[Drama 2018] My Mister, 나의 아저씨 - Best Drama at 2019 (55th) BaekSang Arts Awards

[Raymond]

Rewatching episode 7 the ‘pretty looking girl’ drink carefully, there are moments they did look at each other’s eyes purposely, while drinking not talking, for the 1st time in the drama. That’s totally exclusive for romantic in heart situations, no doubt (unless in confrontation, angry situations). It is the breakthrough of their feelings. The acting of both made this change in feelings so natural.

[Unclouded]

On 10/8/2023 at 11:22 PM, sweetroad said:

That's how I understood it, too - that he really wouldn't be living any kind of daily life with YH and his son for 8 or 9 years. That's probably the saddest part of DH's life, that his son is growing up away from him.

 

I didn't even think of that, it's kinda heart-breaking to realize. It makes the scene with him crying in front of the picture of their family even sadder. 

 

On 7/15/2023 at 11:04 AM, dongans said:

That reminded me of episode 8 from My Liberation Notes, where Mi Jeong (female version of DH) says to Gu that "you can do anything in front of someone that likes you". Park Hae Young thinks about that more than we know... The unpeeling feeling; To be "naked" and raw and vulnerable only in front of someone that you love.

 

Recently, I was thinking about this idea again. Isn't it relieving for people to be known? To be understood? I was curious because at first, DH says that he feels sad that JA understands him ("I'm sad that she knows me"). I'm not sure if that's because he's sad that she has the life experience to grasp his problems, or because he feels ashamed at the way he's living. And then later, he says "It's difficult to be around a person who saw you so vulnerable. And you end up not wanting to see them". And he says "I'm scared becase I feel you know everything without me telling you". And here he avoids even looking at her while he's talking about himself. 

 

But in some ways, his actions kinda contradict that. Cause while he's scared of her seeing through him, he does things that bring them closer together. He doesn't avoid her. I feel like what she provides at that point is a sense of presence. Someone that sees, that understands, and is just willing to be there next to him. Unlike Mi Jeong, DH didn't have a choice in being vulnerable ("I feel like you know without me even telling you"), but he doesn't recoil from it, he starts to feel safe around JA. And in the container scene, it's clear how important 'being known' was to him, that she stayed next to him.

 

On 10/12/2023 at 12:06 AM, Raymond said:

'7. Were Dong-hoon and Ji-an love in My Mister? - How do you define that? Respect, sympathy, p ity, affection, etc. There are complex emotions buried there. The writer himself didn't think it was love, but the director listened carefully to t he writer's story and said, "Then, I will see it as love." It is said that he said.

A good drama does not necessarily have to be i n agreement between the writer and director. I thought it was okay for opinions to differ like th is, and that doing it this way would make viewe rs feel different emotions.'

 

Now clear we are seeing what the director’s impression from the story (plus all other emotions from the written story), and shown us on screen accordingly. It is the very first time, at March 2023, such love line ever reviewed from the production team. Wonder what are the key differences between what is filmed/shown to what is written regarding the love element? Such as 'buy me slippers', 'the monk friend’s advice to DH how to live happily, DH in the car after soccer seeing the love sign then JA at the traffic crossing, and turning back their heads at the end' etc etc?

 

Are there any differences at all? Isn't the director just saying that the combination of all those feelings = love? While the writer's more focused on showing the complexity of the feelings, and avoids concluding them into one type of relationship. This story feels very coherent, it doesn't feel like it was pushed in any one direction (despite all the media interviews about 'no love line' and so on). I think there is as much in the script making romantic hints as there is in the direction. 

 

I've been wondering about the heart sign. Cause he sees the heart from his friend and smiles. And then JA behind him, and he wakes to life. Before that he looks so lifeless, even though he was playing well in the soccer game that just finished, it doesn't seem to mean anything to him. Maybe the heart here is JA bringing him to life, like what CPR would do. And he doesn't want to let go of her presence there, so he keeps looking at her. 

