[Drama 2018] The Third Charm, 제3의 매력

[angelwingssf]

1 hour ago, darr said:

That a couple separates because they lost a child is the greatest joke of the century.

Rather than separation, it brings them together.

What happens to conceiving again?

Especially as they are young couples, one of the fastest way to heal is conceive again. But because there is no love, they fall apart like park of cards. Both couldn't console each other.

 

Their marriage was marriage by convenience. 

 

As you said, this might have been a marriage of convenience.  Maybe both of them were in the same place or one followed another and they decided to be together.  Since we are not privy to how it all started, we can only speculate.  YJ was deeply attracted and attached to JY even though she did not show it.  The first time, was a separation due to her brother and she did not want someone to pity her condition because she had reservations about their status or living arrangements or her work or college.  So, it was easy for her to throw away the one thing that meant good for her.  JY on the other hand clutched her like someone saving his life.  He is an introvert.  But after separating from her, he tried to do the things that she talked about.  You would be great in ....this since you are so meticulous -- etc., She had a steadfast career motive and that is what kept her going.  The second time around, when she broke up with JY, it was because she might have felt suffocated not being able to handle him being jealous around other males.  I think she suffered too since we caught her running behind his car when she spotted him after the break up.  This might have caused her to marry the doc.    Having a child changes things -  Sori was the connector between doc and YJ.  Once that connection broke, YJ was not able to accept his help to recover.  So, conceiving again was out of the question.  That brings me to say that the first one might have been accidental (just thinking).  Even her interaction and Doc's interaction is about the child.  If they were in love or the child conceived henceforth, why did we not see him hugging her or consoling her in anyway.    This might be the reason for their separation.  Now on the last day, YJ and Doc show up at a restaurant and it is JY there .  That must have thrown all three out of their realm, or may be that might have been a parting gift from the Doc.  Now, JY is clueless as to the pain YJ is going through -  especially the loss of her child and henceforth the loss of marriage.  We can definitely say that the loss of the child weighs heavily on her than her marriage.  I was even surprised to see the photo of all three in their home.  Do divorcees do that.  I don't think so.

 

The writer might take this story in one of the two ways.  JY and YJ becoming great friends and each of their partners be with them.  Or he could make JY and YJ a couple and ditch the other two.  I would prefer the first option since all of them can be happy.  The second option makes the two partners sad since they lost in this game of love.

 

WRITER - please don't write such sad dramas - Even though you are not forcing us to watch these, this much of pain should not be suffered by any.  Not even a drama couple.  

[KSHCJW]

49 minutes ago, 0ly40 said:

Thanks @kdramasage for the aclaration. When he knows about it, maybe he will want to be with her. I hope they come back later. But I don't know what will happen to the end. 

Maybe they'll redo the same scene like the second time they met, when JY heard about SJ s accident and finally understood why and how much YJ suffered, he immediately ran to her to apologize to her for not knowing and then kissed her and consequently started their second dating period?

Argh I should just watch the first half and stop before HC appears 

[KSHCJW]

7 minutes ago, angelwingssf said:

 

 

The writer might take this story in one of the two ways.  JY and YJ becoming great friends and each of their partners be with them.  Or he could make JY and YJ a couple and ditch the other two.  I would prefer the first option since all of them can be happy.  The second option makes the two partners sad since they lost in this game of love.

 

WRITER - please don't write such sad dramas - Even though you are not forcing us to watch these, this much of pain should not be suffered by any.  Not even a drama couple.  

 

Couldn't agree with you more, too much drama and such a big contrast with the first half that made me laugh and liked this show so much...

But I still prefer the second option, otherwise the whole title would not make sense to me and would be misleading in every way

[angelwingssf]

17 minutes ago, KSHCJW said:

 

Couldn't agree with you more, too much drama and such a big contrast with the first half that made me laugh and liked this show so much...

But I still prefer the second option, otherwise the whole title would not make sense to me and would be misleading in every way

 

If this is anything like "My golden Life", then it is going to be "NOT the third Charm"

[bedifferent]

Just finished episodes 13-14, love them both @USAFarmgirl @triplem @sheza @tali58 @jbying7 @thistle would love to hear your thoughts 

 

Be back to drop off my thoughts when I have more time later

[KSHCJW]

1 hour ago, angelwingssf said:

 

If this is anything like "My golden Life", then it is going to be "NOT the third Charm"

 

I ve also watched my golden life  Really need to cut down on KDrama's lol

[tali58]

12 hours ago, KSHCJW said:

 

I ve also watched my golden life  Really need to cut down on KDrama's lol

It was a great drama. Don't be so hard on yourself.  

 

16 hours ago, darr said:

Another wonderful drama badly messed up.

I so much loved the beginning of this drama until the writer started playing with our intelligence.

