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[Mainland Chinese Drama 2020] Go Ahead 以家人之名


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I admit I am sensitive to LX situation. I know what it's like to be blamed for things I had very little control over. I know what it means to be in a toxic family. I've seen how hard it is on caregive

I was so disheartened by the attitude of someone in this thread, that I could not make any more posts.  But I just have to "share" the following pieces of informations with you all:   Piece

Just want to share this with everyone.   In ep 20, after finding out about Ling Xiao's insomnia,  JJ & MY decorated his room - so that he will feel more relaxed.  JJ placed a "Book" against his pi

I wish the horrible mommy scene can ends tonight.. i don't want to see her anymore... i don't want to see LX suffering ... I wish Li Ba and Ling Ba come to his rescue ! CT needs to see doctor ! She is ruining both her son and daughter! 

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@Dundee I hoped not. But according to the previews, based on what they r wearing, it is the same day LX told JJ that his mum and little orange not going back to Singapore and r looking at apartments near their place. Also, the same day LX kissed JJ in front of his mum and little orange. 
 

@cheekychipmunk_stv I don’t think the hospital scene is the one when mum had the accident. I don’t recall LX smiling at her in the hospital. There’s also a scene where they showed LX holding the mum’s hand in the hospital... is it a reconciliation of sorts?
 

@luluponyazn Yes. It was like a joke. The actress who acted as LX’s mum asked why she didn’t get food and the backstage crew replied because her character is too hateful.

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1 hour ago, visiopeia said:

 

@luvhollandlop and @Dundee Maybe the mom went back hometown to visit her family and Little Orange doesn't want to go therefore she stay at JJ's place .. due to her brother's place is very inconvenient (boys place) 

And she said she and her mom doesn’t like JJ LOL, these two unbelievable :D

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5 hours ago, Mercipourleslivres said:

I get that LX is feeling desperate but he needs to man up and deal with his mom. I know he’s traumatized but him silently taking everything all these years has made him a rug she loves to walk all over.

 

The writers seemed to emphasize Li Dad’s worry about LX & LJJ relationship. I think he knows that LX isn’t in a healthy enough place to be together with LJJ right now. I worry about LX’s mental state too, but LJJ can’t be his entire world/medicine. 
 

This is more of an American term but LX has “fleas.” He was raised by an abusive mom so even tho he’s a good person at heart, he still exhibits unhealthy behaviors that he inherited from his upbringing. Stuff like fixating on LJJ and daydreaming about their happiness, isn’t that almost like what his mom is doing to him, just not as extreme? Anyways, I love this show so much as it does such a realistic job of portraying toxic family relationships.


As for a time jump...I don’t like them but it might be necessary...I can see LJJ saying no to his proposal until he and his mom get help.

 

I am bothered by the idea that people expect LX to “Man Up.”

 

I think LX is strong person. He’s been caring for his mom and sister since he was 18. When he was little he was the buffer between his parents. Does he need to be stronger? When his mom came back after abandoning him, LX did confront her. Did it change anything? Do you think she is listening? Do you think she can emphasize with her own son? 

 

No of course not, because she is unhinged. LX’s mom is a pathetic sick human. She is the opposite of her son, unable to do deal with adversity, she lashes out at people and refused to take any responsibility. She relies heavily on the people around her to feel some kind of control

 

I dislike his mom, but I acknowledge that she has had too many bad things happen to her. Big things: losing a child, losing a spouse, losing your mobility. I know may people who are forced to care for their sickly parents and its hard for the caretaker, for sure. But it’s very hard for the sick to be so helpless. Am I justifying her cruel behaviour? No, absolutely not! But she was helpless and he took responsibility when the full grown adults around him did not.

 

Characters like LX are being responsible, patient, and mature.

 

You see throughout the drama because he was the oldest child, the responsibilities always fell on him. It was always him who had to watch over his siblings (his first sister, LJJ and HZQ, and little Orange), him who had to be dutiful during his grandmother’s death, and him who has to take care of his mom. He was shoved into maturity.

