[Drama 2018] My Mister, 나의 아저씨 - Best Drama at 2019 (55th) BaekSang Arts Awards

[YukawaCattle]

銝祈剜

[actionscript]

On 1/16/2022 at 9:29 PM, the_sweetroad said:

This is what I wrote, in case anyone wants to riff off it and report the problem himself/herself as well. You go to your Account, then Viewing Activity, then find My Mister: Episode 16. On the side there's a link for "Report a Problem." I think you have to report the problem for the specific episode.

 

"Episode 16. At the 1:25:54 - 1:25:56 mark, the subtitle says "My son and my wife," which has caused confusion for many, many Netflix viewers of this beautiful show. The subtitle should in fact say, "My kid and his mother," instead of "My son and my wife." (I.e. change "wife" to "his mother"). Dong Hoon clearly says "ae omma" (애엄마) in this scene, not "wife" (집사람).

 

Can you please consider updating this inaccurate translation to reflect a correct translation? Thank you!"

 

Thank you for this! 

 

One can also report a problem directly while watching ep 16. There's a "?" icon on the bar at the bottom of the screen. You can click on that and there will be a menu of problems listed, one of which is "Subtitles or caption problems." I clicked on that and wrote the details as provided by @the_sweetroad above. 

 

This is not the very first time I have reported a problem. I watched "My Love from the Star" on Netflix around June 2020. I have finished it before finding out from another platform that each episode carried epilogues which Netflix's version didn't have!! So I reported the problem then. I haven't checked again until today, and yes, the epilogues are now added!

 

I'm not sure when they've put in the epilogues, but of course I'd like to think my reporting it contributed to their taking action. 

 

 

 

If you check out My Mister's entry in Wikipedia, it has the following synopsis:

 

Synopsis[edit]

My Mister tells the story of an impoverished and debt-laden young woman (IU) struggling to stay afloat as she nurses her deaf, sick grandmother and working a temporary job. She develops a platonic relationship with one of her equally miserable supervisors (Lee Sun-kyun), which is subjected to scrutiny and manipulation by their colleagues, friends, and dysfunctional families. Enduring the weight of their respective lives, they come together, forming new relationships, keeping parts of themselves secret — but ultimately healing one another's past scars.

 

Bold and italics are mine. I just changed "platonic relationship" to "strong bond." Do you guys agree or have any other suggestions? 

[sweetroad]

9 hours ago, Thomas Zhang said:

The second one is in EP9,  JA at YH's office, told YH that DH has already known her infidelity. 

 

(At that time, DH estranges JA because of the call from the loanshark)

 

From what kind of motivation JA would do that?

 

According to the first question, JA knows that DH doesn't want YH to know.

 

 JA’s behavior is a directly consequence of DH&YH ‘s marriage's breakdown —— It is her who let DH knows the infidelity.  It is also her who let YH knows that DH knows.

 

What even strange is ， YH considers that JA wants her to go back to DH.

 

5 hours ago, YukawaCattle said:

I think she's choosing between "Let YH know the truth" and "Protect DH's promotion."
In the end, she chose the latter one.
After all, as long as YH doesn't tell DH she already knows, it's basically fine.
But if JA is forced back by YH at this moment, she can't protect DH anymore.

 

Yes, I agree with @YukawaCattle that JA ends up telling YH that Dong Hoon knows about the affair, because she's trying to protect Dong Hoon's promotion. The context of this conversation is the following:

 

15 hours ago, the_sweetroad said:

Ji An and Yoon Hee meet at the Minette.

 

Yoon Hee: The money Joon Young said he would give you, I’ll give it to you. Just quietly quit your job at that company. I can make sure Joon Young won’t find you.

 

Ji An: Then Do Joon Young will find someone else to get Park Dong Hoon fired.

 

Yoon Hee: He can get fired. Even if I wasn’t a problem, once he was nominated for managing director, they would have fought it out, and one of them would have been fired. Whoever wins or not, let it happen, and you stay out of it. Structural engineers can get fired, but they won’t have any trouble making a living.

 

Ji An: So you’re thinking about staying with him.

 

Yoon Hee: Whether we stay together or not, it’s not your concern, so you just quietly disappear. It’s unpleasant. That someone knows about my embarrassment is unpleasant and that you are working at the same company as Dong Hoon is also unpleasant. (She goes on to say, "You recorded something like that and played it for me to hear? What couldn’t you do? The things you do are so ignorant and scary.")