Sometimes when you want to write something on the drama, u wouldn't know where to start.

 

Why do they always do this?

Can't a drama start and end well.

Because it's called the third charm and all about the main leads, the second leads are naturally crucified in order for the main leads to be happy and find fulfilment. If the 2nd leads are bad a bit, we will have reason to bash them. 

 

I enjoyed the first half so much. Will stop watching as it's not making sense to me anymore.

 

That a couple separates because they lost a child is the greatest joke of the century.

Rather than separation, it brings them together.

What happens to conceiving again?

Especially as they are young couples, one of the fastest way to heal is conceive again. But because there is no love, they fall apart like park of cards. Both couldn't console each other.

 

Their marriage was marriage by convenience. 

 

Now, the ex boyfriend want to move on, she is back again.  As what exactly, writer?

Yeah, some successful marriages didn't start with the two being so in love, sometimes like and spark can carry a marriage. The 2nd party can fall in love later.

We should ask our parents and will be shocked how most of them started. So I assume that he will fall in love properly as time goes on. But now, the writer has brought back his ex, made him and the girlfriend argue( something that has never happened before) so we can start seeing the girl differently.  What a weak way to develop a story.

Why give this gap when the guy will still continue to be a fool before her?

The same old story. Wonder what the charm is really.

Actually,  in reality, couples do break up after a death of a child, and it's not only in rare cases.  It does not always bring the couple closer at all. Many marriages have broken when either one or both of the parents couldn't deal with the loss and grief of losing their child. It's not even close to being a joke. This is one thing the writers got right. 

 

On 11/10/2018 at 11:46 AM, chickfactor said:

I do find it very hard to believe that Ho-Chul did not know that Joon-Young was the chef of that restaurant. A reservation-only restaurant with only one table, and you don't know who the chef is? I think Ho-Chul brought Young-Jae there on purpose. A final selfless act of love for his wife?

Yes! I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that! I had the same exact thought,  especially since the look he gives YJ is hopeful and kind of like he's trying to say, "isn't it cool?" He's also, as I've mentioned before, very welcoming and gracious to JY and very favorably adds his invitation for JY to join them. 

It's like his last selfless act toward his now ex-wife was to bring her back to all the people who love her, if he can't help her anymore himself. 

 

Except for when he confessed his feelings for her because he didn't want to have regrets if he didn't, all his actions towards YJ were selfless, supportive, and loving. So this final act fits in the pattern. 

Besides, he's far too meticulous not to have checked out the restaurant before making a reservation. 

 

10 hours ago, tali58 said:

Actually,  in reality, couples do break up after a death of a child, and it's not only in rare cases.  It does not always bring the couple closer at all. Many marriages have broken when either one or both of the parents couldn't deal with the loss and grief of losing their child. It's not even close to being a joke. This is one thing the writers got right. 

 

This is so true.  Most marriages survive when the couples are in love or friends first and understand each other and both willingly want to save their marriage.  Losing a child is a horrendous thing that any one can face and it is not something that even counselors can prevent divorces.  That is why some courts suggest separation during such periods to give it another shot instead of divorce.  But looks like divorce in Korea is pretty easy and can be done in 30 days (knowledge only from k-dramas) or so.  So, it feels that it is the easy way out.  This is definitely not a joke as you say and the guilt associated with it is enormous that one or both feel it and have to get out of a suffocating marriage.  You can see that YJ just wants to loaf about and she does not even have any interest in working - a complete opposite to when her brother suffered injuries and her goal was to be the best hairdresser.  She had some goal in mind vs. just loafing about.  Life feels meaningless and just empty with the loss of a loved one and it is quadrupled with that of a child.  

 

I think the last part of episode 14 fit perfectly with JY personality.  He still cares about YJ and cannot handle anything happening to her.  He still hasn't gotten over her and the minute he senses she is in trouble, he cannot help himself offer her a branch to hold on to, to guide her to safety.  

[tali58]

4 minutes ago, angelwingssf said:

 

This is so true.  Most marriages survive when the couples are in love or friends first and understand each other and both willingly want to save their marriage.  Losing a child is a horrendous thing that any one can face and it is not something that even counselors can prevent divorces.  That is why some courts suggest separation during such periods to give it another shot instead of divorce.  But looks like divorce in Korea is pretty easy and can be done in 30 days (knowledge only from k-dramas) or so.  So, it feels that it is the easy way out.  This is definitely not a joke as you say and the guilt associated with it is enormous that one or both feel it and have to get out of a suffocating marriage.  You can see that YJ just wants to loaf about and she does not even have any interest in working - a complete opposite to when her brother suffered injuries and her goal was to be the best hairdresser.  She had some goal in mind vs. just loafing about.  Life feels meaningless and just empty with the loss of a loved one and it is quadrupled with that of a child.  

