[Drama 2018] Familiar Wife, 아는 와이프

[Pam_Van Fossen]

On 8/17/2018 at 4:23 AM, chickfactor said:

Hye-Won as Joo-Hyuk's wife: the bottom line is that he actually doesn't know her that well. They had the first date, they kissed, and the next thing he knows, he's already been married to her for a few years. They don't have any history. There is no courtship period, no honeymoon period, no fights and makeups (except that one we saw). In reality, he's only known her for a few days. Were they ever in love with each other during the years of their relationship that we never saw? We don't know.

 

But based on what we do know about Hye-Won: she's a selfish person. She does exactly what she wants, and won't do anything she doesn't want to. This doesn't make her an evil person or anything. She is simply a product of her environment. She was born into privilege, she is pretty, so she's used to getting her way. Even if she has an affair and Joo-Hyeok divorces her, so what? The social and material consequences to her life will be minimal. She will move on without too much trouble.

 

With Woo-Jin, they have a shared history, although he's the only one who knows about it in this timeline. They definitely were in love, and were really close at some point. The first episodes made it seem like she just had a crush and he stuck around because he felt sorry for her when her father suddenly died. But the more flashbacks we see, the more we see that at some point, he really adored her and they seemed very in love.

 

Ji Sung is doing his usual amazing job in this role, but Han Ji-Min really shines. She is so cool and sassy as Woo-Jin V.2 and also does a great job showing Woo-Jin V.1 as a broken woman.

 

I know communication is key in every healthy relationship - says Oprah and every advice column in existence. But what do you do when your partner doesn't hear you? She was crying out for help, but he didn't hear her. I'm glad Joo-Hyuk is taking responsibility for his role in the deterioration of their marriage. She may have made some mistakes, but I think on balance, his mistakes are bigger.

 

I do want to make clear that I don't think anyone is a monster in this show. Even Hye-Won isn't a monster, just a bit spoiled. Not the right wife for Joo-Hyuk, but surely the right wife for some other guy.

@chickfactor, Well stated.  

[fans123]

6 hours ago, richelle said:

@fans123that was funny lol. I think he already knows what he wants and what he have lost but sad to say it is already too late. He needs to suffer the consequences of what he has done. I am sure even if woo jin is drawn to him, she will not dare to involve herself with a married man. So she will be giving jong hoo a chance. But as someone mentioned, her dreams and memories of him will play a big part. Wednesday pali pali

Oh yes @richelle this should be his punishment instead . I don't think he can just go back that easily to undo the wrong. 

I can't wait too... Pali pali Wed 

[ForgottenSoulx]

7 hours ago, Pam_Van Fossen said:

@ravairie,

 

Everything you said about KH i can re send back to WJ she is a bad wife as well.

 

 

[richelle]

So many good points that i can read here. Really nice and you will learn a lot kind of posts Sometimes when we are angry and so many things already have piled up, we tend to do things impulsively and not really deliberately. I want to believe this is what happened to joo hyuk. But sad to say, it was kind of destiny to see woo jin again and he is falling in love with her again which is his ultimate punishment in what he has done. Seeing woo jin with jong hoo who is his friend makes it more painful. It is only woo jin for now, once he starts realizing that he also lost their children, it will be more heart wrenching. Woo jin needs to have those memories so she can also reflect on her mistakes. They both contributed to the state of marriage they are in but joo hyuk has contributed more of why woo jin turned out that way. Episode 7 pali pali

[ForgottenSoulx]

3 hours ago, richelle said:

So many good points that i can read here. Really nice and you will learn a lot kind of posts Sometimes when we are angry and so many things already have piled up, we tend to do things impulsively and not really deliberately. I want to believe this is what happened to joo hyuk. But sad to say, it was kind of destiny to see woo jin again and he is falling in love with her again which is his ultimate punishment in what he has done. Seeing woo jin with jong hoo who is his friend makes it more painful. It is only woo jin for now, once he starts realizing that he also lost their children, it will be more heart wrenching. Woo jin needs to have those memories so she can also reflect on her mistakes. They both contributed to the state of marriage they are in but joo hyuk has contributed more of why woo jin turned out that way. Episode 7 pali pali

 

We can only assume that JH contributed more because we see more of his view rather than her's. 

