[Drama 2019] Her Private Life 그녀의 사생활

[Vanessa Huynh]

Hello, chingus! I have been a lurking reader in this thread since the very first episodes. I enjoyed reading your comments every day. I waited until the last episode to give my comment on this drama.
My background:
I stopped watching a full k-drama for a very long time since My love from the star. I watched several after that but dropped eventually. Then I read that KJW would be the lead in this drama. I started watching K-drama again. I at first watched the drama because of KJW; however, I am now totally hooked into this drama. I am experiencing withdrawal syndrome now. I even subconsciously put my hand on my heart while watching the last episode because I am not ready to say goodbye to Ryan and DM.
In my opinion, this drama is so beautifully drafted. It conveys meaningful messages and builds a very healthy and mature relationship. Furthermore, I feel like it painted my life very well haha. 

First, I wanted to take an opportunity to address some negative comments on this drama and compared with PMY's previous drama in my comment. 
To those people who think that this plot is weak and boring, I totally respect your opinion. I understand that we have different tastes. I dropped WWWTS after 2 episodes because I don’t enjoy exaggerated rom-com and I prefer a brighter and more interesting female character and a mature male character. It does not mean that WWWTS is not a good drama if I don’t like it. 
BUT “those who said that this drama is really relying on skinship too much just having problem with the drama success”. I don’t agree with this. About the skinship, I like it so much because I felt it very natural and surreal. We would do the same with our boyfriend/husband. Many other romantic dramas, I don't see any explosive chemistry from the leads. They told us they are in love but we don't feel it or their relationships make us want to fall in love with someone. However, HPL successfully makes our heart fluttered and want to be loved by someone.

For the success, I looked at WWWTS for its rival. I then figured it out because some lines are very catchy and prominent, and funny (but exaggerated to me).  For this reason, I think people get captivated easily. 
This drama failed to succeed as expected because the message is too subtly conveyed which required you to watch from the beginning and pay attention to detail to see its deep meaning. 
Probably, you just watched some cut videos that led to this conclusion. Many chingus here and I followed this drama since the first episode, I am confidently saying that this drama is more than that. I believe those in their mid-20s and above would think this relationship is very mature and supportive. Ryan and DM help each other grow, they support each other through ups and downs, and they are always there for each other. For all these reasons, there are so many of us who were so into this drama or their relationship that we are having a hard time to move on. 

Here are few values that are drawn from the drama and mentioned before by a lot chingus here:
1.    Equal love. I have seen some relationships in k-drama where male lead has a higher position than his partner. The relationship seems unequal. But in HPL, I don’t see any alpha dominance here. Let’s start with the scene when DM told Ryan about her job in the gallery, you will see that in the later episodes, Ryan often expressed his admiration to her job as a curator though he is a gwangchannim. He gave her respectful praise, good analysis of the importance of her job. This truly makes her feel proud of what she is doing even she wanted to be an artist in the first place.

2.    Sit down and talk aka Communication. This is very important in any relationship even friendship. I feel very related because when things happen, I will sit down and talk to solve the problem. One of my friends turned me off, and I did not know the reasons why. I called him, he did not pick up the phone. I knocked on his door, I asked if I did something wrong, let's fix it together. We are still friends now for 8 years. I really hate misunderstanding, if things get tangled up, just sit down and talk. This is exactly what Ryan and DM have been doing whenever they encountered any misunderstanding. 
3.    Honesty. This is also very important in any relationship even friendship. Look at how DM is honest to Ryan about EG. I don’t see it in other romantic drama. Ryan always says sorry when he made a mistake. That's a gentleman of him. 
4.    Mutual understanding. DM got mad because Ryan knew about her fangirl life but did not open up to her. She forgave him quickly because she understood that he did it for her good sake. Ryan, on the other hand, understood that EG is family to DM. He advised her to take care of this issue considerately so that they would be still a family. 
5.    Support. Ryan supported her to take the opportunity to work in the US. A friend of mine told me that a man that truly loves you would let you grow with your best because if they are no longer with you for some reasons, they know you will do fine on your own. A lot of men, specifically Asian men, do not want his partner to achieve a higher career/education, they are scared because the woman might leave him for a better man. Ryan is not one of those men. DM, on the other hand, supported Ryan to face his inner fear, and step forward regarding his abandon pain. 

6.    Trust. Ryan trusts DM regardless he knows that EG likes her as a woman. Trust me, very few men could do this. I am very surprised when Ryan behaved this way. This happens only when you understand your partner well and confident with her love. 

