Quantcast
Jump to content
sugarplum892

[Mainland Chinese Drama 2020] Find Yourself 下一站是幸福

Recommended Posts

Sorry I'm late to join the party.

 

I wan't to put in my two cent here. I felt that YS and FX had more of a passionate fling than a real relationship. Like a lot of you have said, they didn't really know each other. They know what they see and hear from others, but they don't really dig to deep into each other lives. That's why I felt like it's more of a fling. I think the breakup was great for them as individuals because they can find out more about each other by being friends then they would just making out. 

A lot of you pointed out that FX should have asked more about YS. His family, his life etc, but you guys forget that he too never ask her about hers because he knows her family and life. That's the thing about relationships, you always learn something new about your signification other no matter how long you've been together for. There are things he could ask her, but instead he would ask her brother or her brother would point things out to him. They just both have bad communication skills. 

 

A few comments I would like to answer:

 

- Someone pointed out how can FX accept LM's gift so easily while returning YS's necklace. It shows her lack of consideration for him. Apparently you guys weren't watching if you had to ask this. LM is rich so FX doesn't feel guilty getting something that wasn't costly whereas what YS bought was a limit edition item. I don't know about jewelry, but I can tell you when you buy a regular purse it might cost this much, but once you buy a limited edition purse from the same brand it would be 3-4x more than the regular purse price. FX didn't know YS is rich. She was thinking of him when she returned it because with his intern income, how many loans does he have to take in order to buy a necklace like that.

 

-Someone pointed out how can FX take LM to the class reunion and not YS. Did you guys forget they were still on trial dating? Also, how would it look bringing your younger boyfriend to a class reunion when the host there went into FX's office at work? I'm not trying to make excuses, but that's how I see it. Women like to gossip. It might not seem scary, but it is if it can affect your personal and professional life. 

 

-Someone answered this one, but I wanted to elaborate. I felt like the reason why FX was giving LM a chance is because of people pressuring her, but also because she is easily manipulated. I think a lot of you forgot how YS actualy got FX. He chased after her, blocked her path and kind of manipulated her into dating him. The thing with FX is she is willing to date you, but after a while she realize things. Dating YS she realized that being with him makes her happy, but what about her parents and brother? She said she doesn't mind how people see her, but she doesn't want them to say things to her parents. Her parents constantly encourage her and tell her she doesn't have to get marry, but that's a case of expectation vs. reality. Look how her mom acts when she told her she introduced LM to her friend. Or how her parents act when she says she is just meeting her friend LM. We can all say she should follow her heart and do what she wants, but that's not reality. It's always easy to tell people what to do, but when it comes to ourselves will we choose love or security? I am not talking about just financial security. When we are young we have time to choose love, but when we get older most of us leans more towards security. That's because as we age we don't take as many risk as we would in our youth. Dating LM, she is slowly learning about what she likes and don't like. I believe in one of the scene she was talking with her friend and telling her friend that dating LM feels like she is just being dragged along. The thing with love is, if you have to experience different relationships and different situations to know your likes and dislike. You guys need to thank LM for showing FX this. This will make FX realize what she lost and would want it back. 

 

There is more to say, but I am sleepy for tonight. I just know tomorrow's episodes will be cute, but the episodes after that will be sad then happy again. Talk about rollercoaster of emotions.

  • Like 3
  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, SillyCoconut said:

Sorry I'm late to join the party.

 

I wan't to put in my two cent here. I felt that YS and FX had more of a passionate fling than a real relationship. Like a lot of you have said, they didn't really know each other. They know what they see and hear from others, but they don't really dig to deep into each other lives. That's why I felt like it's more of a fling. I think the breakup was great for them as individuals because they can find out more about each other by being friends then they would just making out. 

A lot of you pointed out that FX should have asked more about YS. His family, his life etc, but you guys forget that he too never ask her about hers because he knows her family and life. That's the thing about relationships, you always learn something new about your signification other no matter how long you've been together for. There are things he could ask her, but instead he would ask her brother or her brother would point things out to him. They just both have bad communication skills. 

 

A few comments I would like to answer:

 

- Someone pointed out how can FX accept LM's gift so easily while returning YS's necklace. It shows her lack of consideration for him. Apparently you guys weren't watching if you had to ask this. LM is rich so FX doesn't feel guilty getting something that wasn't costly whereas what YS bought was a limit edition item. I don't know about jewelry, but I can tell you when you buy a regular purse it might cost this much, but once you buy a limited edition purse from the same brand it would be 3-4x more than the regular purse price. FX didn't know YS is rich. She was thinking of him when she returned it because with his intern income, how many loans does he have to take in order to buy a necklace like that.

