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Go Seung Ji

[Drama 2018] Familiar Wife, 아는 와이프

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Look at his mean "mother-in-law" face :joy:

 

videotogif_2018.08.10_22.56.19.gif

 

Actually, I'm kind of like him as long as he will not become my husband :lol: Haha, I'm just kidding but not 100% :P You know, it's not like all good boyfriends will become good husbands. Some of your BF's personalities, which attract you when you're in love, could turn into annoyance in marriage ^_^

I think he is pretty cute and kind :wub: He exactly looked like my 7-year-old nephew when he found the PlayStation :lol: And he was so shy spending the first night with Hye Won :lol:  I found it cute when he tried everything (even that ridiculous complain) to make Woo Jin move to another branch instead of simply ignoring her. Or the worse thing he could do is looking down on her because now he has a dream wife and a super-duper rich father-in-law. I'm extremely thankful that the writer didn't make him become that kind of person ^_^ And he asked his father-in-law to help his friend and also his colleague although he has never met his father-in-law before. It was kind! In the original timeline, when Woo Jin got angry and even shouted at him in public, his attitude remained gently towards her (Or should I say he was afraid of her? :lol:). And he bought a bouquet for her on their anniversary :wub:

Until now, the thing I dislike the most about him is making that decision, changing his wife. I know he made it while he was angry, disappointed and hurt but it was definitely a thoughtless, selfish decision. In the good side, I believe that he thought it was the best way for both of them. He made me have the feeling that if there is something bad happens in his idealistic world, he will tend to avoid it than deal with it. Is it the reason why he couldn't see how stress, pathetic Woo Jin was? 

 

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@bluesoul7, I think in the original timeline he just thought of things from his perspective. Actually, when I watch his scenes in the original timeline, everything he thought about only seemed to be from his perspective. He never seemed to realize how difficult his wife had it or try to understand her frustration and why she acted like that. I was very upset with him when she asked him to pick up the kids and it didn’t even seem to register with him at all and he of course forgot. What I like about the new timeline is that he’s taking a look at her again and maybe he will finally begin to realize where his failure as a husband existed. Another thing I like is that he still cares about her family. When WJ said her mom was sick he seemed a bit alarmed and to me that exposed some of his heart. And looking back on his history with WJ, I can understand his care for his MIL because he was there for them ever since his would be FIL passed away.

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3 hours ago, celebrianna said:

@bluesoul7, I think in the original timeline he just thought of things from his perspective. Actually, when I watch his scenes in the original timeline, everything he thought about only seemed to be from his perspective. He never seemed to realize how difficult his wife had it or try to understand her frustration and why she acted like that. I was very upset with him when she asked him to pick up the kids and it didn’t even seem to register with him at all and he of course forgot. What I like about the new timeline is that he’s taking a look at her again and maybe he will finally begin to realize where his failure as a husband existed. Another thing I like is that he still cares about her family. When WJ said her mom was sick he seemed a bit alarmed and to me that exposed some of his heart. And looking back on his history with WJ, I can understand his care for his MIL because he was there for them ever since his would be FIL passed away.

 

Did she understand him either? i always see comments about him but never her.  He had it difficult as well and he forgot? Wasnt that when he got in the car crash. 

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34 minutes ago, Wotad said:

 

Did she understand him either? i always see comments about him but never her.  He had it difficult as well and he forgot? Wasnt that when he got in the car crash. 

Oh, I’m definitely not taking sides. However, most of the story is told from his perspective so we see more of his failings. I think when they finally begin to address her memories, we will see through her eyes her failings because for them to resolve their relationship, she will need to recognize her faults as well.

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They both have contributed to the state of marriage that they are in. But since the story is told from joo hyuk's POV, we will see more of how joo hyuk's sees woo jin before and now. There's no question that they both loved each other to death but going into marriage, that is where all their problems started. They came to a point that separation is the only option since they can't understand each other anymore and being with each other is just like waiting for an explosion to happen. Woo jin in the present time even admitted that she has a short fuse sometimes lol. So combine it with their daily problems and taking care of mostly everything, no wonder she explodes often lol. Seeing his best friend marry his sister and how he takes care of their child, will make him realize what he missed big time while he is with woo jin. Next episodes will be a journey of how he loved woo jin and how they forget those precious moments. Woo jin's memories will slowly help her see her faults too. If ever she will find out what joo hyuk has done to escape their miserable life together, it will be really heart breaking for her since just like her mom, she loved only once and that one man she loved chose a different future without her and their kids:tears:

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I agree with some of you mentioned, the story now will be husband point of view.  So of cos we will discuss more from his view and his overseeing of wife's struggle.  He did notice her lost of smile when he sees her before the bus ride.

