Quantcast
Jump to content
0ly40

[Drama 2018] Let me introduce her / If it's her / About Her, 그녀로 말할 것 같으면

Recommended Posts

@millicom, I don’t like to blame others for the actions of others but I do have to admit that Min is like an accessory to the crime of her son’s abuse. She should not have turned a blind eye to it even if she didn’t want to call the police on him. She was still protecting her son. I guess because she blames herself for his twisted personality she is and was weak towards him and in dealing with the situation. I really hope he continues to do what he’s doing so that his punishment would escalate. He needs to be dealt with severely because I can’t even see it registering in his mind that he did something wrong. I’m so tired of watching his arrogant mug. At least Jung shows fear and terror particularly when she thinks Hitman 1 would expose her but I have never seen the anchor terrified or fearful. He’s almost always arrogant and most likely thinks he’s untouchable no matter his inadequacies. 

 

Edit: Apparently the last episodes air on Saturday, September 29th because next Saturday a movie special will be airing instead. Anybody heard this too?

  • Like 8

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@celebrianna @millicom ~ am not sure if I misinterpreted but I was under the impression that from the beginning, doctor psychiatrist was min's middleman and that she was trying to cure eun han's depression in order to get eun han to find the strength to leave the situation. sort of indirectly help her as she couldn't do it directly. but I don't think she knew how chang ki and jung took advantage of eun han's depression to their own advantage... she did seem genuinely shocked by some of the revelations that eun han said. also not sure if it is delusion or simply her own desperate wishful thinking but she seems to see chang ki as someone who could potentially be helped through a mental healthcare professional.....

 

but just as a curiousity question: if suppose you knew (a very close family member) like chang ki was being abusive, so how does one deal with that kind of situation?

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just think that of all of the people, she has the capability to help JEH out of the situation.  The helpers can't do anything because they might lose their jobs.  JEH's mom couldn't help her at the time because I think after the operation, she was afraid that her son will still die, her brother was sick, the doctor because there was no evidence.  I acknowledge that she tried to help in a way but she was basically relying on an abused person to save herself.  The most drastic way that she could have helped was to report the abuse to the police, or since she had money, made arrangements to take JEH and DaRa safely and hide them somewhere, have her son committed...etc but of course she wouldn't do that, because she refused to believe that her son could be so evil or she's concerned about their reputation. 

Her way of helping was to basically make JEH's life miserable as well so she will run away which she finally did.

Also, even when JEH tried to commit suicide and they labelled her as suffering from depression, she didn't think the reason was because her son was beating her? 

As for who is more evil between Jung and CK? Both of them are equally evil, they deserve each other.

 

  • Like 8

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, zenya22 said:

Going back to the first episodes and connecting them to these last episodes, tells a history of the beginnings and continuation of the obsessive/abusive personality of KCK as told by @bebebisous33 comparing the character to Bluebeard. KCK was attracted to JEH for the qualities he described "innocence, kindness yet spirited" but the attraction turned quickly into control, the "cardinal" sign of obsession. In the first episodes we see KCK kissing JEH passionately infront of their co workers at the station. One co-worker joked that the anchor was giving a warning to all that JEH was his woman and no one else. Little did he know how prophetic his words would become. Then KCK puts JEH in a no way out, obligatory and controlled situation when he pays for her brother's hospital bills, buys her family a house and a business to run. He rushed the marriage by registering it and no celebration, not letting his family, friends or acquaintances know and brought EH to the states. all signs of wanting absolute control. Back in SK, no news about her, no attendance of public affairs, no pictures of any kind and she is escorted everywhere by bodyguards, drivers or by the butler. Raging jealousy of anyone whom she associates with and the result of the jealousy will be her punishment or EH failure not to meet his expectations or his perception that he can't control will end up in abuse. 

 

I agree. When he realizes that he had been played by Jung he will blame Jung as the cause of his abuse and yes, I could see him beating up Jung for "making him abusive" .... 

@zenya22admire onion headAwesome analysis about KCK's obsession for JEH. good job onion headI really enjoyed reading it. crazy monkeyBut your description of the evolution of their relationship made me realize how little by little KCK took over her life and started suffocating her. I guess, at first she didn't notice, how she was losing control over her life: the rushed marriage, the disappearance for two years, the lack of communication with her relatives. I am sure that KCK always had an excuse hence she didn't say anything. "His mother was against the marriage", "they were living in the States hence she couldn't visit or even call her relatives (too expensive, the time gap aso)". I don't think that the physical abuse started right away. I guess, at some point she might have argued with him or even complained about her situation hence he used violence to make her submissive. This also explains why she became a housewife and stopped writing. If she had worked, then she would had escaped his control.