 

This dialogue happens immediately before Ji An tells Yoon Hee that DH knows. Yoon Hee is trying to make Ji An quit. She offers to pay the same amount of money as DJY so that Ji An will quit quietly. She's uncomfortable that someone that knows about the affair is working so closely with Dong Hoon.

 

Ji An calculates, then says, "Ahjumma, you're scared that I'm going to tell Dong Hoon about your affair" (paraphrase). "He already knows. He knows it all."

 

So Ji An understood that what Yoon Hee really didn't want was for Ji An to tell Dong Hoon about the affair, that's why YH wanted JA to quit. Getting to the heart of that reason, Ji An just tells YH anyway that DH knows.

 

Even though JA knew that DH didn't want YH to know he knew , JA also didn't want to get pushed out of her job because of YH's fear that JA would tell DH. She needed to stay in the company to make sure DH would get his promotion. After all, Yoon Hee had just said she didn't care who got fired, whether it was DH or DJY. (Bad Yoon Hee! Bad!)

 

Ji An knew someone needed to be FOR Dong Hoon at Saman. She's a smart cookie!

[Thomas Zhang]

16 minutes ago, the_sweetroad said:

Yoon Hee is trying to make Ji An quit. She offers to pay the same amount of money as DJY so that Ji An will quit quietly. She's uncomfortable that someone that knows about the affair is working so closely with Dong Hoon.

 

 Now I can get it.

 

As DH's wife it is shameless that YH said "let it happen".  YH‘s neutrality is such a betrayal to DH.

 

I can't believe anyone would think they'd get back together.

 

[sweetroad]

9 hours ago, YukawaCattle said:

That is to say, the writer suggested to us that the two of them were still not compatible in personality until the end.
So to me, one of the reasons why it would be unreasonable if they were not divorced, is that the two would definitely go back to their old ways and argue again.

 

Totally agree.

 

9 hours ago, YukawaCattle said:

The translation of this dialogue on Netflix is "Come in to help us" in Chinese.
So I didn't notice that the real dialogue is "live with us." 
I think this is a really important detail.
Thanks for mentioning this dialogue.

 

The English subtitle on Netflix also says, "Come help us." Logically, though, it doesn't make sense that omma would slap Ki Hoon and say, "What are you saying?!" Obviously Ki Hoon was saying something drastic, otherwise omma wouldn't have reacted the way she did.

 

9 hours ago, YukawaCattle said:

So it was she who would take the initiative to talk about divorce first, not DH.

 

Yes, I think that when she asked for beer at the end of Ep 16 she was going to tell him she wanted to leave for the US to give him some space. And I do think ultimately it was DH who said "Let's get a divorce" and freed them both, after I looked at the divorce law structure in Korea. The fact that they're still on good terms after the time skip means that they divorced amicably (by divorce agreement) rather than in a hostile way (as it might have been if DH had to take her to trial). That would be my assumption. Seems like a win-win for everyone!

 

9 hours ago, actionscript said:

And it dawned on me now that even the expenses for halmoeni’s funeral was courtesy of Sang Hoon, to keep the slate clean when it comes to DH extending any financial help.

 

Great point! JA is never indebted to DH for money.

 

Something I just thought of:

DH fought for her against Kwang Il, but she also fought for DH against Kwang Il (wallet).

DH confronted DJY over JA, and JA also staved off DJY's schemes, protected DH, and confronted DJY over DH.

DH defended her at a panel interview, and she also defended DH at a panel interview.

DH told JA about help for halmeoni and helped halmeoni get to the nursing home....and JA helped YH get free from her marriage.....?

 

Maybe the last example isn't that valid.

 

BUT DH and JA are both indebted to each other, AND have repaid each other in multiple ways....in the ways they knew best and were resourced to do. And neither of them is indebted financially to the other....because JA would never have been able to pay back DH.

 

6 hours ago, YukawaCattle said:

He seemed to be in the restaurant whenever he missed her.
We can also see such a case in EP15.

 

I had forgotten about Ep 15 and added it to the post on the previous page! And of course, there's a couple at the restaurant in Ep 15!!