 

I believe if there will be memory of the original timeline of wife seeing her shortcoming in alternative timeline, it does help her to reflect too. 

 

But if we expect them to reflect in their original timeline... it will be impossible. Haha! Cos they are just too busy with daily life.  Playing games or frustration are their mechanism to deal with the struggles.

 

Why husband need more reflection for now:

Husband work  Wife work

Husband housework little

Wife housework most of the time

Husband cook none

Wife cook

Husband with children little

Wife with children most of the time

Income bearly enough to sustain

 

With the above, husband mainly need to concentrate with work.  Wife got to juggle so many things and together with short fuse, how is she going to have time to look at husband point of view in original timeline.  I strongly believe she has not eat well either cos she does not even have time to wash hair.

 

To add, it does not matter whether husband earn more than wife cos the essence here is husband income not enough so wife has to work to sustain.  Both work environment has their own working difficulties and difficult bosses.  So in terms of what they encounter at work, i see it level.  But what i see at home is more shoulder by wife and a drunk husband returned from home (no busy wife will understand how hard husband work when he comes home many nights drunk). :D

 

My long thoughts

 

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20180812_105247.gif

 

I'm not sure if I should say this. But in my country, a wife often does all housework, take care of children, vvv by herself whether she has a job or not. And it is normal. Actually, my mom and my sister-in-law lived like that. But in my country, a mother and father-in-laws could live with their son and help to take care of their grandchildren. However, it't not like all married couples have their in-laws supports or they just have it in short period time. So, the story in this drama is quite real ....and normal ^_^ I know it sounds unfair if the wife also has to work but we lived like that for many many years. Of course, I'm very glad if a husband helps his wife at home. But changing the whole customs and habits is really challenging. I have watched a American movie recently. And in this movie, the wife also complained to her husband about not helping her with the housework and take care of children. So I guess, it doesn't only depend on culture but also depend on his personality. 

 

12 hours ago, stuartjmz said:

he was in a desperate rush to fix yet another stupid mistake he had made at work

 

Well, he is wrong to allow that newbie leave work early. What's wrong is wrong, no argue. But if that newbie had done his work properly, there would have been nothing happens. Therefore, I considered his wrong as an unlucky case, not stupid mistake.

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@bluesoul7, that is the charm of the drama.  Giving you real issues that many can relate to.  Due to culture norm, many mummy becomes less "attractive" than before.  If the mummy can still remain yummy, either she has super good planning skills even without any husband support or they have extra hands... be it grandparents or maids.  

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15 hours ago, stuartjmz said:

Of course, the car crash only happened because he was in a desperate rush to fix yet another stupid mistake he had made at work.  Had he done his job properly, he would never have been in the mad dash to the airport, trying to clean up his own mess. 

 

Im not defending his mistake but he was a bit unlucky that those inspectors came on a random day ;p

 

15 hours ago, celebrianna said:

Oh, I’m definitely not taking sides. However, most of the story is told from his perspective so we see more of his failings. I think when they finally begin to address her memories, we will see through her eyes her failings because for them to resolve their relationship, she will need to recognize her faults as well.

 

I see i hope so because it takes two people to fix a broken relationship and two people to cause the break down.

 

12 hours ago, richelle said:

They both have contributed to the state of marriage that they are in. But since the story is told from joo hyuk's POV, we will see more of how joo hyuk's sees woo jin before and now. There's no question that they both loved each other to death but going into marriage, that is where all their problems started. They came to a point that separation is the only option since they can't understand each other anymore and being with each other is just like waiting for an explosion to happen. Woo jin in the present time even admitted that she has a short fuse sometimes lol. So combine it with their daily problems and taking care of mostly everything, no wonder she explodes often lol. Seeing his best friend marry his sister and how he takes care of their child, will make him realize what he missed big time while he is with woo jin. Next episodes will be a journey of how he loved woo jin and how they forget those precious moments. Woo jin's memories will slowly help her see her faults too. If ever she will find out what joo hyuk has done to escape their miserable life together, it will be really heart breaking for her since just like her mom, she loved only once and that one man she loved chose a different future without her and their kids:tears:

I mean she takes care of everything maybe because hes working more? from what we saw he wakes up goes straight to work and then when he comes home shes already going to sleep?