[Raymond]

On 10/14/2023 at 4:00 PM, Unclouded said:

 

Are there any differences at all? Isn't the director just saying that the combination of all those feelings = love? While the writer's more focused on showing the complexity of the feelings, and avoids concluding them into one type of relationship. This story feels very coherent, it doesn't feel like it was pushed in any one direction (despite all the media interviews about 'no love line' and so on). I think there is as much in the script making romantic hints as there is in the direction. 

 

I've been wondering about the heart sign. Cause he sees the heart from his friend and smiles. And then JA behind him, and he wakes to life. Before that he looks so lifeless, even though he was playing well in the soccer game that just finished, it doesn't seem to mean anything to him. Maybe the heart here is JA bringing him to life, like what CPR would do. And he doesn't want to let go of her presence there, so he keeps looking at her. 

Agree fully to your suggestions. But it is the only, and most convincing response from anyone in the production team, in this conference over 4 years after the show, regarding the DH/JA relationship. I can’t recall seeing such honest response in any MM press conference before. Remember they even removed the line, the colour of which represented love, between DH and JA from the original relationship chart, leaving no line between them.

[sweetroad]

On 10/14/2023 at 1:00 AM, Unclouded said:

Recently, I was thinking about this idea again. Isn't it relieving for people to be known? To be understood? I was curious because at first, DH says that he feels sad that JA understands him ("I'm sad that she knows me"). I'm not sure if that's because he's sad that she has the life experience to grasp his problems, or because he feels ashamed at the way he's living. And then later, he says "It's difficult to be around a person who saw you so vulnerable. And you end up not wanting to see them". And he says "I'm scared becase I feel you know everything without me telling you". And here he avoids even looking at her while he's talking about himself. 

 

But in some ways, his actions kinda contradict that. Cause while he's scared of her seeing through him, he does things that bring them closer together. He doesn't avoid her. I feel like what she provides at that point is a sense of presence. Someone that sees, that understands, and is just willing to be there next to him. Unlike Mi Jeong, DH didn't have a choice in being vulnerable ("I feel like you know without me even telling you"), but he doesn't recoil from it, he starts to feel safe around JA. And in the container scene, it's clear how important 'being known' was to him, that she stayed next to him.

 

 

Beautifully said. What you write makes me think of the gradual development of trust between JA and DH, and how they could each slowly accept the other one knowing them so well, episode to episode. For example, as you wrote, at first DH was sad that this girl knew him. But he didn't trust her much yet (with good reason!). However, as he gradually got to know her and trust her (especially after seeing her "goodness" while seeing how she cared for halmeoni), he became more and more OK that she knew him.

 

Likewise, JA looks angry in episode 3(?) when she overhears DH saying that she probably lived a hard life. But the more she gets to know him and gets to trust him, the more OK she is that he knows a lot about her.

 

DH definitely gets to the point where he's grateful JA knew everything about his miserable life, yet stuck by his side. And JA gets to the point where she believes DH is worthy of knowing about her terrible secret, since he then fought for her and defended her. For both of them, their trust in each other grew, and wasn't misplaced as they each felt more comfortable that the other one knew him/her so well - and saw what he/she did with that knowledge.

 

On 10/14/2023 at 1:00 AM, Unclouded said:

I've been wondering about the heart sign. Cause he sees the heart from his friend and smiles. And then JA behind him, and he wakes to life. Before that he looks so lifeless, even though he was playing well in the soccer game that just finished, it doesn't seem to mean anything to him. Maybe the heart here is JA bringing him to life, like what CPR would do. And he doesn't want to let go of her presence there, so he keeps looking at her. 