[unknown12]

On 8/16/2018 at 4:52 PM, stuartjmz said:

"romcom" - good idea!  I hate the expression "witchy resting face" (y'all know which letter to replace),  but HJM has what some PDs seem to think of as a "weary ajumma resting face" - she's good at looking worn out, stressed, etc. Whereas besides looking drop dead gawjuss like she does in photo shoots, she can also smile brilliantly, like this. Kudos to this Drama for showing it, and hopefully reminding other PDs what HJM has to offer. 

Hear Hear!! couldn't agree more 

 

Right now I'm thrilled to see what will happen after Woo Jin's dream become clearer and knowing that Joo Hyuk was her husband in original timeline (and they don't really have a happy marriage), and then how would she react after learning that her husband made an alter decision in the past just to be with his first love. 

 

For the next episode, when JH's trying to go back to his original life, I also think that wouldn't happen, because:

1. it's still to early for him to go back to the past again, remember, he needs that "phenomenal event or black hole stuff" to make it happen.

2. Even if he could go back, what will he gonna do?? It should be happen naturally (we called it fate), he can't change anything the way he wants or purposely (he's still conscious about having the power to make a decision). I'm afraid if he changes it the way he wants, his future will also be a little different (learning by the first one when he's gone to the past unwillingly).

Well, let us hope the writer put up a good show, that's her homework for us to enjoy it till the end 

[hugo10]

1 hour ago, unknown12 said:

For the next episode, when JH's trying to go back to his original life, I also think that wouldn't happen, because:

1. it's still to early for him to go back to the past again, remember, he needs that "phenomenal event or black hole stuff" to make it happen.

2. Even if he could go back, what will he gonna do?? It should be happen naturally (we called it fate), he can't change anything the way he wants or purposely (he's still conscious about having the power to make a decision). I'm afraid if he changes it the way he wants, his future will also be a little different (learning by the first one when he's gone to the past unwillingly).

Well, let us hope the writer put up a good show, that's her homework for us to enjoy it till the end 

I think JH will cause some mistakes which lead to an unexpected future : become single and unemployee, must leave with his sister's family, ha ha

[richelle]

For sure it will not easy to go back. It will still be too early to go back, he should agonize seeing jong hoo and woo jin first lol. His bff jong hoo will also be heart broken, see he has changed a lot due to the what if that he has chosen. Looking forward to wed. It has been a fun and heart warming to watch so far i hope the writer has a lot on her sleeves. We still have 10 episodes to go.

[Carmarie]

On 8/16/2018 at 12:08 AM, 2handsintertwined said:

I loved Ji Sung in Kill Me Heal Me. I loved all of his personalities! I think that must've been one of the most difficult roles. I don't think mental illness is funny. So I'm asking, how will he do in this drama? Any room for me in here???  

I would recommend you watch Ji Sung in the "Defendant".  He is an amazing actor, that is why I decided to watch this drama.  Ji Sung has been picking great projects in the last 4 or 5 years.  There is definitely room for you here.

 

My thoughts on this week's episodes.

It is the case of you do not know what you have until you lose it.  As the saying goes, "you don't miss the water until the well runs dry."  JH is now missing his water.  I like the way the writer makes him reflex on his and WJ's life together (love the flashbacks.)  He had forgotten what made him love her in the first place. He now has a deeper insight of how she thinks.  For example, he knew she liked sad movies, but he did not know why.  In this time line he has a chance to reflect and understand WJ.  I loved the fact that he came to the realization that WJ was not a monster, he turned her into a monster.  He only thought about the hard time he was having and never stopped to think that she was having a hard time also. JH also realizes that being married to HW, is not all he thought is would be.  The grass in not greener on the other side.  Granted in his old life at work, the manager was "breaking his balls" and his home life was chaotic, he now realizes he had a responsibility to make the marriage work, it was not all on WJ.  

