[Drama 2018] My Mister, 나의 아저씨 - Best Drama at 2019 (55th) BaekSang Arts Awards

[andius]

20 hours ago, sadiesmith said:

Is anyone here interested in helping us build the My Ahjussi fan site? It's coming along nicely, but we could use one or two more hands.  https://givemeslippers.wordpress.com/

 

Not sure how I can help but I'm willing to give a hand

[riazni]

19 hours ago, sadiesmith said:

 

He drives in the flashback scene, the one where he sees the card key to Yoon Hee and Joon Young's love nest.  He drives Joon Young to the hospital from the campsite.  

 

I can only think of obvious reasons that he doesn't drive: his wife likes to be in control, so it annoys her to have to change the driver seat back to her setting after he uses the car.  This is sometimes how I operate.  Hahaha...  Also, he is the CEO, so of course his subordinate is the one who drives.  

 

You forgot two more, Sang Hoon drives in their fantasy scene.  It's Sang Hoon's fantasy to drive a fancy car, after all, so naturally SH drives.  Ki Hoon drives the cleaning van while Dong Hoon is in deep thought over his confrontation with Yoon Hee the night before.  This one is obviously because the van belongs to the cleaning brothers.

 

Now my question is why did they make Ji An sit in the backseat other than to make her appear like a little child.

Hi all, another post from me

happy to see that the thread is still alive, really fun on discussing many things

 

regarding @Sadie question above, on why did they make JA sit in the backseat other than to make her appear like a little child, I would assume that scene as another way to show DH’s respect to his wife, because I believe that there is (unwritten) common rule in some Asian society that say only a spouse of the driver should be seated in the front seat of a private car (next to the driver) if the passenger is a different gender from the driver. I read an article highlighted that rule in China. So DH as an upright (legally) married man, driving a car carrying not-spouse woman as a passenger, he could feel that it wasn’t right for him to seat JA next to him, it wasn’t respectful to his wife (eventhough YH has been so disrespectful of him a lot, in my opinion, hehe)..

I think I can accept that, if that’s the case, feels true to DH’s character,,and JA seems ok with that seating arrangement, she’s happy enough to see ‘driving profile of her ahjusshi’ 

I noted that the scene of her looking at his ‘driving profile’, is actually given a reciprocated scene with DH looking at ‘running profile of JA’, when she’s running ahead of him to the bus after the funeral, with that song ‘reflection of my heart’ as the bgm, that scene is just beautifuulll *love* and further strengthened with DH looking at JA in the bus with lots of feelingggs (excuse my shippy heart, haha..).

 

one more thing, about one poster asking about whether the hugye-dong neighbourhood knows anything about KI’ s father story (killed by JA), I would see it as no, they don’t know anything about it. In my understanding:

1. KI+his father+JA lived in an ‘X’ neighbourhood when KI JA were kids 

2. The loanshark office is somewhat in the middle of that ‘X’ and Hugyedong (it’s still a quite familiar neighbourhood for bar ahjusshi who spotted DH aftermath fight with KI, but not close enough to make the hugyedong closeknit resident to know and hear about KI father and the incident)

3. JA moved to hugyedong when she started her part timework close to the area (convenient on taking subway) for a year or less including in Saman EC, so the people of hugyedong haven’t known her, especially because JA don’t socialise at all.

 

maybe someone has different view on this, please share it..

 

I’m still in major withdrawal of MA, and I was in my third rewatch up until ep12 last week but paused for a week since I visited my hometown for Raya’s holiday, and used this moment to finally watch LSK’s movie A King’s Case Note. I must say that as fan of LSK for 5yrs or so, I had intended to watch it (mystery movie: my favourite; LSK in it, double favourite), but haven’t found the right movie file,hehe..

Now I found a right file, watching it, 10mnt on, and paused to write this post because I really want to share to this forum on how charrrrming he is as the king, oh my dear how I miss him on my screen

It seems a fun movie, with a dash of mystery, and the sound of LSK infectious laugh, perfect!

 

I’ll continue gracing LSK on my screen now, haha..so until the next post, everyone!

