[Drama 2019] The Secret Life of my Secretary / I love you from the beginning, 초면에 사랑합니다

[tinymel]

3 minutes ago, Lmangla said:

it is just difficult for me to see someone who takes advantage of another person's health issues and vulnerabilities especially when that person is struggling with the diagnosis. so passive aggressive would be letting her off the hook easy and making it seem like it is okay to take advantage of another persons' health issues. it is not. she deserves to get dumped and booted out of his life. since this is a rom-com, I wish that gal hee would go through mountains of angst and verbal slaps.

 

I get where you and @thistle are coming from... alternatively, I have put aside my disgust at Dom being a classist and narcissist by buying the writer's argument that he is emotionally constipated. For me a narcissist will always be worse than someone who lies because they don't understand the stakes... but each to their own. Narcissists will never ever see anything from anyone's perspective but their own; they don't forgive; they don't learn from their mistakes.

 

As for the health issue... the problem is that the show stopped making that an issue for me the minute that Dom stopped using his senses to recognise people. Smell is a HUGE factor in how we recognise people and since they didn't show GH putting on a different perfume (which would have been easy to do) each time she transformed into fakeVP... well I gave up on his illness being anything other than a plot device to further the SecLee/Boss drama or see VP's face (which again, plot device to keep him from making the connection). 

 

I guess I don't understand why GH is *the* bad girl (who deserves to be left loveless and verbal slapped) while the narcissist gets to have a happy ending? (and this is as someone who has seen a very dear loved one lied to in a much worse fashion, as well as seen someone be dumped by a partner because the dumper didn't want to deal with the other person's diagnosis). 

 

Also, I am curious if you have any romcoms that have lying which you like--say I am Not a Robot which has a similar premise of lying and a very serious medical condition. It is always interesting to me to see what other people like to watch and why. I avoid melos because the drawn out drama doesn't satisfy me and I end up skimming it. To be clear, I don't just watch romcom or comedy. I enjoy thrillers and shows where romance isn't a factor... in fact there were several shows that were ruined for me because the romance ended up taking too much air time.

 

(this is probably the most interesting conversation I've ever had about a drama so hope it keeps going until the end we see how the writers wrap it up)

[Lmangla]

@tinymel ~ yea, this conversation is fun. am trying to think of a rom-com with a lie/deception but the only ones that come to mind are the real oldies. maybe because the new ones don't really make an impression on me as much. so fun one would be "bad couple" -- so this woman decides to try seduce this guy because she wants to be a single mother but not marriage or relationship. since IVF is not legal for single ladies, she decides to go for one night stand with this fella who she feels would have great sperm. LOL. it is pretty funny to the extent that she would try to create romantic situations except he doesn't bite.  then later, he does get interested in her.....

Spoiler

 

as for a good melo which starts off on a lie, that would be mask. it was highly addictive even when it got silly and laughable. but the lie and the motivation behind it was so clear that it makes sense. she is a doppleganger of someone rich and is under threats by loan sharks that she actually considers killing herself. so she takes the out and agrees to impersonate this rich person but is till under loads of threats because she can neither trust her fake husband (who has been accused of killing this rich person) or the guy who asked her to impersonate this scam. it is all sorts of delicious and makjang. plus, there is real sizzle between the leads.

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so thats what I mean by motivation. give me a reason where we can get behind the character. here, they destroyed gal hee after that beach episode. up till that point, she seemed to have some spunk. when it was obvious that she was going to keep taking advantage of someone whose heart was getting involved, my impression of her just started to sink and has continued to sink further. so I agree with you that after the initial episodes, his illness just became more of a plot device. but still, min ik is a more developed, sympathetic character than gal hee who just doesn't take responsibility for her actions.

[thistle]

22 minutes ago, tinymel said:

I guess I don't understand why GH is *the* bad girl (who deserves to be left loveless and verbal slapped) while the narcissist gets to have a happy ending?

 

The reason I am seeing GH as "bad" is Not because of the first lie; anyone can make a mistake.  The reason I feel infuriated is because she continued to lie.  Worse, she kept up the deception even though she knew Dom was more vulnerable than most people.  If she's all in love with him, why why why why would she treat him that way?

 

I do Not see Dom as a narcissist.  Yes, he behaved in some ways as a narcissist might but there is a difference between real narcissism and an ill person who has been emotionally damaged.  Dom's character was improving and he was showing concern for others--a narcissist doesn't change.  But a person who has suffered severe life-threatening illness that isolates him from others can and will be too self-focussed at times; and that's a different matter entirely.  Besides suffering from serious health issues, Dom also had to face emotional issues from his family and from a lot of betrayal.  If he is too self-focussed, there's a reason.  