7.    Being there for each other but still respect privacy. I truly feel very related to this. DM knew something went wrong with Ryan but never pushed him to open up. She gave him some hints that she was there whenever he is ready. Similar to my best friend, we went to different schools. She had new friends and less contacted me for a while. I later told her that because I truly love her so I am very happy to see her having good friends who also love her though my heart was so much in pain. It does not matter who gives her happiness because we all love her. I decided to let her go for good. She felt something wrong. She gave me time to put my thoughts together. When I was ready, we sat down and talked. We now understand each other even better, and still best friends though we live in different parts of the globe now. I read some comments that why DM did not ask or she left him alone. Girls, we need our private time sometimes to clean up our feelings and thoughts. I think it’s a very good move from DM. 
8.    Support and respect your partner’s personal interest. Another related point to me haha. I am a fangirl like DM. After My love from the star, I exchanged to Seoul, Korea for a semester in a hope to see KSH in person. A lot of my friends never understand my feeling as a fangirl, either my best friend. However, my best friend still supported me to follow my idol regardless she does not know him. One time, I checked his flight schedule but not sure if it was correct. She went online searching for his flight schedule. Then we went to the airport to see him. We saw a bunch of fans running to someone. She dragged me with her running with the crowd. She ran even faster than me just because she wanted me to see KSH. Another time, she was standing with me at Myeongdong for 4 hours just for me to get a glimpse of KSH for 4 seconds. I saw this in Ryan. He does not fangirl over Sian because of DM. Instead, he did research to gain a better understanding of her personal interest. When he found out, he respected it. He secretly supported and found some opportunities for her to meet Sian in person. A fangirl would love to have a boyfriend like Ryan who does not criticize/look down on our “religion”, but respect and even support it ( I call it a religion because someone explained this as an analog very well). 

Tbh, I got myself a lot of takeaways from this drama which many other k-dramas do not have. I learn things that are applicable to my personal life. This drama is like a piece of art that not everyone would enjoy it in similar ways. There is a minority like me who got hooked into this drama because we feel related and because this drama taught us many valuable lessons in maintaining/building a mature/healthy relationship. 

I have always been looking for someone like Ryan who will listen to me, support me, be there when I need him, and share life burdens with me. I don't want to come home seeing a person that causes me a headache because of misunderstanding or miscommunication or too different personalities. 

Now let’s discuss about our leads’ acting skill. 
PMY: I watched several of her previous works though dropped eventually. To me, among those, I like DM the best for being so considerate, caring, and loving. I like her the most for her bright character. This is my bias because I always want to get surrounded by bright and funny people, so I like DM pretty much. PMY is a good actress. She portrayed DM very naturally and impressively. 
KJM: I wanted to publicly give him praise. He is definitely a brilliant actor. For some reasons, I like him a very long time ago but never fully watched any of his works because none of these is my style. I told myself that I would wait until he is casted in a rom-com as a lead. This day has finally come. I love to see his performance in this drama. He nailed it with his amazing acting skill. When I put together your characters in Bad guy, Voice, The Guest, Temperature of Love, Antique, and Her private life, I saw 6 characters with completely different personalities, behaviors, attitudes along with the facial/micro expressions. I don’t see any KJW in these 6 characters. He is so detailed and dedicated to his character which makes me fall in love with his acting. For Ryan alone, he portrayed this character very consistently from the beginning until the end. His Ryan character is well perceived through acting as a heartwarming, considerate, understanding and loving gentleman. If you look closely, you will see how he behaves when around DM. He does have mico expression which I really like from an actor. His touches for DM, his raising eyebrow, his secret smiles, all those were captured notably but it got into my heart. He does not only act with his body movement but even his voice. His voice on the phone when he called DM in the middle of the night after the nightmare. I was shocked, I could tell from his voice that he just cried. Or when he proposed, his voice was trembled, he was nervous though he knew that DM loves him too. He truly lived as Ryan on and off screen for 3 months.
There are so much more to talk about your acting skill, but I leave it here. As a fan, I definitely want this drama to go viral domestically and internationally. So that KJW will receive more opportunities which allow him to shine even brighter as he deserves it. So much talented an actor is. I have a faith that I will see him soon in an amazing project. 

In conclusion, this drama truly touches my heart in every sense. It stands out among its peers in the same genre, at least to me. I very much enjoyed watching HPL because of its light plot without dramatic twists. I am dealing with troubles every day so I want to watch an amusing drama to release stress. HPL really amused me. My daily life was lightened up and bloomed over the past three months. Such a beautiful memory. Regardless of its low rating, I now only focus on the thing that I so much enjoyed watching this drama, and it is blooming in me. 