 

 

 

 

[oldschooler]

21 hours ago, sadiesmith said:

 

I read someone from DCinside said the exact same thing about this, via Google troll, of course.  

Hi @sadiesmith thanks for sharing this. I read in previous pages that DC Inside is a Korean forum, and that Soompi and Dc Inside are in the same multiverse or something like that?  It's good to know that somewhere someone thinks the same too.  Personally, I first encountered this concept from the old film the Dead Poet’s Society, where Thoreau was quoted as saying that we live lives of quiet desperation. That was like a knock on the back of my head, to see that there is a wide chasm between what we settle for vs. the great longing for love that our hearts are created for, as Fr. Ron Rolheiser described it. Hence the desperation that exists in all of us. For me, Tony Leung embodied this sense of lostness and desperation perfectly through WKW’s movies. When LJA chided PDH for serving his time in prison a bit too earnestly, and PDH was described by Yoon Hee as constantly missing something in his life, I was completely sold. And to portray this sense of desperation in the context of face-saving and binding masculinity, I think, takes the skill of a master. By the way, thanks for that article on LSK's midlife crisis.

 

10 hours ago, akhenaten said:

When I think about it, other couples often go to work and come home together because it allows them to have that precious bit of time to be together in the midst of their busy days.  And from the looks of it, this is something that Dong Hoon and Yoon Hee could've easily done, especially with their son being far away.  He can easily drop her off at her office and he brings the car then pick her up at the end of the day.  Or vice versa if Yoon Hee's office is farther.  And they could eat dinner outside after work.  And on those days when Dong Hoon drinks with his friends at the bar or eats dinner with his mom and brothers, Yoon Hee would've been with him.  Maybe if they had done this, Dong Hoon wouldn't have had to go to the bar every night to alleviate his boredom and Yoon Hee wouldn't have felt so lonely and isolated from him.  Because they would have been together.

 

One of the big problems of their marriage was their lack of time for each other, which resulted in the breakdown of their communication, which effectively killed whatever love they had for each other.

@akhenaten, I think those are really good examples of how things could have been. There were so many things that they could have done together with each other, such as commuting together. Even after they had grown apart, Yoon Hee could have taken up something other than having an affair. I mean there were 1001 things she could have done, such as joining a reading group, or hang out with her own friends in the ladies' bar (with a depressed barman for a change), maybe chat at Soompi and post cool pictures of PDH. Rather than look at her 1001 reasons to have an affair. I see her 1001 reasons, and sympathise with her as PDH is not perfect. But...

 

20 hours ago, ccl82 said:

 

By his co-workers probably because he's the boss. Bosses get to sit back and relax. 

 

 @ccl82, I would feel quite mortified if I were the foreign teacher.  If only we could drive our bosses around at work and not only in cars, hahaha. "Yes, relax, let me take care of my year-end evaluation".

7 hours ago, africandramalover said:

I've been on a healing mission of my own, trying to get over this drama, seeing how heavily it weighed on my spirit. I'm glad to report I have been successful. A rewatch of Woman of Dignity (another brilliant and hilarious drama) has set me right.

 

A man gets tied up to the ground
He gives the world
Its saddest sound
Its saddest sound

It reinforces his clear longing to be free, not just of his marriage, but of the expectations and weights holding him down. The poor man is desperate to be free but he is so weighed down he probably cannot even lift himself off the ground. He has slumped forward, trying to catch his breath, on two occasions I can remember.  His heavy breathing sounds like someone who is trying hard to find the energy within himself to take off, but he can't, like a dead engine.

