[Drama 2020] Once Again, 한번다녀왔습니다

[Nodame]

@chickfactor @fluffyloaf Yup HK was harsh on JS when she made a mistake, JS did not do the same she did to him. But agreed that JS is too lenient on his daughter SY skipping so FREQUENTLY from Hagwon. (Poor mom is working to pay tuition that is NOT cheap) worrying about her future. In that sense that is wrong of the daughter to do that constantly. 

 

I am glad to know that GH is someone SY can talk too.

 

Yes, HK was not PERMITTING him to see the kids but more arranged times to see them. But it is hard when they seemed to see each other more frequently than that. So who is taking care of the SJ then during the day if JS parents are not watching her? Didn't she have issues finding care before and at least with JS parents it is free. But if she is not using them, she has to rely on others/paid care. We have not seen much of her family (then again not issue here) .

 

@chickfactor Thanks for the preview.

 

OHHHHH that mom with the sick son, GJ totally warned her about watching and he needed to be supervised. HER negligence and not caring for her son's well being just wanting some meds to cover his symptoms and stress. She has POOR parenting and to blame the doctor who DID not want to release the son. Even the poor son was stressed and knew even trying to rebel or disagree would not work. She is a bully and working her son to the brink of death is STILL not enough to get back to sanity and her senses? 

Glad that NH is defending GJ and that is so her to do it. Seeing the situation she is quick on these cases to figure it out.

 

JS and JW over DH, poor gal. In that preview clip he figures out they are sadon relationship and hiding their relationship (based on VO). He knew to take her to the restaurant where JS and mom were eating (I doubt DH would ask to go there if them two as she is an unemployed student. ) as that place doesn't look cheap. Seems like Jiwon must come from a family of means. He must have been charmed by her cute notebook (when he helped her with her fallen books) and DH cute response saying she is not that bright so she tries to use methods to help her study. DH has a cute charm about her. Heck, JS colleague before they were even an item wanted to get an introduction to her saying she was his type. JS shut that down so fast. LOL.

 

Disliking Yeon Hong and hope we can end this ARC ASAP and such a leech. I don't like her ungratefulness and CY is too sweet and loyal. There are limits to kindness and generousity. She has been a SAINT with YH. I was so through with her when she dissing others and TRIED to look for stuff in CY's room to hawk. (Hello that is not your stuff!)

 

Looking forward to the cute scenes of GH asking HS to model with her for her shopping mall, in the preview they looked CUTE!

[eLizza]

23 hours ago, Nodame said:

But agreed that JS is too lenient on his daughter SY skipping so FREQUENTLY from Hagwon. (Poor mom is working to pay tuition that is NOT cheap) worrying about her future

If I m not wrong HK once spoke about the terms of divorce that JS won't need to pay for child support but instead his parents will find a place to accommodate them and also pay for the tution fee.. I guess this thing was discussed when JS found out that HK was acting as a driver for rent and he offered her some money to ease her burden.

[Nodame]

@eLizza Thanks! I must have missed it or not paid attention. Awww. Still even so, money for tuition is not cheap. My Korean mom friends tell me the cost in small towns outside of Seoul, so it is not cheap. The grandparents work so hard to not help themselves but all their kids and grandkids too. Though that is the Asian family way and definitely in Korea but still not easy to do. They work so hard frying chicken. I don't see them making or taking many breaks. Having worked in a Kitchen, it is not easy.

[dramaninja]

This has to be leading up to something now

 

[foreverempress]

On 7/8/2020 at 6:48 AM, chickfactor said:

 

 

I do agree that she's overreacting. It's not like he's a real danger to their kids. But the older daughter does use the dad as an excuse to ditch her "hagwon" (after school classes), and he lets her. That's not helpful.

 

So I think HK feels like she needs to put some distance between herself and his family because she feels disrespected by how everyone seems to regard this divorce as something she just needs to get over. She never said he can't see their children, she's just setting boundaries, which 

 

No. She does not have the right to do that and if the father had half a brain he'll go back and get custody readjusted. You cannot use your children for revenge just because you're angry; his is what she does which is not healthy. It only serves her ego but cuts her children from having a father unless it's on her terms; that is controlling. Custody should be taken from her for leaving her children late at night by themselves while she was working a job without proper child care. I detest it when parents use their children to vent out their frustration.

[Nodame]

@foreverempress I agree, good points.  Yes, when she had the night time driver job and did not have proper childcare assuming eldest to do it all. ( I mean she could as she is old enough--I had to do that as a latch key kid) but that is a lot to handle.