 

So while Dom is trying to change and move forward, GH is just busy carrying on a lie without any good reason to do so except her own self-interest. 

[tinymel]

 

BAD COUPLE!!! Flashbacks! wow--literally one of the first kdramas I watched 'live' ie a couple of months after because of finding subs. do I have time to rewatch that drama... probably not but maybe I will have to *make time* (edit: I am with you on the new ones... all the kids who don't explore earlier than 2015... )

 

32 minutes ago, Lmangla said:

they destroyed gal hee after that beach episode. up till that point, she seemed to have some spunk. 

This I agree with... she lots her spine at this point.

 

16 minutes ago, thistle said:

The reason I feel infuriated is because she continued to lie.  Worse, she kept up the deception even though she knew Dom was more vulnerable than most people.  If she's all in love with him, why why why why would she treat him that way?

I guess where we diverge is being 'infuriated'. I'm disappointed but not so far as infuriated... which for me is a really big thing to be. 

[thistle]

2 minutes ago, tinymel said:

I guess where we diverge is being 'infuriated'. I'm disappointed but not so far as infuriated... which for me is a really big thing to be. 

 

I guess it's a personal view because 

Spoiler

I can relate to Dom's situation because of my own serious incurable health issues and the people who have betrayed, lied to, and used me just because they could get away with it.  I've forgiven them all--not because they merited it and they don't--because it is in my own best interests to do so.  That's not narcissism; that's common sense self-defense.

When something hits a personal nerve, it's easier to get infuriated.

 

If Dom were not ill, then GH's lie would be less of a big deal.  If she lied once, it wouldn't be huge.  But she knew he was vulnerable and she persisted.  Yeah, that sort of thing makes me go up in flames.  It's not wrong to feel infuriated when you see injustice unredressed.

[tinymel]

9 minutes ago, thistle said:

I guess it's a personal view because

hug. xx

[Lmangla]

27 minutes ago, thistle said:

 

I guess it's a personal view because 

  Reveal hidden contents

I can relate to Dom's situation because of my own serious incurable health issues and the people who have betrayed, lied to, and used me just because they could get away with it.  I've forgiven them all--not because they merited it and they don't--because it is in my own best interests to do so.  That's not narcissism; that's common sense self-defense.

When something hits a personal nerve, it's easier to get infuriated.

 

If Dom were not ill, then GH's lie would be less of a big deal.  If she lied once, it wouldn't be huge.  But she knew he was vulnerable and she persisted.  Yeah, that sort of thing makes me go up in flames.  It's not wrong to feel infuriated when you see injustice unredressed.

 

maybe because of personal experiences with health issues, we are more infuriated rather than disappointed with gal hee.  

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so due to severe chronic migraines, I had to quit my job and change career. during that peak time, I felt incredibly vulnerable as it was a very competitive environment. while folks knew I had migraines, they didn't really understand or know the extent of how bad it was and how much I was struggling with work. ..... I finally quit and became better... 

so I totally agree with you -- it is that persistent lying from gal hee when she was aware of how vulnerable he was that makes it difficult to digest. in many ways, she seems an awful match for min ik.

[turtlegirl]

10 hours ago, turtle0217 said:

@turtlegirl Chingu, I don't care I gotta watch it to see how it turns out after all the spoilers. 

Also tomorrow is Angel's Last Mission, so I might as well live this week of all these painful drama scenes and hopefully have recovery episode next week. Lol. 

I can't watch it on Sundays, because I won't be able to sleep and dying to know what's going to happen. So watching and waiting for the week to end for new episodes, I will eventually heal throughout the week. Lol. 

That's actually smart reasoning. I feel ya. 

Spoiler

BTW, it looks like ALML is another tear jerker episode today. Oooof what's up with this week? 

Gonna need to find something funny to watch in between all this sadness. 

[turtlegirl]

Everyone is making some really good strong and valid arguments on here. 

I am not angry with GH. Maybe frustrated would be the better word. I see her as naive and misguided but never intentionally hurtful. In fact we know how much she cares about Dom esp his health. Thanks @ktcjdrama for pointing out it was his medicine that she slipped into his pocket, not her confession letter. I was surprised to see GH show up at Dom's office but to me that just points more to her naivety. After breaking someone's heart like that, the normal thing to do would be to stay away for a while. I personally think she should have quit rather than let herself get fired. I honestly think she just doesn't understand the true results of her actions, maybe still not even yet. Perhaps when she discovers the truth about her sister, it will help her understand Dom's perspective better. I also feel like GH's character is really human to me. I can imagine myself being that naive in my younger age before life experiences put me in my place. She will come through this a better person. I'd like to see her really protecting Dom over herself in the coming episodes. She needs that redemption I think to prove she isn't as selfish as she seems right now. 