She's clearly suffering from depression. A very realistic reaction to a loss of a child, especially since she was with Sori when it happened, so her feelings of guilt must also be incredibly heavy. 

 

Even couples deeply in love or who are also friends sometimes can't survive together after the loss of a child, especially a small child.  It takes a lot to make it through such darkness and pain. But when one partner can't or won't communicate, and doesn't see the other partner's pain, then the marriage fails. 

[Guest]

 

 

 

Everyone looks at a drama and it's characters differently and that's what makes being on a thread such a great experience.  This drama brings out so many different emotions in people as well.  After reading more than one sight today I realized that so many people want someone to blame from the dramas direction to it's characters.  So many have no mercy for YJ even now and believe JY should just walk away...

 

Yet I think the writer took us on a couples life and journey a real look into the struggles, breaking up more than once and finding their way back only to let go again.  It allowed us to see and feel their doubts, fears, regrets and so much more.  What started out light hearted in the beginning and this sense of watching them grow up before our very eyes.  Learning, growing, and hurting one another isn't so unreal in fact it's honest.  Every relationship doesn't have a happy ending.  And often good loving people get left behind. 

Even ones like the Doctor who always loved YJ more...

 

It's seen in the passion of those viewers who believe the writer has made the fiance into such a saint it just wouldn't make sense for JY's character to leave her after all this time...

 

And yet when I look closely at JY sitting in the park, driving his car, meeting her family, drinking a beer alone even in his fiance reading his own calendar.  Forgive me in my opinion that read more like a job in taking care of someone instead of being spontaneous.  Even in his life where are the thoughts of love or signs of excitement and real passion in loving someone.  Why did even his days seem to be so controlled and counted.

Is it happiness he feels?  I wonder?

 

Mind you I don't think there is a wrong or right when it comes to relationships or does there always have to be someone to blame. After all we are all human and making mistakes is our way of growing and learning how to live.

Love is often more about the act of giving forgiveness than in the receiving of it...

 

 

 

[pattsue]

At the moment, i dont want them to end together...YJ will brought JY down together.She is not ready..

She is drowning and trying to grab on whatever she can..She is in depression.

 

What she needs is a Psychiatrist...

[angelwingssf]

28 minutes ago, pattsue said:

At the moment, i dont want them to end together...YJ will brought JY down together.She is not ready..

She is drowning and trying to grab on whatever she can..She is in depression.

 

What she needs is a Psychiatrist...

 

I agree with you on the part that she is depressed, but I think JY is the right medicine for her.  Just like what he went through in Portugal, he is seeing the same signs in YJ and knowing him, he would want to take care of her and that will be the reason for the break up with SE.  Just putting myself in YJ shoes, I might want to hold on to anything to climb up from the pit I am in.  That is what I see.  A psychiatrist will not be of much use.  

 

Does her brother and JR know about Sori?  How come I don't see any pics or talk about it at all?  

 

[jbying7]

@bedifferent thanks for wanting to hear my thoughts. Let me mop up the tears, bandage the fragile heart (from the unsubbed version!) and watch the subbed version first, then I will respond later...Don’t worry, I will still stick around to the end of this “prolonged pain” to the Third Charm...

[tali58]

6 hours ago, angelwingssf said:

 

As you said, this might have been a marriage of convenience.  Maybe both of them were in the same place or one followed another and they decided to be together.  Since we are not privy to how it all started, we can only speculate.  YJ was deeply attracted and attached to JY even though she did not show it.  The first time, was a separation due to her brother and she did not want someone to pity her condition because she had reservations about their status or living arrangements or her work or college.  So, it was easy for her to throw away the one thing that meant good for her.  JY on the other hand clutched her like someone saving his life.  He is an introvert.  But after separating from her, he tried to do the things that she talked about.  You would be great in ....this since you are so meticulous -- etc., She had a steadfast career motive and that is what kept her going.  The second time around, when she broke up with JY, it was because she might have felt suffocated not being able to handle him being jealous around other males.  I think she suffered too since we caught her running behind his car when she spotted him after the break up.  This might have caused her to marry the doc.    Having a child changes things -  Sori was the connector between doc and YJ.  Once that connection broke, YJ was not able to accept his help to recover.  So, conceiving again was out of the question.  That brings me to say that the first one might have been accidental (just thinking).  Even her interaction and Doc's interaction is about the child.  If they were in love or the child conceived henceforth, why did we not see him hugging her or consoling her in anyway.    This might be the reason for their separation.  Now on the last day, YJ and Doc show up at a restaurant and it is JY there .  That must have thrown all three out of their realm, or may be that might have been a parting gift from the Doc.  Now, JY is clueless as to the pain YJ is going through -  especially the loss of her child and henceforth the loss of marriage.  We can definitely say that the loss of the child weighs heavily on her than her marriage.  I was even surprised to see the photo of all three in their home.  Do divorcees do that.  I don't think so.