 

Totally agree on not using your kids as pawns for the adult's fights.  I hope this arc is not dragged out. So no wonder SY acts out and glad that GH at least is someone she can turn to talk. (I wouldn't want her to turn to her friends.)

 

@dramaninja Thanks for the video. Reminding us all the scenes of the OTP for the latest episodes. Glad BY is out and redeemed herself. Now it is GY being honest to NH and her opportunity to study in New York. That flashback to when they were in school her learning English and dragging him saying OF COURSE you are coming to NY with me. You want to die?! LOL.  Their flashbacks are sweet. But easy to recall the good times and conveniently sweep over the bad times too.

 

As I mentioned before, looking forward to seeing GH and HS working together for her shopping mall. Her son is just the sweetest. The child actor is so good. Since I saw him here, I have seen him in many dramas lately, he is cute and talented. Love that I saw him more in another current drama too--I def hope to see way more of him.

 

Glad the market women like CY and are all ok with her. Her leech of a friend, she causes havoc with the loan sharks causing a ruckus, how will that big DEBT be resolved? 

 

I wonder how they will move forward about the CY and YD (siblings story they have stalled that for now).

[lampard7]

18 hours ago, dramaninja said:

This has to be leading up to something now

 

they removed the video and then uploaded it again.WHY?

 

[dramaninja]

3 hours ago, lampard7 said:

they removed the video and then uploaded it again.WHY?

 

 

To make me look like a fool thats why! 

[Nodame]

Video of our Sadon couple to tide us over (of most recent episodes)

 

 

[letsgoa_s]

Lee Sang Yi (Jae Seok) is singing an OST for the drama.

 

 

Also, someone posted the full video of Lee Sang Yi doing the dance from "Rainism" as a teenager.

 

[chickfactor]

On 7/9/2020 at 4:19 PM, foreverempress said:

No. She does not have the right to do that and if the father had half a brain he'll go back and get custody readjusted. You cannot use your children for revenge just because you're angry; his is what she does which is not healthy. It only serves her ego but cuts her children from having a father unless it's on her terms; that is controlling. Custody should be taken from her for leaving her children late at night by themselves while she was working a job without proper child care. I detest it when parents use their children to vent out their frustration.

 

 

That's a really terrible idea.

 

There is no way he will get more custody when Seo-Jin was recently seriously injured while in his care. He's more likely to lose whatever custody rights he has.

 

In order to readjust custody, he would need to prove that she is an unfit parent and that he is better able to care for the kids, and that is just not true. The court would look at whether he has his own place and how much money he makes. He currently lives in his parent's house sharing a room with three other men. Legally, there's just no way.

 

Aside from that, is she really such a bad mom to her kids? She is not.

 

He loves his kids, but he's more of a "fun dad" who lets them get away with stuff, and she's the one doing the actual no fun work of being a responsible parent.

 

And the reason she left the kids home alone is because she needed to make money to support them and he didn't pay any child support until very recently. It's not like she left them alone so she could go out to have fun. And it's not like she habitually neglects them. In fact, the principle cause of their divorce is because he was irresponsible and a poor provider.

 

So legally, there is no way things will work out in his favor if he pursues custody readjustment. And aside from that, a bitter custody fight will be very hurtful to the children, and *that* would be using the kids for revenge. Not to mention, it would also make sure that she will never consider getting back together with him, which is what he wants.

 

Anyway, Joon-Seon himself is becoming finally fully aware of how he failed as a father and husband, which is the reason that he is sad - not because she's such a mean person who is taking the kids away from him for no reason. He is finally realizing that his happy-go-lucky approach to life has hurt his wife and kids, so he's going to change his ways. It would make no sense at all for him to go to court to try and take the kids away from his ex-wife.

[Nodame]

@chickfactor I couldn’t have said it better I regards to JS and his ex. His only way now us to abide by his ex . I agree he is a good fun dad but his wife has been bearing the brunt of the responsibility of raising her girls.

 

@letsgoa_s Thanks for sharing LSY Rainism cover. After hearing about it a few weekends ago I was curious of his viral dance cover. He was really good!

Edited July 11, 2020 by Nodame

[foreverempress]

2 hours ago, chickfactor said:

 

 

That's a really terrible idea.

 

There is no way he will get more custody when Seo-Jin was recently seriously injured while in his care. He's more likely to lose whatever custody rights he has.

 

In order to readjust custody, he would need to prove that she is an unfit parent and that he is better able to care for the kids, and that is just not true. The court would look at whether he has his own place and how much money he makes. He currently lives in his parent's house sharing a room with three other men. Legally, there's just no way.

