[Drama 2018-2019] Encounter / Boyfriend, 남자친구

[ahdrianaa]

I don’t know if this is going too deep but there is this korean idiom 

 

 

Since reeds are plants that sway in different directions according to the wind, it means that a woman’s emotions are constantly changing and that they are influenced by external elements. I think it’s all sorts of sexist! So when I watched the last two episodes, these scenes jumped out. 

 

When ex husband tells CSH over dinner. 

 

Isn’t this basically the reason why CSH could never love her ex, he thinks a woman’s emotions are easily manipulated and doesn’t seem to have any real respect for her feelings. A romantic gesture (external factor/wind)  - the paintings, the ring etc would leave a woman with no choice but to fall in love with him because of his actions and not because she desires it. Which is why he thinks that CSH’s emotions for KJH are a result of her being swayed by KJH’s gestures, he doesn’t believe that a woman’s love can be anything but a reaction to a man’s love. KWS therefore caters to this school of thought, which shows his limitations to the understanding of true love. 

 

In the episode where KJH takes CSH to the tower they cross this field full of reeds. 

 

 

KJH on the other hand looks at it very differently, he watches the reeds to undertand the direction of the wind. He gives importance to the woman’s emotion more than the external factors or gestures that can be done to woo her. In addition he thinks “we can enjoy the wind”, meaning both a man and a woman’s emotions react to external gestures. 

 

And unlike the ex, KJH attributes his own understanding of love to CSH. 

 

He thought he knew what love was because he would read it in books, but he now truly undertands it because he experiences the feeling of being in love with CSH. 

[lclarakl]

4 hours ago, stardustvoid said:

I absolutely agree that as a friend, you can only ADVISE but NEVER MEDDLE in your friend’s relationship. I was rolling my eyes the entire scene. Sure her intentions may be pure (or is it really?) but it also kinda rubbed me the wrong way

 

Also what is that scene in the preview where she is showing JH’s Dad something? I wonder..

 

I found myself questioning the true intent of the friend too. Then I thought the writer was trying to create a "balance". We constantly have CSH's assistant/friend butting into her relationship with JH. Now we have JH's friend butting into his relationship with CSH. In the case of CSH's friend, I don't think she has an alternative motive, but in the case of JH's friend---I'm not so sure that she still isn't hoping this romance will end and she will have another opportunity to be with JH herself.

 

I also wonder what she's showing his father.....looking forward to ep 10.

[gumtaek]

 

[lclarakl]

12 minutes ago, ahdrianaa said:

Isn’t this basically the reason why CSH could never love her ex, he thinks a woman’s emotions are easily manipulated and doesn’t seem to have any real respect for her feelings. A romantic gesture (external factor/wind)  - the paintings, the ring etc would leave a woman with no choice but to fall in love with him because of his actions and not because she desires it. Which is why he thinks that CSH’s emotions for KJH are a result of her being swayed by KJH’s gestures, he doesn’t believe that a woman’s love can be anything but a reaction to a man’s love. KWS therefore caters to this school of thought, which shows his limitations to the understanding of true love.

 

@ahdrianaa, I like the thought of going a little deeper with the comment about the reeds and how they bend with the wind; how you can truly see the movement of the wind by viewing the reeds.  

 

At this moment, I don't dislike CSH' ex-husband. I see a man who wanted to protect the woman he loved, but really didn't know how. In a way, I feel sorry for him because he's also now having to fight against what has been ingrained in him his entire life...strict obedience to his mother...that's hard.  The writer showed that in the scene a couple of episodes back when she, his mother, sent him to his room to get rest like he's a 10 year old child.  I think the only reason CSH is now able to stand up to her mother is because of what she went through during her marriage at the hands of her mother in law and also because she met KJH and has feelings for him. Her feelings for him makes her want to protect him in a way that her husband didn't protect her---she doesn't know yet, that in his own way he was protecting her passively aggressive.  

 

I do not want CSH back with her ex, but at this point at the end of ep 9, he's a good man but is weak when it comes to his mother. However, so was CSH when it came to her mother prior to her marriage. Her divorce gave her independence--her ex husband gave her that independence. In a way, he helped empower her by giving her the hotel. He helped make her stronger.

 

Some may not agree with this assessment, but for me, when CSH and her ex-husband first met, they were two of the same type of people. However, one has come out stronger from the marriage because one person sacrificed himself to help the other.

 

I hope the ex doesn't become evil and I hope he finds a new love and strength to move on and stand up to his mother.

 

 

 

[Josh Marquez]

Hoping to see a wedding for SH JH at the end of the series but i guess it’s far-fetched knowing that the title of the series is Boyfriend lol 

[autumnight]

Everyone ready to go back to Cuba?  

[autumnight]

Continuing from yesterday... 