I have to admit that although I had already connected the story of Bluebeard to this drama, even before it was mentioned, I didn't expect the writer would use the fairy tale in order to describe "spousal abuse". I had rather imagined that KCK had killed a woman before... It was even more simple. Nevertheless, I really like how the writer saw in  "Bluebeard" an allegory of domestic violence which is true. I had just associated Bluebeard with "misogynistic society" where the woman has to obey the husband.  

 

Then I would like to outline the contrast between the beginning of the episode 17 and the ending of the episode 18. We see how different KCK and HKW are.

Spoiler

LMIH 17 1.png

KCK's room is in the basement, where there is no sun, no plants and only artificial lights. LMIH 17 2.pngNotice that in the first picture, he is talking to his wife without even looking into her eyes. He is actually putting his "red glove" in order to punch her. In all the pictures I am posting, you can observe that JEH is always in the background. LMIH 17 3.pngHe is filmed in a way that underlines his superiority based on his strength and physical body. When the camera shows JEH's face, she is trembling and even crying.. she is paralyzed and can not even say anything. KCK makes her speechless. Finally in the last picture, you see how KCK threw her onto the couch... she is lying there defenseless. 

Spoiler

LMIH 17 4.png

If you pay attention to the colours in this scene, there are only cold colors: blue, black and brown. Even the artificial lights are not able to give some warmth. KCK is using the room in the basement in order to make his wife submissive. He doesn't allow her to express herself... He wants her all to himself. Like he said once, he needs to break her wings so that she will remain by his side. JEH is perceived as a bird caught in a cage. Striking is that KCK uses Herlioz symphonie in order to control his wife... the music has an effect on her. She gets emotional... KCK doesn't seem to enjoy the music as such. It is just his way to make sure that his wife is affected: fear and paralysis.

 

Now, at the end of the episode 18, doctor Han and JEH are on the rooftop, in the patio where they can enjoy the view of Seoul. LMIH 18 1.pngThis place is important to our OTP. They spent a lot of time there, remembering happy times. Here, JEH is able to see the nature (plants, river, sun) and this is an open space. This scene contrasts so much to KCK's room. Our doctor Han wants her to feel free and see the world. He wants her to be happy. Notice that HKW is looking at her, unlike KCK in the first picture. He lets her do anything. She is his gravity. Then she makes a wish: LMIH 18 2.png Notice the second contrast here. HKW is asked to sing himself. Not only the music is more natural and simple than "the symphonie fantastique". The song serves another purpose: evoke positive emotions. We see how the camera zooms on JEH's face and we see her smiling. To conclude, both musics had a similar purpose: evoke emotions. Yet, in KCK's case the symphonie was supposed ignite fear and paralysis and as for the Chinese song, love and happiness were the intended emotions.

And if we look at the finale picture, 

Spoiler

LMIH 18 3.png

 there is also a seat. While the couch in KCK's room seems to be more comfortable, it was used for spousal abuse. JEH was lying on the couch which underlined her inferiority. With HKW, JEH is sitting next to him. They are both equal. The bench which is usually less comfortable than a couch illustrates how comfortable JEH feels in that moment. Despite the huge amount of luxury, JEH never felt happy and comfortable in KCK's room. Here in the patio, she is surrounded by simple and cheap objects, yet she is able to enjoy the beauty of it. Our beloved doctor treats her with respect as he is always following her lead. He lets her speak, as soon as she wishes something, doctor Han does what she wants. In return, she smiles at him and makes him feel loved. 

As conclusion, this last scene symbolizes JEH's freedom. Han has set her free but because of his gentleness and enduring support, she loves him back. KCK was surprised to see JEH's smile. Because in reality it is what he has always wanted to get: be loved!  

@USAFarmgirl @celebrianna @Lmangla

   

  • Like 7
  • Insightful 1
  • Thanks 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

By the way, if anyone has a link on the score (music) that they use at the end of each episode and also found at the start of episode 3 (when Dr Han was operating on JEH), please post it here.  