This is my first also last in this thread because I am not a very active person. I am quite laid back. It's lovely to see all of you here. Keep it up with your analysis, sense of humor, and thoughts. I pretty much enjoyed reading it. Hope Ryan and DM gave you a good time as they did to me. Will see you all in their next projects either together or individually. Fighting!

Edited June 2, 2019 by Vanessa Huynh

[niharika111]

5 hours ago, cenching said:

I am positively failed in trying to understand the logic behind this reasoning. Isn’t normally a person will want to moves on or says goodbye asap to something that he/she considered unpleasant experiences and reluctant to says farewell to something he/she considered dear to the heart??? 

 

You are right and I thought so too.  but i guess, its also because she says in her farewell video that HPL was not easy to film.  Not sure what she meant by that; tight schedule maybe?

[cenching]

16 minutes ago, niharika111 said:

 

You are right and I thought so too.  but i guess, its also because she says in her farewell video that HPL was not easy to film.  Not sure what she meant by that; tight schedule maybe?

PMY said in the interview with iQiyi in the beginning of the drama that her role in HPL is difficult because she has to portrayed 2 different sides of SDM, as a curator and fan girl. 

 

Add.

 

 

 

[Ameera Ali]

 

@cenching & @Lawyerh

 

 

usually kiss & abs catch my eye while lurking 

but food will do today - thinking of lunch 

no need for KJW open his arm that big , I will run gladly for food 

 

 

 

[J13]

@Sky8lue  no I don't think he ever saw those photos or the photos DM photoshopped. Would've been so funny though lol

 

I was really hoping there was a proper scene where DM was outed as SNG to SA but that didn't happen either. SA definitely caught on that DM was a fan though.

 

Such a great drama. I'm really going to miss everything about this show 

[starrysky18]

3 hours ago, niharika111 said:

 

You are right and I thought so too.  but i guess, its also because she says in her farewell video that HPL was not easy to film.  Not sure what she meant by that; tight schedule maybe?

What is it about? Did pmy say HPL was difficult to film? 

[Nj Ab]

https://www.instagram.com/p/ByJKGaJhbT6/

 

Unable to insert image... credit to @ji_an_nim 

[Airpork]

@jaeuckismylife @liltash85

great minds think alike 

 

Quoting from Taylor Swift “haters gonna hate” hahaha just glad to see other like minded fans here as well who really appreciate a good Kdrama when we see one! 

[niharika111]

8 minutes ago, starrysky18 said:

What is it about? Did pmy say HPL was difficult to film? 

 Yes she said that in her farewell video.  When WWWSK ended (I remember because I followed that drama as well), PMY uploaded not only her own pic, but also one with the ML and the PD as a fare well message, and she did say how she was so happy while shooting the drama because the atmosphere in the set was very congenial.  In contrast, here she did not post one pic as a farewell greeting, and even looked kind of unenthusiastic (to me) in the farewell video.  

 

I know its silly to compare, but I am stating what I noticed.  I am not saying it means anything, but the observation is not completely incorrect.

[myd8]

Hello HPL lovers.. How r u doing? Has the withdrawal taken over yet.. mine did..to the very core I’ve been spending a lot of time going back to watch each n every HPL related video like bts, Fan MV and what not. I’m crazy lovesick over HPL(mostly Geum Saja). I’m definitely sure i am not alone. So, for that reason, let’s list down ways to cure out withdrawal shall we?

 

ROAD TO OVERCOME HPL WITHDRAWAL

 

1. Rewatch all 16 episode of HPL

2. Rewatch all the BTS videos

3. Rewatch all sweet scenes

4. Find, watch, like, download, fan MV on HPL-KJW-PMY

5. Reside in forum(support system) writing, sharing, spazzing, every tidbits on KJW-PMY-HPL

6. Check out KJW previous projects

7. Check out PMY previous projects

8. Create, download, watch gifs on favourite moments (RG chiselled abs comes to mind) 

9.  Admiring Geum Saja arms & hands (the veins guys the veins!!!) smexy!! 

10. 

 

[jaemin kimpark]

Uri Saja...

 

 

 

 

 

[minyyy]

18 minutes ago, niharika111 said:

 Yes she said that in her farewell video.  When WWWSK ended (I remember because I followed that drama as well), PMY uploaded not only her own pic, but also one with the ML and the PD as a fare well message, and she did say how she was so happy while shooting the drama because the atmosphere in the set was very congenial.  In contrast, here she did not post one pic as a farewell greeting, and even looked kind of unenthusiastic (to me) in the farewell video.  

