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[Taiwanese Drama 2019] Before We Get Married 我們不能是朋友


0ly40

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This is my first post on soompi, but I love to read up on opinions about my favorite shows. I'm really enjoying this show in particular and wanted to say a few things.

These are my speculations about the relationship between Zi Yuan and Ke Huan. They've been together for 10 years. I believe is was a loving committed relationship for a while. KH was getting established and ZY stayed at home. I think at the time her mother died, they were on the way to marriage and he promised he would take care on her and the sister. I think ZY has always taken it upon herself to "help" KH  get established by forging those important social connections. At some point, she got pregnant with KH's baby.

 

Now this is a bit cold-hearted, but I think its possible that she didn't want to get tied down with a baby. I see her as thinking that it's more important for her to help pave the way for KH to succeed socially and having a baby doesn't allow her to shop and schmooze with the manager's and directer's wives like she enjoys. It also doesn't allow her to hover and "watch" over him so carefully.

She may have believed the timing wasn't right and that she was getting an abortion "for his own good".  (Where have I heard that before?)

Like I said, I'm being brutally realistic now. 

 

If this is the case, then KH must have gotten furious. This would be enough to turn him away from ZY forever.

I suppose he didn't dump her then because of the promise to her mother but he would never love her again and just languished in this stagnant toxic relationship. It's another reason to resent all of her interference. It cost him his child.

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3 hours ago, Put a ring on it said:

 

Now this is a bit cold-hearted, but I think its possible that she didn't want to get tied down with a baby. I see her as thinking that it's more important for her to help pave the way for KH to succeed socially and having a baby doesn't allow her to shop and schmooze with the manager's and directer's wives like she enjoys. It also doesn't allow her to hover and "watch" over him so carefully.

She may have believed the timing wasn't right and that she was getting an abortion "for his own good".  (Where have I heard that before?)

Like I said, I'm being brutally realistic now. 

 

 

yea i guess ur right, Unplanned Pregnancy, Abortion often happen more than once in a woman's lifetime, Saying someone shouldn’t have sex is as useless a response to an unplanned pregnancy as putting someone’s seat belt on after a crash.

 

Like seriously,  Killing the unborn children is not the solution to any problem. And im so glad that Kehuan choose to stop loving her after knowing bout the abortion. :smirk:

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If KH is the type who don't want to have kids & when ZY aborted their baby, it will not affect him at all. He will be in fact relieved. But KH isn't those type, so for her to do something like that behind his back without telling or discuss with him is an ultimate betrayal. ZY knew that KH will be against abortion and will want to keep the baby. Hence she went and secretly aborted it. However she didn't bargained that KH would be this furious with her and stopped loving her. In her own delulu mind, she thinks KH will get over it and moved on and they will be back to loving relationship once again. This explains she couldn't understand why KH has been so cold towards her for years bcos she is in her own delulu world.

 

KH is so attracted to ZW is because she is the exact opposite of ZY.

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wow ep.6 have a lot of revelation. the biggest one was about Zi yuan abortion without talking about it with KH. wow, I can understand his resentment though and how it was a catalyst for the deteriorating of their relationship. But I wonder if their relationship was bad before that and she already was the one to do thing involving their relationship without consoling him about it.  I feel there is more to it for making him unloving her.  

But I am happy he is vocal about what he want in his life and telling what he feels. 

 

Wei Wei girls is just a confused mess. Seems like this episode she take a stand and really question about her relationship with Hao Yi. I sure understand him being in a new work place would make him busy with work. but with the way he is brushing WW away and not being there with her make her wonder if she is alone in this relationship. Even so when she already was unsure about it before the proposal. I do feel sad for HY as he clearly is blind to what is happening around him, so hope WW can sit down with him and talk about her feelings. He is not a jerk but just a person that like making structure to his life. I guess the marriage never gonna happens.  