I actually really like the music they have at the end of each episode when they are giving us these cliffhanger scenes, and the score helps in pumping up the excitement

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@bebebisous33, great analysis. I also like that in the ending scene JEH was

looking down on him.

 

2 hours ago, Lmangla said:

but just as a curiousity question: if suppose you knew (a very close family member) like chang ki was being abusive, so how does one deal with that kind of situation?

I would definitely call the police if I saw one of my male family members physically abusing any of their wives. Once upon a time every Friday evening I used to watch Dateline NBC and almost every case they covered was about a husband who either get away with killing his wife or was eventually jailed for it. They were true cases. They interviewed detectives who worked the case, family members (on both sides with different statements), coworkers, etc. A few times they had it where the wife killed the husband premedatively but it was very rare. After a while I stopped watching. It was just too much to know these people murdered or suspected of murdering their spouses.

 

This is probably the the reason why I loathe KCK more than Jung. Oh, I loathe her too but I just have a special hatred for men who abuse their wives. I don’t care whether Jung manipulated him or not. His choice to believe her was his own. His choice to beat his wife was his own. His choice to blame his wife for his child’s aphasia was his own. All his choices were his own.

 

 

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@celebrianna Yes, KCK is not just a victim of Jung, he is indeed a perpetrator. He chose to hurt her and even to send her to the mental institute. Jung would have never called the ambulance without his consent. To me, president Min, JEH's mother and the house personal are all accomplices, except SH. The latter never heart about the beating but his mother knew.

- President Min resented JEH and her family and didn't want to tarnish her family's reputation

- The mother closed her eyes because of SH's injuries and tried to diminish KCK's crimes. Now, she says that she never expected him to treat her daughter like that. Then what did she imagine back then when her daughter complained?  

- Even doctor Jang is not entirely clean. He was the one who gave the prescription... he knew about the abuse. At some point, he got so disgusted.

We have to imagine that her torment lasted for at least 5 years!! And this is a long time... The indifference, the fear of ruining the image of a respectable family, the cowardice, the greed, the resent are the reasons why it is difficult for a victim to escape from that trap.

I love how doctor Han is so determined and fearless. He is very different from his father who blamed his wife for their misery. Han has actually never blamed JEH for making his life difficult and putting his life in danger.

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 hours ago, bebebisous33 said:

@celebrianna Yes, KCK is not just a victim of Jung, he is indeed a perpetrator. He chose to hurt her and even to send her to the mental institute. Jung would have never called the ambulance without his consent. To me, president Min, JEH's mother and the house personal are all accomplices, except SH. The latter never heart about the beating but his mother knew.

- President Min resented JEH and her family and didn't want to tarnish her family's reputation

- The mother closed her eyes because of SH's injuries and tried to diminish KCK's crimes. Now, she says that she never expected him to treat her daughter like that. Then what did she imagine back then when her daughter complained?  

- Even doctor Jang is not entirely clean. He was the one who gave the prescription... he knew about the abuse. At some point, he got so disgusted.

We have to imagine that her torment lasted for at least 5 years!! And this is a long time... The indifference, the fear of ruining the image of a respectable family, the cowardice, the greed, the resent are the reasons why it is difficult for a victim to escape from that trap.

I love how doctor Han is so determined and fearless. He is very different from his father who blamed his wife for their misery. Han has actually never blamed JEH for making his life difficult and putting his life in danger.

Bingo, you have said it all. All of them had a chance to help her but they didn't because reputation and their selfish needs were more important. As for the brother, I don't blame him for not having the power to help his sister. Thank god at least he is doing something now along with Dr. Han. 

 

It was realistic for JEH not to fight back at the beginning of ep 17 whether she knew martial arts or not because the abuse as you said was a long term. Unfortunately her body remembers the abuse. I'm glad Dr. Han, a complete stranger helped her out when she gave up on herself. She has come along way from the beginning to now. 

 

I was wondering what 'sleeping with the enemy' meant, now I know.  Whether CK got manipulated by Jung's lies or something traumatic happened to him in the past, he is worse than a scumbag in my eyes. Him getting locked up at a mental institute is the best punishment. Death is an easy way out. I loved the ending of ep 18 when he comes to Dr. Han apartment and sees JEH smile freely for the first time. The realization that he can no longer chop her wings as he thought he would and the worse part is; she no longer belongs to him. It was beautiful and the best face slap :thumbsup:

 

 

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 9/16/2018 at 2:12 AM, bebebisous33 said:

as for KCK, I have no word. He is even worse than the husband from "sleeping with my enemy" because KCK gave in to imprison her for the rest of her life. He doesn't love JEH, he is just obsessed with her... He views her as an object hence showing resilience is a big no for him. The fact that he accepted the idea of sending JEH to a mental institute in the end underlines how much Jung could influence him. He still thinks, he is in control of everything. He is definitely a control freak.