 

The writer might take this story in one of the two ways.  JY and YJ becoming great friends and each of their partners be with them.  Or he could make JY and YJ a couple and ditch the other two.  I would prefer the first option since all of them can be happy.  The second option makes the two partners sad since they lost in this game of love.

 

WRITER - please don't write such sad dramas - Even though you are not forcing us to watch these, this much of pain should not be suffered by any.  Not even a drama couple.  

Why assume it was a marriage of convenience? We know HC really loved YJ. It's not like she wasn't attracted to him. She was. He offered her love, friendship, comfort, the kind of life she wanted, even at the cost to himself. So it would have been perfectly normal for them to have a normal marriage and Sori conceived as part of that. We know that,  at least for him,  it was not a marriage of convenience. He even says, sadly yet still gently, "I can't believe I pushed so hard. Why did I try so hard and for so long?" So he obviously hoped she'd come to love him as much as he loved her. To me,  it's sad and not cool that she married him without loving him, knowing that he loved her so much. I understand her need of his comfort, and her attraction to him, but.....

 

We do see him trying to hold her, but she's so deep inside the bottle and her own grief that she doesn't even sense his pain or accept his attempt to comfort her. 

[Guest mywebfoot]

To borrow some lyrics from Shakira: "I'm crazy but I like it, loca, loca, loca."   

I see the show's faults, and I've read the viewers' dissatisfied comments, both here and on Twitter. I can see why viewers would hate the endless suffering (eps 10-14 with no end in sight!). Still, I think that suffering is an important part of the story, and I will address that suffering towards the end of this long post. 

To me, the main thing the show did wrong, was that its marketing set up a bunch of expectations that it had absolutely no intention of fulfilling! :))  The disgruntled viewers are the ones who were given a series of cute couple pix as the main draw for the drama. Tell me, what else were they supposed to expect?
Having said that, I would like to try to explain what has me intrigued, and watching. If only to convince myself that I am not truly loco. 

Spoiler

To understand the show, I think one first has to let go of formula expectations. In other words, don’t expect the rom com formula (cute meet, fight, make up, happy ending). Don’t expect a melo either (sad, tragedy, sad, tragedy, sad). Rather, take guidance straight from Director Pyo Min Su’s understanding of the story, as retold by Dramabeans here.

 

Key points to note:
1.    The drama never, EVER labeled itself a rom com. Not once. Only in the blogosphere of not-so-professional writers, did it morph into a rom com. Again, I don’t blame them because of all the cute couple pix that were used for the publicity. 

2.    The drama DID call itself “an epic poem that follows a couple through the four seasons, over the course of twelve years. We’ll follow the couple from age twenty to thirty-two: spring at age twenty, summer at age twenty-seven, and fall and winter at thirty-two.”
LOL, people just don’t listen. And yunno, it’s a complicated thought that’s being expressed here. Those are difficult to communicate, so it’s little wonder that nobody actually heard them explain the seasonal nature of this love story. 

 

3.    And more, “The seasons are metaphors for the stages of their romance, which begins with sweet budding feelings at twenty years old. Then things heat up with the summer of their romance at twenty-seven, .... They’re described as an unusual couple that’s been together for seven years but is still on day two of their relationship.”
Hoo boy… that’s even worse to explain. It’s like a longitudinal study of a relationship. So yeah, little wonder few people are quite getting it. 

 

So, let me try to explain what I see in this show. In one word – GROWTH. From puppy love to beaten up, scarred, mature love. 

 

I think it was obvious that the Spring of Joon and Youngjae’s love was when they were teenagers. But that love got derailed by Soojae’s accident, which made Youngjae’s circumstances change. Always the poor orphan, the single time Youngjae thought she could access the life of a middle-class youth, she was beaten back by a tragic turn of life. I thought that was a statement about the lack of social capital of someone with no rich parents, no parents at all, no privileged education, living as a caregiver. When bad things happen, there is little option for recovery.   

When they met again as young adults, Joon only picked up where he left off. Youngjae however, had gone through hell, and matured far past her age. Think about that. To him, it was almost as if it was a week later, not years. He was still so sore from her challenge that he did the exact thing she said he couldn’t do – become a policeman -  but not very happily. “A man with plans but no goal,” she called him. His life was not his, it was only defined by an urge to prove her wrong about him. He was completely mistaken about her reasons for dumping him, making his early twenties a major misstep in his life. 
But he kissed her and voila, they were together again. It was almost as if they got together to continue a teenage love story put on pause. That is often regarded as a romantic story, but actually their summer love bore little consideration of where they were as adults already. Hence the director’s description of Youngjae and Joon being a like a “couple on their second day”. Little substance, but swept into romance, and thriving on the abundance of sunshine and bounty to be found in summer, aka, the good life. 