 

But you see throughout the drama how rare it is that anyone takes care of him, except the Li Family (Li Ba, LJJ, HZQ)

 

I think it’s time that his family help take care of him. So that he can breath a little. Not for LX to once again have to deal with everything on his own. You can see some of his family member trying to help including his little sister, who convinced his mom to return the passport. LJJ who decorated his bedroom and tries to help him to open up about his time in Singapore. Even Ling Ba who is in denial about his son’s trauma knows he needs too try more and takes him to the Chinese medicine doctor.

 

I’m sorry for this essay but I am a little frustrated because I’ve been reading about how LX needs to “Man Up”. I think he’s been man enough now. What  he needs to be saved and cared for. He needs to be given a chance to heal and be healthy.  

 

 

Edited by funnypeopleswim
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@funnypeopleswim I agree LX is the mature one, evident in the points u made. He was always (as JJ puts it) cleaning up after ZQ’s and JJ’s mess. 
 

I think the Writers created both ZQ and LX as very realistic characters with serious flaws due to trauma they faced as well as their personalities. ZQ believed he was given up because he was a liability. He worked hard to make himself useful. LX believed he was given up because he was guilty of killing his sister. I think he didn’t believe he deserved to be loved and that he deserves punishment until Li Ba and JJ came into his life. During the period when mum met with the accident, his uncle criticised him for not shedding tears, made reference to sister’s death and insisted that he had to take care of his mum. It didn’t help that his mother was too weak to face her mistake and blamed it on LX. It didn’t help that she was so depressed in Singapore that she sought multiple times to end her life not being able to care how her behaviour is hurting her children. LX probably viewed it as his due punishment. And he deserved the hell hole he was living in Singapore. He needs to know the sister’s death was an accident which he could not have done much. He tried to get help but they were locked in. He had done what he could as a young child. His mother on the other hand need to come to terms that in this accident she has a responsibility to play and get therapy. I think she couldn’t face the responsibility thus she shifted the blame on LX. Perhaps with that acceptance, she will free herself from the guilt and start seeing why she chose to locked the children at home (maybe for safety reasons?), or that it was really an accident with serious consequences to pay. And that is life.

I find it horrible that after many years, her not facing up is going to continue to haunt people around her. LX, little orange, JJ etc. She is blinded to how people r reacting towards her behaviour. That calm exterior covers up a seriously ill person. She would say things that meant to hurt with a smile. That is not ok. She is angry but covers up with a smiling exterior. Eg. She referenced JJ causing harm to little orange (the incident that was an accident due to little orange being careless when they were younger), after meeting JJ at LX’s apartment.  Her speech to Li Ba and Ling Ba at LX’s birthday dinner with a calming smile but meant to cause hurt... That is mental illness to me.

I really think that if she continues, and LX doesn’t gain insight that he is not at fault for sister’s death... LX will get a mental breakdown.

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Hi guys! Thank you all for your thoughts/posts and sometimes small recaps of this drama! I rely on you guys to have my much needed spoilers since I have to wait for eng subs. 

 

I am still at the quarter of ep 33 and may I say that I am already done with LX's mom and her sh*tshow? :joy:. I don't wish her bad, but hope she won't create too much trouble and let others live their lives. Everybody was just fine without her in the picture :joy:.  

 

As for ZQ's mom, He Mei, I like her a lot! Am I the only one who finds her and JJ's dad so cute together? 

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I am thinking how Little Orange feels about moving back to China? Little Orange may not want to move back to China since she grew up in Singapore. The mother is not making sound decision...

 

Oh dear... I just saw a clip of the latest episode... Little Orange wanted to go back to Singapore... mum ignored her wishes... 

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4 hours ago, funnypeopleswim said:

 

I am bothered by the idea that people expect LX to “Man Up.”