So I guess overall I'm not angry with anything. Just heartbroken for 2 characters who clearly love and care for each other and are hurting so much right now. 

[ktcjdrama]

She wants to come clean, but she just doesn’t know how. I never see her as doing it solely for her own self-interest. Throughout the drama, we can see and are shown how she is feeling guilty and conflicted about the lie. She wanted to end it but then got caught by VP and then ordered/forced to impersonate some more. It’s late, but I’ll try to list out tomorrow each occasion when she impersonates and reason why and what made it became a longer time spent as fake VP even though she didn’t mean to do so. 

I agree that she feels really human. People makes mistakes, say the wrong things, but for me, I would first see the heart. If you’re watching the drama closely, it’s not difficult to see that GH never meant to harm or hurt Dom. She did not do it out of evil desire or motivation. She did not do it out of spite or to take revenge or to teach Dom a lesson. It’s easier for me to accept GH than those gold-differs/opportunists because I know where she’s coming for and her true heart regarding the whole impersonation. 

 

Anyway, sharing below the OST that I like most up till now

 

[kkddrraammaa]

Meanwhile my shallow self blown away by KYK's tears now needs more of him. Already binged on Gogh Starry night and finding it difficult to wait till next monday. 
Also, made this gif, to spazz over KYK while waiting for next without bingeing another drama. Its a clip from Reality TV show that KYK starred in. He looks so yumm waking up in that bed hahaha. Makes me wonder if Secret Life of Secretary has any bed scenes later on. Well, atleast I hope so. 
Till then, enjoy this beauty. :* 

[tinymel]

56 minutes ago, turtlegirl said:

I also feel like GH's character is really human to me.

... yes. a younger more naive person is definitely tipping into going with your gut and 'reacting' to a situation than thinking things through first... A lot of the reason the romance makes sense to me is how young GH and Dom are when it comes to understanding their own emotions. So that is totally believable for me. I *hurt* for her more than any other character.

 

16 minutes ago, ktcjdrama said:

I’ll try to list out tomorrow each occasion when she impersonates and reason why and what made it became a longer time spent as fake VP even though she didn’t mean to do so. 

-Oh man. if you want help with that let me know! While I don't like the lie, I think that every time she 'lies' it is 1-hard for her (even the first time because she keeps slipping!) and 2-for a reason... sometimes a reason that is there to protect Dom.

 

9 minutes ago, kkddrraammaa said:

He looks so yumm waking up in that bed hahaha. Makes me wonder if Secret Life of Secretary has any bed later on. Wel atleast I hope so. 

GOOD, GOOD, GOOD MORNING OPPA... (what?! did you have to show me that for? )

[Ameera Ali]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * ( Just   Oppa  ) 

[thranduils]

1 hour ago, ktcjdrama said:

I agree that she feels really human. People makes mistakes, say the wrong things, but for me, I would first see the heart. If you’re watching the drama closely, it’s not difficult to see that GH never meant to harm or hurt Dom. She did not do it out of evil desire or motivation. She did not do it out of spite or to take revenge or to teach Dom a lesson. It’s easier for me to accept GH than those gold-differs/opportunists because I know where she’s coming for and her true heart regarding the whole impersonation. 

 

 

ouuu! I find conversations about intention so fascinating! Does it matter if the person meant to do well if eventually they caused more harm than good? Should intention be acknowledged or thrown out the window in the face of actions that were objectively harmful *in the end?* I don't think there's one definitive answer, but I'd love to hear any of your thoughts on this matter ~

 

Personally, I believe that regardless of intentions, the individual has to take responsibility for their actions and acknowledge what they have contributed towards. So, for me, it makes a lot of sense that GH would be fired and forced to critically reflect on what she ultimately did, because regardless of her *intentions*, the reality remains that trust was breached and that Dom is hurting, very very deeply. If Dom does decide to forgive her, I really really hope that he does so because GH actively and intentionally works to regain his trust again (which in reality would probably take years but w/e LOL). Maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but I don't want Dom to forgive GH simply because he *loves* her? He's coming from a place of deep longing for love and affection in his life, and forgiving through this vulnerable (and yearning?) state  feels really disingenuous to me? It feels almost exploitative (towards Dom ofc) ??? Idk if that makes sense LOL but lemme know what y'all think ~ 

[Ameera Ali]

 

 

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[tinymel]

If anyone ever poo-poos kdrama to me again, I am showing them this thread. 