I think that Dr. Han's presence and the threat of him taking away EH, and CK's perception of Dr Han's  business partnership with his mother also influenced CK's decision. During their evening walk around the mansion grounds after dinner, Dr Han asked Min if she wants to walk with her son. Min then asked CK to walk with him since it has been awhile that they walked together around the grounds and Dr Han walked with EH where they talked. CK kept looking back angrily at EH and Dr Han talking. Also, he found out through Jung about the plan to get away when Dr. Han, CK and President Min were going to the golf course. That was why the golf business date was cancelled. CK overheard EH on the phone talking to Dr Han about the plan. As for leaving EH for life at the psych hospital, in my opinion, that was only  in Jung's head because as in Sleeping With the Enemy, where the pbsessed man traced her from all over the country, CK will never give up EH, the object of his obsession to anyone or anywhere but by his side. EH has said that her stay in the psych hospital was always temporary and in my view it was also a form of punishment and control. An intimidation technique, you behave or else. This time was a desperate attempt for CK to get EH away from KW who is threatening to take her away.  Dr Jang also mentioned that when EH was brought to the psych hospital, there was no way for him to get to EH. Also, in the psych hospital, CK could have restricted the attending physicians to the inhouse psychiatries and visitors only to himself. So, putting EH in a psych hospital was to get EH away from Dr. Han but his obsession will make him bring EH back to the mansion and the basement. Jung is deluded, totally if she thought that this time it will be different, that CK will leave EH there for life. "if I can't have you no one else can" and in a mental hospital, CK will lose control over her, the mental health professionals might just help her get away. It is very unsafe also for the person who wants to get the object of obsession from the the obsessor especially if that person also is less powerful than the abuser such as Jung. If he learns what Jung did, that she hired someone to kill EH, she will not be safe from his fury. He will blame Jung for EH leaving. 

 

On 9/16/2018 at 7:49 AM, Lmangla said:

@celebrianna @millicom ~ am not sure if I misinterpreted but I was under the impression that from the beginning, doctor psychiatrist was min's middleman and that she was trying to cure eun han's depression in order to get eun han to find the strength to leave the situation. sort of indirectly help her as she couldn't do it directly. but I don't think she knew how chang ki and jung took advantage of eun han's depression to their own advantage... she did seem genuinely shocked by some of the revelations that eun han said. also not sure if it is delusion or simply her own desperate wishful thinking but she seems to see chang ki as someone who could potentially be helped through a mental healthcare professional.....

 

but just as a curiousity question: if suppose you knew (a very close family member) like chang ki was being abusive, so how does one deal with that kind of situation?

 

The problem with curing the depression to get EH to find strength, is that the cause of the depression is in the house ever present and threatening to the safety of EH and her daughter. Giving her antidepressant pills is not the cure. She has to get away from the cause safely. 

 

As for the question, how does one deal with a close family member who is abusive? It is complicated but for me, the the first course of action is to help the one being abused to get away safely. It is not easy task to do because the person being abused has to want to get away, a lot of counseling and help from profesional agencies who are knowledgable about abuse is needed. One also needs commitment to help. Once the person is ready to leave, plans have to be in place and it is always safety first from the abuser. If in case one calls the police on the abuser then one has to be ready to get the abused person to safety because going to the police does not necessarily mean safety for the person abused. There will be court proceedings to prove abuse and if the abuser can hire a lawyer who can put doubt on the abuse, the abuser will then get bail. If the abuser is out on bail and the abused is still in his home or where he can reach the abused, there will be dire consequences. So, just like @millicomsaid, there has to be commitment for the helper to go the end Kdrama expression to help. 