 

I think LX is strong person. He’s been caring for his mom and sister since he was 18. When he was little he was the buffer between his parents. Does he need to be stronger? When his mom came back after abandoning him, LX did confront her. Did it change anything? Do you think she is listening? Do you think she can emphasize with her own son? 

 

No of course not, because she is unhinged. LX’s mom is a pathetic sick human. She is the opposite of her son, unable to do deal with adversity, she lashes out at people and refused to take any responsibility. She relies heavily on the people around her to feel some kind of control

 

I dislike his mom, but I acknowledge that she has had too many bad things happen to her. Big things: losing a child, losing a spouse, losing your mobility. I know may people who are forced to care for their sickly parents and its hard for the caretaker, for sure. But it’s very hard for the sick to be so helpless. Am I justifying her cruel behaviour? No, absolutely not! But she was helpless and he took responsibility when the full grown adults around him did not.

 

Characters like LX are being responsible, patient, and mature.

 

You see throughout the drama because he was the oldest child, the responsibilities always fell on him. It was always him who had to watch over his siblings (his first sister, LJJ and HZQ, and little Orange), him who had to be dutiful during his grandmother’s death, and him who has to take care of his mom. He was shoved into maturity.

 

But you see throughout the drama how rare it is that anyone takes care of him, except the Li Family (Li Ba, LJJ, HZQ)

 

I think it’s time that his family help take care of him. So that he can breath a little. Not for LX to once again have to deal with everything on his own. You can see some of his family member trying to help including his little sister, who convinced his mom to return the passport. LJJ who decorated his bedroom and tries to help him to open up about his time in Singapore. Even Ling Ba who is in denial about his son’s trauma knows he needs too try more and takes him to the Chinese medicine doctor.

 

I’m sorry for this essay but I am a little frustrated because I’ve been reading about how LX needs to “Man Up”. I think he’s been man enough now. What  he needs to be saved and cared for. He needs to be given a chance to heal and be healthy.  

 

 

Maybe “man up” was too harsh a description to use...I guess because I’ve only seen LX react very passively to his mom so far. Like we can tell he’s upset and uncomfortable but we don’t really see him go against her in a clear forceful way. You’re probably right that even if he did, it might not make a difference since she’s such a sick individual. I’m just tired of watching him sit and take it. 
 

If it ends up that he can’t deal with his mom by himself, I want his family to be a united front and take her on together. Both dads, LJJ and HZQ.

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4 minutes ago, luvhollandlop said:

I am thinking how Little Orange feels about moving back to China? Little Orange may not want to move back to China since she grew up in Singapore. The mother is not making sound decision...

LX mom is just using Little Orange as an excuse to move back to China. She doesn't want to let LX lead his own life. She wants to chain him to her for the rest of his life. She wants to control him as a way that her life seems to be in her control and orderly. She needs to dominante someone to feel she is whole & superior and not a handicap. 

 

 

MY confrontation with her mom. Like LX, MY is also suffocating under her mom's control but her mom is a bit less toxic than LX mom. Finally she burst n tell her mom off. MY is in better shape than LX hence she has the ability to confront her mom at least. LX grew up under his mom threats and maniac depression state for 9 years. At 18 years old, it was crucial and formative years of a young adult. His growing up mental state was severely impacted by her. He definitely will not be able to confront and stand up for himself.  He will go into deep depression first. Right now he feels he is slowly losing everything he holds dear again. He is in a panic mode again. I feel he kissed JJ out of desperation to feel some sanity in his world that is orbiting out of control.

 

 

 

6 minutes ago, Mercipourleslivres said:

Maybe “man up” was too harsh a description to use...I guess because I’ve only seen LX react very passively to his mom so far. Like we can tell he’s upset and uncomfortable but we don’t really see him go against her in a clear forceful way. You’re probably right that even if he did, it might not make a difference since she’s such a sick individual. I’m just tired of watching him sit and take it. 
 

If it ends up that he can’t deal with his mom by himself, I want his family to be a united front and take her on together. Both dads, LJJ and HZQ.