 

 

 

[ahdrianaa]

They’re eating together, he guesses that she met the old widow. They talk about the playground, turns out it’s getting closed. CSH is sad, KJH says change is the only thing that is constant in this world. CSH wants to take pictures before the place gets renovated.

She asks him if he was upset about her phone call, experienced some lag but CSH to KJH apologizes really cutely, asks for his understanding this one time. KJH says it’s impossible to not forgive someone so pretty, tells her that the meal is on him. CSH tells him that she is going to eat lots in that case. 

[redbeanbuns]

The notes..we can see what's written that JH left..maybe asked 'do u have a boyfriend?' hah,silly me

[bebebisous33]

@ahdrianaa I really loved what you wrote about JWS's personality: he is definitely a sexist. With his words, he turns CSH's feelings into something temporal and superficial. The conversation at the restaurant was interesting because it actually revealed why their marriage could never work out and JWS can never be loved by CSH. The real cause is the lack of communication. We know that JWS loved his wife, yet he never told her. But this is not just that: he never said anything, when his mother would punish CSH. The word "quiet" says a lot about him. It is not that he was not able to confess his love for her, he wasn't able to say anything at all. He was silent: he never expressed any feelings or thoughts (pain, anger, aso). Then CSH added that the next day, he would bombarb her with expensive gifts. Here again, he remained silence. Actually, with these actions, he didn't even want to listen to CSH's feelings. By bombarding her with gifts, he wanted her to keep her mouth shut. CSH outlined her loneliness. She was on her own all this time as he never tried to listen to her. And at the restaurant, the pattern is almost the same, although this time JWS has decided to "express" himself more clearly: he wants to live with her again, far away from home, aso. As you can see, he doesn't even take into consideration CSH's feelings. I am glad that CSH told him that she only saw him as a weak man! Imagine the irony: he is wealthy and powerful, yet he is rejected because he is weak. 

To me, this last attempt  illustrates that he is not giving up on her. He wants her to remain by his side. He considers JH as a temporal and superficial attraction which could lead her to a tragedy: getting lost or losing everything. He is not listening to CSH's words at all. 

To summarize, JWS has not even figured it out why his marriage failed. He definitely blames his mother for everything. He has just realized that unlike in the past, he needed to become active (the painting, the dress, the rings) but he failed to notice that he needs to show respect and pay attention to CSH's feelings and words. He is definitely deaf and blind in my opinion. He refuses to see the obvious by diminishing the love and meaning of JH in her life.  

[autumnight]

The beautiful opening animation 

 

 

[ahdrianaa]

The moms are meeting, momster apologizes to MIL and tells her she went to Sokcho to give KJH a piece of her mind. MIL tells momster that CSH is as much to blame not just KJH, so momster fumbles and says she has made her displeasure known to CSH as well. MIL let’s

momtser know about things changing from now on, Momster gets on her knees and asks for MiL’s forgiveness and assures her that she will correct everything, no more embarrassing instances in the future. MIL leaves and asks the momster to see herself out.

[autumnight]

This show of power... 

 

 

[mellinadear]

SH's mum is so so embarrassing.

[ahdrianaa]

Driver Nam is driving CSH back to Seoul, he asks her if things are tough. He starts telling her about a woman from his past, how he loved a woman who was really pretty.

-lag- 

 

CSh tells Driver Nam if he continues saying what he was saying then she will cry, he tells her that this wasn’t his intention. 

 

Turns out CSH and Sec Jang became friends only because of Driver Nam! CSH shares how she never had any friends because of her mom and Driver Nam recognizing CSH’s need for company her age introduced her to Sec Jang. 

 

Driver Nam tells CSH that he was never able to work up the courage to confess to the woman and how she ultimately  met another man. 

cSh thanks him for sharing his sad love story, Driver Nam asks her to keep his secret. CSH tells him . CSH says , not to worry and that she won’t tell PR team leader. Driver Nam gets really shocked and asks CSH why she is bringing up PR team leaders CSH guessed the identity of the mystery woman.

[bebebisous33]

My wish is to see Chairman Kim losing her power due to the media and CSH's father wins the election thanks to the voters. So far, she benefited from the media therefore I wished, the media would change the target and reveal the hideous side of that terrible woman. She behaves like a queen entitled to everything... but she is forgetting that South Korea is a democracy. 

[autumnight]

 

Haha, this couple always lighten my mood 

 

[ahdrianaa]

LDC and Sec Jang meet again, something about KJH. 

A customer mistakes Sec Jang for someone working in the restaurant, she ends up taking orders and LDC asks her if he can get her an  apron. Lol.

LDC offers her a drink on the house for all the work and he talks about the charm of a woman, Sec Janb very coolly leaves money on the table

for the drinks. But she is all giggly once she exits the restaurant. 

[mellinadear]

LOL I think most of us kinda knew at the back of our minds that Mr Nam liked PR manager.

 

Lol why did SH reject JH's call? 

[autumnight]

First video call