 

As for the abusive person. like in any situation where change is needed the person first has to have the desire to change and commit to the work needed inorder for change to take place, but first he/she has to admit that wrong or that he needs to change a bad behavior, but  Chang Ki's ego will never admit that he did wrong because he thinks he is perfect. Just like in any other behavioral disorder as in addictions to drugs/alcohol/gambling the person has to be committed to do the work with professionals who are experts in their field of work. That is the hardest part. The cause of abusive behavior are complicated but I think mostly are the learned feelings and attitudes of privelege and entitlement, control through a history of being abused themselves which are very hard to change when one grew up with those attitudes as in the case of this drama. Chang Ki grew up as a prince and he has said to his mother that mom trained him to achieve for the best to be number one in everthing, to earn  best awards by competitively winning. He was trained from childhood, to be super achiever and have the best of everything because he was the prince and entitled to whatever it was he wanted and is also publicly adored for those achievements. When he met EH she was reputed to be a beauty, intelligent, with an aura of purity and innocence but playful like a budding flower, untouched which probably fulfills his fantasy that he is the first and only one to have loved her because she belongs to him.(notice the white-symbolizing innocence nightgown) that he wants his bride to wear. He probably was her first lover. Qualities that attracted Chang Ki. Ms Lee the reporter said that EH was a legend in the broadcast station because she attracted and married the handsome, dynamic, rich, but aloof chaebol heir. His display of attention and passion towards EH at work was already territorial, he was priveleged/entitled to have her. So for Chang Ki to change, he has to want to change first and maybe removal of the object of his obsession can help or can worsen his behavior. Chang Ki will not admit he is wrong, he even competes with his mother to control his mother then blames his mother "you made me this way"

 

I think President Min was right when her first action was to try and get EH away from her son but the way she did it was wrong because she perpetuated the abuse. Chang Ki wanted his mother to approve of his choice for a wife but mom clearly disapproved by being mean. Chang Ki then blamed his wife and punished her for not being who his mother expected her to be. When she returned as the amnesiac daughter in law and behaved differently, Min showed her approval and Chang Ki started treating his wife better. He even promised to be a better husband to his mother but shortlived. This time Min did it the right way by getting help from the doctors and the doctors consulting with EH and family. There was coordination amongst the "Save EH" players. I like the fact that President Min is giving EH the chance to learn a profession so she can support herself and Dara. It seems that this fight will be involve mother against son  or son against mother. I hope that EH will also get custody of Dara. 

 

So what to do with an abusive family member? Safety of the one being abused and the one wanting for the family member to change is very important consideration. And the abuser has to want to change. 

  • Like 5
  • Thanks 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

wow @zenya22; such a well thought out answer from so many angles. :star:

 

5 hours ago, zenya22 said:

As for the abusive person. like in any situation where change is needed the person first has to have the desire to change and commit to the work needed inorder for change to take place. Just like in any other behavioral disorder as in addictions to drugs/alcohol/gambling the person has to be committed to do the work with professionals who are experts in their field of work. That is the hardest part.

was actually startled by min's idea that chang ki could get some help because in movies and dramas, they always show the abuser as beyond help. so to have this idea of reforming the abuser or at least trying was really surprising given min did not come across as deluded... 

 

5 hours ago, zenya22 said:

This time Min did it the right way by getting help from the doctors and the doctors consulting with EH and family. There was coordination amongst the "Save EH" players. I like the fact that President Min is giving EH the chance to learn a profession so she can support herself and Dara. It seems that this fight will be involve mother against son  or son against mother. I hope that EH will also get custody of Dara. 

 

So what to do with an abusive family member? Safety of the one being abused and the one wanting for the family member to change is very important consideration. And the abuser has to want to change.

min actually came across as quite vulnerable because she seemed to be in a tough situation and a lot of that has to do with the fine acting by the actress. what it does highlight is for difficult it is for onlookers because we are not sure what exactly should be done in such situations and we don't know what actions will help and what actions won't.

 

also spousal abuse is highlighted in movies and dramas, elderly abuse is mostly hidden but it does happen. in my place, there were several criminal cases (often over property or some other pent up feelings/conflicts) where the adult child was physically abusing the parent and they stayed quiet because they had nowhere to go, felt very embarrassed and wanting to save face...

 

while watching chang ki, it felt like min may have felt intimidated because she too could have been in danger if she did try to help eun han. now the fight will definitely involve her because she is trying to ensure eun han gets custody by preparing her image as a responsible adult who is capable of looking after a child. chang ki is not going to be pleased. we shouldn't be surprised if jung and chang ki go after min at some point.

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
23 hours ago, bebebisous33 said:

Then I would like to outline the contrast between the beginning of the episode 17 and the ending of the episode 18. We see how different KCK and HKW are.

