[Drama 2018] My Mister, 나의 아저씨 - Best Drama at 2019 (55th) BaekSang Arts Awards

[sadiesmith]

1 hour ago, timidjock0819 said:

Hearts are fluttering apparently with this age gap romance - I guess two actors just needs to be hot and beautiful for it to be acceptable. 

 

https://www.allkpop.com/article/2018/04/drama-pretty-noona-who-buys-me-food-is-making-viewers-hearts-beat-with-a-realistic-age-gap-relationship

Thanks for the article, it made for an entertaining read if nothing else.  So having 2 very attractive leads and sharing many kisses so early in the run is the formula to success, ie. 5+%.    You can't deny that many hearts do flutter because of that drama.  But wonder of wonder, there are many hearts unexpectedly fluttering for My Ajusshi, too. A question, do Koreans like their romance dramas or not?  Pretty Noona is doing awesome ratings wise, and I believe it's because of its subject matter plus 2 beautiful leads.  But how come I Am Not a Robot, which seemed to be well like internationally, fared so poorly?

 

I do wonder though if our show would be more acceptable if they had cast a younger actor for the ajusshi part and age him up.  Someone like Lee Seung Gi or Ji Chang Wook or Lee Je Hoon perhaps?  Yes, then it won't be as realistic, but it seems that Korean viewers don't like their dramas too realistic. Would that have received this much backlash?

[bedifferent]

3 hours ago, timidjock0819 said:

I agree with you that I could not blame YH for having an affair. However, I don't think YH also loves DH. I think she also fell out of love probably even before JYD. And likely the only connection that they share is their son. The affair started a year before and probably because that's around the same time their son moved out and live abroad. Some marriages struggle after their kids move out because now the couple has to focus on their relationship and realized that they don't have much in common. 

 

Is marriage still worth saving if all is left are obligations, keeping up appearances, and just for the children? So YH and DH are like two rocks not moving and trap in this marriage. This cracks me up again leave it to My Ajusshi to tell a gritty story about marriage. It is not a happily ever after the wedding. There is no guarantee and love fizzles out especially when a couple grows apart.

 

 

I agree  Though their problems may have also started when DH got transferred to his current position.  It's the question of the egg before the chicken or vice versa?  Did YH started the affair which leads to DH's transferring or his work problems lead to the affair?  I also like to know why they sent Ji-Seok abroad.  Who initiated it and why?  

 

I am in the camp that JY could be the cause of all things.  From their last conversation, YH admitted that he was pitiful in college so she was happy for him when he eventually got married.  Which leads me to thinking YH and JY loved each other back then.  Her marriage to DH was a risk/benefit decision not out of love.  When DH-YH problem starts, it leads YH back to JY especially now that he is at a position more "acceptable" to her.  Am I the only one who dislikes YH even more when she answered to DH's question of her having a bad day?  She said she will win.  Coupled with her humiliation comment, I'd say both DH and YJ got the short end of the stick here in their relationships.

 

YH seems to be a woman who desires things (a prosecutor position, a life of passion/love, finer things in life) that don't jive with the ordinariness of DH.  He's a simple man who lacks that edgy exciting ambitious personality of someone like YJ who fits YH more.  At this point, they have to be honest and air out their expectations.  Somehow, agree to have dinner together.  YH had no problem confronting YJ yet she can't muster an outburst toward her husband.  It doesn't seem real.  More like they want to behave cordially because they believe it is a hopeless marriage that cannot be salvaged.  

 

16 hours ago, Sharine Phinisia said:

DH said that life is a pain and he deserves to be unhappy until the day he die. It sounds like Buddha's teaching here, but i believe DH suffers a deep depression that he can't tell anyone (at someone who posted this, thank you). Jian's 'fighting' might be the first encouragement he get after a while, and it affected him so much.

 

 

@zenya22 @maddymappo I learn a lot about Buddhism from you guys.  Thanks!  Question:  Nowhere did I hear mentioning of a higher being that DH can turn to for spiritual guidance.   It's all about inner strength and self reliance. I welcome your thoughts on this please.

 

12 hours ago, zenya22 said:

According to his coworkers, DH is responsible, talented and has potential to advance to upper management position and yet he has not done so. He either fears failing disappoint his family especially his wife and mother or he fears that if he is more successful he will feel more weighted with more responsibilities. But as the episodes advance, we see that there are more challenges pressuring him to take action, in his personal as well as business life. We shall see how he will handle this. This will be a kind of awakening for him. 