 

Aside from that, is she really such a bad mom to her kids? She is not.

 

He loves his kids, but he's more of a "fun dad" who lets them get away with stuff, and she's the one doing the actual no fun work of being a responsible parent.

 

And the reason she left the kids home alone is because she needed to make money to support them and he didn't pay any child support until very recently. It's not like she left them alone so she could go out to have fun. And it's not like she habitually neglects them. In fact, the principle cause of their divorce is because he was irresponsible and a poor provider.

 

So legally, there is no way things will work out in his favor if he pursues custody readjustment. And aside from that, a bitter custody fight will be very hurtful to the children, and *that* would be using the kids for revenge. Not to mention, it would also make sure that she will never consider getting back together with him, which is what he wants.

 

Anyway, Joon-Seon himself is becoming finally fully aware of how he failed as a father and husband, which is the reason that he is sad - not because she's such a mean person who is taking the kids away from him for no reason. He is finally realizing that his happy-go-lucky approach to life has hurt his wife and kids, so he's going to change his ways. It would make no sense at all for him to go to court to try and take the kids away from his ex-wife.

I believe you are wrong, but to each its own. IN the US, specifically in Tennessee where real life abides and not Kdrama fiction, they would have shared custody even with the accident and would be referred for family services such a family therapy and mediation. How do I know this? I am a practicing marriage & family therapist that receives referrals in issues like this,  AND, my late cousin (died April , who was a Department of Child Services supervisor for 15 out of 20 years of working with families along with facilitating child removals from homes. Legally,  when you pay child support, you have the right to visitation and it is not necessarily set on terms of the custodial parent. Unless he has had his parental right terminated, which he did not, she is dead wrong! He would not have to prove that she is unfit because his parental rights are not terminated. He could legally request visitation and new custody arrangement (Korean Civil Act 837. 5). On top of everything, she held a late night job, forced her teen daughter to babysit, the youngest child became missing, and this is all while under her having primary custody; they would consider what she did as being irresponsible and a direct threat to the care of the child. I have had to play this song and dance with families in court and have seen first hand how it goes down.

 

Second, both of them failed their marriage and their kids. BOTH!!!!! The court would likely split custody. Their cultural context is always in play with the court system. Using your children as a weapon of punishment will almost ALWAYS place you on the wrong side of the court. FACTS! Korea is a collectivist society so they frown on single parenting severely. The fact that he lives with his family and has an extended network of family plays to his advantage.  That family needs mediation and joint custody because these children do not deserve to be in the middle of a war between a passive father that takes the blame for everything and an aggressive mother that blames everybody, but herself for everything. In Korea, they will be looking for the BEST interest of the child and not the best interest of the mother or father. If the parties cannot agree, the judge is required by law to set a visitation schedule which includes overnight stays with the father. Legally, he is still considered a fit parent. The judge will set firm boundaries so that the kids will not be in a tug of war that they are in now which is at the mercy of their mother's mood. Children also have visitation rights as well and the teenage daughter is old enough to ask for them (Korean Civil Act 837-2.1).

[chickfactor]

1 hour ago, foreverempress said:

I believe you are wrong, but to each its own. IN the US, specifically in Tennessee where real life abides and not Kdrama fiction, they would have shared custody even with the accident and would be referred for family services such a family therapy and mediation. How do I know this? I am a practicing marriage & family therapist that receives referrals in issues like this,  AND, my late cousin (died April , who was a Department of Child Services supervisor for 15 out of 20 years of working with families along with facilitating child removals from homes. Legally,  when you pay child support, you have the right to visitation and it is not necessarily set on terms of the custodial parent. Unless he has had his parental right terminated, which he did not, she is dead wrong! He would not have to prove that she is unfit because his parental rights are not terminated. He could legally request visitation and new custody arrangement (Korean Civil Act 837. 5). On top of everything, she held a late night job, forced her teen daughter to babysit, the youngest child became missing, and this is all while under her having primary custody; they would consider what she did as being irresponsible and a direct threat to the care of the child. I have had to play this song and dance with families in court and have seen first hand how it goes down.

 

Second, both of them failed their marriage and their kids. BOTH!!!!! The court would likely split custody. Their cultural context is always in play with the court system. Using your children as a weapon of punishment will almost ALWAYS place you on the wrong side of the court. FACTS! Korea is a collectivist society so they frown on single parenting severely. The fact that he lives with his family and has an extended network of family plays to his advantage.  That family needs mediation and joint custody because these children do not deserve to be in the middle of a war between a passive father that takes the blame for everything and a aggressive mother that blames everybody, but herself for everything. In Korea, they will be looking for the BEST interest of the child and not the best interest of the mother or father. If the parties cannot agree, the judge is required by law to set a visitation schedule which includes overnight stays with the father. Legally, he is still considered a fit parent. The judge will set firm boundaries so that the kids will not be in a tug of war that they are in now which is at the mercy of their mother's mood. Children also have visitation rights as well and the teenage daughter is old enough to ask for them (Korean Civil Act 837-2.1).

