[Drama 2018] My Mister, 나의 아저씨 - Best Drama at 2019 (55th) BaekSang Arts Awards

[maddymappo]

12 minutes ago, timidjock0819 said:

But aren't we all emotionally vulnerable when we are falling for someone? We always run when worried about a person important to us.  

Yes, but we all have been jailed, in huge debt, beaten up by loan sharks, and murdered someone (even if justified in her mind, she knows she killed another human being and suffers for it).  As you wrote she is damaged.  Of course love makes everyone vulnerable in general. 

 

Quote

That's why their relationship needs to be ambiguous for a while until the story has already been fleshed out and loose ends all tied.  If the plot is heading that way, let the PD and writers tell their story and convince us that this type of relationship is worth it.  Besides, Jian's feelings may not be reciprocated after all by next week. It could be a one sided thing and that's ok too

Yes I agree, But if it is one sided on the part of Jian I think DH would be responsible for not as the adult, making clear what the boundaries are of their relationship.  In fact, I think he should have done that already.

 

[Yana Mujay]

1 hour ago, noor1 said:

Why can't men and women in kdramas be seen as 'people'? Is the need to romanticize and sexualize so great that people feel like they are wasting their time watching a drama unless it has some romance? Why can't there be care, respect or liking without putting it into a box of 'crush / infatuation / friendship / love/ soulmate / father-daughter / siblings' etc.? I think PD of this drama said it the best in the press conference, that people cannot wrap their head around a relationship that doesn't have skinship / sexual relations (or back hugs, ILUs, terminal illnesses, nonsense of that sort). 

 

DH initiates conversations because Ji-An doesn't talk; he is awkward because she is not an open person. He inquires about her because he knows she has a hard life. It's not sensual, sexual or friendly - it's basic human decency! He talks to everyone that way! I would love for them to be sitting together without any distance on a train, but I believe they have a connection only because they are trapped and lonely and miserable. Once things work out for them in their lives, they will be thankful for each other's support / help (even if they don't verbalize it), and move on with their respective lives. 

 

But if 'romantic notions' gets the drama more viewers, what the hell!

And why must over react about love line? hard to believe  this is happen after we discuss here day and night and reach 53 pages.

We watching same drama but this not mean we have same interpretation and no need to pressure everyone to accepted our though, right?

I proud and love when there is loveline at the end.that's  more meaningfull indeed because Jian can find her (maybe)first love not in random man but in someone who teach her how to see the world in different preception guard her when she needed.  

Because i belief there is love between them  but not in romantice manner couse.

 

[TJ Starcandy]

58 minutes ago, dvdwyn said:

in the first few episodes, angel hubby feel discomfort in having meal with young girl.. (he does not want people to misunderstand)

but now he actually hoping to have a meal and drink with her (probably after the confirmation of the cheating wife?)

even saying the "pretty" young girl to the bartender... 

 

perhaps now he thought, "hell my wife is cheating on me on the highest level (affair of the heart and physical), so why should i feel guilty having meal and drinks with other girl?"

 

but why oh why he didnt get mad like crazy but instead hoping to have a meal with other girl? (this probably a hint of prove that he does not really love or care for her anymore)

isnt this not solving the problem? this is making the marriage worse isnt it? he should have a deep talk with her instead... if he really wants to save the marriage... 

 

the other fact that he actually does not want the cheating wife to know also confuse me a bit.. 

how can he expect things to go normal and smoothly after this affair incident? just by keeping quiet and as if nothing happened? hoping the wife learn her mistake and adjust with his life instead?

 

again where is the communication? 

 

There is a missing puzzle piece into that marriage that likely will be revealed later on. I thought their estrangement was because of their child's death but that is not the case. There must be something else then..

[TJ Starcandy]

9 minutes ago, maddymappo said:

Yes, but we all have been jailed, in huge debt, beaten up by loan sharks, and murdered someone (even if justified in her mind, she knows she killed another human being and suffers for it).  As you wrote she is damaged.  Of course love makes everyone vulnerable in general

 

She lived a very hard life which makes her a strong person. So any form of power imbalance or society's judgment won't affect her. She is already an outcast. Jian is not an open person in fact she does not let anyone in. She hustles for money and clearly can be manipulative if she wants something that's what I meant by damaged. She is not a good person. There is something about DH other than his kindness that attracts her..

21 minutes ago, maddymappo said:

Yes I agree, But if it is one sided on the part of Jian I think DH would be responsible for not as the adult, making clear what the boundaries are of their relationship.  In fact, I think he should have done that already.