 

DH feels lonely, like he has no one to rely on... he lost his mentor, Director Park.  Before Dir Park left, he advised DH not to trust on anyone due to office politics, most out of genuineness to protect him.  Unfortunately, this advice coupled with DH's personality, erodes his confidence more.  Ji An, someone who is in his personal space as well as work, turns out to be important to DH more than he realizes.  When she yelled out "Fighting", she fills the need that he has.  She's someone who understands his problems at work, already protected him once with the gift certificates. How the writer is writing Ji-An's role in the office reminds me much of Im Si Wan's character in Misaeng.  In a way that the temp workers endear themselves to their managers. 

 

11 hours ago, maddymappo said:

In Korean dramas I often hear a character say "I am a sinner" for things like being the child of a murderer or a thief.  Just being born into a poor household. 

 

Are you describing Kwang-Il? haha.  Ok ok, I agree he has a temperament problem on top of being a miserable person.  I have a soft spot for this guy.  He's an orphan (almost like Ji-An), what he needs is someone to care.  Guidance?  Maybe that will break the awful cycle for him. Will he get a redemption arc? lol

 

@dvdwyn  I was waiting for you to quote "happy wife, happy life".   The old saying of husband putting his wife first to show that he is a loving caring partner.  The rewards come as a result where he can hang with his friends at bar, golf course, watching a game uninterrupted, buying the nth time Xbox... happy life!  

 

@TeBe Dong Hoon and Sang Hoon are somewhere in the spectrum of neglected and dutiful husbands.  Sang Hoon on the left, knowing his financial woes lead to marital discord, chose to finally work (slowly becoming grateful for the money despite first viewing it as something menial beneath him).  Will this way lead him back to a happy wife and life?  Money is part of their problems, think it's more. We know Aeryun is bothered by his brothers cuz if she ever takes her hsb back, they would go live in the mountains to prevent them hanging out like a pack.  She resents the bond among them, leading me to think that he too does not communicate well with her or have the same emotional intimacy with her in happier time.  

 

Dong Hoon is the opposite.  He sacrifices himself for what he perceives as what needed to be done to make Yoon Hee and Ji-seok happy. He internalizes his problems at work, protecting his wife and kid from the harsh reality of his struggles.  I don't know if he thinks YH will not be able to help or just caused her to be sad... but isn't she supposed to be his pillar? Avoiding small conflicts lead to larger conflicts. Eventually, that leads to more depression, more soju, more physically and emotionally distancing.  What he is doing is not authentic, YH is a woman who has issue with trust (haha I know).  DH by not telling the truth to minimize conflicts, to avoid negative consequences, is taking the easier way out.  It's harder to be vulnerable, to ask for help, to throw away this myth that strong husband supposed to soldier on, to choose honesty in a relationship. Real conversations in the open can be empathic, sympathetic and respectful.  Oh yes, respect, that's something YH clearly lacks toward her hsb. haha

 

On another note, Ki-Hoon got himself a muse... reluctantly. Yay. 

[Sakari]

E07 answered my question about how Do Hoon could so unerringly make for the campground, when he clearly had not been invited. The campground must somehow belong to the company, so if someone talked about a campfire, as Scheming Boss did (the previous day), Do Hoon knew the location instantly.

 

By the way, E07 was disjointed somehow. Lots of short scenes that didn't play out. And the time of day at the campground progressed weirdly. It was as if the whole episode had been made in a great hurry. Fortunately, E08 was better in this respect.

 

After rewatching E01, I have another question. The 50-million-won envelope disappeared from Do Hoon's desk and reappeared, the next day, in the company's trash. What happened in the meantime? Yes, we know it was all Ji An's doing, but does Do Hoon?

 

Do Hoon does seem to think Ji An had something to do with the reappearance, and has even thanked her for it. But what exactly does he think she did before that? Does he think Ji An took the money, but then changed her mind? But why would she have changed her mind? We know it was because of the loan shark – but Do Hoon doesn't, as yet.

[maddymappo]

@bedifferent Buddhism is difficult to explain because it doesn't view life the way western religion does. Also there are more sects and texts than in western religion . Some sects emphasize a doctrine of the teaching above others, so what DH is practicing is not clear to me. But in general the Buddha is within and without the entirety of life as heart/mind itself wherever there is even a speck of life there is the Buddha's mind/mercy but we need to practice to realize it. The practice is to continually seek enlightenment. When the Buddha heart,/mind appears the chains of birth and death are broken and you enjoy absolute freedom.  Also  even if you are a failure you can be happy realizing the infinite nature of life. The middle way. The mystic law permeates all life and its environment. Forgive me because this comment is not worthy of the great teaching. Just giving you a glimpse.

