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Go Seung Ji

[Drama 2018] Familiar Wife, 아는 와이프

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6 hours ago, celebrianna said:

@bluesoul7, I certainly didn’t agree with Woo-jin throwing her husband’s game console into the bath tub. I however see this as a consequence of her resentment towards her husband for many things including perhaps wasting his precious time and money on games when she herself is tired, overworked and worrying about the cost of taking care of her mom. In other words, those are important life matters compared to gaming. In her place and situation, I can understand why she went berserk and did that although it was unkind. 

 

Regarding the historical or cultural view of women taking care of the kids, house, etc., a lot of the times that’s when women used to stay at home full time. I think it’s unfair that working moms are expected to continue to do all this while the husband doesn’t help as much. Thankfully a lot of men, even the professional ones, are doing a lot more to take care of their kids now.

 

In this drama, except for two scenes, I hardly saw JH taking care of his kids whereas his friend kept talking about his twins and we see in the new timeline his other friend was taking care of his baby without any complaints. I’m not saying that JH doesn’t love his kids or baby-sat now and again, it just seems like he didn’t think much about them particularly when he forgot to pick them up from the day care and when he only remembered them a good while into the new timeline.

 

She didnt even tell him about her mum which is her fault she cant be this mad when shes keeping stuff to her self.

 

The Husband does not help much because hes working more..  

 

2 hours ago, chickfactor said:

First timeline:

 

Husband needs to do more. Come on.

 

  • He could bring home food and make sure she eats.
  • He could help give one kid a bath while she gives the other one a bath, instead of tip-toeing past the bathroom as she struggles with both of them.
  • He could maybe not screw up at work so he gets his promotion and maybe she can quit her job as a masseuse where she is treated like crap by a-hole customers.
  • He could sincerely ask about her mother instead of whining about how she doesn't make them food anymore. Or go see her.
  • He can pick up some toys instead of leaving her to do it after a long, exhausting day.

 

Small gestures count. In the second timeline, his sister tells him how much she appreciates that her husband gets up at night to soothe the baby, 7 times out of 10. He doesn't have to do exactly 1/2 the work, but he should help in every way he can.

 

It's hard taking care of one baby, let alone two. Husbands need to help. Hobbies and relaxation time is important, but if you have little babies at home, you really need to give it a break until the kids are older, especially when the burden falls on one person to do the heavy-lifting.

 

I'm on the women's side all the way on this issue. It doesn't matter if the women had to do everything in the past. That is wrong and needs to change.

 

Everything you said he needs to do is done before he even gets home.. when he gets home shes normally sleeping.

 

He only tip toed that one time due to having the console, he does not know whats wrong with her mother is he a mind reader?

 

Yeah because i doubt hes exhausted either he must have it nice and easy working all day.

 

Im on the mans side because he works way more from whats shown. 

 

There was a flashback scene where woo jin is drinking and asking joo hyuk did she marry alone? Why is she the only one taking care of the kids. That is their biggest issue, woo jin while also working a physically demanding job is responsible for everything. If only she is not working, she should not complain but she is a working mother too. While i also do not like the way woo jin handles the game console issue, sometimes when you are already fed up, reasoning is already out of the window. Their kids are too young, needs all the assistance. And woo jin needs all the help she can get. Joo hyuk needs to realize what went wrong and why the two of them who loved each other to death and definitely are good people ended up in that state. Woo jin has her anger issues definitely but as we can see in the new timeline, she has grown and matured well. That shows that most of her anger issues resulted from their marital problems. The story is shown on joo hyuk's POV because he has a lot more things to correct and improve on his end. It is basically a reflection of all the things that he should have done and he will realize it from the changes that have happened from the people around him.

 

Recap for episode 3 is out on dramabeans and very nicely written:wub:

 

Shes the only one taking care of the kids because in the morning he has to leave early and when he comes home its normally all done?

 

What do you want him to do? She wanted him to get that promotion which you get by working hard.

 

Does he cut down his hours to help at home so they get less money? 

 

I think both of them have big issues she has anger issues and keep's stuff hidden and is dramatic. 

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@Wotad, i totally undestand Korean culture but does not mean i agree to it. :D

 

Which i strongly believed what the show is trying to protray.

 

From the original timeline of his friend whom has a twin describing his wife has changed when they have children to the new timeline that his best friend carrying the baby around and taking care the child most of the time in wee hours.  It is heartwarming to see more man are understanding and put their pride aside.

 

That is why Ji Sung is the best actor for this role.  He is not only good in acting, he is a model husband and father! :wub:

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23 minutes ago, stuartjmz said:

As for what SHE did wrong, for me, the alternate tmieline shows the biggest mistake she made in the original timeline: She got married too soon, with unrealistic expectations and no real clue. She wanted a big family, but hadn't thought through what that would involve. She was  crushing on her tutor and decided marrying him was the dream answer to all her issues, NOPE! 