 

-Someone pointed out how can FX take LM to the class reunion and not YS. Did you guys forget they were still on trial dating? Also, how would it look bringing your younger boyfriend to a class reunion when the host there went into FX's office at work? I'm not trying to make excuses, but that's how I see it. Women like to gossip. It might not seem scary, but it is if it can affect your personal and professional life. 

 

-Someone answered this one, but I wanted to elaborate. I felt like the reason why FX was giving LM a chance is because of people pressuring her, but also because she is easily manipulated. I think a lot of you forgot how YS actualy got FX. He chased after her, blocked her path and kind of manipulated her into dating him. The thing with FX is she is willing to date you, but after a while she realize things. Dating YS she realized that being with him makes her happy, but what about her parents and brother? She said she doesn't mind how people see her, but she doesn't want them to say things to her parents. Her parents constantly encourage her and tell her she doesn't have to get marry, but that's a case of expectation vs. reality. Look how her mom acts when she told her she introduced LM to her friend. Or how her parents act when she says she is just meeting her friend LM. We can all say she should follow her heart and do what she wants, but that's not reality. It's always easy to tell people what to do, but when it comes to ourselves will we choose love or security? I am not talking about just financial security. When we are young we have time to choose love, but when we get older most of us leans more towards security. That's because as we age we don't take as many risk as we would in our youth. Dating LM, she is slowly learning about what she likes and don't like. I believe in one of the scene she was talking with her friend and telling her friend that dating LM feels like she is just being dragged along. The thing with love is, if you have to experience different relationships and different situations to know your likes and dislike. You guys need to thank LM for showing FX this. This will make FX realize what she lost and would want it back. 

 

There is more to say, but I am sleepy for tonight. I just know tomorrow's episodes will be cute, but the episodes after that will be sad then happy again. Talk about rollercoaster of emotions.

 

Thanks for taking your time to elaborate dear.  When you are already so sleepy.

 

Don't worry.  Most already know this.  They just didn't elaborate on it, that's all.  Otherwise it will end up every long - like yours. Most of the time people just discuss the "gist" of it.  At times, people will post questions just to "relieve" themselves of the frustrations they feel on a particular incident.  It does not mean they did not understand the drama.  The dialogues have explained most of the things you mentioned above.  Common sense will do the rest.

 

Eps 36 looks more promising....

 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just watched ep 31. I don't now if she is dense or she is pretending. Who goes house shopping with their bf and not think that the man is thinking about marriage. The old fox is a stalker like and i don't think he likes her. he probably likes the idea of her because his actions raise red flags

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Songbae said:

I just watched ep 31. I don't now if she is dense or she is pretending. Who goes house shopping with their bf and not think that the man is thinking about marriage. The old fox is a stalker like and i don't think he likes her. he probably likes the idea of her because his actions raise red flags

 

That is why she is bashed on weibo. It does not make sense.  Viewers are not bashing her for leaving Yuan Song.  But more for the senseless  protrayal of her - a Spineless, Clueless lady.  She already knew she has been Manipulated before.  She is allowing herself to be manipulated again.  And telling YS that she could not find a reason to be angry with him for this:wacko:

 

Looks like she is "Resigned" to her fate. 

Spoiler

With her father having problems with his memory (alzheimer?), she will be deluded to think that she better marry LM before her father loses himself completely

 

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
46 minutes ago, hush puppy said:

 

That is why she is bashed on weibo. It does not make sense.  Viewers are not bashing her for leaving Yuan Song.  But more for the senseless  protrayal of her - a Spineless, Clueless lady.  She already knew she has been Manipulated before.  She is allowing herself to be manipulated again.  And telling YS that she could not find a reason to be angry with him for this:wacko:

 

Looks like she is "Resigned" to her fate. 

  Hide contents

With her father having problems with his memory (alzheimer?), she will be deluded to think that she better marry LM before her father loses himself completely

 


I just watched ep 31 & 32 and I agree that FX is basically letting Luming lead her. But I can also understand why....
 

The part where she says to YS that she realizes she can’t be as carefree as she would like, that previously she thought she could just follow her heart but then realized that she actually couldn’t ignore the fact that she was concerned about what people would think and how it would affect her family, is actually both understandable and relatable. She knows her heart is with YS but her mind is telling her that Luming is a more compatible match due to age, societal expectations, etc. The fact that FX is inexperienced when it comes to love and relationships means that despite her age, she is actually just learning how to navigate relationships, when and how to set boundaries, how to effectively communicate and also learning about herself. Hence the title of the drama. I think that his is mostly about FX’s personal growth although of course we see each character growing in their own ways. 


it’s frustrating for us bec we can clearly see the pitfalls of her choices but the truth is, in her case, experience would be the best teacher. Who among us, the first time we fell in love, was lead in one way or another - either by the other person, our heart or our desires? It’s when that first relationship doesn’t work that we then realize where we went wrong and where we should have listened to our hearts and when we should have listened to our minds. 
 