[sadiesmith]

I didn't realize the latest BTS started with the scene at the bar where LSK did the soju bomb.  Rather disappointed that the subber chose to only sub scenes with IU.  Here's the complete BTS:

 

 

[dvdwyn]

9 hours ago, timidjock0819 said:

 

Good point:) nice to have another perspective from a married person. Let me put another idea out there.  We always assume that DH is in love with his wife. But what if he isn't anymore? What if he is the one that fell out of love first? All the signs and symptoms are there.. he is drinking in somber - lack of attention, hang out more with his brothers, emotionally unavailable, depression, and no communication. But PDH is a good man and principled, he would not admit to this or is struggling so he punishes himself by agreeing to live like a prisoner. I agree with you that I could not blame YH for having an affair. However, I don't think YH also loves DH. I think she also fell out of love probably even before JYD. And likely the only connection that they share is their son. The affair started a year before and because that's around the same time their son moved out and live abroad. Some marriages struggle after their kids move out because now the couple has to focus on their relationship and realized that they don't have much in common. 

 

Is marriage still worth saving if all is left are obligations, keeping up appearances, and just for the children? So YH and DH are like two rocks not moving and trap in this marriage. This cracks me up again leave it to My Ajusshi to tell a gritty story about marriage. It is not a happily ever after the wedding. There is no guarantee and love fizzles out especially when a couple grows apart.

 

 

 

i think the fact he still wants to save his marriage, he is able to forgive her.. but why and how? thats not a normal reaction, people get extremely sad and angry when got cheated on....

 

how they get married in the first place though? is it because they thought they might complete each other.. there is no sufficient flashback.. 

 

in the previous drama, when the hubby played by this same actor, lol, got cheated in "my wife is having an affair", he shows more emotion, so much anger... (normal reaction from a guy when they found out the wife is cheating, unlike in this drama, its like he understand himself why the wife cheating on her)

 

 

 

7 hours ago, TeBe said:

 

I am not getting your point at all. If the angel hubby lacks in communication and is neglecting his wife and spending more time with his bros than her, does it justify the cheating ?? I am sorry . There is no justification for having an affair. She could have asked for divorce and lived her life and met men or whatever. But as long as she is the wife of some man , she had to respect that. She is bond to respect her husband and make sure to not be a disgrace to her son. The same goes to men by the way. If a man is not happy in his marriage he has only 2 choices: work out on saving it or divorce . Looking for love and attention and affection from some stranger, while you are still married is just beyond wrong . There is absolutely no way that adultery could be given a justification. Even your personal experience that you stated does not make me change my mind about that.

I am hating her for her selfishness. She never thought about the harm she is causing to the people arround her. She has no loyalty to PDH at all. She had the affair with the man , he hates the most. (While JiAn, the stranger, she hates the CEO just because PDH hates him, she slapped the office guy just because he talked trash about PDH,  do you see the huge difference?) . His wife has no morals. And that's where my hate comes from. And as I said before, she didn't put her son and his future first. At some point of life , our lives are not only about us and our desires , we have to give up on a little bit of our ego and own happiness  to protect the people we love or at least not hurt them.  However this woman her ego comes first. Remember the scenes where she was at DH's mom Birthday but was eager to see how many times did she got called by the CEO and how she smiled at her phone? She is happy to get the attention and see him desperately wanting to reach her out . She is pissed because she got dumped. She couldn't handle that at all. Her ego was hurt badly.

Anyway maybe other people could sympathize with her. But not me.

 

 

yes there is no justifications for having an affair as  i also mentioned in my previous post, its better to separate first than having an affair.. 

 

however i have experienced so much in life that i do not hate or judge someone so easily, especially since i do not live in their life... 

 

some people: oh, look at that cheating bit*h! what an adulterer, lets throw stones at her...  i hate her so much! 

me: hmm, what cause her to cheat, what happens in her life... how can i help her to be in the correct path.. i am going to pray for her life..

 

humans are not that perfect, humans make mistake.. , some learn, some dont ... 

thats why the divorce rate is very high lately.. life is not simple as well.. there are many who get married thinking they will never cheat on their husband... after some years of dead marriage everything changes.. also if there is a traumatic experience in marriage, like death of children etc, which i first thought happen in this drama..