 

I'm hoping that in "take 3", she grows up a bit first, becomes a fully mature adult who knows herself properly and understands the commitments involved in a long term relationship (including the reality that a mother will almost certainly carry more than half the workload of chldren),  and has some way of preserving her own identity, either through a career of her choice or some other expression of self. This might mean going to college first, or learning a skill, starting her own small business, etc. If she did any/all of those things BEFORE they married, then she woold be making sure she was always Woo Seo Jin first, not "his wife" or "the kids' Mum" 

I agree with this so much. Her dream was to get married and have lots of kids. That's all well and good if you are a fully mature adult and can afford it, but I'm not sure she even finished college in the original timeline, and she certainly didn't have time to establish a career. JH was just starting at the bank when they got married so he wasn't established either. I definitely think it would have been better for both iif they waited to get married or at least waited to have kids. 

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10 minutes ago, stuartjmz said:

 

As @chickfactor said in the list you quoted, he could ASK. That's not hard, and doesn't require telepathy, just empathy. Alzheimer's doesn't come on overnight, it's obviously been a LONG time since he has seen her, or even worse, bothered to ask about her. 

 

As for him "working more", he is in  paid employment for longer hours, he definitely doesn't work more.  She too is in paid employment , and does a much better job of focusing on her job while there than he does, AND she still does all the other stuff, while he stashes away  money secretly ,to spend only on himself., because in his mind he deserves it. Imagine how she would have reacted if he had used even half that PS4 money to buy a gift for her Mum  and said one Sunday, "let's go visit your Mum, I haven't seen her in a while". 

 

She could update him also, she could say hey lets go see my mother?

 

She does a much better job by being on the phone all the time. He stashes away money he saved over years to treat him self..

 

How dare he spend money he saved over a long time on him self.. Yeah he does deserve it.

 

He works all day then comes home and his wife is snappy and mad and does not communicate well the Playstation is probs his only happiness in that sad life. 

 

Why should he say lets go visit your mum? Does she ever ask about his parents or did i miss that. 

 

Should we also ignore that girls normally spend more on accessories,makeup,clothes etc.. so yeah he does deserve to treat him self. 

 

He should do this and this and this but lets ignore every fault of the girl? 

 

 

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4 minutes ago, stuartjmz said:

 

We already know she doesn't do this - EVERYTHING she earns goes to the family, she's been shown to be almost excessive in her fixation on not wasting money. 

No one has said anything about ignoring her faults, but I've lived long enough as a married man, and seen how hard it is for a working Mum to bring up kids, I know that they carry an unfair share of the burden. It's one reason I'm glad my stepdaughter and her husband waited until they had been married ten years before they started having kids. 

Im not saying Women do not work hard but if she actually spoke to him more she would not feel so victimized. I think we all agree that they had two children way to quick. 

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We all agree that they both have faults and they stopped communicating with each other and that is their main problem. I think we will see more of what really happened and why they arrived at that state. Even joo hyuk said that woo jin smiles a lot before and since we do not see that many scenes in their 5 year marriage which i think will be shown little by little per episode, we really do not know what makes woo jin act like that. They got married early and that is a problem since they have 2 kids in 5 years and they are not financially stable yet. And i am not justifying woo jin's anger outburst, whatever is the reason it is not correct. What i am just saying is she has arrived in that state maybe because of their so many marital issues which in my POV, joo hyuk has contributed a lot. We will have to wait and see:D

 

@Wotadi don't think joo hyuk leaves earlier than woo jin and the kids. There are scenes shown when he is still in bed and woo jin even asked him if he will be going to work. So meaning, having those 2 little kids, it will not hurt if he can help a little. He will only tend to the kids if woo jin will kick him in bed lol. He will have a harsh realization for sure:)

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Wife 3

I like everything in this alternate life so far because it’s a perfect avenue for Joo-hyuk to at least experience everything he longed for in life. His wife takes care of him really well. He can do everything he wants to do. Nobody nags or yells at him. I know it’s a bit off but all his “what ifs” were solved in this universe, which makes it conducive for personal reflections later on in the story – that everything he wanted came true, but is he really happy? Is this what he really wanted in life?

 

 

GRUMPY ALLEY

Ji Sung has that power to make you laugh then cry in an instant!

Wife 3 (12)

 

 

https://ahjummamshies.com/2018/08/11/k-drama-reaction-familiar-wife-episode-3/

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@kmsl, thanks for sharing.  I love this part from ahjummamshies:

 

I wonder how would Joo Hyuk control his own emotions now that his “real” wife works with him all day? At least in his “original” timeline, he spent the entire day away from her, but now, he had no choice but to see her every time.