 

 

Everything you are talking about would escalate this situation FAR beyond what is warranted and would make things SO much worse for this family.

 

And I think it's really puzzling that you are accusing the mom of using the kids to get revenge but you are simultaneous suggesting that is exactly what he should to do her "if he had half a brain." How is that a solution here?

 

I'm glad that these state agencies/programs exist to protect children who really are being neglected/abused but there is no indication that any of that has anything to do with this family.

[foreverempress]

1 hour ago, chickfactor said:

 

 

Everything you are talking about would escalate this situation FAR beyond what is warranted and would make things SO much worse for this family.

 

And I think it's really puzzling that you are accusing the mom of using the kids to get revenge but you are simultaneous suggesting that is exactly what he should to do her "if he had half a brain." How is that a solution here?

 

I'm glad that these state agencies/programs exist to protect children who really are being neglected/abused but there is no indication that any of that has anything to do with this family.

I am talking about facts, law, and professional experience; not opinion. What you are suggesting is one sided and a power alliance with the mother. What I am suggesting looks at both parties and the entire system for what they have presented themselves so far to be which is why the writers should have fleshed out their entire back story. Both have shown negligence. Neglect is consider by definition child abuse and when you leave your child at night without proper care, despite having the resources to get them proper care with their grandparents that have shown explicit interest in doing so, that is neglectful and spiteful. Both of them need mediation and clear rules that protects the interest of both children. He is too passive and she is too aggressive; those are fictional facts. Follow the facts. Every time he messes up in her eyes, she becomes disappointed and tries to mitigate time with the children or talk about how he is not good enough. He admits his flaws, but needs to put in a better plan to show more action. When their child was missing, he told her the truth, but showed her grace even by smoothing things over with the eldest daughter after she SMACKED her in the face. FOLLOW the facts.  He could do well for 10 months, make one error, and then she will snatch the children. Do you realize how humiliating it is for a mother to tell the father of her children he can only see them in public places? What's the solution at this point? Court mediation before things turn more uglier than they already are. 

 

They can both grow and learn life skills as individuals and parents. What I am suggesting is BASED on facts, law, and professional experience that would not escalate, it would deescalate a situation that is already getting out of hand (e.g. their teenage daughter acting out). Their current agreement is not working and is not fair to the children nor both parents. Thus, the proof is already in the pudding. Everyone one of my recommendations to mediators and family court judges has worked to heal the family and have clear boundaries w/o enmeshment or rigidity.  Why? Because I evaluate the entire family system and it's structure and that structure needs a second order change. I recommend you get an internship to a local family court as a mediator and see how the process turns out. Family court and agencies are not just for the worst case scenario, it is also to prevent the WORST case scenarios from playing out. No one wants an over zealous social worker getting in your family's business. It takes only one call for them to either open an investigation or screen them out. Based on what the mother did regarding childcare, it would have warranted a full investigation, family therapy, etc. because that was parental neglectful behavior. It would be the same based on the worksite accident for the father. If things remain one-sided as it is, unhealthy alliances will form and I guarantee you the eldest will demand the grandparents to have custody. Schools in Tennessee will report you to DCS if your child is under 12 and you drop them off more than 10 minutes early and are more than 30 minutes late. Facts! They will investigate.

[chickfactor]

9 minutes ago, foreverempress said:

I am talking about facts, law, and professional experience; not opinion. What you are suggesting is one sided and a power alliance with the mother. What I am suggesting looks at both parties and the entire system for what they have presented themselves so far to be which is why the writers should have fleshed out their entire back story. Both have shown negligence. Neglect is consider by definition child abuse and when you leave your child at night without proper care, despite having the resources to get them proper care with their grandparents that have shown explicit interest in doing so, that is neglectful and spiteful. Both of them need mediation and clear rules that protects the interest of both children. He is too passive and she is too aggressive; those are fictional facts. Follow the facts. Every time he messes up in her eyes, she becomes disappointed and tries to mitigate time with the children or talk about how he is not good enough. He admits his flaws, but needs to put in a better plan to show more action. When their child was missing, he told her the truth, but showed her grace even by smoothing things over with the eldest daughter after she SMACKED her in the face. FOLLOW the facts.  He could do well for 10 months, make one error, and then she will snatch the children. Do you realize how humiliating it is for a mother to tell the father of her children he can only see them in public places? What's the solution at this point? Court mediation before things turn more uglier than they already are. 