 

 

So the only time DH and JA are there without any other couples there is Episode 16 when they say farewell. The restaurant is now their own intimate place, and there are candles prominently shown in the frames.

 

9 hours ago, actionscript said:

I think worth mentioning also about the photos in his new desk is the fact that he now has a photo of him with his brothers. I actually kind of see the arrangement of the photos like frames of a cartoon show – DH used to be with YH and Ji Seok, and then he jumped over and is now with his brothers. LOL! That is significant because he never had that photo before in his desks or at home. So with YH leaving, it is a representation of him taking Ki hoon’s offer to move back in with them, not physically, but mentally.

 

Also, one of YH’s complaint was DH considering his omma and his brothers as still his primary family. So if they have reconciled, why would he put a photo of him with his brothers that he knew would antagonize YH?

 

Thanks for the reminder! Will add this in to the reference list!

 

By the way, everyone, the dialogue in the list is verbatim from Viki, so feel free to quote it, extract it, etc. as you need to. I put my commentary in blue so it can be easily removed....so feel free to grab whatever you need from the list and use it wherever else when folks are asking whether DH and YH divorced .

 

9 hours ago, actionscript said:

Just additional thoughts not about your list, but something I’ve been wanting to say that many people have looked over. For a man, seeing your wife sleep with a stranger is bad enough. The first impulse you’d have is to go beat the crap out of that man, or do something worse. But instead of being able to do that, that man instead gets every chance he got to mock you and bully you at work! And still you have to bow down to that man because he is the boss! That’s unspeakable hell!! It’s like that man mocking and spitting directly to your face – I’m getting my way with your wife, and to top it off, I’m getting my way with you at work! 

 

There is no exaggeration when DH said it all felt like YH wanted him dead. I have friends ask me if that is what a man really feels when cheated upon. I’d say probably not. For me it’s not just about YH’s infidelity, it was the entire picture I described above that aggravated the situation.

 

To have people still think such a scenario is salvageable is beyond me. But that’s because the show had made the gravity of the entire situation subtle, and shown in little snippets scattered throughout the show. In the same way it treated the love line between JA and DH – subtle and in little snippets scattered around, causing many to miss it.

 

Oooh, thanks for this perspective. Yes, DJY would have been a complete bane on DH's existence, every day, all day, especially in hierarchical Korea! I will add this to the list, too, as commentary.

 

18 minutes ago, Thomas Zhang said:

Now I can get it.

 

As DH's wife it is shameless that YH said "let it happen".  YH‘s neutrality is such a betrayal to DH.

 

Good point - her neutrality is inappropriate because of her position as DH's wife! She is shameless here. Her repentance in Ep 11 - 16 is hopefully about all of this stuff - the affair and her attitude toward her own husband.

[YukawaCattle]

銝祈剜

[Thomas Zhang]

12 hours ago, YukawaCattle said:

"And neither of them is indebted financially to the other....because JA would never have been able to pay back DH."
Oh yes!
This is a great point!
The writer will make sure they always have a high synchronization rate when helping each other.

I and my friends are always bothered by the scene that JA leaving to Busan and then the couple don't contact each other.

 

When I read the quote I suddenly have a thought.

 

After the funeral , JA said to SH that she want to pay back in the future.

 

But at that time JA was facing many problems. 

 

She doesn't have any diploma or certificate according to her resume. So she always do some labor part-time job.

 

She is very lucky that DH pick-up her to be the temporary staff.

 

Now she is facing a trial. She does get PDW‘s forgive but it is still a crime. I don't know what will happen in Korea. As far as I know in China，she may get a probation which means she doesn't have to get into the jail, but she does have a criminal record which will led her hardly to find a decent job.

 

So what I conclude is, for JA is a wisdom and calm woman, she knows that the job opportunity of Busan is very valuable.

 

By joining the company of Chairman's friend, she can earn a decent salary.  She can get chances to learn skill or get some certificates. She can be more equal with DH in the economy or other aspects.

She can "pay back“.

 

And what all we have seen at the end is , she says that she wants to buy her Ahjussi a meal, something delicious.

Edited January 19, 2022 by Thomas Zhang

[Sleepy Owl]

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[YukawaCattle]

銝祈剜

[actionscript]

19 hours ago, YukawaCattle said:

[1] Contribution from Soompi user @popai5

 

Ohh it’s nice to know I’m not the only one who noticed the neck stares! 