 

 

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I am currenlty at the 6th episode (watching via viki) and am a bit dissapointed over the direction which the series is heading towards to.  It's only a total of 13 episodes long, but I am not sure how much more plot we can get out of this series. 

 

I am especially feeling for Chu Ke Huan who in this episode revealed, what I have earlier predicted here, that Wei Wei gave him the courage to leave his old life behind. Facing his current situation and instead of turning it all a blind eye, he is finally taking actions. He is finally being brave, after so many years of being an inactive observer of his own life, just running along in what ever direction he is being pushed towards.

And this actually is also where my disappointment is coming from. I am worried that the next episodes will only be him running behind her telling her to finally wake up. He even told her that she now has a back up to which she always can fall back to. 

 

Wei Wei on the other hands is in a very different dilema. She wants to be this indepentend, confident woman who can walk through hardship with her boyfriend/husband/SO unwaved by other men. Everyone goes through hardship in a relasionship and she is probably just imagining that currenly it's just a unusually long, rocky path she and her 321 are walking. She does not want to abandon just everything. She would think of herself as being weak, just walking into someone elses arms because it is more comfortable. 

 

It is hard on the two of them and I can not tell with whom she should end up with. Of course, I know everyone here already has their fav and do not see the original couples ever having a happy-ever-after but for Wei Wei it will be hard to decide and I am not looking forward to another 6-7 episodes of Ke Huan luring Wei Wei into his very comfortable bed (literally and figuratively, as his life just is more comfrotable).

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38 minutes ago, Jennifer Padilla said:

I am especially feeling for Chu Ke Huan who in this episode revealed, what I have earlier predicted here, that Wei Wei gave him the courage to leave his old life behind. Facing his current situation and instead of turning it all a blind eye, he is finally taking actions. He is finally being brave, after so many years of being an inactive observer of his own life, just running along in what ever direction he is being pushed towards.

it is interesting that he needed a push to be honest with ziyuan but even then, she is unable to accept that the relationship was long dead. she seems to think that it is just because of a 3rd party. even when her sister is telling her to let go and that she too would react the same way if she was keuhan, ziyuan still is unable to let go. did he just completely shut down but never actually discuss his unhappiness with her. in a way, it is bad for both weiwei and keuhan because this is going to be argued as cheating when it was ziyuan's behaviours that broke the relationship...

 

does anyone else find 321 strange? what on earth were they saving for in terms of buying the house? wasn't his whole point to marry her? so why buy the house and now postpone the wedding? even he seems disinterested in a wedding.

 

42 minutes ago, Jennifer Padilla said:

She does not want to abandon just everything. She would think of herself as being weak, just walking into someone elses arms because it is more comfortable. 

have a slightly different interpretation. in a way, keuhan is actually uncomfortable for her because he isn't her choice. he doesn't fit her plan. hence her world is spinning in a way because it is not easy in any way even if both were single. whereas, 321 is a comfortable fit. they don't argue. they have the same goals. they don't have any passion and so they don't get mad or annoyed with each other. so weiwei doesn't have to feel anything. she is always calm. whereas, keuhan gets her emotions rolling in all sorts of ways that she feels out of control with her actions. she is not in control with keuhan.

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1 hour ago, Lmangla said:

does anyone else find 321 strange? what on earth were they saving for in terms of buying the house? wasn't his whole point to marry her? so why buy the house and now postpone the wedding? even he seems disinterested in a wedding.

 

For me, 321s whole point in buying the house was owning his own house. Buying the house so he could marry WW was just what he told his father and WW to convince them to chip in. I don't think his father would have helped him financially if WW was not in the picture. Similarly if they were not planning to marry, why would WW need to buy a house with him.

Just to give him benefit of doubt, I think 321 has convinced himself that only way for him to own a house is by having a family.