 

another example i encounter in life, a couple got married.... the husband got inherintance from the father business before they get married and then lose the business after marriage, work freelance / almost no career, spend so much time with his friends.. ,(go home at 2-3am everyday) the wife work whole day long, take care of the children, when she ask the husband to help take care of the children, or just simply drive the children to school, the husband refuses and told her its the wife job to take care of the children... , no more communication, years and years go by... , the wife is now tempted in having an affair.. mental abuse is sometimes more deadly than phsysical abuse... yes, there are many husband who simply abandon their wife and expect the wife to be loyal till death?.. 

 

however, talking about justifications, i guess there is no justifications as well for the young girl to fall in love the angel hubby.. ? even its a selfless love? since he is a married man? i am curious how she turns out, if she is a selfless girl, she should help them get back together... no matter what... , i can see that she is falling in love with him as well now..

 

 

[dvdwyn]

7 hours ago, maddymappo said:

Thanks. I think that DH realizes his own shortcomings in the marriage, that is why his response was to protect her. There are many desperate housewives out there. Woman also need to feel desirable . If a man or woman neglects that then I am not going to call it adultery because they are only married in name only .

 

 

6 hours ago, timidjock0819 said:

 

Thank you for pointing it out.  DH was forgiving and caring towards YH in episode 8 because he understood the reason for her indiscretion. He dragged JYD into the rooftop and asked him to end things not because of love.. He never mentioned love but rather because of the damage that the affair will cause on YH's reputation. DH will protect his wife because she is after all the mother of his son. 

 

I cannot entirely hate YH despite her mistakes and selfishness because at the same time she's very human. Any ajummah out there has the right to be loved and be appreciated too. Just because she is already married and has a kid, it does not mean the romance has to stop or she won't crave for it anymore.. 

 

yes, good point guys, romance is very important in marriage life..  , and how to have romance when the angel hubby act like zombie all the time in front of the wife.. ? in the first few episode, angel hubby also does not answer or attempt any communication when asked whether he wants to have dinner or not.. what a funny and curious scene, is this the comedy part?

 

6 hours ago, bedifferent said:

 

@dvdwyn  I was waiting for you to quote "happy wife, happy life".   The old saying of husband putting his wife first to show that he is a loving caring partner.  The rewards come as a result where he can hang with his friends at bar, golf course, watching a game uninterrupted, buying the nth time Xbox... happy life!  

 

 

happy wife, happy life...  

there i said it

wow u type so much i still have not time to digest everything.. so much post, i gotta go back and read again.. 

[sanika]

13 hours ago, dvdwyn said:

 

y so much hate?

 

clearly everylife is different.. we can not judge someone so easily.. this drama makes it easier to side against the angel hubby though.. 

however i notice something that the angel hubby lacks in skill, that is communication... which is vital in every marriage.. 

 

how can he abandon his wife in communication areas, spend so much time with his family / brothers drinking around where he can spend all those time with his wife, or at least make effort to romantice their dull lifeless llife..  no wonder the wife is having an affair.. 

 

i myself a young middle aged men, average looking, self made, successful and married.. i have encounter so many girls and married women who tried to seduce me or invite me for an affair.. (the young beautiful types and career woman whose makes me wonder what is wrong with their husband? watching this great drama i can relate when they told me about their marriage problems.. )

 

let me tell you all they want is basically an attention and communication... they want comfort and happiness... which they never get during their marriage life with their husband... some husband just take their wife for granted once they get married.. 

 

when i rejected the affair and advise those married woman to basically separate first instead of having an affair (when there is no more love), they are stuck in dillemmas because of family status and most importantly children... like in this drama they also have a son... 

 

by the way anyone know the soundtrack from episode 7 and 8 near the ending , cant wait for it to be released... ost is great... one of the best dramas in 2018..  got me posting something in a while...

 

+1 on the insight. We are drowned with tales of lovers meeting, falling in love, confessing, getting married through so many stories , dramas and movies. But so few talk about how to keep the relationship strong through the passing years.

 

If I may make a loose correlation, any relationship is like a campfire, which will keep burning only if there is steady supply of wood for burning. Ideally both partners should contribute equally to keep the blaze going. We have multiple such "campfires" in our lives. How do we balance each and everyone of them. Eventually we start prioritizing  some over the others and they go out. Similar is the case with DH. Seems like he is focused towards his family and not YH. Unless we get more backstory, it will be hard to say who started it first.

 

In any relationship , it is important to move in the same direction at the same speed, else one day you will realize that the person close to you has essentially become a stranger. Many people are angry at YH for cheating. I don't mean to defend her. She and DH were at the same point 15 years ago. But as time passed they have moved away from each other as each grew to become a different person. But life is long and even a fraction of attention can sway a lonely heart. So it becomes easy to give into temptation. But change is hard, no matter what age. Unless there is some drastic need, people tend not to alter their entire life. Which is why DH doesn't want to leave YH and YH just lost her reason to leave DH.