 

16 hours ago, the_sweetroad said:

Great point! JA is never indebted to DH for money.

 

BUT DH and JA are both indebted to each other, AND have repaid each other in multiple ways....in the ways they knew best and were resourced to do. And neither of them is indebted financially to the other....because JA would never have been able to pay back DH.

 

The extent of the sacrifices each has done for the other is just so beautiful.

 

SH sacrificing his life-savings for JA was an indirect way to show his appreciation and gratitude, an indirect payback, to DH for all he has done for him, KH, and omma financially and otherwise; for DH taking on the eldest son’s role in the family on his behalf. And coursing it through JA was his tacit acknowledgement of her importance in the life of DH, perhaps a reflection of his change of stance with regards to DH and YH’s marriage and his view on JA.  It is his way of giving his blessing for the two, in the same manner all the other characters have given theirs in different ways – Ki Hoon, Gwang Il, Jung Hee, the janitor guardian, Ki Bum, and even Yung Hee.

 

10 hours ago, YukawaCattle said:

By the way, I am curious about why some people will recognize DH and JA as a platonic relationship.

Because JA always wants to hug DH, and DH wants to hold her hands.

I think it does not satisfy the definition of a platonic relationship.

 

Here’s a quick draft of the differences I see between the views of shippers vs non-shippers. Just typing these on top of my head so I’d refine them further.

 

Non-shippers	Shippers
DH just never sees JA “that way,” that's why he refuses her hugs, doesn't reply to her texts, and was avoiding her at Jung Hee's bar.	DH has developed romantic interests, but due to his marital status and work relationship with JA, was rightfully restraining himself and setting the boundaries with JA
DH’s character is a constant – how he is at the beginning of the show (passive, self-sacrificing, overly-righteous) remained constant throughout the show. This show is about JA’s journey of healing and empowerment.	DH’s character has his own transformative journey to traverse: -          His lifelong sentence of earnestness -          His always choosing righteousness over desire -          His always helping others except himself -          His propensity for sacrificing himself against choosing happiness for himself
Top reason for DH not having romantic interest in JA: the age gap and his sense of righteousness not to go after a younger woman	Top reasons for DH not going after JA: 1.       His marital status 2.       His work relationship with JA Both of these roadblocks were resolved post time skip. The fact that the show did resolve these roadblocks implies that it intended to set the stage up for a possible romantic relationship between the two
JA’s unrequited love for DH resolved itself after she got to explore the world	Despite JA’s unrequited love for most part of the show, she did get her happy, fairy tale ending
This is not a romantic love story	This is not your traditional romantic love story, as the romance between DH and JA was implied to happen only after the timeline shown in the story

 

[YukawaCattle]

銝祈剜

[sweetroad]

1 hour ago, actionscript said:

SH sacrificing his life-savings for JA was an indirect way to show his appreciation and gratitude, an indirect payback, to DH for all he has done for him, KH, and omma financially and otherwise; for DH taking on the eldest son’s role in the family on his behalf. And coursing it through JA was his tacit acknowledgement of her importance in the life of DH, perhaps a reflection of his change of stance with regards to DH and YH’s marriage and his view on JA.  It is his way of giving his blessing for the two, in the same manner all the other characters have given theirs in different ways – Ki Hoon, Gwang Il, Jung Hee, the janitor guardian, Ki Bum, and even Yung Hee.

 

Whoa!! Great point about Sang Hoon! His thankfulness toward Dong Hoon, his acceptance of Ji An all coming together in the very important moment of grandma's funeral. Yes!

 

1 hour ago, actionscript said:

Here’s a quick draft of the differences I see between the views of shippers vs non-shippers. Just typing these on top of my head so I’d refine them further.

 

Great organization and comparison. Thanks for laying these out. It strikes me that in the left-hand column there are more assumptions being made about DH. Or does your objective self also think we shippers make many assumptions?

 

And the "strong bond" edit for Wikipedia is excellent! Thanks for doing that!

 

20 hours ago, YukawaCattle said:

If the audience carefully analyzes the above two scenes, people will find the following common points:

 

(1) JA's body is close enough to DH's.

(2) DH will hold something at the ending of this scene. (subway: handrail, kiss: JA's wrist)

 

 

Oooh, thanks for catching these hand scenes! I missed them when I was writing the Hands post, but you're right - once again DH's hands are communicating intense emotion.