 

Unlike others that think JH should let WJ go, I think they should get back together.  Now that JH realizes his role in the unhappiness in their marriage, I believe he should have an opportunity to get it right.  Although this is a alternate timeline, WJ's soul still recognizes, JH and their connection even through time and space.

 

Other Thoughts

Some have tried to make the comparison between this drama and Throw Back Couple, in my opinion, they are entirely different, the only similarities are the coupes in both dramas were unhappy in their marriages, neither knew how to solve their problems without divorce, and the time travel aspect. Everything else is completely different.  Personally, I try not to compare dramas unless I am looking at a remake.  I try to look at each drama as its own story.  

 

I think Joo Hyuk just got too much beef from some viewers. However, I like flawed characters. In the real world, there are many gray areas not just black or white. That makes it more interesting, and our characters more human. Through the drama, I see that JH saw glimpse of his failing marriage and his own doings. We should watch and support their own learning and discover to be better. 

 

I can't wait to watch ep 6 in sub. Woohoo!! I enjoy reading everyone's discussion too. Keep it up!!

[bluesoul7]

1 hour ago, Carmarie said:

For example, he knew she liked sad movies, but he did not know why.  In this time line he has a chance to reflect and understand WJ

 

In my point of view, Woo Jin didn't like sad movies. Joo Huyk  just misunderstood that because she had exploded, screaming that she said no when he tried to watch his game. But now, when Woo Jin speaks her mind, Joo Huyk realizes that :

 

" You must have wanted to cry then. You must have wanted to be comforted then. You must have been deeply lonely then. Driven by work, I thought I was struggling the most. I was already facing a lot of trouble, so I wanted you to deal with your trouble on your own. I turned a blind eye to you, knowing how you suffered."

 

In the past, he probably just thought that "How strange my wife is today!"  

 

This is LollyPip's comment on Dramabeans about this scene: 

 

"Early on in the show, I’d wondered how Joo-hyuk could have driven Woo-jin to such anger and disappointment that she’d fly off the handle even when he was being cheerful, because he seemed pretty sweet and gentle even then. But the scene where he came home late on her father’s memorial day made me realize that his cheerfulness was a big part of the problem, because it translated to neglect when Woo-jin needed him the most. Joo-hyuk tends to pretend that things are fine even when they aren’t fine, as if he’s hoping that being in a good mood will make it okay that he missed an important event. But Woo-jin didn’t feel she could rely on him to take things seriously when needed, so she lost faith in him and stopped leaning on him for support. Yes, Woo-jin should have told Joo-hyuk that she needed him to step up and be someone she could rely on when things got tough, but she probably felt that he’d just blow that off like he did everything else. No wonder she felt so alone, and got so depressed and angry."

 

And I have to say this again and again: Both Ji Sung and Han Ji Min are doing their great jobs  

[Carmarie]

On 8/16/2018 at 11:43 AM, Kooslee said:

I think Joo Hyuk just got too much beef from some viewers. However, I like flawed characters. In the real world, there are many gray areas not just black or white. That makes it more interesting, and our characters more human. Through the drama, I see that JH saw glimpse of his failing marriage and his own doings. We should watch and support their own learning and discover to be better. 

 

I can't wait to watch ep 6 in sub. Woohoo!! I enjoy reading everyone's discussion too. Keep it up!!

I agree with you.  I like flawed characters also.