Thank you. I love the symbolic analysis. You are always good at doing like you did in LL. The contrast between light and dark, constricted vs open space. The attitudes and body language of EH happy, laughing and relaxed when with Dr Han and tense, fearful and frowning when with CK. Love the contrast in images. 

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
34 minutes ago, zenya22 said:

Thank you. I love the symbolic analysis. You are always good at doing like you did in LL. The contrast between light and dark, constricted vs open space. The attitudes and body language of EH happy, laughing and relaxed when with Dr Han and tense, fearful and frowning when with CK. Love the contrast in images. 

Thanks a lot for the compliment! crazy monkeyI really appreciate it coming from you because your analysis are so good too. raccoon

Let me add another aspect by comparing both scenes...

The ending of both scenes offers another contrast: We see KCK closing the door so that no one will witness the spousal abuse. No one is invited to enter that room, whereas in the scene with HKW and JEH, both didn't pay attention to their surroundings hence they didn't notice KCK's arrival. They weren't just focused on the scenery and on the partner, they actually allowed people to see how happy and comfortable they are. They weren't trying to keep their happy moment a secret... anyone who witnesses this would not have been excluded. People are "welcome" to share their happiness, they are not hiding anything.

Striking is that their happiness is the reason why KCK left the rooftop. They didn't have to close the door, however the witness felt that he needed to leave the place as he was an intruder. So the "viewers" in the scene with KCK were intruders because they would have stopped him from beating up his wife, while in the scene with HKW and JEH, the viewer/KCK is an intruder and leaves the place as he doesn't want to interrupt  their moment. I guess, KCK must have felt burdened and bothered. However, he made a mistake because he made some noise so that HKW went downstairs to him. KCK didn't want them to notice him as it would have meant that KCK would have to admit that JEH is happier with HKW than with him. 

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 9/16/2018 at 3:45 PM, celebrianna said:

Edit: Apparently the last episodes air on Saturday, September 29th because next Saturday a movie special will be airing instead. Anybody heard this too?

not sure about the movie... but instead of the preview for next week, there was a note (which was part of the subs translation) that "last episode will air 29th".

 

 

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 9/16/2018 at 8:19 AM, millicom said:

I just think that of all of the people, she has the capability to help JEH out of the situation.  The helpers can't do anything because they might lose their jobs.  JEH's mom couldn't help her at the time because I think after the operation, she was afraid that her son will still die, her brother was sick, the doctor because there was no evidence.  I acknowledge that she tried to help in a way but she was basically relying on an abused person to save herself.  The most drastic way that she could have helped was to report the abuse to the police, or since she had money, made arrangements to take JEH and DaRa safely and hide them somewhere, have her son committed...etc but of course she wouldn't do that, because she refused to believe that her son could be so evil or she's concerned about their reputation. 

Her way of helping was to basically make JEH's life miserable as well so she will run away which she finally did.

Also, even when JEH tried to commit suicide and they labelled her as suffering from depression, she didn't think the reason was because her son was beating her? 

As for who is more evil between Jung and CK? Both of them are equally evil, they deserve each other.

 

I understand your point, but we, the audience, are privy to information that President Min is not.  I am not defending her actions. I am just trying to understand them.

She overheard a conversation between JEH and her mom about her son’s abuse (this might have been the first inclination that something might be wrong). JEH’s mother said to the latter to stick it out because all relationships are the same; all husbands hit their wives. And JEH “seemed” to have stayed in that unhealthy relationship. To Min, this is pure speculation, JEH might have been an opportunist who would go to any length to get to her objective (rich husband, prestige, luxurious lifestyle). She has been prejudiced against JH since the beginning due to how the marriage came about, and how it appeared that JH’s family benefited from the union. 

 

I don’t think, based on what I have watched so far, that Min knew the extent of JEH’s misery. She might have sensed it, might have imagined it (based on conversations with the psychiatrist) but I don’t think she understood the gravity of the situation. Also, as a mother, she is torn. Regardless of how terrible KCK is, he is her son. Her first instinct would be to protect her son. Is she right? That’s a topic for another discussion. Even her helping JEH through the psychiatrist was her way of protecting her son. I also think that the reason she despised JEH’s mom is that she would have wanted the latter to protect JEH as she is protecting KCK.