 

2 hours ago, bluesoul7 said:

 

 

I'm not sure if I should say this. But in my country, a wife often does all housework, take care of children, vvv by herself whether she has a job or not. And it is normal. Actually, my mom and my sister-in-law lived like that. But in my country, a mother and father-in-laws could live with their son and help to take care of their grandchildren. However, it't not like all married couples have their in-laws supports or they just have it in short period time. So, the story in this drama is quite real ....and normal ^_^ I know it sounds unfair if the wife also has to work but we lived like that for many many years. Of course, I'm very glad if a husband helps his wife at home. But changing the whole customs and habits is really challenging. I have watched a American movie recently. And in this movie, the wife also complained to her husband about not helping her with the housework and take care of children. So I guess, it doesn't only depend on culture but also depend on his personality. 

 

 

Well, he is wrong to allow that newbie leave work early. What's wrong is wrong, no argue. But if that newbie had done his work properly, there would have been nothing happens. Therefore, I considered his wrong as an unlucky case, not stupid mistake.

 

Pretty sure its normal in Korea as well. 

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32 minutes ago, Wotad said:

I mean she takes care of everything maybe because hes working more? from what we saw he wakes up goes straight to work and then when he comes home shes already going to sleep?

Sorry to delete some of your post.

 

Regarding the above, i think the drama protray that she had chosen a job that allows her to pick the children up from school or nanny (someone has to pick up the children!) 

 

Children need to sleep early so it is not surprise that he came home and she is about to sleep.  Cos putting children to sleep for exhausted mummy is very encouraging for her to "nap" too. :D  It will be good if husband can come home early once awhile to help.  But if he does, we will not have a drama. Hee!

 

One major issue with wife here is before baby her priority is husband. After birth, she changes her priority to children and neglects husband.  

 

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@tok-soompi, she probably neglected the husband because she’s too tired from taking care of the kids. I have tremendous respect for women who work and still comes home to take care of the kids especially small children like that. Imagine all the work she has to do for the kids (laundry, bathing, food prep, soothing them, putting them to bed, cleaning up their toys, preparing their day care bag for the next day, dressing them, etc) and also chores for her husband and also cleaning and maintaining the house. Remember when the husband was looking for a shirt to wear to work he asked her for one. This shows that she’s the one responsible for his work clothes. I pity her because to me he should be able to at least do that...take care of himself. Even if he works long hours, I still think he should help out at home.

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6 minutes ago, stuartjmz said:

:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

 

Quoting all this because it's literally the whole point of the problem.  LOTS of people here are saying stuff like  "he works hard, she should know that, he deserves his PlayStation" etc., but the asymmetry of the workload is ENORMOUS. It's also nearly universal - it's not just this fictional Drama couple, it's the reality for working mothers around the world, in pretty much every country and culture.   Her workload is WAY bigger than his, and until he recognises that, and they can work out some way of at least partially correcting that imbalance, the strains on their relationship will continue. 

Yeah, I live in the United States and my parents had the exact same setup as the couple in this drama except they had a good marriage. My dad is a good husband and father, and it wasn't that he was selfish or unwilling to do more to help; It was just how things were back then and how they both were raised. Nowadays, my sister and her husband both work and there is much more balance in the workload at home, but still, more just kind of naturally falls on my sister. 

 

These issues are really relatable, and I'm glad the drama is addressing them, especially in a country like South Korea where it is so cultural. 

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I would rather marry a man who doesn't help me at home than marry a man who throws my laptop into bathtub because I want to watch the drama "Familiar Wife" :lol: Haha, I'm just kidding, but not 100% :tounge_wink:

 

videotogif_2018.08.12_22.51.50.gif

 

Sorry, I can't help posting the cute gifs I made ^_^ When and why is she so good at joking? :lol: 

 

@tok-soompi  total agree with your two latest posts :D

 

 

 

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@bluesoul7, I certainly didn’t agree with Woo-jin throwing her husband’s game console into the bath tub. I however see this as a consequence of her resentment towards her husband for many things including perhaps wasting his precious time and money on games when she herself is tired, overworked and worrying about the cost of taking care of her mom. In other words, those are important life matters compared to gaming. In her place and situation, I can understand why she went berserk and did that although it was unkind. 

 

Regarding the historical or cultural view of women taking care of the kids, house, etc., a lot of the times that’s when women used to stay at home full time. I think it’s unfair that working moms are expected to continue to do all this while the husband doesn’t help as much. Thankfully a lot of men, even the professional ones, are doing a lot more to take care of their kids now.

 

In this drama, except for two scenes, I hardly saw JH taking care of his kids whereas his friend kept talking about his twins and we see in the new timeline his other friend was taking care of his baby without any complaints. I’m not saying that JH doesn’t love his kids or baby-sat now and again, it just seems like he didn’t think much about them particularly when he forgot to pick them up from the day care and when he only remembered them a good while into the new timeline.