 

:D bwahaha

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Yay! Familiar Wife has moved up to No. 3 most buzzworthy drama on gooddata. 

https://m.entertain.naver.com/now/read?oid=112&aid=0003060901

 

For individual actors/actresses, Han Ji Min is at No.8 and Ji Sung has dropped out of the list :bawling:

 

I have been following all the discussion here as to the faults of both the husband and Wife. Let me weigh in to say a few things about Joo Hyeok. I accept that Joo Hyeok has many failings and he has not been lending his helping hand to his wife with regard to the children in a sufficient manner. But he may be typical of Korean men with a chauvinistic mindset whose focus is on putting dough on the table. That may be the whole point that the Writer is trying to convey - that men need to see that they need to contribute in other ways for a marriage to work out, especially in today’s setting when many couples are both working people. Writer has already juxtaposed the two different perspectives in the two timelines. In the new timeline, his BIL is hands-on and in the process, he has gained the love and attention of his wife. So, Joo Hyeok has to learn as he transitions from the old mindset to the new. 


As for him being mainly at fault for his wife’s unhappiness, I agree that the wife too plays a big part as well, as we all have noted. For example, her putting all her focus on the children and neglecting to communicate with him or to care about him (she didn’t care that he had not eaten or that he met with an accident and had been to the hospital etc) - all of these contribute to the marriage coming to this state. It might perhaps be too simplistic to lay a big part of the blame on Joo Hyeok alone. (Haha.. I have been secretly wondering about the impact of this drama thus far on young unmarried men and women. I hope unmarried  people will not be put off marriage after watching this drama. :rolleyes:



To be honest, Joo Hyeok has his plus points which may not be that easy to find in a lot of men. He is a mild-mannered man who doesn’t retaliate when at the receiving end of his wife’s out of proportion outbursts. I dare say that in reality, not many men would be as tolerant as him. Though he may be a lil immature (in reality, this level of immaturity isn’t that uncommon. Many men start off in a marriage being immature like this; it is through experience and communication between husband and wife that both men and women mature and grow together in a marriage), he is definitely also a kind hearted person- this can be seen from how he stood up to testify about Woo Jin being molested in the bus. Also, from what we have seen, he’s not the type that has a tendency to stray. He still only thinks about and is emotionally and mentally preoccupied with only Woo Jin. So fundamentally, his tendency is towards loyalty and faithfulness.

 


Maintaining a fulfilling and happy marriage is not easy at all. It requires both parties to work on it. It requires open communication and mutual trust between husband and wife for it to be sustained in a healthy manner. I am sure we will get to learn these life lessons as we witness the growth of the couple, and especially Joo Hyeok (since the drama is so far from his perspective of things).

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@randomlee, I love your post. One thing I find curious is that there is so much knowledge in our modern world that it’s weird to think that some men still live behind the times. When one of my best friend was getting married, she and her fiancé attended counseling in preparation for marriage and some of the questions that they were challenged with were truly not easy to answer without some soul searching. Of course this does not make them experienced since they actually have to live out their marriage but it made them aware of issues they might face and how to deal with them as a couple. However, I suppose not everyone go through premarital counseling.

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Doing my math.  When Joo Hyuk and Woo Jin met, one is in Uni while the other in high school i presume.  How long do people in korea need to study.  The timeline is they know each other for 12 years and marry for 5 years.  What happens in 7 years?  

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Woah, it's hot in here :sweatingbullets:

 

20180813_222222.gif

 

Well, I don't know what to say. So I will quote my favorite line from the movie "Before Sunset":  "We all see the world from our own tiny keyhole". And you know, we may be live in very different "W-O-R-L-D" although we live in same planet or even same country. Therefore, sometimes it doesn't matter whoever is right, your personal experiments just take over. 

 

 

P/S: Don't take my words seriously. I just want to have good reason to post cute gifs  :lol:

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One of the children's actors who are their children are both innocent. If I were him, I would never leave him. If it was my life, but for Joo Hyuk, I'm not sure he would go back in the past? If he returns, he will meet his baby. But if he can not return, he may be saddened throughout his life.:( It is only because of his insecure emotions. Hope he can meet his children again.:D

 

 

Cr. to IG dramaticamenteperse

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@nidcha202, I noticed that adorable cutie in the early episodes. Heh. I’m hoping that JH will be able to return to the original timeline and he’ll meet his kids again. When WJ regain her memories, it will probably hurt a lot because I’m sure she’ll miss her kids terribly whom she carried for at least nine months. :bawling:

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47 minutes ago, celebrianna said:

@nidcha202, I noticed that adorable cutie in the early episodes. Heh. I’m hoping that JH will be able to return to the original timeline and he’ll meet his kids again. When WJ regain her memories, it will probably hurt a lot because I’m sure she’ll miss her kids terribly whom she carried for at least nine months. :bawling:

 

Oh!! I do not want them to get to that point. Actually, if Woo jin gets to know the truth, he forsook her and his children for his selfishness. If they both fall in love in the present age. I think she will never forgive him. But I think it is likely that she will know the truth. They will hate each other in the past.:angry: To date, Joo Hyuk will have to revise his past. Before he lost his wife and children, it was not too late for him. If he wants to keep his family.:wub: 
 

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14 minutes ago, nidcha202 said:

 

Oh!! I do not want them to get to that point. Actually, if Woo jin gets to know the truth, he forsook her and his children for his selfishness. If they both fall in love in the present age. I think she will never forgive him. But I think it is likely that she will know the truth. They will hate each other in the past.:angry: To date, Joo Hyuk will have to revise his past. Before he lost his wife and children, it was not too late for him. If he wants to keep his family.:wub: 
 

:sweatingbullets: I want her to regain her memories in the new timeline because she has to also know where and why their marriage went wrong. He can’t fix their marriage on his own. Suppose for instance he was to go back to the original timeline a changed man, it doesn’t change the fact that WJ seem to resent him and may have diminished feelings for him. I am aware that part of love in a relationship is not just about “feelings” because feelings can become hot and cold. WJ and JH have to want to make the marriage work for themselves first and then the kids. They probably need to remember what they loved about each other and work on repairing their relationship.

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I want WJ to regain her memories in the new timeline too. It would be heartbreaking, and it would be hard to come back from that, but I need her to know the truth in order to ever root for them to repair their marriage. Plus, I also want her to reflect on where and why their marriage went wrong. 

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Same here, i want woo jin to regain her memories in the new timeline too. And those dreams are a good start. Their relationship failure is a product of both faults not joo hyuk alone. They both have impulsive behaviors, only much worse with joo hyuk. If woo jin submerged his playstation due to her anger, joo hyuk made a more disappointing decision by changing his future and not considering his kids. I'm sure it was not deliberate but it only shows that he had very limited interactions with his children to not remember them. I want joo hyuk to realize this in the new timeline. What he has missed big time by exchanging woo jin to hye won. If ever woo jin will know what he has changed, that would be so heart breaking:tears: I am sure she loved her kids so much and thinking that joo hyuk have exchanged them to hye won, joo hyuk needs a lot to win her familiar wife back and kids. I am sure the writer will show how he will change as he realized what he has missed bigtime. And that is how much he was loved by his familiar wife and losing their precious children. woo jin will love only him and that is the major difference with hye won. Woo jin is very much like her mom. can't wait for tomorrow:wub:

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1 hour ago, stuartjmz said:

One direction the story could take, and one I wish it  would take, is one it almost certainly won't take: They both remember the original timeline, , but don't return to it exactly. There's a famous saying along the lines of "the past is a foreign country, they do things differently there'. The original timeline could be considered "the past", and they could start afresh in a third timeline if we're going to get one) with an awareness of what went wrong in the previous two, and the opportunity to write a new history together from scratch, only older and wiser. That timeline could include their having the same two children, of course. 

This option is not bad either. Strangely it kind of follows the concept of three lifetimes in Chinese shows. In any case, I assume their children will be the same in any timeline they’re together.

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I love the way the show is going.  

My thoughts on their marriage (before the whole change in timeline):

 

Both of them had their mistakes in their marriage. The key to any marriage is frank communication. Always taking time to talk to each other about whatever they feel, not matter how bitter it might be. Another thing is looking out for each other: making sure that we listen to all the stress in their work life, know each other in and out. 

 

 People come from different backgrounds and are exposed to different lifestyles. Usually when we grow in an environment, we assume that all families would be the same. These presumptions affect a marriage greatly. Dating is different when compared to a marriage. 

 

Usually when a woman vents her feelings which she has controlled for a long time, it would explode like a bomb. Previously, She would be mentally giving chances for the husband to redeem himself and the husband will remain oblivious to what is going on. 

 

Though he might have been more irresponsible, selfish and immature in the relationship,  the ideology that "he should have known what the wife is going through" doesn't often happen. Some people are just dense, you need to tell them what you want.  It is important to make sure that the channels of communications are open since day 1. That's my motto for my marriage. It is one thing I have learnt from my grandparents who were married since 14, and spent the rest of their lives together (more than 60 years).  I don't think it is even a "old generation male centric society norm." If that were the case, my grandma should have been meek and subservient to my grandpa, but I never saw that.  In every generation, the relationship is defined on communication. You cannot build a relationship by doing all the work and then pray that miraculously the husband will help you and appreciate you one day. 

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