 

We have also noticed Jung’s manipulative nature. She has spent five years painting JEH in a bad light. She covered KCK’s bad acts. She provided painkillers, ointment, and new clothes to JEH after the violent episode with KCK, which also made me think that this has been her usual routine. Min’s prejudice against JEH played very well into Jung’s hand. Min refused to eat with JEH and made her life miserable which would have made it difficult for her to notice changes in JEH. Also, as it was “shown”, KCK seemed to only hit JEH in places that can be covered. The “dungeon” is soundproof, and everyone knows that it is off limits. 

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 9/17/2018 at 6:16 AM, Lmangla said:

was actually startled by min's idea that chang ki could get some help because in movies and dramas, they always show the abuser as beyond help. so to have this idea of reforming the abuser or at least trying was really surprising given min did not come across as deluded... 

 

 

On 9/17/2018 at 6:16 AM, Lmangla said:

min actually came across as quite vulnerable because she seemed to be in a tough situation and a lot of that has to do with the fine acting by the actress. what it does highlight is for difficult it is for onlookers because we are not sure what exactly should be done in such situations and we don't know what actions will help and what actions won't.

 

also spousal abuse is highlighted in movies and dramas, elderly abuse is mostly hidden but it does happen. in my place, there were several criminal cases (often over property or some other pent up feelings/conflicts) where the adult child was physically abusing the parent and they stayed quiet because they had nowhere to go, felt very embarrassed and wanting to save face...

 

while watching chang ki, it felt like min may have felt intimidated because she too could have been in danger if she did try to help eun han. now the fight will definitely involve her because she is trying to ensure eun han gets custody by preparing her image as a responsible adult who is capable of looking after a child. chang ki is not going to be pleased. we shouldn't be surprised if jung and chang ki go after min at some point.

Chang Ki is the one and only child she has and Min even knowing her son's inequities loves him and will try to protect him and still hopes that he can be saved/treated and will agree to it which is like trying to move a mountain but Min still tries, because CK is her son. Yes, in real life abuse does not discriminate, there is abuse of children and the elderly who are very vulnerable. In the case of Min, she is afraid of what her son will do in desperation when he loses the object of his obsession, his wife, his job and his social standing. She is more afraid of him "dying". In her case, she is not being abused as of yet, she has power, money, people, lawyers and she is in charge of the household. She also holds the strongest weapon against her son, her daughter in law and what daughter in law holds in her hands. She made a deal with EH, not to publish the videos because she is afraid her son would "die". She is desperately trying to save her son. Imagine Chang Ki losing face, instead of admiration and veneration he faces derision, gossip and scorn. Min is afraid of his reaction, not of what he might do to her but what he might do to himself and the person he is obsessed with as in "Sleeping With the Enemy".... (true to life scenario more often than we are aware of). In return for EH promise not to publish the video, EH asked that Min help her get a divorce, custody of Dara and fire Jung from the household and the company which Min agreed to. Min also gave her a job in her company. But Chang Ki is not listening to her and yes there is a chance that he might turn on his mother. Despite Min holding all the cards, she is vulnerable to the rage of her son also but it is a chance she is willing to take if it helps to save her son.

 

But we have to wait 2 weekends from now? 

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@auroredawn I agree with you to a certain point. Min was not aware of the whole situation. However, Min's prejudice had an impact on her son's relationship with his wife. In my opinion, first she disliked JEH and saw her as an opportunist and greedy person. The conversation she caught between JEH and her mother put her in that light, especially since JEH remained by his side. I have the impression that due to Jung's words Min showed her desdain to JEH so that KCK pressured JEH even more. From my point of view, she got beaten up because of that. KCK wanted her to be perfect, to be accepted by his mother. I also believe that Min thought that at some point JEH would leave KCK... She just waited, she never thought that her son was so obsessed with her.

We shouldn't forget that the doctor didn't help JEH first. He even drugged her and in my opinion Min knew all along about that. She also thought that JEH was depressed. Yet the moment the doctor realized what was really happening, he must have talked Min about it. That's the reason why she decided to become active and help her to disappear from KCK's life. To conclude, Min had two reasons to show desdain towards JEH: first, she perceived her as a leech, then she thought that this would be the best way to help her to leave KCK and this happened when she returned to the mansion. The slapping JEH experienced when she was still suffering from amnesia occured because she wanted her to leave the place. 