 

Interesting point about the CPR and JA being the heart! You've seen this take on that scene as well, right? With the guys sleeping in the cars right before he sees JA? It's a slightly different take but the common thing is that JA is someone who'll help revive him. https://givemeslippers.wordpress.com/2018/07/29/dong-hoons-awakening/

 

On 10/16/2023 at 2:27 AM, Raymond said:

But it is the only, and most convincing response from anyone in the production team, in this conference over 4 years after the show, regarding the DH/JA relationship. I can’t recall seeing such honest response in any MM press conference before. Remember they even removed the line, the colour of which represented love, between DH and JA from the original relationship chart, leaving no line between them.

 

Yes - it's so good to hear PHY's answer to this question, and hear how she experienced the discussion between her and KWS. The recap is helpful for me, as now I know I'm not crazy when I see DH and JA being "in love" as one part of the complex emotions developing between them .

[sweetroad]

Some sad news came out today about LSK. https://variety.com/2023/film/news/parasite-star-lee-sun-kyun-drugs-allegation-1235763024/

 

It is a big deal. I'm not sure how realistic this is, but I'm hoping that viewers will still watch MM for the brilliant show that it is, and that this scandal won't taint it too much.

 

Best wishes to LSK and his family. The important thing is that he gets healthy now.

 

 

[Raymond]

5 hours ago, sweetroad said:

Some sad news came out today about LSK. https://variety.com/2023/film/news/parasite-star-lee-sun-kyun-drugs-allegation-1235763024/

 

It is a big deal. I'm not sure how realistic this is, but I'm hoping that viewers will still watch MM for the brilliant show that it is, and that this scandal won't taint it too much.

 

Best wishes to LSK and his family. The important thing is that he gets healthy now.

 

 

Thanks for sharing. Yes if true that’s not too good in Korea. But in western societies drug use (of course no good to health) won’t make any news, not in entertainment industry, nor in normal society, as long as not die by overdose (too many sad examples). True ir not it shouldn’t affect much on appreciation of his on screen performance, hopefully.

On the other hand, selling drugs and sexual abuse will certainly kill the career.

[Unclouded]

6 hours ago, Raymond said:

Thanks for sharing. Yes if true that’s not too good in Korea. But in western societies drug use (of course no good to health) won’t make any news, not in entertainment industry, nor in normal society, as long as not die by overdose (too many sad examples)

 

The press release seems to say marijuana (and not any actually serious drugs). I've always found it kinda hilarious how in k-dramas marijuana is such a big deal, while alcoholism is so casually accepted, and straight-up glorified even. The inconsistency is just silly.

 

On a related topic though one thing I liked a lot about My Mister is that there were multiple scenes where people were worried about DH smoking cigarettes, it seemed like something that was disapproved.

[Raymond]

22 hours ago, Unclouded said:

 

The press release seems to say marijuana (and not any actually serious drugs). I've always found it kinda hilarious how in k-dramas marijuana is such a big deal, while alcoholism is so casually accepted, and straight-up glorified even. The inconsistency is just silly.

 

On a related topic though one thing I liked a lot about My Mister is that there were multiple scenes where people were worried about DH smoking cigarettes, it seemed like something that was disapproved.

I worked for a very small firm once and the owner and his wife smoke 'grass' once in a while. They are just normal kind people (not that I would join them). True alcoholism caused serious problems and kdramas worst offenders promoting it.

In episode 9 DH did smoked briefly outside JH Bar (he asked for a cigarette from his community friend). But he was just spending time there hoping to see JA after the very first time not on the side of JA because of the 'stealing' of the bribe money, then hearing 'one need love to live' talk from JH in the bar. And JA did passed by and ignored him totally. This is one of the complicated emotions moment.

I am reading again this forum starting from page 32 on episode 6. Lots of shippers there. In page 41 there was a press conference mentioned in the middle of the show. Link below (need translation in Chrome).

http://www.hansbiz.co.kr/news/articleView.html?idxno=218588

Seems neither PD, LSK nor IU lied about DH and JA's relationship, just not defining it and leaving it for viewers to appreciate? That's totally correct approach during the middle of the controversy. 