Right now it feels like YS is learning faster than FX and there’s a part of me screaming at FX saying “don’t let him go!! You’ll lose him!!” :D

 

a part of me thinks that her father’s condition might result in 2 outcomes:

 

a) it might force her into speeding things up with Luming; OR

 

b) it might make her realize that life is too short to be wasted on the wrong people and might actually prompt her to go back to YS. 

  • Like 3
  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am done with ep 34 and all i can say at this point is that YS deserves better and he should date someone his age because this back and forth between FX and YS is just exhausting. FX relationship with the old fox is based on lies and deceits.  As long as she and the guy haven't discussed marriage i don't know why he should be doing things like this. She likes the attention that she is receiving from the both of them and i suspected that the father had Alzheimer.  

  • Like 3
  • LOL 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, hush puppy said:

Looks like she is "Resigned" to her fate. 

  Hide contents

With her father having problems with his memory (alzheimer?), she will be deluded to think that she better marry LM before her father loses himself completely

You are right. YS deserves better. I don't like females like this have a backbone

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, mouse007 said:


I just watched ep 31 & 32 and I agree that FX is basically letting Luming lead her. But I can also understand why....
 

The part where she says to YS that she realizes she can’t be as carefree as she would like, that previously she thought she could just follow her heart but then realized that she actually couldn’t ignore the fact that she was concerned about what people would think and how it would affect her family, is actually both understandable and relatable. She knows her heart is with YS but her mind is telling her that Luming is a more compatible match due to age, societal expectations, etc. The fact that FX is inexperienced when it comes to love and relationships means that despite her age, she is actually just learning how to navigate relationships, when and how to set boundaries, how to effectively communicate and also learning about herself. Hence the title of the drama. I think that his is mostly about FX’s personal growth although of course we see each character growing in their own ways. 


it’s frustrating for us bec we can clearly see the pitfalls of her choices but the truth is, in her case, experience would be the best teacher. Who among us, the first time we fell in love, was lead in one way or another - either by the other person, our heart or our desires? It’s when that first relationship doesn’t work that we then realize where we went wrong and where we should have listened to our hearts and when we should have listened to our minds. 
 

Right now it feels like YS is learning faster than FX and there’s a part of me screaming at FX saying “don’t let him go!! You’ll lose him!!” :D

 

a part of me thinks that her father’s condition might result in 2 outcomes:

 

a) it might force her into speeding things up with Luming; OR

 

b) it might make her realize that life is too short to be wasted on the wrong people and might actually prompt her to go back to YS. 

She is going to stay with the old fox. I am done with her. I don't think people should tell you who to love or date because you are going to be the one in the relationship not the people. YS's stepmother is sensible.

  • LOL 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Songbae said:

She is going to stay with the old fox. I am done with her. I don't think people should who you love or date because you are going to be the one in the relationship not the people. YS's stepmother is sensible.


Yes, what you said is true too. But it’s also hard to have a relationship that no one supports nor celebrates. The “it’s us against the world” attitude only goes for so long. Eventually someone gets tired. Either one of the parties in the relationship or those around them. This is not to say that these types of relationships won’t work because they can work. However it requires a lot of commitment and effort for both parties and bec FX and YS didn’t have a solid foundation prior to them dating, it’s understandable that they have reservations. Even YS had insecurities prior to the breakup. So they both needed to develop that friendship first so that when they do decide to pursue the relationship again, they’ll be more prepared to weather the storm so-to-speak. 
 

Also, even though FX loves YS, she also loves her family so the thought of them being scrutinized bec of her decisions can be a cause of concern for her. It would seem selfish if she only thought about herself and had no consideration for the people she loved. 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
50 minutes ago, mouse007 said:


Yes, what you said is true too. But it’s also hard to have a relationship that no one supports nor celebrates. The “it’s us against the world” attitude only goes for so long. Eventually someone gets tired. Either one of the parties in the relationship or those around them. This is not to say that these types of relationships won’t work because they can work. However it requires a lot of commitment and effort for both parties and bec FX and YS didn’t have a solid foundation prior to them dating, it’s understandable that they have reservations. Even YS had insecurities prior to the breakup. So they both needed to develop that friendship first so that when they do decide to pursue the relationship again, they’ll be more prepared to weather the storm so-to-speak. 
 