 

 

If its one sided, DH is going to set up boundaries again like what he did with on that episode with attempted kiss. So we shall see whether JYD is wrong or right about DH.. 

[Yana Mujay]

 

 

[sadiesmith]

1 hour ago, dvdwyn said:

in the first few episodes, angel hubby feel discomfort in having meal with young girl.. (he does not want people to misunderstand)

but now he actually hoping to have a meal and drink with her (probably after the confirmation of the cheating wife?)

even saying the "pretty" young girl to the bartender... 

 

perhaps now he thought, "hell my wife is cheating on me on the highest level (affair of the heart and physical), so why should i feel guilty having meal and drinks with other girl?"

 

but why oh why he didnt get mad like crazy but instead hoping to have a meal with other girl? (this probably a hint of prove that he does not really love or care for her anymore)

isnt this not solving the problem? this is making the marriage worse isnt it? he should have a deep talk with her instead... if he really wants to save the marriage... 

 

the other fact that he actually does not want the cheating wife to know also confuse me a bit.. 

how can he expect things to go normal and smoothly after this affair incident? just by keeping quiet and as if nothing happened? hoping the wife learn her mistake and adjust with his life instead?

 

again where is the communication? 

I think it's because he now feels very comfortable around her, compared to earlier when he felt that he was being manipulated by her and just wanting her to leave him alone.  If he believed what he said earlier, that people would find their eating scandalous, then he is being careless now, although not intentionally. If he really didn't think eating with her was problematic and only said so just to get her off his back, then eating with her now is also not a problem.  I really don't think he is deliberately or even subconsciously trying to revenge his wife's wrongdoing by eating openly with JA.

[TJ Starcandy]

2 hours ago, noor1 said:

Why can't men and women in kdramas be seen as 'people'? Is the need to romanticize and sexualize so great that people feel like they are wasting their time watching a drama unless it has some romance? Why can't there be care, respect or liking without putting it into a box of 'crush / infatuation / friendship / love/ soulmate / father-daughter / siblings' etc.? I think PD of this drama said it the best in the press conference, that people cannot wrap their head around a relationship that doesn't have skinship / sexual relations (or back hugs, ILUs, terminal illnesses, nonsense of that sort). 

 

DH initiates conversations because Ji-An doesn't talk; he is awkward because she is not an open person. He inquires about her because he knows she has a hard life. It's not sensual, sexual or friendly - it's basic human decency! He talks to everyone that way! I would love for them to be sitting together without any distance on a train, but I believe they have a connection only because they are trapped and lonely and miserable. Once things work out for them in their lives, they will be thankful for each other's support / help (even if they don't verbalize it), and move on with their respective lives. 

 

But if 'romantic notions' gets the drama more viewers, what the hell!

 

pls don't stress that's why we call our shipper discussion delusions. Probably by next week all of the delulu talk will end unless the PD does something again. 

[philosophie]

2 hours ago, noor1 said:

Why can't men and women in kdramas be seen as 'people'? Is the need to romanticize and sexualize so great that people feel like they are wasting their time watching a drama unless it has some romance? Why can't there be care, respect or liking without putting it into a box of 'crush / infatuation / friendship / love/ soulmate / father-daughter / siblings' etc.? I think PD of this drama said it the best in the press conference, that people cannot wrap their head around a relationship that doesn't have skinship / sexual relations (or back hugs, ILUs, terminal illnesses, nonsense of that sort). 

 

DH initiates conversations because Ji-An doesn't talk; he is awkward because she is not an open person. He inquires about her because he knows she has a hard life. It's not sensual, sexual or friendly - it's basic human decency! He talks to everyone that way! I would love for them to be sitting together without any distance on a train, but I believe they have a connection only because they are trapped and lonely and miserable. Once things work out for them in their lives, they will be thankful for each other's support / help (even if they don't verbalize it), and move on with their respective lives. 

 

But if 'romantic notions' gets the drama more viewers, what the hell!