One 'open end' question left by the PD/writer regarding the request of SH to his mum to transfer his life long saving to DH's bank account (for the funeral). How much would SH tell his mum afterwards about the purpose of the money? This is important to know if their mum know anything, or how much, about JA. At that time JA has been in JH's bar for a while. Thinking JA loves DH as early as the bribe money issue, knowing YH's betrayal, and DH needs JA to breathe, also JA made DH a director, the brothers for sure heavy 'shippers', no such thing as agegap.

[Convergence]

hello, im new to My Ajusshi, having only discovered it like 3 weeks ago, but I liked it so much that I have already (re)watched it 3 times and still not over it. I wrote a longer intro post but I chickened out. not sure what else i can contribute to this thread which i partly read the past weeks that probably hasn't seen said a hundred times.

I'm a shipper of course, not sure how that isn't obvious watching the show.

Actually I ship them a bit less after rewatch, but only because I think JA needs more skinship than DH can provide, as evident from the rejected hug, a scene that bothered me.

Edited October 24, 2023 by Convergence

[Raymond]

On 10/25/2023 at 6:41 AM, Convergence said:

hello, im new to My Ajusshi, having only discovered it like 3 weeks ago, but I liked it so much that I have already (re)watched it 3 times and still not over it. I wrote a longer intro post but I chickened out. not sure what else i can contribute to this thread which i partly read the past weeks that probably hasn't seen said a hundred times.

I'm a shipper of course, not sure how that isn't obvious watching the show.

Actually I ship them a bit less after rewatch, but only because I think JA needs more skinship than DH can provide, as evident from the rejected hug, a scene that bothered me.

Welcome indeed! Finally someone watched MM later than me (only this March). Everyone watching MM would have different (no matter how slightly) opinions, so even the veterans here would welcome your comments.

Yes the only ‘skinship’ initiated by DH is the handshake at the very end. And even that would require lots of imagination. Say a young couple, married or not married, met a man (not family nor business related) on the road, and the man initiated a handshake with the pretty young woman and ‘held’ her hand, not moving, for over 30 seconds. What would the young man feel? Or change it around what a wife would think if her husband did such a handshake with a young pretty woman? Or assuming DH/YH are having a normal married relationship, and met JY on the road, and JY did the same handshake with YH. What would DH think? (JY would never dare doing it anyway)

[akhenaten]

Hellllloooooo!!! 

 

Just dropped by after a long time to this forum to say hello to all the people who loved My Mister when it first showed and continue to love it until now, and to those who are just discovering the beauty of this drama for the very first time.  

[Raymond]

On 10/26/2023 at 3:09 PM, akhenaten said:

Hellllloooooo!!! 

 

Just dropped by after a long time to this forum to say hello to all the people who loved My Mister when it first showed and continue to love it until now, and to those who are just discovering the beauty of this drama for the very first time.  

Welcome back! Great to see one of the most valued veteran here again after over 4 years.

[Unclouded]

On 9/5/2023 at 9:18 PM, sweetroad said:

And sometimes I wonder how close DH really is to the ahjussis at JH's bar. They seem to talk a lot to each other, and they definitely know him, but I wonder how much he invests in them as far as being open and vulnerable. He seems to enjoy their company to a point, but it's almost like they're a comfortable shoe that he slips on at the end of the day. He's used to them and to that lifestyle, especially if it means getting away from home... But how much does he actually confide in them? In his more melancholy moments he can be found at the other restobar, not at Jung Hee's.

 

None of them seem to know about his mental health struggles. I think Jung Hee might be the only woman who's deeply involved in DH's life who isn't in the know (his mom, YH, and JA are all aware), which is shocking since she spends so much time around him. I think there's a flashback where YH asks DH 'you call this living?', and basically the only other person who has the same willingness/awareness to confront him similarly is the monk when they meet.