Also, even though FX loves YS, she also loves her family so the thought of them being scrutinized bec of her decisions can be a cause of concern for her. It would seem selfish if she only thought about herself and had no consideration for the people she loved. 

But she has been making weird decisions lately.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Loved this forum because it allows us to share our worldly views through watching dramas. 

 

I think we often times idealize what we see on TV but as someone who is of the same age as FX, I can absolutely sympathize with her and actually really feel bad for her. Whatever move she does, is wrong, and really none of it is her wrong doing.

 

1. Society pressure - Yuan Song is 10 years younger and still a student. She really likes him but she lives in a community where much older women romance are not looked highly upon. This is in Asia where a sense of community and social acceptance is highly sought after. Can you imagine

- your parents being the butt of the joke in your community

- people making snide remarks about you preying on young boys

- people saying Yuan Song is after FX to be a "sugar babe" 

- He was her intern, if things didn't work out, she would be left with a stigma of "seducing her intern" 

Unfortunately, society is still very unkind to women. Look at Elva Hsiao, she has always had much younger men as boyfriends and she is considered successful, but is still constantly being poked fun by netizens saying she likes to "eat young grass" 

 

2. Stage of life - FX is ready to settle down, YS still has a huge future ahead of him. Yes, YS is seen actively pursuing FX and making effort to woo her. But I really did think YS was immature to give up studying abroad to stay with FX. This only happens in drama. He should have made future plans with her and reassure her that they will try to work this out by making frequent visits etc rather than just giving up his future for FX. She likes him a lot to know that studying abroad will give him a broader sense of the world, doing things he should be doing at his age. If FX had pressured YS to stay, then she would have been too selfish. Also, love does not conquer all and may fizzle out in the future, just look at the Xiao Yu/ShenFanFan pair. I'm sure they would have loved each other loads back in the days, but they just got tired of each other after 10 years? She has a lot more to think about compared to YS. 

 

3. Not being transparent - This is probably the biggest problem for the main leads. I think if they had come clean from the start that

- YS came from a respectable background

- FX felt pressured by her friends who were a showoff

- FX shared more about her friendship with LM

- YS telling FX about Mei Yin

- YS telling FX about his study abroad plans

All these added to even more uncertainty about the seriousness of the other person in the relationship. I mean, you guys talk on the phone everyday, you should have shared what happened in the day. 

 

While I really detest LM, I can't help feeling sorry for him. Yes, he was manipulative, yes he pressured, but isn't this what happens in most "霸道总裁" (think secret garden, well intended love) dramas? I feel towards the later part of the series, when FX is torn between her love for YS and her trying to work hard on accepting LM, it is a natural reaction for someone rebounding from a previous heartbreak. I wouldn't call her spineless. She doesn't see a future with YS and wants to move on from him but finds that her heart still longs for him. I feel her denial in seeing the house with LM was more of her constantly psychoing and telling herself that things aren't moving so fast into a direction that she doesn't want. She probably subconsciously knows that he has that intention to marry her, but is consciously denying that thought. Similar to when she told YS that she doesn't know how to be angry at LM, she probably knew LM had good intentions for the relationship, but she detests it hence she is angry but don't know why she should be angry. 

 

I do feel the drama is really good. The subplots, FX's layered character combined with a social theme, sparked a lot of discussion on how we view things. The last time I had such intense discussion about love and compatibility was watching the movie "don't go breaking my heart". I was rooting for Daniel Wu's character because he would have been a good choice for the female lead, not Louis Koo who was a notorious playboy. Like I said before, had LM been played by a different actor, my choice might have been rooting for LM.

 

So yeah, here's my very lengthy 2 cents up for your thoughts! 

 

 

  • Like 4
  • Love 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@nuttyz I agree. Unfortunely the world is hypocritical. There is a big difference to people compared if the man is alot older and it shouldn't be. As a guy myself i think it's rather stupid... I hope something happens soon and we do not get a last minute reunion like many other other dramas....

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

From the preview it looks like she wants to marry LM. Now that is the biggest mistake she could make. Marriage is hard even for people who love each other, it is a nightmare for people who don’t. It is bad for her and LM also, you start thinking you achieved something when you actually signed up for a lifetime of misery. Maybe her mother will feel what she is thinking and tell her what marriage means especially to a woman. Or maybe LM will try to kiss her and make her realize you can’t have a relationship with a person you don’t like touching you.