[TJ Starcandy]

27 minutes ago, dvdwyn said:

i think the fact he still wants to save his marriage, he is able to forgive her.. but why and how? thats not a normal reaction, people get extremely sad and angry when got cheated on....

 

how they get married in the first place though? is it because they thought they might complete each other.. there is no sufficient flashback.. 

 

in the previous drama, when the hubby played by this same actor, lol, got cheated in "my wife is having an affair", he shows more emotion, so much anger... (normal reaction from a guy when they found out the wife is cheating, unlike in this drama, its like he understand himself why the wife cheating on her)

 

That's why I think he does not love her anymore or if he ever loved her at all because DH is so indifferent. He even challenged JDY that YH is not the type that he will marry because she will be a divorcee w/ child. I thought to myself what kind of husband will assume something like that?? WTH, he is trying to marry her off already I think that's the comedic part. Any other guy will beat the crap out of JDY or worst break stuff. 

[dvdwyn]

17 minutes ago, sanika said:

 

+1 on the insight. We are drowned with tales of lovers meeting, falling in love, confessing, getting married through so many stories , dramas and movies. But so few talk about how to keep the relationship strong through the passing years.

 

If I may make a loose correlation, any relationship is like a campfire, which will keep burning only if there is steady supply of wood for burning. Ideally both partners should contribute equally to keep the blaze going. We have multiple such "campfires" in our lives. How do we balance each and everyone of them. Eventually we start prioritizing  some over the others and they go out. Similar is the case with DH. Seems like he is focused towards his family and not YH. Unless we get more backstory, it will be hard to say who started it first.

 

In any relationship , it is important to move in the same direction at the same speed, else one day you will realize that the person close to you has essentially become a stranger. Many people are angry at YH for cheating. I don't mean to defend her. She and DH were at the same point 15 years ago. But as time passed they have moved away from each other as each grew to become a different person. But life is long and even a fraction of attention can sway a lonely heart. So it becomes easy to give into temptation. But change is hard, no matter what age. Unless there is some drastic need, people tend not to alter their entire life. Which is why DH doesn't want to leave YH and YH just lost her reason to leave DH.

 

good post... agreed.. and also hoping for more serious drama like this.. 

it is not easy to have a happy long lasting marriage in this life.. people need to work hard for it to keep it alive.. all the time.. 

people also need to think of their spouse as part of their body/extensions, really2 take care of them as if they were part of themselves.. 

if the spouse or children is sad, people cant just abandon them... lets say their hand is broken, they cant just expect it to heal itself, it will get rotten/worse and cut off from their body... 

[maddymappo]

It is interesting that many people seem more angry at YH because of the affair than DH is.   I know he is upset by it, but I think he understands why it happened.   

We don't know very much about their marriage. The son is in the US.  DH's mother clearly doesn't seem to like YH.  So it is natural to think YH is not a nice person if she upsets her MIL. I think we need to learn more about them and how they grew apart.  

[bedifferent]

1 hour ago, sanika said:

In any relationship , it is important to move in the same direction at the same speed, else one day you will realize that the person close to you has essentially become a stranger. Many people are angry at YH for cheating. I don't mean to defend her. She and DH were at the same point 15 years ago. But as time passed they have moved away from each other as each grew to become a different person. But life is long and even a fraction of attention can sway a lonely heart. So it becomes easy to give into temptation. But change is hard, no matter what age. Unless there is some drastic need, people tend not to alter their entire life. Which is why DH doesn't want to leave YH and YH just lost her reason to leave DH.

 

Love your thoughts here.  I just want to say I love it when I see elders, grandma holding hands with grandpa, on the street.  Exactly like you said, these people walk together at the same speed till they grow old.  

[TJ Starcandy]

9 hours ago, sadiesmith said:

Thanks for the article, it made for an entertaining read if nothing else.  So having 2 very attractive leads and sharing many kisses so early in the run is the formula to success, ie. 5+%.    You can't deny that many hearts do flutter because of that drama.  But wonder of wonder, there are many hearts unexpectedly fluttering for My Ajusshi, too. A question, do Koreans like their romance dramas or not?  Pretty Noona is doing awesome ratings wise, and I believe it's because of its subject matter plus 2 beautiful leads.  But how come I Am Not a Robot, which seemed to be well like internationally, fared so poorly?