 

On 10/12/2023 at 12:06 AM, Raymond said:

Were Dong-hoon and Ji-an love in My Mister? - How do you define that? Respect, sympathy, pity, affection, etc. There are complex emotions buried there. The writer himself didn't think it was love, but the director listened carefully to the writer's story and said, "Then, I will see it as love." It is said that he said.

A good drama does not necessarily have to be in agreement between the writer and director. I thought it was okay for opinions to differ like this, and that doing it this way would make viewers feel different emotions.'

 

Respect, sympathy, pity, affection - that seems like the exact order of emotions that comes here for JA (with DH pity comes first). JA starts to respect and sympathize with DH when she overhears him defending his brother, she pities him when she sees the way he's treated at work, and then she feels affection for him when she decides to run after him. DH pities her first, and then starts to respect and sympathize with JA when he sees her taking care of her grandmother - affection comes afterward. Another emotion here is gratefulness - DH for the bribe getting thrown away, JA for the help taking care of her grandma.

 

On 10/21/2023 at 1:16 AM, Raymond said:

I worked for a very small firm once and the owner and his wife smoke 'grass' once in a while. They are just normal kind people (not that I would join them). True alcoholism caused serious problems and kdramas worst offenders promoting it.

 

This whole situation made me think a bit more about alcohol and its role in this story. I got one of my closest friends to also watch this show, and the first thing he pointed out was so many of the characters being raging alcoholics. I do think that My Mister has something meaningful to say about the role of alcohol in society. It's not just YH who suffers from her husband not being with her because he's drinking everyday, it's all the wives of the soccer club members (they report them to the cops over their drinking and driving). It's kinda wild that the community here is literally a bar. JA doesn't ever meet the people in DH's life who aren't alcoholics (his mom, SIL, and the monk).

 

But I did think that My Liberation Notes would've been better if Mr. Gu had some other problem other than alcoholism, there were so many alarm bells for me with his character.

 

I think My Mister is probably more vulnerable than other shows to having a lead actor with legal issues, because so much of the story relies on DH's character being ultra-moral, this unrealistically decent guy. And deep down you always know that an actor has their separate life and isn't the person on screen, but it's one thing to be vaguely aware of that, and another thing to have an actor be criticized very publicly.

[sweetroad]

 

On 10/20/2023 at 6:06 PM, Raymond said:

Yes if true that’s not too good in Korea. But in western societies drug use (of course no good to health) won’t make any news, not in entertainment industry, nor in normal society, as long as not die by overdose (too many sad examples). True ir not it shouldn’t affect much on appreciation of his on screen performance, hopefully.

 

On 10/21/2023 at 12:40 AM, Unclouded said:

The press release seems to say marijuana (and not any actually serious drugs). I've always found it kinda hilarious how in k-dramas marijuana is such a big deal, while alcoholism is so casually accepted, and straight-up glorified even. The inconsistency is just silly.

 

Yup. I get that drug use in Korea is a criminal offense, and that LSK will need to pay the consequences of that according to the law. But it is sad that his whole career seems affected now and there's talk of him having a very difficult time coming back to acting in the future. Lotte Entertainment even refused to put "Parasite" onto their display celebrating Bong Joon-ho's movies because of LSK's scandal, which seems like such an overreaction. I think Korea is on one end of not being able to separate actors' personal lives from their work, whereas Hollywood is probably too laissez-faire about it. In general, some cultures view their stars as needing to be moral exemplars, and other cultures focus on their stars' talent and performances regardless of their moral failures (unless they're accused of sexual harassment).

 

And @Unclouded you bring up a good point - alcoholism is widely accepted in Korea, and people seem to drink so frequently that hangover restaurants are a thing. Both drugs and alcohol affect people dangerously. I'd rather not have LSK be a big drinker or a drug consumer, but his career is being cancelled for the latter and it wasn't affected at all by the former.