 

As has been stated previously by, @Pam_Van FossenJH was married to WJ for years, long enough to have two children.  He remembers falling in love with her, he remembers marrying her, he remembers her mother.  With HW, he wakes up in a different bed, married to someone else.  Although he is married, and I do not condone cheating, he does not feel connected or really married to HW.  His head knows he is married to HW, but his heart does not.  Cut the man some slack folks.     He is flawed as we all are. This writer has allowed JH to step back and see his shortcomings and by simply listening, (something he did not do when he was married to WJ), JH has gained new insight into WJ.  I can see this character growing and maturing, I believe JH and WJ will have a successful marriage once they both learn how to cope with stress and other relationship issues.  To JH's credit, he tried not to feel the way he does about WJ, and part of him, because he knows and loves her, tries to protect her.  

 

By the way, I am in the minority also, I do not think JH should be punished.  He ran into HW when he was most vulnerable, and what does she tell him... you know I used to like you.  Okay, just like us flawed people, he starts to think of the possibilities, the what ifs.  Unlike most of us, for whom it is just a daydream; a thought and then we go on with our lives, he gets the opportunity to explore the what if.   I am sure he would have adjusted to the new life if he had not met WJ again.  We all knew that life was not going to be that simple, JH had to face the consequences of his choices and see his mistakes, his shortcomings. 

 

I am enjoying this drama, next WJ must see her part in the failing of their marriage.  JH played a huge role in its failure, but it was not him alone, WJ's temper was scary... after having a lobster claw thrown at you in a way to cause deadly injury, I am sure you would want a divorce also or at least not live under the same roof.

[ForgottenSoulx]

6 hours ago, Carmarie said:

 

 

You say it shouldn't have been all on WJ to make the married work but clearly she was not trying to do that . She was aggressive and even quite violent from what we have seen . She never thought about what hes going through either its not just his fault. 

 

He never had a responsibility to make the marriage work they both do. 

 

 

3 hours ago, Carmarie said:

 

 

I am enjoying this drama, next WJ must see her part in the failing of their marriage.  JH played a huge role in its failure, but it was not him alone, WJ's temper was scary... after having a lobster claw thrown at you in a way to cause deadly injury, I am sure you would want a divorce also or at least not live under the same roof.

 

Exactly imagine coming home to that everyday.

[lara2018]

This is a phenomenal drama.  I think most married people have moments (or years) when it is a struggle to see past the flaws of their partner.  As this show portrays so well, so realistically, the struggle is hardest when there is no energy to be positive -- when your energy is spent fighting the indignities suffered at work, worrying about money, taking care of babies and older dependents, surviving. 

 

How can you be positive or nurture someone else when you are so depleted? It feels like you can't. It's much easier to hate and blame the other person, and to imagine escape -- whether it's divorce or what it might have been like if you had gotten together with some other person. A friend who constantly fought with her husband once told me that she would never divorce him because there was no guarantee that any other man would be better.   

 

The show makes me feel so much empathy for both WJ and JH. WJ rushes from work to daycare to home. Once she gets the kids down, she has to raise her exhausted carcass up to tidy up the house. She has zero "me time." She has no time to even shower or pretty herself up. Most working moms of young kids have gone through this and it's like coming back from the dead when your kids finally sleep through the night and become more independent. But WJ isn't just the main caregiver to her two young children. She is responsible for a mother succumbing to dementia. And she doesn't have money to help her with all of her responsibilities. Her husband doesn't make much, and she herself never got to reach her professional potential. Instead, she makes low wages as a masseuse catering to self-centered, condescending socialites. WJ doesn't get enough sleep, exercise, respect. She is like a pile of dry tinder; any additional stress makes her combust. And who else do you explode at but the person closest to you?