 

5 hours ago, Thomas Zhang said:

So what I conclude is, for JA is a wisdom and calm woman, she knows that the job opportunity of Busan is very valuable.

 

By joining the company of Chairman's friend, she can earn a decent salary.  She can get chances to learn skill or get some certificates. She can be more equal with DH in economy or other aspects.

She can "pay back“.

 

It always bothered me, too, that they lost touch during the time skip. It drove me crazy, in fact! That was the reason I started writing the fanfic, so I could elaborate reasonable/ plausible reasons that they would not contact each other.

 

I had a lot of the same thoughts as you - that JA would want to give DH some space and try to find her own way to be happy.

 

(

@actionscript I promise this is NOT another hint. )

 

[Thomas Zhang]

2 hours ago, actionscript said:

By the way, I am curious about why some people will recognize DH and JA as a platonic relationship.

Because JA always wants to hug DH, and DH wants to hold her hands.

I think it does not satisfy the definition of a platonic relationship.

I think the reason  some people deny the relationship is that:

 

1. They are just too young to understand word-less love.  They want explicit evidence such as "I love you". However, words are cheap and could deceive others. But the expression, gesture, emotion never tell a lie. I don't believe PDH wandering around JH's bar with a cigarette he never smoked is just because he had nothing to do.

 

2. They could not accept the age-gap relationship themselves and even do not allow others to have this feeling.

 

3. Many people from the East-Asia (esp. in China & Korea) are influenced by Confucianism. They prefer to restrict themselves' emotions. They prefer to talk about abstract morality instead of real feeling for specific people.

 

4. Many people even don't watch this drama carefully. They just get a glance. Many of them watched it fast-forward.  Many of them just watched clips instead of the whole drama.

Edited January 19, 2022 by Thomas Zhang

[YukawaCattle]

銝祈剜

[sweetroad]

2 hours ago, YukawaCattle said:

As we mentioned earlier, red and blue always show up in MM's pictures, like the following examples.

 

Showing all of these scenes and your breakdown of them was so brilliant!! Thank you!! It's great to see all the scenes here, and to be able to compare the blue/ red/ yellow hues.

 

2 hours ago, YukawaCattle said:

DH stood in front of the blue house at first. He was so annoyed that JA ignored him, but he was basically calm.

 

But when he heard that JA loved him, he started to run away.
After saying, "Go home. Why are you wandering around," his mood is very flustered, and the picture has been red until the end.

 

The scene where DH left with his bag after beating JA was the brightest, indicating that his emotions had reached the maximum at this moment.

 

 

WOW....!!! Yes! And the hue is quite "warm" (red) at the end of the scene as well. Great insights!

 

2 hours ago, YukawaCattle said:

But when he took it down, it meant that he was now a "human being" called Park Dong-hoon, and all his joys, sorrows, will directly show up without disguise.

 

I think this interpretation is basically correct. 
We can see from EP4, he directly hit the wall with a hammer, and EP9, he fought with KI, these two scenes, his bag was directly thrown to the ground.

But before he did these things, he still could talk well, and the bag was all hanging on his shoulders.

 

So I guess when the moment JA completely pulled DH's bag down, it means that he is not using the social packaging of a boss or a colleague  to face JA anymore, but a "human being" called "Park Dong-hoon." 

That's why we see that he was so disturbing in this picture.

Because he couldn't disguise his true emotions, thoughts at this moment.

 

 

Also a great insight! I had just thought that his bag related to the burden of his Department Head position (since the bag disappeared after he got promoted to Managing Director)...but it makes a lot of sense that when his bag drops on the ground that he becomes a regular human with regular emotions.

[sadiesmith]

11 hours ago, actionscript said:

Ohh it’s nice to know I’m not the only one who noticed the neck stares! 

 

Hardly! Have you not come across this post on GMS? 

https://givemeslippers.wordpress.com/2018/07/24/gif-ahjussis-longing-looks/

[Pixaiated]

For me, I think that there are two quotes that sum up My Mister.

 

The first are grandma's last words that are shown during the funeral - "If you think about it, each and every interpersonal relationship is quite fascinating and precious." This sums up Ji An's arc. It's her learning the importance of opening up and forming relationships with others, instead of constantly pushing others away.