 

I do wonder though if our show would be more acceptable if they had cast a younger actor for the ajusshi part and age him up.  Someone like Lee Seung Gi or Ji Chang Wook or Lee Je Hoon perhaps?  Yes, then it won't be as realistic, but it seems that Korean viewers don't like their dramas too realistic. Would that have received this much backlash?

 

I don't think it would have made a difference whichever leading man. This show will still receive hate because of IU's mass popularity  and her haters will spread endless lies no matter what. As much as IU is well loved in Korea, many antis also wants to take her down. Price of fame I guess. 

 

I am sure My Ajusshi viewers are enjoying and are giggly too. The show was able to retain the core audience and ratings are increasing so far. It broke the 6% according to news portals. I guess Koreans don't mind the ambiguous relationship of DH and Jian.  In terms of the backlash, it looks like TVN and the production is already expecting it since last year and prepared well for it. Just my two cents but devoted IU fans should start defending this show from haters as if there is already a possible love line written despite the news conference. Unless if they have a copy of the entire script until episode 16, the story could turn and have a different ending. I mean what are they going to do if writer Park and PD Kim will decide to join the shipper delulu island on later episodes? This is still a Kim Won Suk drama and he is no push over in terms of his artistry. He wouldn't care about backlash from haters. Why absolutely deny something if you are not 100% sure about how the ending will be written? 

[noor1]

1 hour ago, maddymappo said:

It is interesting that many people seem more angry at YH because of the affair than DH is.   I know he is upset by it, but I think he understands why it happened.   

We don't know very much about their marriage. The son is in the US.  DH's mother clearly doesn't seem to like YH.  So it is natural to think YH is not a nice person if she upsets her MIL. I think we need to learn more about them and how they grew apart.  

@maddymappo you're right, viewers are more angry than DH - but it only seems that way. DH is not an expressive guy to say the least and he suffers blows and punches silently. That's why what J-An said to him (how could someone who makes so much money be so bored / disinterested in life?) hit him hard, because it was true. While I don't think it's necessary to know the couple's back story (it's practically written on their faces: the passage of time, routine, disconnect and dissatisfaction with each other), they have been together and married for a long time. DH fulfills his duties and does not like tilting any boats. And he is not the type to throw away what he has built or tried to salvage (like he tells Ji-An, even if all the things you work for are not there for you it still does not matter). But he was hit hard by the betrayal - his wife was trying to get him fired so that he doesn't lose face! He sat and sat and pondered: I mean, an affair, romance, and that too with a boss, junior from college, and he has to endure insults at work where people are trying to get rid of him - not because he is incompetent but, as he finds out, because his wife is having an affair with the boss! But he endures it, like he endures everything else. 

 

If the son is in the U.S. it is because his parents (both of middle class backgrounds) want a better future for their son than they had. People make it sound like it's a crime - but the wife is a lawyer, he works in a structural engineering company, both are busy at work and can afford to spend on foreign schooling. 

 

DH's mother just worries about her sons like all mothers do, none of them is successful - DH is the one with a good job but not as high as his wife's. I personally think YH has personality issues (she has catty / snide remarks for everyone, is generally unhappy and self-absorbed and thinks mighty high of herself as if everyone else is a pigmy). But to each his own. It's not like I'm married to her!

[TJ Starcandy]

9 hours ago, ninaanin said:

 

Thanks  

 

Another thing that caught my attention was when DH looked for JA at the office. How he has a great awareness of her presence (or absence) and of everything related to her. It has been this way since the beginning, but it was in a mild way. However, in episode 8 it took another level, in special, when he saw she wasn't there and when he heard her name. Maybe, it is just to path the credibility of the scandal (because it will have one, I believe, even without JA help), but the effect - to me - is to see a man interested in a woman, even if he doesn't know about it yet.

 

And another on: how he really wants to talk to her, to know about her, but is awkward (a bit shy?) to ask directelly, not sure of how to act. Again food to our delusion, right?

 

My bet is that througout the drama, they will not be aware of what is going on with them, in special DH (I think there is a chance that JA is already aware). The writer and director will keep this play of ambiguity ("with my mouth I say it isn't, with my art I say it is" lol). And if both will be aware about it, or at least utter any word about love between them, it will happen at the end of episode 16 lol. I think  we will get an open end. And, sincerely, I will be ok with it, providing that the writer/director doens't come with something like "they are like siblings/father-daugther" lol. So, maybe we will have an end where those who believe they are just friends will keep believing that, and thse who believe they are in love will keep believing that too lol. 

 

The awkwa-nervousness of DH that seems to only appear around Jian yeah that's always been present. As if he is scared that she will find out a secret about him 

 

Another food in the delusion: DH talks about her more - first to Kihoon and now to Jung Hee. He never talks about YH. 