 

Hello, shipper here from Delulu island that wants to apologize to you if you feel uncomfortable. I certainly don’t want to seem like I’m perverting or sexualizing a relationship that is intended to be pure and platonic. I love this drama, the story and characters, so I enjoy watching it romance or not. But as I have a tendency to ship characters and enjoy that as well, this is why I share my shipper imagination. In no way am I trying to taint anything innocent and I’m sorry if that seems that way. I should have put a disclaimer because I am not trying to disrespect any of the fellow viewers here or possibly strictly kindred spirit bond between the leads. I understand that some fans percieve JA and DH’s dynamic as one of two human beings being each other’s pillar of support without any sexual or romantic notion behind it. And that’s totally cool, I love seeing different perspectives on the relationship between the leads and I also think it’s imprtant to show that people can be as close as family without being related by blood or married and in a romantic relationship.

 

its just personally I am delulu over these two and I can’t help shipping them, so I’m sorry in advance to other posters here that may get disgusted or offended by my delulu posts cause I really don’t mean to be and I just wanna fan girl my heart out somewhere and this is my only outlet.

[sadiesmith]

26 minutes ago, timidjock0819 said:

 

She lived a very hard life which makes her a strong person. So any form of power imbalance or society's judgment won't affect her. She is already an outcast. Jian is not an open person in fact she does not let anyone in. She hustles for money and clearly can be manipulative if she wants something that's what I meant by damaged. She is not a good person. There is something about DH other than his kindness that attracts her..

 

If its one sided, DH is going to set up boundaries again like what he did with on that episode with attempted kiss. So we shall see whether JYD is wrong or right about DH.. 

She mentioned that people have often helped her in the past, even repeatedly, but her cynicism wouldn't let her acknowledge the act as true kindness, until DH pointed it out to her.  So yeah, there is something beyond kindness in DH.

 

The scary thing is DH himself thinking that he has been fortunate so far not to have run into any temptation.  He himself is not sure how he would react when real temptation comes. It would be verrrry interesting to see if JA would intensify their interaction.  

[sadiesmith]

26 minutes ago, philosophie said:

its just personally I am delulu over these two and I can’t help shipping them, so I’m sorry in advance to other posters here that may get disgusted or offended by my delulu posts cause I really don’t mean to be and I just wanna fan girl my heart out somewhere and this is my only outlet.

 

Just want to come out in solidarity. 

[Yana Mujay]

Just now, sadiesmith said:

 

Just want to come out and show my solidarity. 

we are not alone

Oppps very interesting video 

My fav.too of course the kick and the Yangban sarcsm the best

 

[chickfactor]

These are the lyrics that Jung-Hee quoted when Dong-Hoon said that Ji-An keeps being reborn because this is not her home:

 

미워하는 미워하는 미워하는 마음없이
아낌없이 아낌없이 사랑을 주기만 할 때
수백만송이 백만송이 백만송이 꽃은 피고
그립고 아름다운 내 별 나라로
갈 수 있다네

 

Without any hate in the heart

when you give love without any reservation

a million flowers will bloom

and to my beautiful home in the stars

I can return

 

I think that answers the question: What is Ji-An going to do? And... is this romantic love?

[chickfactor]

 

Ep. 9 preview: translated

 

Ki-Hoon: Mom, Hyung became an Executive Director!

 

Director Yoon: He took whose side? That girl who organizes the receipts?

 

[some guy]: Doesn't Lee Ji-An work at that company? Didn't you lose some gift certificates?

 

Dong-Hoon: Where is that guy? ... Why are you beating a child, you bastard?

[sadiesmith]

11 minutes ago, chickfactor said:

These are the lyrics that Jung-Hee quoted when Dong-Hoon said that Ji-Ah keeps being reborn because this is not her home:

 

미워하는 미워하는 미워하는 마음없이
아낌없이 아낌없이 사랑을 주기만 할 때
수백만송이 백만송이 백만송이 꽃은 피고
그립고 아름다운 내 별 나라로
갈 수 있다네

 

Without any hate in the heart

when you give love without any reservation

a million flowers will bloom

and to my beautiful home in the stars

I can return

 

I think that answers the question: What is Ji-An going to do? And... is this romantic love?

 

Is it possible that in the end Ji-An refused the 10 million and thus putting herself out there as Joon Yoong's new target?  Doesn't matter what kind of love, it is sacrificial love.  Or is the song a foreshadow for the ending? That Ji An would ultimately sacrifice herself for DH and by the act earns herself a trip back to her "beautiful home in the stars?"  

[chickfactor]

4 minutes ago, sadiesmith said:

 

Is it possible that in the end Ji-An refused the 10 million and thus putting herself out there as Joon Yoong's new target?  Doesn't matter what kind of love, it is sacrificial love.  Or is the song a foreshadow for the ending? That Ji An would ultimately sacrifice herself for DH and by the act earns herself a trip back to her "beautiful home in the stars?"  