 

It will be difficult for him as he was abused mentally since he was little and from 18 to 27 years old. That's a long time. Normally emotionally and mentally abused victim can't stand up to their aggressor because they feel fear, intimidation and is locked in that fear mode. The fear paralysed them to a great extend that these victims can't think, shakes in fear just hearing or seeing their aggressor. Their mental state enclose their mind to a point they can't see that they can break away/out of this fear and tear down their aggressor n that they don't have to fear their aggressor.  Their aggressor is just a big bully. Someone has to lead them to realise that.  To have LX man up and confront his mom suddenly in this drama will not be realistic. It has to be something drastic to happen before he can break free of that hold.

 

 

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My pov is asian parents are control- freaks, really!!!! they want to control their children until they get married unless they move out and be independent.  Some parents even hit them/shout at them after they grow up in front of anybody and not privately too which is so embarassing.  

Here MY is already in a job and can earn herself a living.  Her mom is &*(()))%%$$#.  We see 3  types of moms here, all of them annoying in their own way.  Even though HZ mom is not as annoying like the other two, she is also a bad example in a different way.  I am curious as to the ending and the mom's realisation of their mistakes which has greatly affected their children.

My blood boiled when i saw the video posted above on how MY's mom attitude towards her daughter when she is already 25+ years. 

just leave them alone.  These days all the children are super smart and they can manage their lives very well with responsibility even when they happen to be playful in their school days.  Adults can just give their opinions and advice them, only if they approach you for one.  otherwise dont control them.  only then the parents will be respected by their children.

I am just talking here about only MY mom.  I dont want to rant on CT, LX mom.  She is a big &^%$#&*())(*&^%$#@.  I have no words to curse her.

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MY’s confrontation with mum is quite painful to watch. Her mum really believed she had done her best for her child. She believed her way is the best way. She could not see things from MY’s point of view. MY wanted to experience life, be allowed to make mistakes etc. I can’t believe her mum would even entertained the thought that TC is the cause of MY’s “change in behaviour”. Took MY all her strength to confront her mum.
 

I am reminded to take into consideration other person’s point of view and try to understand differences. If I can’t agree, I can at least respect the differences.

Looks like LX’s dad is stepping up in Episode 40! Drama gods heard our cries.

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Omg! All the clips on 1tea_dramalovers Instagram! LX tells his mom off for treating JJ badly!

https://www.instagram.com/p/CEo0cvuJlMu/?utm_source=ig_embed


Oops I’m sorry, should I delete the whole link? 

Edited by Mercipourleslivres
Unfortunately due to court rulings we're not permitted to embedd IG links!
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ep.40 was so cute.  It was like HZ is the head of the family disciplining the children LX, JJ and especially LX sister.  Actually LX sister heeds to whatever HZ say.  So, he should be the one to straighten her. hehe.  She is not so bratty but under huge stress like LX from their mom.  Its good to see JJ tease her dad with HM(HZ mom).  TC and HZ friend is also cute.  

Its good see all of the young hearts meet, talk, laugh and drink together.  So sweet.  Its a stress-reliever in todays competitive world.  

Hope everything goes well and ends in a good way. 

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Sneak preview

 

http://weibointl.api.weibo.com/share/169959210.html?weibo_id=4544831580277030

 

Lx mom is pure evil. She has no redeeming qualities at all. She should not be a mom at all.

 

 

Hahaha ... papa Li needs someone like ZQ mom to shut those nosy old ladies up. U go girl!

 

http://weibointl.api.weibo.com/share/169960606.html?weibo_id=4544835832776457

 

 

Hahaha ... only ZQ can handle little orange behavior. He don't give face or accept her rudeness.  He has been trained by JJ since he was little so now his turn to discipline Little Orange. Like the way he said "If u don't behave, I give u a beating." N i like the way he told her to be polite to MY. :joy:

 

http://weibointl.api.weibo.com/share/169961418.html?weibo_id=4544849921709518

 

 

 

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