 

What makes me the most sad is that LSK and Jeon Hye-jin sent their 2nd son to the US to study, to keep him away from the shame and negative attention that the family was receiving. He joined his older brother who was already studying there. My heart breaks for their son who was unexpectedly sent away at a time when he probably needed to be with his parents most. The situation reminds me of MM and how there were no kids at home.

 

Anyway. In the end it's not our circus, not our monkeys. But the whole situation is sad.

 

On 10/21/2023 at 1:16 AM, Raymond said:

How much would SH tell his mum afterwards about the purpose of the money? This is important to know if their mum know anything, or how much, about JA. At that time JA has been in JH's bar for a while.

 

Such a good question! I've wondered that as well - with Sang Hoon and Ki Hoon living at home, wouldn't they tell their mom that their friend's grandma had died and they were going to her funeral? Momma Park knows everyone in town so she would have wanted to know who died and if it was someone she knew.

 

And with Momma Park cleaning Jung Hee's bar for her on a daily basis, wouldn't she have run into JA there? I don't think Jung Hee could have kept JA a secret from Momma Park for very long (like she did on JA's very first morning waking up there). In my imagination Momma Park would have heard about JA in conversation, and seen her around, perhaps probably meeting her officially one afternoon at JH's bar. I wonder how their relationship would've been.

 

On 10/24/2023 at 3:41 PM, Convergence said:

hello, im new to My Ajusshi, having only discovered it like 3 weeks ago, but I liked it so much that I have already (re)watched it 3 times and still not over it. I wrote a longer intro post but I chickened out. not sure what else i can contribute to this thread which i partly read the past weeks that probably hasn't seen said a hundred times.

 

Welcome @Convergence! We'd all love to hear your thoughts! That's amazing you've watched MM 4 times in 3 weeks! There's always so much good stuff to discover that we'd love to hear what you're noticing and what your favorite scenes are.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[sweetroad]

On 10/31/2023 at 12:13 AM, Unclouded said:

Respect, sympathy, pity, affection - that seems like the exact order of emotions that comes here for JA (with DH pity comes first). JA starts to respect and sympathize with DH when she overhears him defending his brother, she pities him when she sees the way he's treated at work, and then she feels affection for him when she decides to run after him. DH pities her first, and then starts to respect and sympathize with JA when he sees her taking care of her grandmother - affection comes afterward. Another emotion here is gratefulness - DH for the bribe getting thrown away, JA for the help taking care of her grandma.

 

Love this, by the way. JA definitely starts from a place of disrespect and mocking toward DH (sometimes even disgust and anger), and respect is the first positive emotion she has for him. It's neat to see the "movement" of her attitudes toward DH mirrored in PHY's description.

[Unclouded]

On 11/1/2023 at 11:48 AM, sweetroad said:

And with Momma Park cleaning Jung Hee's bar for her on a daily basis, wouldn't she have run into JA there? I don't think Jung Hee could have kept JA a secret from Momma Park for very long (like she did on JA's very first morning waking up there). In my imagination Momma Park would have heard about JA in conversation, and seen her around, perhaps probably meeting her officially one afternoon at JH's bar. I wonder how their relationship would've been.

 

I wonder if she just stayed away from the bar for a bit after hearing Jung Hee's excuse, to give her more space.

 

On 11/1/2023 at 8:37 PM, sweetroad said:

It's neat to see the "movement" of her attitudes toward DH mirrored in PHY's description.

 

I was thinking of worry a lot here (though not said by PHY), it seemed like the main emotion involved in a lot of the scenes we think indicate 'love'. DH worries about JA missing her stop, and stays nearby to see her arrive. JA worries about DH when she hears him fall near the railway tracks, and sees him at the bridge. Maybe worry is a greater feeling here, because it's shown like a stronger version of pity or sympathy. It's more than just feeling sad for someone, they think of each other as important. Worry relates to care - DH's biggest show of affection for his wife is always asking to buy groceries for her.