 

JH has also had to shelve his own dreams. He wanted to be a ballet dancer, not a middle-manager at a bank, wedged between the higher-ups and subordinates. He feels a lot of pressure as the main breadwinner. He doesn't make enough to allow his wife not to work or to look pampered and pretty, or to live in a nice home, or to drive a fancy car. He doesn't make enough which is why they all have to share a single bed. He doesn't even make enough money that his wife can't help but freak out at him spending money on a lavish floral bouquet for their anniversary instead of food, because money is so tight that she can't bear to waste expired products. He can feel his wife's unhappiness, and probably feels responsibility as well as resentment for this. As JH so heartbreakingly said to WJ when he found her drowning his new Playstation, it's been years since he's bought anything for himself and he wants to have a little release, particularly when he only sees her sour face at home every day after work. And, as JH discussed with Jong-Hoo while eating breakfasts not cooked by their wives, they grew up with expectations of gender roles -- where his wife would take care of the home front while he only had to do battle at work -- that are now obsolete. He is afraid of his wife's temper, and he doesn't have much "me time" either.  He has to hide his old videogame console in the back of his closet, to hide his new console in a garbage bag picked from the actual garbage bin and tucked behind diapers, and steal from sleep time to recreate. A man needs his pride, and in his life with WJ, he has almost none.       

 

Who has it worse? WJ or JH? I want to say that it's easier to be JH (whose attachment to his kids is pretty freakin' thin). But then, that's the root of their marital problems, isn't it? WJ would be explosively angry at JH for playing videogames because why should he have any time to play when she doesn't, and why should he spend money on toys when she can't afford to put her mother in a care facility? JH would be resentful of WJ for yelling at him in public about making her go to the back of the grocery line so that he can buy shaving cream because he needs to shave for work and he ran and he even picked the brand that is on discount.  

 

No marriage will work if you keep score. No matter how hard things are, you can choose to shift your energy to think about the other person and their struggles instead of your own, to make him or her a priority, to see those things about him or her that made you first fall in love. When you do, you add to their energy and to your own, and you usually come out of the downward spiral. 

 

For JH, this perspective comes through the device of time travel to an alternate universe in which he is married to Hye-Won. At first, it seems that all of his old grievances are gone. He's got a big gaming set-up, a big house, a fancy car, a pretty wife, status. But things aren't really any better because these are matters of the exterior. He is still the same. His outlook is still self-centered. He spends almost no time with his wife, or thinking about whether she might be unhappy being a musical dilettante instead of someone pursuing music seriously. She asks him to come home early and he almost never does. He criticizes her for buying clothes and expensive groceries and using a housekeeper without considering that given her chaebol background, keeping house to the extent that she does is probably impressive as it is. I think that's why she is susceptible to that awful gold-digging valet. She's not a bad person. She suffers from loneliness just as WJ did -- but because she has too much time on her hands, it expresses itself in a wandering eye instead of in angry outbursts. And so, the core problems for JH are still there. He doesn't have much pride because everything comes from his in-laws, and he is basically their dog. 

 

What's really interesting is that when fate throws JH back with WJ, he starts to think (finally) more about her. Maybe it's the luxury of no children, or the prompt of jealousy, but he starts to remember what she was like before the pressures of life took over and to pay attention to who she is beyond those circumstances. He starts to take responsibility (which is the root of real pride) for making her into the monster that he wanted to flee. I think that's the explanation for the time travel man's exhortation to let WJ be happy. 

 

I want to see WJ go through the same journey, because there really isn't an excuse for hurling a sharp crab-leg at your husband's face, or ruining his Playstation (which cost a lot more than a bouquet of flowers, and it would have been much more rational to just ask him to consider selling it on the secondary market, as did the seller). I don't think this has to happen just through memories. The same planetary blackhole/gravitational/moon time travel thing could apply to her. But I guess it's not necessary. JH's words to her about how she never considers how he feels seemed to hit her pretty hard. So, if JH can get back to the first timeline, particularly with a new outlook on supporting her, it strikes me that she may be in a place to do that work too. The thing that troubles me most is how the writer is going to resolve the problem of WJ's mom if they go back to the main timeline. Her dementia could go away as a result of the cosmic forces. Or JH could get a promotion and be able to (a) pay for care, or (b) allow WJ to stop working and care for mom and the kids. 