 

I mean we are covering moral philosophy, psychology, literary analysis, intertextuality (covering several media/genres), and also some hardcore heart flutterings... while talking about a 16 episode romcom in a language we(most of us) don't speak... bring on the PhDs

[Ameera Ali]

 

 

 

 

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[grake]

Now that her secret is out, my hope for our heroine is to come out of her mess a stronger, smarter, nicer, a more honest and confident person. I don't want her to stay sulking for too long and start picking herself up. Min Ik will forgive her at his own pace, at his own terms. Knowing Gal Hee, she will find a way to help Min Ik even secretly because that's the person she is, a caring one. 

 

It has been mentioned a few times how she is always taking care of other people. Her moment of weakness was due to the fact that she just wanted to know and feel what it's like to experience things differently - eat gourmet food, be treated as a lady, be the one being taken care of. I think this will also be a significant factor when Min Ik finally finds the heart to forgive her. 

[ktcjdrama]

6 hours ago, thranduils said:

 

ouuu! I find conversations about intention so fascinating! Does it matter if the person meant to do well if eventually they caused more harm than good? Should intention be acknowledged or thrown out the window in the face of actions that were objectively harmful *in the end?* I don't think there's one definitive answer, but I'd love to hear any of your thoughts on this matter ~

 

Personally, I believe that regardless of intentions, the individual has to take responsibility for their actions and acknowledge what they have contributed towards. So, for me, it makes a lot of sense that GH would be fired and forced to critically reflect on what she ultimately did, because regardless of her *intentions*, the reality remains that trust was breached and that Dom is hurting, very very deeply. If Dom does decide to forgive her, I really really hope that he does so because GH actively and intentionally works to regain his trust again (which in reality would probably take years but w/e LOL). Maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but I don't want Dom to forgive GH simply because he *loves* her? He's coming from a place of deep longing for love and affection in his life, and forgiving through this vulnerable (and yearning?) state  feels really disingenuous to me? It feels almost exploitative (towards Dom ofc) ??? Idk if that makes sense LOL but lemme know what y'all think ~ 

Intentions... I recently just told off a friend, who has nothing but good intentions, because she was making me uncomfortable by invading my personal spaces. So yeah, even good intentions still ended up to be meaningless when it's making the other party uncomfortable (we're not even talking about hurt/harm here).

 

What I was trying to say is not to defend GH of having good intentions with her actions, but that she never intended any hurt/harm. Nevertheless she is aware that it will hurt him and the guilt been eating her up. I have no problem with the firing because when trust is breached, there is no way to work together, so yeah I'm fine with Dom's decision. I won't even fault him saying that it's for personal or unethical reason, because he has every right to fire the person working for him.

 

Agree that GH will need to take responsibility and bear the consequences of her actions. The way she did it is by showing up at the office to await her fate and also making doc's appointment considering Dom had allergic reaction. Contrary to some opinions, I appreciate she didn't just disappear from the office (or his life) because she felt ashamed and dare not face Dom. And again, in the drama we are shown that she has been extremely anxious about whether or not he would forgive her, that she would not mind whatever happen to her, that she still has to tell the truth no matter.

 

As for forgiveness, it is of course totally Dom's call whether or not to forgive her. Does she deserve forgiveness? For me, yes, because she is not a malicious person, just clueless on how to undo her snowballing lies. I don't know how the writer is going to write up GH's character ~ an active seeker for forgiveness, or a passive "I don't deserve his forgiveness" person, who will just respect Dom's decision and stay away. However, being a kdrama, I guess she will not be able to stand not running to help/care for Dom, secretly or openly. Just like above post of @grake which I totally agree with, including second paragraph.

 

Will be back with the list of impersonation since I have to do some proper rewatch for accuracy.

 

@Ameera Ali I love you, my gif-queen

[thistle]

4 hours ago, tinymel said:

... bring on the PhDs

 

Alas I was unable to complete my PhD work but my specialties were in research and explication.  (Not kidding.) 

 

As a wise person once told me, The true purpose of an education is to teach you HOW to think and Not to tell you WHAT to think.  My educational background is actually why I really like to hear everyone's different views.  That's the way I was trained to see things:  to listen impartially to all facets, to draw conclusions from that, and then to defend my own assessment of what has happened--it's like drama as an intellectual exercise for me, even though I love the romantic stuff, too.  Everyone has something valid to say, and I want to know why people like what they like; I don't have to agree, and that's just fine.

 

As you said earlier, there's some great discussion going on in this thread.  Although I may be angry with the way things have gone with GH in this drama, it's still really enlightening to see how other people view what she has done and how they defend her.