 

The second is the monk's words of encouragement to Dong Hoon - "Just be brazen and think about yourself", summing up Dong Hoon's arc. It's interesting, because it's kind of the opposite of the first message, right? It's him learning the importance of prioritizing himself over the needs or expectations of others. This also extends to the expectations of society to keep his image of a 'successful' person with a good job and happy family.

 

Although these messages seem a little contradictory at first glance, I think they come together well to show that both are important. Community, society and the relationships around us are important and precious, but we still need to prioritize ourselves and our needs at times. 

 

It's also why the show ending with the two of them getting together makes so much sense to me and feels like a natural conclusion to both of their arcs. Ji An's side is fairly obvious, with forming a meaningful relationship with her person that helped her open up being a natural end point. For Dong Hoon, post time-skip, we see that he has already taken massive steps out of the 'expectations of society' box by leaving both his wife and job to pursue his happiness. The last step is him ignoring society's apprehension / judgement about an age-gap  relationship with Ji An, and pursuing what he wants without giving a damn about the norms of society.

[YukawaCattle]

銝祈剜

[Thomas Zhang]

12 hours ago, YukawaCattle said:

By the way, @the_sweetroad, I read your fiction and think it is perfect.
So sweet and well written.

Oh you wrote it @the_seetroad. I've read it 2 weeks ago. Their out of touch is hard to accept and you make it reasonable and perfect!

Edited January 20, 2022 by Thomas Zhang

[actionscript]

On 1/20/2022 at 2:19 AM, sadiesmith said:

Hardly! Have you not come across this post on GMS? 

https://givemeslippers.wordpress.com/2018/07/24/gif-ahjussis-longing-looks/

 

Yes I have! So nice!!

 

 @popai5also used the term neck.. And then I introduced “nape.” At least anatomically we’re getting more specific! 

 

On 1/19/2022 at 7:55 PM, YukawaCattle said:

As we mentioned earlier, red and blue always show up in MM's pictures, like the following examples.

 

Woah!! And I suppose background color hues are made to draw attention to one’s subconscious mind, so that’s a very impressive observation!! I enjoyed the pictures very much!

 

On 1/19/2022 at 4:50 PM, the_sweetroad said:

Great organization and comparison. Thanks for laying these out. It strikes me that in the left-hand column there are more assumptions being made about DH. Or does your objective self also think we shippers make many assumptions?

 

MariaF introduced a very nice concept over at KFG’s site, called Chekhov’s Gun.

 

To summarize the principle:

 

“Chekhov’s gun is a dramatic principle that suggests that details within a story or play will contribute to the overall narrative. This encourages writers to not make false promises in their narrative by including extemporaneous details that will not ultimately pay off by the last act, chapter, or conclusion.”

 

“The most famous version advises: “If in the first act you have hung a pistol on the wall, then in the following one it should be fired. Otherwise don’t put it there.””

 

“If something in your narrative grabs the reader’s attention, that detail has narrative work to do and must be significant to the overall work.”

 

https://www.masterclass.com/articles/writing-101-what-is-chekhovs-gun-learn-how-to-use-chekhovs-gun-in-your-writing#who-was-anton-chekhov-and-how-was-chekhovs-gun-invented

 

I liked it because it finally puts an official name to what we’ve been referring to as clues and breadcrumbs! And it confirms our theory all along that even the shortest of scenes that was put in by the PDnim had to be interpreted as contributing to the overall narrative. And My Mister seemed to primarily rely on this technique to tell its story.

 

All the details like drawing attention to the hands actually use this principle, as DH’s and JA’s hands, which came into focus twice in the final scene, are significant in interpreting that scene.

 

Even all those clues and scenes we’ve been discussing on this thread! For example, Yu Ra’s ep 8 audition lines used the term “love,” that is already a direct indication on how to interpret the more subtle “like” that JA used 3 times. Otherwise, that scene should not have been there, or the words used should have been different.

 

So I think that’s why many shippers came to be only after several re-watches, which many non-shippers failed to grasp after only one or two watches, because at first many (including me) did not appreciate enough, or were not yet able to make complete sense of, all those scenes, clues and breadcrumbs that applied the Chekhov’s Gun principle. That they were seriously and meticulously put in there by the show, and were not meant to be brushed off as mere coincidences or worse, just filler moments!