 

I know its silly to compare, but I am stating what I noticed.  I am not saying it means anything, but the observation is not completely incorrect.

She looks sad in the video and almost cried because she probably will miss the relationships forged during the filming for the past 3 months. It just like how we don’t want HPL to end either. 

[tan10can]

oKAY I Found this.  Is this what you are looking for?? Especially the last shot. Don't thankS me, THANKS HER.  All her hardwork and candy to our eyes.

 

 

[shymaldita28]

PMY is not really active on IG while working in a drama I guess but I noticed how she keeps posting a lot on her IG when she is on a vacation that is the reason she was not able to post for 3 months because her schedule was really tight even KJW seldom post while he was filming the drama.

 

Celebrities tend to post more when they have no other commitments so that their supporters will still be updated on their lives as a celebrity.

[cenching]

@niharika111

I noticed she looked about to cry in her farewell video but I am sure it's not because HPL has low ratings like what some people claimed it to be. She stated in the video I posted above that SDM is indeed a difficult character for her to portrayed (She talked about it in the beginning of the drama) and she repeated it again in the farewell video. SDM is a big challenge for her as an actress. While Secretary Kim is a paid vacation for an actress her caliber.

 

Most casts in K drama looked sad in the farewell videos, some even cried openly. They had spend 3-12 months together in a close knitted environment, only a robot who doesn't feel sad during parting time. Like I said IF she really "hated" anything HPL that much, she will drops it like a hot potato and posted in her SocMed about how happy is she now that everything had ended.

 

Let's not speculate something that out of common sense like certain group of people..... Let's just enjoy the happy vibes like what PMY and KJW are doing at the moment. PMY with her CF works and long vacation, KJW with his Shabu Shabu time and up coming works....

 

 

[dinhie]

58 minutes ago, starrysky18 said:

What is it about? Did pmy say HPL was difficult to film? 

I believe difficult here means she played two characters, as a curator and a fangirl at once. She stated in many interviews about this, viki/chinese channel of example. 

[niharika111]

@cenching

 

Thanks for your perspective.  We all have our own POVs and we should not be afraid to express it.  I apologize if my post somehow diminished the happy vibes of this forum.  I guess I was expecting PMY to actually say that she is going to miss SDM and the HPL team, she had fun shooting despite the difficult role, etc. etc. so that there wouldn't be any need to speculate.  But anyways, I did enjoy the show and I agree its best not to get carried away with the lives of the actual actors.  I loved and will continue to love SDM and RG. 

[mushforbrains]

Lol...this is fast  turning into a kjw thread...but thanks @tan10can... still think he suits soft Beatles type tunes...like his Seoul witch...don’t really enjoy it when he sings the hard rock genre ...

am not sure if they had less time to shoot this drama? Since it seemed like they were shooting the last scene til almost the actual screening day and pmy mentioned that she hadn’t slept in 3 to 4 days??

plus all the emotional scenes were in the last 2 eps... so the emotional toll on method / immersion type actors would have been immense.

Maybe that’s what she meant...if I had to be sleep deprived for 4 days...I would say it was hard too,,.

Also it was also a story of the OTP primarily...so the toll on them would have been harder...

other romcoms had more time on other characters....here the airtime for the others seemed much less...a pity as the support cast has some pretty seasoned actors...

in most romcoms...there will be a comedic tag team/ semi evil villains/ scheming second leads etc...

here we just enjoyed them every minute they were on screen...but I loved it....

[cenching]

5 minutes ago, niharika111 said:

@cenching

 

Thanks for your perspective.  We all have our own POVs and we should not be afraid to express it.  I apologize if my post somehow diminished the happy vibes of this forum.  I guess I was expecting PMY to actually say that she is going to miss SDM and the HPL team, she had fun shooting despite the difficult role, etc. etc. so that there wouldn't be any need to speculate.  But anyways, I did enjoy the show and I agree its best not to get carried away with the lives of the actual actors.  I loved and will continue to love SDM and RG. 

 

All of us here to share our opinions and constructive criticism, we are doing it like a well educated adults (Borrowing our Ryan Gold's statement) in the proper thread. I have no intentions to rubbished your worries, I am glad you brought it up so I can give my perspective for certain group of people to see too.... 

[kdramaQ]

I do realised PMY looks emotional during the video shoot by her agency. It's not easy to say goodbye, especially when the crew has been closest to her for 3 months. 

I may be delulu, if I am with KJW, day in day out for more than a month, I would be crying my eyes out, when it's time to say goodbye.