@millicom   @USAFarmgirl

  • Like 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh man! I really missed out following this drama here. I've absolutely enjoyed this one immensely! My daughter caught me watching it from ep 2 and is still watching it at ep 36! Her second drama! As I've read through some of the posts, all I can do is smdh in agreement. The cast was great and perfect! I've never hated 2 people more and found myself liking 2 people that I hated by the end of the drama! The writer has really surprised us week after week with reveals we never expected. This last 2 reveals about the mothers (KCK and JEH) were WOAH moments! Had I been following the forum, maybe I would have been prepared for KCK's mom helping JEH! That was a surprise! Though it makes sense that this was a mother who tried so hard to gain love from her son. I really wish they dove more into background as to why KCK was such an abuser? I have a feeling so was his father which might explain his animosity towards the mother. Well, I wasn't with everyone at the beginning; however, I'm looking forward to the last 4 episodes and everyone's comments. 

  • Like 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

I don't know why I feel the way I do it's not as if I didn't know this drama was going to be dark I guess I just didn't realize how dark...  The close up look it gives us about not only physical abuse but also even more the mental abuse.  Not to mention the one that hurts me the most child abuse in having to live in fear and in seeing and knowing what was going on around you but in being able to do nothing because you're just a child.   When she should feel safe and protected  within her home by her parents she walks on egg shells in trying to protect her Mother... 

 

Maybe this one time it's a little too real for me and seeing JEH being beaten once again that was just simply heart breaking.  I think as bad as Jung & KCK are no doubt in my mind at all.  Still I can't say I am not upset at those whom knew and felt something was off even JEH's own family I have to be honest how sad it is that her own Mother never saw her daughter's real pain nor did she take the time to listen or ask or try to understand.  When I think of all those around  her it makes me think of reality and how this very situation happens all around us and all to often no one knows what goes on behind closed doors or if they do they aren't willing to get involved...

 

Even that's a little too real...

:bawling:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, USAFarmgirl said:

Not to mention the one that hurts me the most child abuse in having to live in fear and in seeing and knowing what was going on around you but in being able to do nothing because you're just a child.   When she should feel safe and protected  within her home by her parents she walks on egg shells in trying to protect her Mother... 

 

Thank you, thank you, thank you @USAFarmgirl. Child abuse, is also what hurt and gave me angst the most in the last 4 episodes. Dara being so vulnerable and helpless yet trying to be brave for her mother's sake,  wishing that her parents would be good to each other, not complaining against Jung but living in fear of her, and like you said walking on eggs to protect her mother. My heart breaks for her. I hope that this time the grandmother got a mega dose of reality how extremely dangerous Jung is to her grandaughter and to herself, protects the little girl by removing Jung from the mansion ASAP. Dara's safety is of utmost priority.

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 9/18/2018 at 2:59 PM, NewKDramaAddict said:

I really wish they dove more into background as to why KCK was such an abuser? I have a feeling so was his father which might explain his animosity towards the mother.

Welcome to the thread @NewKDramaAddict and yes I also wish they had thrown into the story the background of how KCK became an abuser because abusive behaviors are learned behaviors through a history of abuse. There were suggestions and suppositions here about KCK being abused but no history from the drama.

 

In any case it seems that the mother of JEH from her answer to President Min about her husband hitting her "once in awhile" and that it was allright with her, makes me think that she was also a victim of abuse by her husband and  why/how she got that mindset. I disliked her from the beginning just like Min had this bias against her but now I understand her perspective, the victim mentality of blaming themselves, "it is my fault for getting hit, I will behave and do better" even her being docile to her son in law. I do not condone her thinking or her behavior and  now that we have more information, I do not judge it either but I understand where it is coming from. If there is a history of abuse in JEH family, it also explains JEH attraction to KCK and how she did not have the capacity to see into the controlling ways of KCK early on during their courtship. His possesiveness at work, his "generosity" paying for the hospital bills, buying the house for her family and setting up the business for them, the hurried marriage without meeting his family and the isolation, so he only can have access to her by bringing her to the States. JEH also blamed herself when she said "I should not have been so greedy" and also explains why she could not use her martial arts skills on KCK because even though her body was well trained, her psyche/mind was not changed from self blame mindset. Together with martial arts training, she needed psychological counseling but she was too busy trying to stay alive running from her hired assasins. 

 

It is interesting how both husbands of President Min and EH mom are not in the story but only mentioned. 

  • Like 5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.




×
×
  • Create New...