 

There is no love line coz it has not materialized yet. Both DH and Jian are doing things unconsciously and not aware of their actions. I think Jian already knows but she is too damaged to entertain the idea that someone might actually like her. And I agree they will keep up this ambiguity until the last episodes. I am liking it honestly - bring on the creativity. Anyway, I am so used to American shows where the relationship between leads won't be defined until years later. This whole confusion thing will stop if they will just throw in a birth secret or something...  

[maddymappo]

52 minutes ago, noor1 said:

@maddymappo you're right, viewers are more angry than DH - but it only seems that way. DH is not an expressive guy to say the least and he suffers blows and punches silently. That's why what J-An said to him (how could someone who makes so much money be so bored / disinterested in life?) hit him hard, because it was true. While I don't think it's necessary to know the couple's back story (it's practically written on their faces: the passage of time, routine, disconnect and dissatisfaction with each other), they have been together and married for a long time. DH fulfills his duties and does not like tilting any boats. And he is not the type to throw away what he has built or tried to salvage (like he tells Ji-An, even if all the things you work for are not there for you it still does not matter). But he was hit hard by the betrayal - his wife was trying to get him fired so that he doesn't lose face! He sat and sat and pondered: I mean, an affair, romance, and that too with a boss, junior from college, and he has to endure insults at work where people are trying to get rid of him - not because he is incompetent but, as he finds out, because his wife is having an affair with the boss! But he endures it, like he endures everything else. 

 

If the son is in the U.S. it is because his parents (both of middle class backgrounds) want a better future for their son than they had. People make it sound like it's a crime - but the wife is a lawyer, he works in a structural engineering company, both are busy at work and can afford to spend on foreign schooling. 

 

DH's mother just worries about her sons like all mothers do, none of them is successful - DH is the one with a good job but not as high as his wife's. I personally think YH has personality issues (she has catty / snide remarks for everyone, is generally unhappy and self-absorbed and thinks mighty high of herself as if everyone else is a pigmy). But to each his own. It's not like I'm married to her!

@noor1I agree with much of what you say here, especially about the oppty to send their child to US - learning English language fluently is an advantage in competitive SK. 

What you say about  YH may be true, bad personality, snooty.  But I think it is a cop out for the writer to leave it to us to figure out why their marriage soured. Most writers on this thread, blame YH.  I tend to feel it is her fault too, especially because MIL doesn't like her, and I feel for the mother and her prayers for her 3 sons.    But it's not fair to just leave it to  us to conclude she has faults and read into it so much.  I need to be shown more, examples, given some hint. They married, there mus have been love but perhaps they grew to realize they did not suit each other's temperaments. ( Or, not, and it was something else.)  There is a gap. For goodness sakes we know more about Ki-Hoon and YooRa"s past relationship.  

 

@timidjock0819 wrote:

Quote

There is no love line coz it has not materialized yet. Both DH and Jian are doing things unconsciously and not aware of their actions. I think Jian already knows but she is too damaged to entertain the idea that someone might actually like her. And I agree they will keep up this ambiguity until the last episodes. I am liking it honestly - bring on the creativity. Anyway, I am so used to American shows where the relationship between leads won't be defined until years later. This whole confusion thing will stop if they will just throw in a birth secret or something...  

•  

 

@timidjock0819  Very true. But it is dawning on her that he likes her and she runs to him and worries over him.  This is a delicate  point because she is so hurt and abused in her life = that she needs to be liked and valued for who she is.   She can feel safe with him because as DJy indicates, he would panic if she undressed. This is not a man who will push her sexually.  Especially you have her "boss" going out with her which is a power imbalance.  I know DH would never us it that way and in fact JA seems to be more powerful at times, but still the social world is going to judge them and she can be hurt by that too.

[noor1]

10 hours ago, ninaanin said:

 

Thanks  

 

Another thing that caught my attention was when DH looked for JA at the office. How he has a great awareness of her presence (or absence) and of everything related to her. It has been this way since the beginning, but it was in a mild way. However, in episode 8 it took another level, in special, when he saw she wasn't there and when he heard her name. Maybe, it is just to path the credibility of the scandal (because it will have one, I believe, even without JA help), but the effect - to me - is to see a man interested in a woman, even if he doesn't know about it yet.

 

And another on: how he really wants to talk to her, to know about her, but is awkward (a bit shy?) to ask directelly, not sure of how to act. Again food to our delusion, right?