 

I had that thought while writing my post, and it made me really sad.

 

I hope not.

[chickfactor]

So I had a few more random thoughts after letting the show percolate in my brain for a few days:

 

- Joon-Young is the personification of what The Monk was worried about. Someone who keeps trying to have everything, but is never happy even after getting it.

 

- Also interesting is how they fleshed out the dynamics of these college "friends" with relatively few brush strokes:

 

Dong-Hoon was rather popular and well-liked. We can see how this is true. He is respected and loved by his team. They are very frustrated that he is not getting his due at the company, but they stick up for him (at their peril) and give him the benefit of the doubt whenever they can.

 

Yoon-Hee was the Dream Girl. Pretty, smart, sure to be successful. She got the popular guy.

 

Joon-Young was the wannabe. He followed DH around like a puppy and wanted to be liked. DH saw him as a user, and turned him away. Lifelong grudge is born.

 

 

[sadiesmith]

6 minutes ago, chickfactor said:

 

I had that thought while writing my post, and it made me really sad.

 

I hope not.

And what if DH also dies?  Then instead of Cinderella story we get West Side Story?  Remember the song Somewhere?

There's a place for us
Somewhere a place for us
Peace and quiet and open air
Wait for us
Somewhere

There's a time for us
Some day a time for us
Time together with time spare
Time to learn, time to care
Some day!

Somewhere
We'll find a new way of living
We'll find a way of forgiving
Somewhere...

There's a place for us
A time and place for us
Hold my hand and we're halfway there
Hold my hand and I'll take you there
Somehow
Some day
Somewhere!

[sadiesmith]

4 minutes ago, chickfactor said:

So I had a few more random thoughts after letting the show percolate in my brain for a few days:

 

- Joon-Young is the personification of what The Monk was worried about. Someone who keeps trying to have everything, but is never happy even after getting it.

 

- Also interesting is how they fleshed out the dynamics of these college "friends" with relatively few brush strokes:

 

Dong-Hoon was rather popular and well-liked. We can see how this is true. He is respected and loved by his team. They are very frustrated that he is not getting his due at the company, but they stick up for him (at their peril) and give him the benefit of the doubt whenever they can.

 

Yoon-Hee was the Dream Girl. Pretty, smart, sure to be successful. She got the popular guy.

 

Joon-Young was the wannabe. He followed DH around like a puppy and wanted to be liked. DH saw him as a user, and turned him away. Lifelong grudge is born.

 

 

Brilliant!

[zenya22]

8 hours ago, sanika said:

 

+1 on the insight. We are drowned with tales of lovers meeting, falling in love, confessing, getting married through so many stories , dramas and movies. But so few talk about how to keep the relationship strong through the passing years.

 

If I may make a loose correlation, any relationship is like a campfire, which will keep burning only if there is steady supply of wood for burning. Ideally both partners should contribute equally to keep the blaze going. We have multiple such "campfires" in our lives. How do we balance each and everyone of them. Eventually we start prioritizing  some over the others and they go out. Similar is the case with DH. Seems like he is focused towards his family and not YH. Unless we get more backstory, it will be hard to say who started it first.

 

In any relationship , it is important to move in the same direction at the same speed, else one day you will realize that the person close to you has essentially become a stranger. Many people are angry at YH for cheating. I don't mean to defend her. She and DH were at the same point 15 years ago. But as time passed they have moved away from each other as each grew to become a different person. But life is long and even a fraction of attention can sway a lonely heart. So it becomes easy to give into temptation. But change is hard, no matter what age. Unless there is some drastic need, people tend not to alter their entire life. Which is why DH doesn't want to leave YH and YH just lost her reason to leave DH.

thank you very well said

 