 

I've been wondering recently about the speech DH gives about 'the things that make you you'. To me it seems to relate to why JA had to move to Busan, that she couldn't just be someone reliant on DH without ever having explored herself elsewhere. And it shows why DH has to break up with his wife, that he has to find a new way to live, a new set of anchors after his first set breaks down. Because just living just one way (the family man, the loyal friend/subordinate) makes you vulnerable when anything goes wrong with that identity. And maybe PHY is trying to say that people have to find some kind of internal strength that other relationships can build from, that keep them going when they're just by themselves.

[Raymond]

On 11/3/2023 at 7:14 PM, Unclouded said:

 

I wonder if she just stayed away from the bar for a bit after hearing Jung Hee's excuse, to give her more space.

 

 

I was thinking of worry a lot here (though not said by PHY), it seemed like the main emotion involved in a lot of the scenes we think indicate 'love'. DH worries about JA missing her stop, and stays nearby to see her arrive. JA worries about DH when she hears him fall near the railway tracks, and sees him at the bridge. Maybe worry is a greater feeling here, because it's shown like a stronger version of pity or sympathy. It's more than just feeling sad for someone, they think of each other as important. Worry relates to care - DH's biggest show of affection for his wife is always asking to buy groceries for her.

 

I've been wondering recently about the speech DH gives about 'the things that make you you'. To me it seems to relate to why JA had to move to Busan, that she couldn't just be someone reliant on DH without ever having explored herself elsewhere. And it shows why DH has to break up with his wife, that he has to find a new way to live, a new set of anchors after his first set breaks down. Because just living just one way (the family man, the loyal friend/subordinate) makes you vulnerable when anything goes wrong with that identity. And maybe PHY is trying to say that people have to find some kind of internal strength that other relationships can build from, that keep them going when they're just by themselves.

 

Trust this is the first piece of good news for LSK:

https://m.timesofindia.com/web-series/news/korean/actor-lee-sun-kyuns-recent-drug-allegations-disproved-as-hair-sample-test-returns-negative-results/articleshow/104969516.cms

 

Great foresight from Soompi fans as early as episode 10:

Page 64

maddymappo   i guess the likelihood or not of that happening will be unfolding.  YH could end up going to the United States to be with their son.  Another convenient plot scenario for DH/Jian.  (eactly what happened at the end)
Page 65 starcandy:
the ending needs to be all or nothing.

All: a new beginning for Jian and DH, new family, friends, and community

Nothing: One sided love. Part ways with DH and Jian living life in her own terms

(Even 1 step better than the ALL ending with Park families, exostibg friends and community all welcoming JA in open arms).

Yes the year spent in Busan is essential for JA to be on equal footing to DH for a brand new beginning. This is unlike many other kdramas separation between main leads near the end so unnecessary.

[Convergence]

On 10/25/2023 at 11:54 PM, Raymond said:

Welcome indeed! Finally someone watched MM later than me (only this March). Everyone watching MM would have different (no matter how slightly) opinions, so even the veterans here would welcome your comments.

Yes the only ‘skinship’ initiated by DH is the handshake at the very end. And even that would require lots of imagination. Say a young couple, married or not married, met a man (not family nor business related) on the road, and the man initiated a handshake with the pretty young woman and ‘held’ her hand, not moving, for over 30 seconds. What would the young man feel? Or change it around what a wife would think if her husband did such a handshake with a young pretty woman? Or assuming DH/YH are having a normal married relationship, and met JY on the road, and JY did the same handshake with YH. What would DH think? (JY would never dare doing it anyway)

Thank you! Its only because I started watching kdramas this fall, My Ajusshi being one of the first recommended online.

 

Personally I like to imagine the timeskip never happened (an overused plot device in kdramas I hear) as I find it unrealistic for them to voluntarily and completely cut contact after such an emotionally intense, and crescendoing 'courtship'; but it is canon, so to answer your question. The third party to that handshake would definitely wonder what was between them. 