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

the lead actress is stunning and ive fallen in love with some of the fashions she wears in the show.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
17 hours ago, nuttyz said:

I feel towards the later part of the series, when FX is torn between her love for YS and her trying to work hard on accepting LM, it is a natural reaction for someone rebounding from a previous heartbreak. I wouldn't call her spineless. She doesn't see a future with YS and wants to move on from him but finds that her heart still longs for him. I feel her denial in seeing the house with LM was more of her constantly psychoing and telling herself that things aren't moving so fast into a direction that she doesn't want. She probably subconsciously knows that he has that intention to marry her, but is consciously denying that thought. Similar to when she told YS that she doesn't know how to be angry at LM, she probably knew LM had good intentions for the relationship, but she detests it hence she is angry but don't know why she should be angry. 

 

I do feel the drama is really good. The subplots, FX's layered character combined with a social theme, sparked a lot of discussion on how we view things. The last time I had such intense discussion about love and compatibility was watching the movie "don't go breaking my heart". I was rooting for Daniel Wu's character because he would have been a good choice for the female lead, not Louis Koo who was a notorious playboy. Like I said before, had LM been played by a different actor, my choice might have been rooting for LM.

 

 

I totally agree with everything you said. I also think that the drama is very good because relationships are complex and what makes this different from other dramas I've seen where the FL is older than the ML, is that this drama presents us with Luming - the opposite of YS, and represents the "obvious" or "more acceptable" choice for FX. 

 

I think we can all agree that FX and YS's relationship will have challenges that both of them will have to face eventually.

 

 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So i have decided that i am going to wait till the end before i continue with this drama because it is exhausting.  

I don't see why we have to care about what the society deems acceptable when it comes to love or relationships. Maybe it is just me but it doesn't make sense for you to enter into a relationship with someone you clearly don't like because when it ends you won't have good memories to remember

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So I watched episode 37 live earlier and can understand now why there is so much bashing on FX character and I think this is partially due to Victoria's delivery of the character. 

 

I personally felt FX could have been portrayed better if there was a significant difference between how she treated her relationship with YS and LM:

 

1. During the talk with SX about her wanting to be married to LM, she could have appeared less upbeat and more "resigned to her fate". She sounded too positive and it made it look like her love for YS was a little blurred/less important

 

2. When LM's sister visited, she also appeared ready and positive about progressing her relationship with LM to marriage

 

3. Her being with LM didn't feel vastly different from when she was with YS. I would have preferred if she was a lot more reserved with LM compared to when she was with YS

 

4. Her telling CY to break up with MM so that she can marry LM came off very weird. It sounded like she was too ready to move on with LM

 

I feel an actor's nuances and delivery can really make the audience empathize with your character more and I feel maybe things would have been portrayed better if these details were taken care of. I still think Victoria did a great job throughout the series, but it is these subtle differences that can really make the audience empathize with you.

 

Now my biggest worry is how they are going to make FX re-chase after YS without her looking like a two-timer who doesn't seem to know what she wants. 

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am late ...but Love this series....so much chemistry between the leads..even with such a big age gap...

 

songweilong has such a cute smile...he looks very young in series but at times with all the makeup look older than 22....he looks better in this series than that untouchable lovers ..

 

first time I watch songxi?...she is so pretty for her age...And looks young for her age..

 

so they actually look good together...just at times they put too much lipstick on both...

 

is it me or do I think their kissing scenes so much more natural and passionate (unllike go go squid lixian and yangzhi )....

 

love the sibling interactions also....

 

in regards..I think in beginning they were physically attracted to each other...then they learned to love each other....(although  unrealistic for a guy with such good looks and backgrounds....he grew rather attached to her quickly just a couple months he loves her so much to give up his dream of studying abroad ??? 


it is ironic that he is insecure because he knows he is so Much younger that she wouldn’t choose him for the long term and would choose someone her age ...and yet for her she was insecure because he is so much younger and think he would eventually choose a younger partner ..from the beginning I think he did think of long term relationship and she thought of it as a romantic fling...
 

I really love how his stepmom said that it is mature adults who think of solving issues and not having to choose between love and dream..
 

so was his ex girlfriend also older?  I read that many men who date older women because they lacked motherly love as a child...I find it interesting he didn’t seem that attached to the ex girlfriend when the broke up...yet he is so attached to fanxing just dating 3 months...


So she was a virgin when they had the first one night stand...?  it’s obviously he wasn’t ..☺️

 

 

Somehow it seems like she won’t marry the older guy and end up chasing him this time?   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i

Edited by Happy Happy
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 2/10/2020 at 11:40 PM, angelangie said:

 

lols....actually my mom and me support each other....lols im out at the job world working and my mom helping me with household chores....no husband hahaha and yes no bf either lols....

 

so my mom is my pillar... :) 

girl, same situation as you lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...