 

They can both grow and learn life skills as individuals and parents. What I am suggesting is BASED on facts, law, and professional experience that would not escalate, it would deescalate a situation that is already getting out of hand (e.g. their teenage daughter acting out). Their current agreement is not working and is not fair to the children nor both parents. Thus, the proof is already in the pudding. Everyone one of my recommendations to mediators and family court judges has worked to heal the family and have clear boundaries w/o enmeshment or rigidity.  Why? Because I evaluate the entire family system and it's structure and that structure needs a second order change. I recommend you get an internship to a local family court as a mediator and see how the process turns out. Family court and agencies are not just for the worst case scenario, it is also to prevent the WORST case scenarios from playing out. No one wants an over zealous social worker getting in your family's business. It takes only one call for them to either open an investigation or screen them out. Based on what the mother did regarding childcare, it would have warranted a full investigation, family therapy, etc. because that was parental neglectful behavior. It would be the same based on the worksite accident for the father. If things remain one-sided as it is, unhealthy alliances will form and I guarantee you the eldest will demand the grandparents to have custody. Schools in Tennessee will report you to DCS if you child is under 12 and you drop them off more than 10 minutes early and are more than 30 minutes late. Facts! They will investigate.

 

Okay.

 

So she's such an awful mom who needs court intervention to legally prescribe what she can do with her children. Otherwise, these kids are at risk of harm. Their father must pursue this course of action.

 

Okay. 

[foreverempress]

7 hours ago, chickfactor said:

 

Okay.

 

So she's such an awful mom who needs court intervention to legally prescribe what she can do with her children. Otherwise, these kids are at risk of harm. Their father must pursue this course of action.

 

Okay. 

You see what you want to see out of a situation and that is on you. If that is what you got out of it, then it means that you already had your mind made up because you have magnified and catastrophized my entire argument. Both of them had been neglectful parents at times and loving. They need to readjust custody or at bare minimum, have a court negotiated visitation schedule for the sake of the children. Why? Because their parenting is inconsistent. He is too passive and she is too aggressive. She is authoritarian and he is permissive.  He should NOT have been allowing his daughter to skip classes-that is irresponsible as well. He hates conflict, therefore, he takes the easiest route to avoid it which in the long run has landed him where he is today. They also need parenting classes as well. Their children, especially the oldest are at risk for emotional harm especially regarding the stage in the family life cycle they are in. The eldest is on an emotional roller coaster because of both of her parents. If they were in therapy w/me, the first thing that they would know that I am not on the side of one individual, but the entire family before accommodating and joining them.

 

What I underlined in your paragraph above points out the flaw in that argument.  Those children are NOT just HER children, they are THEIR children. Those children have TWO parents and not one. Those TWO parents (mother and father) need to make joint decisions not based on ego, shame, guilt, contrition, or past feelings regarding the failure of their marriage (willing intensive marital therapy could have saved it), but based on the welfare of their children. Bottom Line.

[Nodame]

‪Lee Sung Kyung And SF9’s Chani Share Excitement At Joining “Once Again” For Cameos https://www.soompi.com/article/1411457wpp/watch-lee-sung-kyung-and-sf9s-chani-share-excitement-at-joining-once-again-for-cameos via @soompi‬

[chickfactor]

1 hour ago, Nodame said:

‪Lee Sung Kyung And SF9’s Chani Share Excitement At Joining “Once Again” For Cameos https://www.soompi.com/article/1411457wpp/watch-lee-sung-kyung-and-sf9s-chani-share-excitement-at-joining-once-again-for-cameos via @soompi‬

 

Based on pure guess, Ji-Won (Chani) is a family member of one of the wealthier families that Jae-Seok's mom hangs out with, and that's how he learns about Jae-Seok's relationship with Da-Hee (that they are in-laws). I hope he doesn't interfere too much with our favorite couple!

[Nodame]

@chickfactor I was thinking the same. He was planning to treat everyone until DH boyfriend JS paid. The bill was high , so a normal college student cannot pay that much! I went to college eons ago I definitely could not pay that amount!

 

Very logical that is the son of one of JS mom acquaintances or cronies for sure. Even the VO dating secretly dating and you are former in-laws (more questioning/confirming ) . Plus is eating with JW at place with JS and his mom, it wouldn’t be a not nice place .

 

Thanks!

Edited July 11, 2020 by Nodame