It took a while, but sure enough, their adult dreams started to come to the fore, and neither of them knew what to do with it. Youngjae had “goals, but no plans.” Her half-formed aspirations as a teenager had become full grown ambition by the time she met Joon again. She wanted career success and metropolitan sophistication.  To her, these things would indicate she had well and truly left her marginalized childhood behind. 

He only wanted her. 

Again, this is often seen as romantic, but as Joon found out, it’s hardly a good basis for romance. After all, one must be their own person before they can offer love to another. Joon’s love, as a young man, was constraining Youngjae. The more he loved her, the less she enjoyed it. The less she enjoyed his faithful love, the more guilty she felt. It was a downward spiral, but one that I don’t think either of them could have rescued. Joon needed to grow up. Youngjae needed to fulfill her dreams. 

And here is where the story left many viewers’ behind, because it broke the dream couple up.  But it is at this point that my laundry-folding watching stopped, and my ears perked up and I started to watch with my heart and my head going wow… wow…..
You need to know, I have my 20th anniversary coming next year. I’ve seen love in many forms, from infatuation to sexual love, from happy love to grumpy love, from proper love to frumpy love. 

And now, old love.

 

To me, The Third Charm is a story of the love of two old people. In some ways, the 5 years between their second breakup and their third meeting isn’t enough to illustrate the growth both Joon and Youngjae have had. The story being told now is of two much older characters, perhaps even 20 years later in life. They broke up as kids, really, and now after a small lifetime of other loves and dreams lost, they cross paths again. Perhaps the story bit off more than it can chew, because they not only parted, they hurt each other and it became a mutual agreement to part ways. How do two people recover from that and find each other again?
Which brings me to The Third Charm. The title evokes the English saying – “The third time’s the charm”, meaning it takes three tries to get something right. Ooops. Nope. The Korean reference is to the hidden, third reason why people get together despite surface reasons to be apart. See the Dramabeans article above. Yes, yes, it’s the all-fated, Korean drama obsession with the inevitable love. 

So, what will it take to bring Joon back to Youngjae and Youngjae back to Joon? Suffering. Hear me out, I normally hate endless suffering in kdramas as much as anybody else. The only time suffering is to be tolerated is when the drama gives it meaning. Some have pointed out Youngjae seems to have had more than her share of tough luck. As she says, “everyone she loves is hurt, or has left her.” This is critical to the story, I think. As much as I love Youngjae’s tough character, I have also felt that her ambitions were a tad shallow. Our pretty but suave cosmetic surgeon doctor practically embodied her ambition, unfortunately. Joo Ran is an exaggerated version of Youngjae – chasing the appearance of marriage and children as if they were assets to own. No, the drama says, we are all mortal, and facing our own mortality is often an excellent way to start looking for meaning in life. 

 

Joon became a better person once he stopped being someone else’s dream, and started living a bizarre little chef’s dream – to cook lovingly, every night, for a single table of eaters. Food is love to him, and his very soul is nourished every day when he feeds people without thought to large profits. 

Youngjae – it was suffering that gave her her ambitions to escape, and it is also suffering that will turn her away from those ambitions. Her precious child was lost, her beautiful cosmopolitan dream shattered. Don’t get me wrong, Youngjae has every right to chase those ambitions! But life happens. In all its nasty twists and turns, life happens. As humans, this drama seems to say, it is not our job to fight life, but to roll with the punches. When the loss of something so precious happens, to succeed again one has to find new meaning in life. And new courage to seek those ambitions. Think of all the inspiring comeback stories we hear in the news.

Do you see it? With episode 14, suddenly all the threads are coming together – Joo Ran and her cancer making her give up her dreams to have a child, Soo Jae and his accident making him give up on ever finding a life partner, Youngjae and her lost family making her give up on her cosmopolitan dreams, Officer Min and her courage making her get her hunky police boyfriend.  Even RiWon, I think she’s only tough on Sang Hyun because she thinks he will stray if he gets too confident in her love for him. She doesn’t dare love him openly. 

And Joon? Joon is our blue-eyed boy. Our lucky hero. He is us. He gets to be the one watching all this happen, always a little ahead of the pack, but also out of touch with everybody’s suffering until it literally lands in front of his nose. He gets to be the hand that reaches out and pulls Youngjae back from the brink. 

Some may say that it’s unfair to him, that he always has to be the one to ‘save’ Youngjae. Some may say that Youngjae needs to love him more. Perhaps. 

