not ideal) but trying to take back her life, Dad getting amnesia and briefly being sweet and nice but now his memory is back. EJ finding out about TH (She must have sensed something but was in denial for her growing feelings for TH.) TH in turn feeling it resented her as he could not deliver or reciprocate her feelings. JW hiding working with CH (in the beginning). Everyone has their secrets. 

 

@ktcjdrama  Good questions, def not sure how long TH and EJ are married ---but I feel that the money saved by dad was out of guilt and  wanting to do something back. JS did suffer, EJ suffered and all around suffering. Who is truly happy in this family? I can only think JW doesn't have too much trauma and working for CH at least working. He says he has a secret GF, I don't believe it. It is just a front and I agree with CH he is lying. Why would he say SY is pretty out of the blue. Why would he like drinking outside with SY (if he was dating). He barely has money for dates nor time and plays games all the time at work to avoid going home to mom. (Def NOT dating,)

 

Using money to solve all issues and yeah TH mom as a procurer of a beard for her son. Dang she knew she could dangle her handsome some who is a DR with a rich family background, who in their right mind looking in would not consider him as IDEAL marriage material.

 

@nat_phoenix88 Being trolled by writer nim's not new. But I am ok as we know they are at LEAST started the seeds of realizing they MUTUALLY like each other. No one confessed to the other when they were hanging out alot, so just worrying about the friendship being ruined. (True friendships last longer than relationships if they go south or wrong).  EH treasures him but she easily dropped him out of her life too for the last 5  years. The hurt and pain CH (the softie) must have felt. I agree JW was so right now defending CH hyung saying it is all on your TIME/Opinon your friendship to drop it and pick it up. (She did not consider CH feelings and just bull dozed her way---cause she feels comfortable with him.)

 

@Nymeria289 I was sad that EJ had to say harsh words to mom. Though she would regret it and admitted she shouldn't have added to mom's burdens and feelings of guilt, it did not make it better. As EH said, EJ can cut people down with words. (CH did not think she is like that-but he never seen that side of her--how could he? He is not that close to her and she would NEVER show that side of herself to strangers and CH is a stranger to her.) So she was uncomfortable and maybe a wee envious that EH asked CH to be with her to go see TH. EJ--CH knows way more than you think though you don't know him well. 

 

@blue003 Yup, EH is how you say it. I want her too and realize her worth and dump Mr Player. Seems like already the frissures in their weak fling/ some relationship is cracking. Yes she is the people pleaser. But to family she still not always the case. For long time the ignoring mom's calls and being cold to EJ for five years.  EJ was wrong to say harsh things but you know she has a tendency to do it without thinking of the other's feelings. 

 

Spoiler

EJ reminds me of my dad. His words cut like a knife and he is so not caring about the other person's feelings or reactions.  My life coach did not think when I told her about his words were half that bad. She did not believe me. Well after spending time with him (he as on good behavior) she decided to stop all contact with him. (I don't have that luxury, I just held it in and and put up with it.)But I have to remind myself (thanks to my life coach) that the words do have truth in it. As my parents always say, we will say the harsh truth and not sugar coat it to you as we see it.  But we would not waste on iota of saliva or talk to you another moment if you were not loved and cared. So when my dad complains or says things to me he is not happy with me or criticizing me,  have to remember fundamentally though ugly words--he does love me to waste time and energy and saliva to say these things to me. I have many friends who have lost their parent/parents and WISH they could still have them with them. I realize chatting with friends, we all have people who are TOUGH with us. So that makes this drama more real and poignant for me.

 

Learning forgiveness is not easy, but has eased my  heart. I had mentioned earlier I had a talk (more blowout) first time my whole life--- was cathartic, painful, upsetting, teary but glad confronted my dad. (I knew I would never do it again as I am usually more agreeable and cater to him. But had to let him know his selfish ways and lack of courtesy to others was only mildly put up with.) Inter-generational and cultural differences definitely came into play but we are working on being better with one another.

 

 Looking forward to our family next week need to get back to work.

[Nymeria289]

@Nodame I honestly think her mother needs to like take a year of somewhere far away from her grown up kids, at some points you have to take responsibility for your own unhappiness......what I am saying is, she is running out of justifiable reasons for her frankly shitty behavior.... her mother, she will run out patience at some point with her and I don't think I can blame her at this point...her birth secret, that has not contributed to her misery...it has played a direct role in some of the misunderstanding in her parent's marriage but she was not discriminated because of that.....you can only put up with so much, her mother seems inching closer and closer to that limit. 

[bee_wannabe]

Finally got the time to watch ep 7 and 8. This drama is painfully realistic.

 

The parents : both suffered but they suffered alone not willing to be honest and share their frustation/fear/insecurity to each other leading to the unbearable exhaustion they can no longer bear. I feel like screaming to them, to all the main character actually, to just sit together and honestly say what they felt respectively so they can all see each other's pov. They all just need some time and communication to understand each other's position.

 

Eun Joo : i always cried at her scenes. She got intuitive and judging traits that makes her easily understand a person, situation, problem right away. She can figure the solution to almost everything right away because she understands the real problem behind all the clouded complications. But she has problem communicating it warmly and kindly. She's blunt and honest making people, who sometimes just want to be heard and understood instead of seeking for rational advise that can slap them even more, feel hurt by her words. What she said to her mom is actually mirroring what she wants to tell to TH. She and her father shares the same sentiment when the other person (mom and TH) suddenly drop the bomb and push them to end things abruptly when this thing they ask to let go (family) is everything to EJ and dad. While mom and TH have known or planned this for a long time, hence in EJ's words "prepared", EJ and dad felt it's so sudden. That experience of hearing it so suddenly itself is traumatic enough to lead people thinking about suicide. While her words are right, but at the same time, she should also understand that hiding it (TH) and planning it (mom) for a long time is not an easy things either. It's suffocating for mom and TH too holding it for that long. You could never be truly prepared for that kind of thing.

 

I feel something's off about JW's girlfriend. Crazy things and possibilities crossed my mind but i'll just wait patiently for the writer to reveal it later.