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7 hours ago, Lmangla said:

I have a slightly different interpretation. in a way, keuhan is actually uncomfortable for her because he isn't her choice. he doesn't fit her plan. hence her world is spinning in a way because it is not easy in any way even if both were single. whereas, 321 is a comfortable fit. they don't argue. they have the same goals. they don't have any passion and so they don't get mad or annoyed with each other. so weiwei doesn't have to feel anything. she is always calm. whereas, keuhan gets her emotions rolling in all sorts of ways that she feels out of control with her actions. she is not in control with keuhan.

I have the feeling that 321 and Weiwei do not have the same goals just because they fit so perfectly together but rather because she took it upon herself to make his goals hers and help him in every way possible to make them come true. They do not argue a lot because she always just takes everything the way things are. He does not want to rist getting exposed at work, so she only sleeps over a this place saturdays. She just says yes to this. Is she sad at times? Yes! But does that make her question the relasionship? No, it rather makes her question herself. "Are my needs really that important? I am stronger and better than this, I can get over this. I do not need him always by my side, pick me up after work, sleep over whenever I feel like it. I am a grown up person who can walk through bitter parts of life."

 

I reckon when she would be single, she wouldn't distance herself this much from KeHuan. Right now, he makes her mostly uncomfortable because he makes her feel things for someone else beside her man. She might actually be less guarded and defensive to recieve his loving actions if she wouldn't have to guild trip herself for the emotions he envokes in her. She is ashamed that she is interested and fights every part of this even thought she has to admit that when she is feeling lovely, she is drawn to the man who shows actual interest in her.

 

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I just finished ep 6 and wow, this drama is intense but not in a melodramatic kind of way, which is strangely odd given the context. I am really enjoying everything about this show and am so drawn in by the characters and tension/chemistry between the leads. 

 

While I don't condone cheating, I do understand why KH is attracted and mesmerized by WW. He has been under a lot of pressure to meet the expectations of those around him, particularly the promise he made to ZYs mum about looking after her and her younger sister, and WW is a breath of fresh air to him. She is genuine, not materialistic or vain, hardworking and endearing. I think KH has tried to end his relationship with ZY in the past but was never able to fully go through with it because ZY would guilt trip him. He found the courage to do so after meeting WW but again, ZY is unable to let him go. ZY having an abortion without telling him would have destroyed their relationship too because he obviously saw a proper future with her but when she done that behind his back, it became clear to him that status was more important to her. 

 

I like seeing the contrast between KH and WW's relationships. While there is more complexity to KH and ZY's relationship, WW genuinely wants a future with HY but the strict plan is so ridiculous. I understand that you need to budget for your overall financial goals but there was no room in the plan for everyday moments and memories. Who the heck tells their partner they can only sleep over on a Saturday when they are both grown adults!? And I find it so odd that KF has never met HY before, it seems like the plan really is just for his own benefit (like KH said). There was bound to be cracks in their relationship at some point. They are actually quiet similar in that they both seemingly enjoy a safe relationship but kind of need something to spice it up. KH has opened WW's eyes and HY's boss looks like she has taken an interest in him and is going to have the same effect on him that KH has on WW.

 

WW and KF's friendship is definitely one of my favourite parts of the show. I love how loyal KF is and that she doesn't give a damn about what others think of her. I also love that she just wants her best friend to be happy.

 

I wish there was more than one episode a week! I should've just waited until the series ended but once I watched the first one, I couldn't stop! Looking forward to some more epic tension and kiss scenes between our two leads and seeing more of Jasper's dimples (he will be the death of me!). Sorry for the long post!

 

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I'm enjoying this drama so much right now... I want to see more Kehun and WeiWei... 

 

I want WeiWei to realize that her boyfriend might be a safe option but definitely not someone that is helping her grow... 

 

Excited for the next episode. :blush:

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I'm not sure if this mv has already been posted (apologies in advance if so!) but one of my favourite drama mv creators recently made this mv. This is actually how I found this drama and now I'm obsessed!

Cr: dreamie234

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