But look, she is starting to sacrifice for him already. To appease his insecure young girlfriend, she agrees to a blind date that must have been so tough for her. She was protecting Joon’s relationship. And this was after Joon taught her to cook, symbolically helping her find herself again, and obviously showing care for her again. When you love someone, you want what they want for themselves. That’s an important lesson. Something young Youngjae and Joon could have benefitted from. 
 
And so, I look forward to the last two episodes when all these threads come together. The acting has been phenomenal and I look forward to celebrating newfound courage, despite the challenges life throws at us.  This drama is indeed an epic poem about love, a celebration of the everyday courage that represents old couples. 

 

Phew, I am not loco. Thanks for reading!

 

 

[chickfactor]

4 hours ago, tali58 said:

She's clearly suffering from depression. A very realistic reaction to a loss of a child, especially since she was with Sori when it happened, so her feelings of guilt must also be incredibly heavy. 

 

Even couples deeply in love or who are also friends sometimes can't survive together after the loss of a child, especially a small child.  It takes a lot to make it through such darkness and pain. But when one partner can't or won't communicate, and doesn't see the other partner's pain, then the marriage fails. 

 

Everyone deals with pain in different ways. We know that Young-Jae bottles up her feelings and shuts down. It's what she has needed to do to survive. It's not the best way, but who's to say? For now, she's in survival mode.

 

She was finally taking baby steps to healing. She cooked her favorite food for herself, she wore socks. These little acts of self-care were huge steps. It's certainly appropriate that she is healing through Joon-Young's food. He wanted his food to be comforting and healing. Eating it and cooking the way he taught her was his gift to her.

 

During the conversation with Joo-Ran at the salon, Young-Jae sounded practically normal, like she used to sound.

 

Until, of course, Joo-Ran dropped the cancer bomb. Talk about kicking someone when they are down. Joo-Ran was her best friend and her rock. Of course it was devastating. I do not blame Young-Jae for completely losing it, at this point.

 

Joo-Ran will be okay. That short hair looks chic on her. (And also very real! Not a wig?)

 

--

 

I think that Young-Jae loved Joon-Young. I also think that she loved Ho-Chul.

We (me!) did NOT want that to be true, but they genuinely seemed very happy together, very close. And if So-Ri hadn't died, they probably would have stayed happily married. Whatever reason Young-Jae had for her decision to dump Joon-Young and marry Ho-Chul, I think it was the right decision for her. It made us (me) sad, but as a grown adult, she has every right to do what she wants.
 

I don't know it this ends on romance. For that to happen, I hope Young-Jae does explain to Joon-Young (and to us! Me!) why she made that decision at age 27. What she did is fine, but Joon-Young would want to know. (I want to know.)

 

If not, it's okay. She is a woman who is grieving. If these two end with true friendship, it will be fine.

 

I want to see these two work it out. Talk together. Eat together. Cry together.

 

And drink together, of course. (Because they're Korean. Ha ha.)

 

I was very afraid that a dead child in the plot would grind everything to a halt and feel manipulative, but this show has managed to make it work. It's being handled with enough realism and grace that I'm willing to go along with it.

[sheza]

@bedifferent I still haven't watch ep 13 and 14 subbed yet.  I am waiting for a fully subbed version so I won't miss anything.

With only two episodes left, based on the pace of the show, I don't think this drama will have a happily after ending like other kdramas.  It will probably be left quite open ... just like how life is supposed to be ... 

This show is absorbing though.  I simply love how it is thought provoking and it makes us think about deep issues.  I don't like pain but this drama hurts so good.  

YJ has been very cryptic in her words but yet I think the little she has spoken gave us a hint of what she may be feeling.  I can't make out a full picture yet because YJ is very mysterious but please indulge in trying to put some of my thoughts here:

She said JY makes her feel special.  Some of us think that YJ is depressed due to the death of her little girl.  I am inclined to think she has been depressed for longer than that.  Her tough exterior, cool image and reluctance to confront emotional issues are masking all that sad feelings that has been a well deep inside her.  From young since the death of her parents, she is unable to express her true emotions.   When JY comes along, she felt special.  She felt significant.  She felt alive.  YJ told HC that she was swayed but NOT by him.  What is she swayed by?  Her ambition?  Her desire to make her mark of significance out there in the world of hairdressing?  So I too wonder why she married HC.  And she had a child with him.  The child must have brought her a sense of significance and purpose.  Every child would mean a world to the parent and every parent to the child.  But when the child died that was the straw that broke the camel's back.  I think her world came crashing.  Now, she is so lost, she is at the point of suicide.  JY comes along once again and help her pick up the pieces.  He is giving her strength to carry on.  The whole scene from teaching her how to cook to her actually cooking illustrates this.  From eating instant noodles, she now bothers to cook for herself.  It is like giving her a fresh start.  A reason to live again.  