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2fqzoc_1.gif

 

At the end of Ep 4, I was a bit surprised that woo jin's mom called his name and knew him. Is it possible that she will remember only the face of her loved ones? She is a dementia. Just like she remembered her husband, but her husband actually died a long time ago, Joo Hyuk, he is a good husband of woo jin, she should have a good memory with him, she remembered him precisely. She is one of the important variables that make woo jin suspect in Joo Hyuk, but I think the writer will not focus on woo jin's mom much because it feels too easy. Feel it must have many more complicated stories.:D

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First timeline:

 

Husband needs to do more. Come on.

 

  • He could bring home food and make sure she eats.
  • He could help give one kid a bath while she gives the other one a bath, instead of tip-toeing past the bathroom as she struggles with both of them.
  • He could maybe not screw up at work so he gets his promotion and maybe she can quit her job as a masseuse where she is treated like crap by a-hole customers.
  • He could sincerely ask about her mother instead of whining about how she doesn't make them food anymore. Or go see her.
  • He can pick up some toys instead of leaving her to do it after a long, exhausting day.

 

Small gestures count. In the second timeline, his sister tells him how much she appreciates that her husband gets up at night to soothe the baby, 7 times out of 10. He doesn't have to do exactly 1/2 the work, but he should help in every way he can.

 

It's hard taking care of one baby, let alone two. Husbands need to help. Hobbies and relaxation time is important, but if you have little babies at home, you really need to give it a break until the kids are older, especially when the burden falls on one person to do the heavy-lifting.

 

I'm on the women's side all the way on this issue. It doesn't matter if the women had to do everything in the past. That is wrong and needs to change.

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There was a flashback scene where woo jin is drinking and asking joo hyuk did she marry alone? Why is she the only one taking care of the kids. That is their biggest issue, woo jin while also working a physically demanding job is responsible for everything. If only she is not working, she should not complain but she is a working mother too. While i also do not like the way woo jin handles the game console issue, sometimes when you are already fed up, reasoning is already out of the window. Their kids are too young, needs all the assistance. And woo jin needs all the help she can get. Joo hyuk needs to realize what went wrong and why the two of them who loved each other to death and definitely are good people ended up in that state. Woo jin has her anger issues definitely but as we can see in the new timeline, she has grown and matured well. That shows that most of her anger issues resulted from their marital problems. The story is shown on joo hyuk's POV because he has a lot more things to correct and improve on his end. It is basically a reflection of all the things that he should have done and he will realize it from the changes that have happened from the people around him.

 

Recap for episode 3 is out on dramabeans and very nicely written:wub:

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9 hours ago, celebrianna said:

@tok-soompi, she probably neglected the husband because she’s too tired from taking care of the kids. I have tremendous respect for women who work and still comes home to take care of the kids especially small children like that. Imagine all the work she has to do for the kids (laundry, bathing, food prep, soothing them, putting them to bed, cleaning up their toys, preparing their day care bag for the next day, dressing them, etc) and also chores for her husband and also cleaning and maintaining the house. Remember when the husband was looking for a shirt to wear to work he asked her for one. This shows that she’s the one responsible for his work clothes. I pity her because to me he should be able to at least do that...take care of himself. Even if he works long hours, I still think he should help out at home.

 

Shes taking care of the kids because hes working more that is what im trying to get across sure shes looking after the kids and working but lets not act like hes doing nothing .

 

He works all day comes home and she is already as sleep and no dinner pre pared sure i know thats not just a woman's job but i can understand his frustration as well. 

 

What time does he really have to help at home , does he cut down his work hours to help at home or provide for his two children? 

 

People here need to understand what Korea is like Men in Korea are very prideful they want to provide for their family which is exactly what hes doing. 

8 hours ago, stuartjmz said:

:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

 

Quoting all this because it's literally the whole point of the problem.  LOTS of people here are saying stuff like  "he works hard, she should know that, he deserves his PlayStation" etc., but the asymmetry of the workload is ENORMOUS. It's also nearly universal - it's not just this fictional Drama couple, it's the reality for working mothers around the world, in pretty much every country and culture.   Her workload is WAY bigger than his, and until he recognises that, and they can work out some way of at least partially correcting that imbalance, the strains on their relationship will continue. 

 

Hes working all day to provide how do you want him to fix that imbalance? 

 

Why is no-one talking about how selfish she is as well he saved for a PS4 by working hard then she throws it away and does not even have a discussion with him?

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