My question though is, if the marriage was stale, why did YH not think of divorce and stayed for 15 years? Why not leave? What is keeping her in the marriage? It seems it was when she had the affair that she thought of leaving and divorce was bandied about between her and her lover. But even JY at the breakup questioned her sincerity in going through the divorce. Did JY instinctively know that YH will defer on deciding to divorce and gave her a reason when he said for her not to divorce until DH gets fired to save his pride knowing that YH will have a hard time leaving the marriage?  Aside from everything that was already said, pro and con the affair, as already stated by many, we need to have a back story. To be considered very importantly also is the background of the story. This is an Asian and specifically Kdrama steeped in Confucian ideology and family being the center and filial piety are core beliefs. The oldest son has specific obligations to the family including care of the parents. Here, even though DH is the 2nd oldest son, he seemed to have taken the role of the oldest. In the modern world and the younger generation, these tenets may be eroding and culture beliefs changing causing confusion and problems. In the flashbacks, we see YH asking DH what is important to him and define family as DH, YH and son Jiseok. Then we see a flashback of YH making a sarcastic remark of Joseon Era being a good thing as the DIL is taken to live with the MIL family. We don’t see a response from the husband. There is no resonance between the two, as the wife is a modern thinker and the husband a traditional one. We can see From Byeon Yo Soon, (MIL) where the traditional thinking is coming from. In another flashback, KH, DH, and baby Ji Seok at mom’s home. KH was remarking how great it must be to have a DIL graduating law school and a graduation party, that if it was the son in law who graduated then the family of the son in law will give a big graduation party. MIL did not respond, and DH thank grandma for raising Ji Seok. Nowhere do we see the newly graduated lawyer. In another scene where DW was asking DH if he resented JY because he was advanced to CEO faster than him and DH answered that he did not resent him for that because JY did what he had to do including getting an MBA. So, YH had JS and went to school and maybe had a job at the same time? Did she pay for her schooling, got a scholarship or did her parents pay for it or did DH help? All along while both YH and DH were busy with their lives, grand ma was raising JS. We can see BYS resentment of her DIL because she went to advance herself at school and grandma was raising her child while DH remained where he was. Why did DH not go for his MBA or advanced school to beef up his resume, make it easier to advance at work and be on par with his wife? Did he not have an ambition or was he too bugged down with the “obligation” as the traditional “oldest son” to the point where there is nothing of himself to give anymore yet he still tries? It seems hard for him to receive. The Chairman twice came out of the hospital to have a date with him specifically and made invitations for a date in front of the staff and he rejected him, the Chairman’s words by the way, and he does not communicate this to his wife. I can’t imagine YH reaction when she learns that the Chairman went to the office (from the hospital) personally to extend an invitation twice, once for a lunch date and another for a foot soccer game and her husband says, “I have another appointment.” YH, “what is wrong with you, you, knucklehead!!!” At the opening episodes, the reason why DH considered at first to take the bribe was because mom was insisting on him borrowing 5o mill to jump start the unemployed oldest son business venture. There is also a scene at the starting episodes where SH the oldest son was admonishing DH to stay in his job so he can take care of mom who is getting old. That was supposed to be SH role as he oldest son but he passed it on to DH. KH replied, I feel sorry for DH, he is the 2nd oldest brother but he carries a lot of load. DH was stayed quiet with a rueful smile on his face. We also do not see much of YH family. So, family dynamics, reputation and family honor, difference in priorities have contributed much to the detachment of both I partners, even to YH choice of an affair vs divorce. DH thumped down his ambition and sacrificed himself for his “big family” to the point of neglect of his FAMILY, his wife. DH does not want YH to know that he knows she had an affair so IH will not feel shamed and guilty. Here we see how he makes decisions to protect YH honor and not bring her shame but this is an example of how he makes decisions unilaterally. I am wondering though if YH will find out that DH knows about the affair through those gloves. She has one pair of gloves in her dresser. She must know where she left the other pair. But when she finds the other pair is in the glove compartment of her car will she not wonder why it was put there and who put it there? What if she will know that her husband went to the campsite where the Chairman was camping? Will she feign ignorance or will then confront husband? I hope for an all-out confrontation and DH to yell like he did with JY 

 

There is a scene of DH at the rooftop all by himself looking at the skyline in deep contemplation. Was DH finally considering to nurture his  goals and desires? Is he ready to confront his fears and move forward despite them? JY had said to him, go ahead and let everyone know because even if he gets fired and leave the company, he will get hired as CEO somewhere else but DH will always stay where he is because he is just like his older brother told him to do. He replied to JY, we shall see what kind of person I can be.

In the preview of 9, he is searching for the origin of the gift certificates used to buy the 50 mill bribe money at the beginning episodes. I think that will be a stronger weapon to use against JY and croaking Yoon. It will involve many, many people. No wonder, no one wants to give info. Here, YH must know something. Will she help DH or JY.    

[snowdragon09]

Hi all. I'm new to this thread (made an account just for this !!)

PDH and JA really..really..awaken my wild imagination..

I'm going crazy bcos they don't even touch each other yet we could feel the definite affection between them