I believe that JY has no ulterior motive or intention of getting back together with YJ.  He just wanted to help her with no strings attached.  Just like the time he was angry with her but he helped her recover her lost file.  That's true selfless love, caring for someone and not expecting anything else in return.  When YJ agreed to date the cop at SE's request, she was doing it for JY.  She's doing her bit to allay the SE's fear for JY's benefit.  This is the only way I can see it because it is not in YJ's personality to comply to such things.  This shows maturity on her part compared to her 20 something year old self.  

That call at the end is a desperate S.0.S call from YJ at the lowest point of her life.  She has lost everything and JY seems to be the only lifeline she is holding onto.  She didn't mean to insert herself in the middle of JY relationship with SE.  She was just desperate.  I am sure JY will go running to her rescue.  I would be disappointed if he didn't.  He will run to her not because he is still in love with her (even if that is true), he will run to her because it is the right thing to do, just like he did when SJ called numerous times.  As an aside, we saw how JY bailed SJ out so many times. Even when SJ tried to repay his debt to JY,  JY always ended up paying for him.  I think the siblings will never be able to repay the debt they owe JY.   Also, SJ unlike SE's brothers likes JY for who he is and not what he can do for his sister. 

I feel sorry for HC and SE because in a sense, JY and YJ 's heart is together even when they are not together that it is very difficult for HC or SE to insert themselves in between.  After two charms, by now the third charm, even if YJ and JY don't end up together, you know and you know that they love each other deeply at the expense of themselves.  So if I am HC or SE, I don't think I'd even want to try.  

 

So to answer that question: what did YJ lose and she found again?  A big piece of herself.  JY has always found a big piece of herself and JY is a also another big piece of herself.  

Sorry just to add: (this is my habit - editing after publishing to waffle on more!)
Compared to the 1st charm, this time when YJ's world comes crashing on her, she didn't push JY away with brusque comments and carry the burden by herself.  This time in the third charm she is finally showing her vulnerability to JY.  How could JY not run to her?  Go JY go!  
 

[tingth]

@mywebfoot .. bravo to your insightful comment .. I truely like it. Just want to let you know

[bedifferent]

 

@USAFarmgirl @jbying7  

 

Let me just start by thanking JTBC and this drama for bringing attention to depression heads on, in a time that is needed, showing how the darkness that can swallow us whole if not for a thing called human kindness.  Esom is so awesome in her role.  Her nuanced performance in episodes 13-14 brought so much sadness, sensitivity and grace to Young Jae's struggle.  JTBC, 25% owned by JoongAng Ilbo, once again produced the kind of dramas that deal with social issues the news company are proud to spotlight.  There are so many things the writing and PD did right to show us the abyss that Esom was in and how Joon Young with his big heart plus generous personality changed her.  It is meant to be for them.  The Third Charm is about how the other person changed your world in ways beyond friendship (first charm) or fateful love (second charm).  These two belong together, not just because they are best friends and lovers.  Joon Young gave back to Young Jae the will to climb out of the darkness into the light.  The will to put one foot forward of the other, to get her socks on, to taste foods again... the will to live.  

 

There are a lot I want to say about our secondary characters (they are absolutely MVPs here, I don't think the writer butchered them at all IMHO) but I have to talk more about Sang Hyun, Riwon and Se-Eun at another time.

 

I just want to hug Joo-Ran.  She's my Most Improved Player and one beautiful strong woman.  Her transformation from someone who was preoccupied with physical attractiveness, willing to role play to get attention and love, to one who called out others for being self centered and pretentious.  Lee Yoon-Ji's depiction of a woman discovering her late-staged uterine/ovarian cancer diagnosis hits all the right notes in the realistic way the emotions are played out.  From fear to sadness to acceptance and the courageous way she plans out her future, it is so real.  What made me love her was the change in her character. There was self reflection in her thoughts and actions.  It's unexpectedly heartbreaking for me to see her not worrying about her loss of hair (given her love of it and career choice) but instead expressing remorse over not fully understanding Soo Jae's past struggles.  I love love her admonishing Soo Jae's prejudice over the idol actor, forgetting not long ago when he was looked down on due to his limited abilities.  In success, Soo Jae has lost the humble soul that housed the kindness and thoughtfulness that elevated his scriptwriting.  Like Young Jae, Soo Jae stumbles when it comes to giving love and learning to receive love.  I personally think he faults himself for not being able to be a father so he rejects any relationship (especially Joo-Ran who wanted children badly) because of it.  Ironically, Joo-Ran will not be to bear a child in the future due to her diagnosis so I think this will be the bond that they can share to finally break down Soo-Jae's fear of commitment.  Life has its own mysterious way of delivering blessings.  Both need to realize that there are many other viable options that will help them conceive a child.  They just need to be honest with their feelings to go forward with the relationship.  If both chose the non-romantic route, I still think they can be of great comfort to each other,  as whole or complete person in every sense of the word.