 

One thought is that if WJ were to go through the toll, I think she'd want to go back to save her father from the car accident. If he had lived, she could have gone to school and had a well-paying job. She might not have been in such a hurry to marry JH, but their romance could still have blossomed. They could still marry, have kids, and either the mom would not develop dementia or the father would be there to care for her, and there would be financial resources to support them. That would be a nice material resolution of matters, to match the inner change of heart in our married couple.   

  

 

      

[StillIRise]

Folks, we are given a glimpse of Ep 7. Think Writer-nim is working on WJ. She will recall memories in her subconscious. As written in the released news on Ep 7, the memories of their past moments is something that remain, even in the alternate timeline. 

 

I am eagerly waiting to see how their relationship will develop and how, they may go back to the original timeline (this is what I really want for them) and start on a renewed journey of their married relationship with rekindled love; now with insight and better appreciation of each other.

 

https://entertain.naver.com/read?oid=215&aid=0000673957

 

@lara2018 I really love your insightful  summary of what has gone wrong in their marriage! Thank you for your excellent post. Can’t agree more that this is a phenomenal drama 

 

[richelle]

@lara2018if we have a phenomenal drama, then your post is phenomenal too so beautifully written. Thank you for this very insightful post. I hope we can get to see more of this post like yours, so enlightening

 

So it will be wj's memories that will remind her of their precious moments together. It is their destiny. In whatever timelines, they are meant to love each other. This writer is always phenomenal too

 

 

[widala]

BTS from Episode 5, when CJH mistakenly took a costumer as a robber.

Ji Sung is so cute here and very agile too!

I love Ji Sung 

 

[fans123]

Omg thank you for your summary@lara2018, it's the ugly reality that I think, only married people would understand.

[ForgottenSoulx]

@lara2018 Loved reading that everything you said was so well written im pretty jealous .

[Carmarie]

On 8/20/2018 at 7:05 PM, lara2018 said:

This is a phenomenal drama.  I think most married people have moments (or years) when it is a struggle to see past the flaws of their partner.  As this show portrays so well, so realistically, the struggle is hardest when there is no energy to be positive -- when your energy is spent fighting the indignities suffered at work, worrying about money, taking care of babies and older dependents, surviving. 

 

I apologize for cutting your post short.

It was a very well written and thought out analysis.  I loved it.  You did not take sides or blame one over the other, but rationally looked at both sides.  

I do not know how the writer will have LW examine her marital issues; however, in order for them to be happy she has to reflect on how she contributed to the unhappiness in the marriage.  Perhaps, her hearing his voice calling her in her sleep or the familiar touch of his hand on her head and the fluttering of her heart will help her to remember their marriage.  We don't know yet, perhaps she also chose to escape her marriage to JH and they are both living in an alternative reality.  I hope episode 7 will show her perspective. 

@lara2018, I enjoyed your insight into this couple...thank you.

[nidcha202]

 

Now it seems that Woo Jin is not ready to open her mind to Jong Hoo. Her feelings are like she once loved one person. But she still can not find the answer to her. I think the deepest part of her heart is still with the man she dreams she has married with him, it makes her happy, but she can not remember his face every time she dreams. Every time she meets Joo Hyuk or close to him, it makes her confused. The more he touches her, the more warmth in her heart it feels like the more she wants to find her own answer. I want Woo Jin to date Jong Hoo not want her to fall in love. With Joo Hyuk, it's too soon. It is not right in the matter of morality. I think Joo Hyuk And now he is aware and appreciates her in the day he truly loses her. Because of his abandonment of his wife and children. In his selfishness It's almost late for him. For Woo Jin, I do not want her to suffer from the past to the present. If she regains her memories in the past. Her life in the past, she is lonely, although she has a current family, she has a mother to care for, but she still has a solitary life. She has a poor life It makes me heavy in my heart.