 

My bet is that througout the drama, they will not be aware of what is going on with them, in special DH (I think there is a chance that JA is already aware). The writer and director will keep this play of ambiguity ("with my mouth I say it isn't, with my art I say it is" lol). And if both will be aware about it, or at least utter any word about love between them, it will happen at the end of episode 16 lol. I think  we will get an open end. And, sincerely, I will be ok with it, providing that the writer/director doens't come with something like "they are like siblings/father-daugther" lol. So, maybe we will have an end where those who believe they are just friends will keep believing that, and thse who believe they are in love will keep believing that too lol. 

Why can't men and women in kdramas be seen as 'people'? Is the need to romanticize and sexualize so great that people feel like they are wasting their time watching a drama unless it has some romance? Why can't there be care, respect or liking without putting it into a box of 'crush / infatuation / friendship / love/ soulmate / father-daughter / siblings' etc.? I think PD of this drama said it the best in the press conference, that people cannot wrap their head around a relationship that doesn't have skinship / sexual relations (or back hugs, ILUs, terminal illnesses, nonsense of that sort). 

 

DH initiates conversations because Ji-An doesn't talk; he is awkward because she is not an open person. He inquires about her because he knows she has a hard life. It's not sensual, sexual or friendly - it's basic human decency! He talks to everyone that way! I would love for them to be sitting together without any distance on a train, but I believe they have a connection only because they are trapped and lonely and miserable. Once things work out for them in their lives, they will be thankful for each other's support / help (even if they don't verbalize it), and move on with their respective lives. 

 

But if 'romantic notions' gets the drama more viewers, what the hell!

[Yana Mujay]

What DH experience in married life is just like many  other married couple going trough is not surprised at all.

The pin point this drama beside all that issue is, how if in hard bored life you found something to treassure of, to search what different life you get when you found your other half.

Does that make you become different person? Does she/he would make you felt completed and at peace  seeing her/his presence. sometime we live just to fullfil our duty toward life itself, no passtion no challenge just follow the flow from the dawn till dask, static,meaningles.such great impretion we have in this drama is the bound between all the cast how to overcome all their dull life become contended in low and high chircumstance, there is still something to excited for.

So even hard let's live fullest give courage to break all the  weariness move forward with excitement.

Jiana event hard let's life with all our utmost and dignity.

2 days to see what DH to do,  when he realize the complexcity politic Jian cause,  seem he get caught in middle of war , that mess is not something easy to solve.

 

 

 

 

[dvdwyn]

in the first few episodes, angel hubby feel discomfort in having meal with young girl.. (he does not want people to misunderstand)

but now he actually hoping to have a meal and drink with her (probably after the confirmation of the cheating wife?)

even saying the "pretty" young girl to the bartender... 

 

perhaps now he thought, "hell my wife is cheating on me on the highest level (affair of the heart and physical), so why should i feel guilty having meal and drinks with other girl?"

 

but why oh why he didnt get mad like crazy but instead hoping to have a meal with other girl? (this probably a hint of prove that he does not really love or care for her anymore)

isnt this not solving the problem? this is making the marriage worse isnt it? he should have a deep talk with her instead... if he really wants to save the marriage... 

 

the other fact that he actually does not want the cheating wife to know also confuse me a bit.. 

how can he expect things to go normal and smoothly after this affair incident? just by keeping quiet and as if nothing happened? hoping the wife learn her mistake and adjust with his life instead?

 

again where is the communication? 

[TJ Starcandy]

40 minutes ago, maddymappo said:

Very true. But it is dawning on her that he likes her and she runs to him and worries over him.  This is a delicate  point because she is so hurt and abused in her life = that she needs to be liked and valued for who she is.   She can feel safe with him because as DJy indicates, he would panic if she undressed. This is not a man who will push her sexually.  Especially you have her "boss" going out with her which is a power imbalance.  I know DH would never us it that way and in fact JA seems to be more powerful at times, but still the social world is going to judge them and she can be hurt by that too.

 

But aren't we all emotionally vulnerable when we are falling for someone? We always run when worried about a person important to us.  In this case, she has the upper hand of running to him coz of the wiretap. She felt a sense of responsibility making sure of his safety. Jian is not the type that will break as DH described her as internally strong. In fact, DH is also equally in danger of falling into that cliff once he finds out about Jian's deception. This might also be his first time to feel this sort of connection too.. That's why their relationship needs to be ambiguous for a while until the story has already been fleshed out and loose ends all tied.  If the plot is heading that way, let the PD and writers tell their story and convince us that this type of relationship is worth it.  Besides, Jian's feelings may not be reciprocated after all by next week. It could be a one sided thing and that's ok too..