 

Ho-Chul.  I want to say thank you for beating my expectations of the kind of person I thought you are.  True to his word, Ho-Chul learned from his past marriage and worked hard on his union with Young Jae.  Married her despite the objection of his mother (no doubt because of her background), stayed faithful and devoted to his family, and went more than half way to love Young Jae.  Young Jae married Ho Chul because of his enormous love.  It's the same kind of feelings Joon Young has for Se-Eun where one partner loves the other unconditionally unapologetically.  In turn, Young Jae learned to love him.  This generous kind of love in which you accepted all liabilities and faults whether it is in your favor or not.  The kind that should guarantee a return except that the heart doesn't follow rules and logic on paper.  It's a selfless kind of love which amplified even more due to Ho-Chul's desire to atone for the mistakes in his past marriage where he felt he didn't try hard enough.  Like others, I do think that Ho Chul wanted make sure Young Jae has someone to support her in Korea after he returned to Lisbon so the dinner indeed was planned on purpose.  That speaks volume about the kind of man Ho-Chul is as well as their marriage.  Their marriage thrived on his love.  That alone is not enough to break the wall Young Jae puts up when she is in pain.  This is where Joon Young and the third charm comes in.

 

I really love how the nuanced the writing and directing are in these two episodes.  These screencaps are some of what I love about them.

 

Spoiler

Young Jae asked about Sang Hyun

Reflecting her own marriage and perhaps love for Ho-Chul.

Se-Eun then asked about her ex-BF

Which Young-Jae ruefully admitted... mixed feelings for Young Jae's current success and his engagement.  

Outside, after dinner, saying goodbye where Young Jae gracefully disengaged from her past and Joon Young, conscious of her own emotional baggage.

Noticing things like he always does but will to separate himself from the past to respect his current life.  How great is Joon Young in this moment?

 

 

Young-Jae feels nothing but the basic of human functions... sleeping, eating.  The first step starts here.

 

 

Spoiler

Food, water, love.  Is that all she needs?

 

Kindness wins here.  Now we know why Joon Young's kindness is the saving grace for Young Jae. Kindness matters. It's his third charm.

 

The new Joon Young has stopped running to Young Jae's rescue.  Handling over the umbrella, asking her to be strong to make the choice to save herself.

 

 

Unlike others, I actually like that Young Jae reached out to Joon Young at the end of E14 as she was willing to open up and asked others for help.  Many many moons ago, the old Young Jae would forced herself to be be the last survivor standing, unwilling to show her weaknesses even declining Soo-Jae's offer to help.  It's a great sign and a huge change in her character to seek help when she is overwhelmed.  I can't even tell you how great it is for the drama to show how important it is for people who suffer depression to tell others of their problems.  So yeah, I am glad she called Young Jae.

 

I like how Joon Young reflects his own pilgrimage to self discovery onto Young Jae to help her find the way.  Teaching her how to cook her favorite dish, rely on her own strength, stop the self pitying, reminding her of her strength to overcome... all the things that he can do to help her instead of doing it for her.  How far have we grown dear Joon Young?  It's this intangible bond between them, of how he knows her and she of him, that makes their relationship a precious one.  Even if they don't end up romantically together, he did the right thing by helping her through the lowest point in her life.  Talk about paying forward what the Small Table chef did for him.  Although these two episodes in most part were dark, the end was very uplifting for me cause it shows how one person's small act of kindness can be of great comfort to another person in her time of need.  It's a great thing to see human resiliency and humanity prevail when it matters the most.  I love it.

 

Spoiler

 

 

[Guest mywebfoot]

1 hour ago, tingth said:

@mywebfoot .. bravo to your insightful comment .. I truely like it. Just want to let you know

Thank you!!!

[Guest]

 

I was rewatching the phone call scene I might as well confess more than once and hearing the glass seeming to shatter in the back gound and thinking back for some reason on something very painful that YJ faced. Maybe because there was so much I wanted to say in my last post that I hadn't thought of it until now...

 

Being called upon by the fiance of the man who is still a part of your heart and life for a meeting only to realize her intention was to hook you up with a blind date.  When the fiance already knows how she feels and even earlier how YJ was graceful in saying congratulations to them while hurting inside.  Yet she is faced with the willingness to accept for the sake of JY.

 

Why would the fiance go out of her way to do such a thing?  Fear...  In realizing the only threat to her was sitting across from her and she needed to tie those heart strings up and tie a knot by giving her someone else. How naive to think that love works like that or that in someones heart JY could be that easily replaced by a stand in. 

Nope, not even close...