 

I just think the creators chose to have them have no contact during the timeskip just to be able to make the last scene more poignant, it is more poignant to have a character ask dramatically "When did you return to Seoul" instead of them saying "Oh, yeah, I remember your text from a few weeks ago, that you'll return".

 

As a fresh shipper with blue balls, having read the fact that there was controversy around the initial reveal of My Ajusshi, and possibly also controversy around the kiss in ep3, likely resulting in edits to the final half of the script, i wonder what the initial draft might have been.

Edited November 5, 2023 by Convergence
edits

[Raymond]

On 11/5/2023 at 10:15 PM, Convergence said:

Thank you! Its only because I started watching kdramas this fall, My Ajusshi being one of the first recommended online.

 

Personally I like to imagine the timeskip never happened (an overused plot device in kdramas I hear) as I find it unrealistic for them to voluntarily and completely cut contact after such an emotionally intense, and crescendoing 'courtship'; but it is canon, so to answer your question. The third party to that handshake would definitely wonder what was between them. 

 

I just think the creators chose to have them have no contact during the timeskip just to be able to make the last scene more poignant, it is more poignant to have a character ask dramatically "When did you return to Seoul" instead of them saying "Oh, yeah, I remember your text from a few weeks ago, that you'll return".

 

As a fresh shipper with blue balls, having read the fact that there was controversy around the initial reveal of My Ajusshi, and possibly also controversy around the kiss in ep3, likely resulting in edits to the final half of the script, i wonder what the initial draft might have been.

DH seems to need physical presence of JA to be happy and phone call not much meaningful to him?

The only 'self censor' by PD/writer I can imagine is DH's speech to JA at the place of the janitor after finding her. I don't feel 'knowing someone would accept whatever that someone do' make any sense. He certainly knows both JY and YH very well and no way he would accept what they did. The original script might be 'loving' rather than 'knowing' make more sense linke many already suggested. And if there is no controversy at all, with a forced kiss in the beginning, there should be a genuine kiss at the end to close the story arc, just like the rejected hug and real hug, and also  what happened at the end of BJ Diary.

[Unclouded]

On 11/5/2023 at 6:15 AM, Convergence said:

Personally I like to imagine the timeskip never happened (an overused plot device in kdramas I hear) as I find it unrealistic for them to voluntarily and completely cut contact after such an emotionally intense, and crescendoing 'courtship'; but it is canon, so to answer your question. The third party to that handshake would definitely wonder what was between them. 

 

I just think the creators chose to have them have no contact during the timeskip just to be able to make the last scene more poignant, it is more poignant to have a character ask dramatically "When did you return to Seoul" instead of them saying "Oh, yeah, I remember your text from a few weeks ago, that you'll return".

 

I wonder if it's meant to mirror the way the monk left the neighbourhood. DH says in ep 8: "The entire neighbourhood was in shock... he said he wanted to try becoming a person who had nothing". When JA leaves, the people in the neighbourhood are all surprised, and they ask her if she needs to go so far. But more than that, at that point she's lost her grandma, and by (temporarily) cutting ties with DH, she gets to experience what it's like to have nothing, to have nobody. To see what remains after. DH starts to experience this as well when he finds himself alone at his apartment after his wife leaves. And after experiencing this, we see JA teaching others (about sign language) just like how the monk guides others.

 

What the monk is saying as Jung Hee comes to see him is important: "People think that outside things cause discord in their hearts and that outside things fill their hearts with joy... one sees the things that one sees within oneself in the outside world... humans are bound to see things they desire. They end up searching for the things they want to see within themselves in the outside world."

 

When JA gets beat up by the loan shark, she plays DH's voice telling her that she's a good person, over and over. Similarly, DH is comforted when JA texts him 'it's not a big deal'. Eventually, JA and DH will be able to say these things directly to themselves. In this relationship, where they pity themselves and each other, being able to relieve their self-pity opens up a different way of being with each other. To be happy with others, you have to be happy with yourself, right?