@africandramalover I wish you the best of luck for your job application! I'm happy to read that you are healing from this drama. Wish I could say the same for myself. I was very touched by your observations. The saddest sound made by the bounded man: I cannot imagine Dong Hoon listening to this song and not break his heart. And that he was trying so hard to take off. I agree with you that PDH's sense of suffocation comes not only from his marriage, but also the weight of so many expectations. For me, one of the problems was social expectations, such as the role of men, what it means to be masculine. Sometimes I wonder if KWS was glorifying or criticising the concepts of masculinity and Koreanness. I think rather than criticising the symptoms (e.g. emotional suppression, drinking, workaholism, class) he wanted to portray these symptoms with sarcasm and sympathy (should we laugh or cry over the absurdity of things?). The deeper heart of the matter is that “we are human, not machines”, and that there is something inherently wrong with the dog-eat-dog world we live in that suppresses our humanity. So, I feel that when Yoon Hee criticised PDH’s drinking habits out of her loneliness, rather than getting to the bottom of his sense of lostness, she had widely missed the mark. I wonder if without the barrage of criticism and with a lot more understanding and kindness, PDH might have opened up to Yoon Hee? We see from his reaction to LJA that he is not immune to kindness. Edit: And this reminds me that in the beginning, when PDH had first lost the bribe money, he did call and go to Yoon Hee's office and disclose this to her right? Sob, she could have been the one to rescue him.

 

6 hours ago, justamom said:

How to create a compelling character

1. The character needs or wants something

Dong Hoon needs to learn to set his heart free. To be gentle to himself. Contradiction: he wants his stable home and family, but that's what at the start of the show is trapping his heart.

2. The character is having difficulty getting what he needs/wants, and comes up with a plan to overcome that

Dong Hoon discovers Yoon Hee's affair. His plan is to force Do Joon Yeon to break up with her and never ever let Yoon Hee know that he knew, so that they can continue with their marriage.

3. He exhibits a contradiction

Despite his quite, reserved, restrained exterior, Dong Hoon has hidden violent tendencies. He is not quite who we think he is, or who his brothers think he is.

4. Something unexpected happens that renders him vulnerable

He meets Ji An, who seems to see right through him, forcing him to reflect on his pathetic life. She also upends his life through the bribery attempt and the kiss.

Ji An reveals that Dong Hoon knows about the affair to Yoon Hee, exposing his attempts to cover up everything, exposing the truth of their marriage.

5. The unexpected suggests there is more to him than meets the eye: a secret.

While his marriage and family unravels, Dong Hoon falls deeply and irrevocably in love with Ji An

 

Wow what a neat way to sum it up @justamom. Awesome! Can I add to No. 3, that apart from being not quite who everyone thinks he is, there were also times when he was surprised by himself, such as by falling in love with LJA?

Edited June 20, 2018 by oldschooler

[justamom]

Just reporting in from the middle of episode 14 to say, oh my god! Park Dong Hoon! Your longing for Ji An is killing me!!!!!

 

It feels even more intense than the first time I watched it!

 

I’m such a mess inside!

[mylovelystar]

 

 

 

 

[akhenaten]

1 hour ago, justamom said:

Just reporting in from the middle of episode 14 to say, oh my god! Park Dong Hoon! Your longing for Ji An is killing me!!!!!

 

It feels even more intense than the first time I watched it!

 

I’m such a mess inside!

 

@justamom You're making me want to marathon all 16 episodes!  My reaction was bad enough when I decided to rewatch just the entirety of episode 10.  I actually felt my heart tighten and my hair stand on end while watching Ji An cry her heart out on that bridge while listening to Dong Hoon beating up Kwang Il over her.  

 

But honestly, the rewatching that we're doing right now really allows us to rediscover this drama and find all the hidden gems that the writer and director put in it. Perhaps there are even things that they aren't aware of,  some things they may have unconsciously placed or may not have been there when they initially wrote it but came out because of the way the actors decided to play their characters and the scenes.   And we get to discover them. 

[justamom]

Rolling right on to episode 15....and I have a gif request!!! I was bursting with Dong Hoon’s longing and desire for Ji An....and then this line from the directors killed me. LOL.

 

Director: No way....she can’t be the spy who loved the enemy...

 

Park Dong Woon: major eye roll.

 

And a second one, minutes later.

 

Dong Hoon: Ji An and I...we are close

 

Park Dong Woon: another major eye roll

 

@h2ogirl gif request please! 

[kdramaqueennn]

22 hours ago, sadiesmith said:

 

He drives in the flashback scene, the one where he sees the card key to Yoon Hee and Joon Young's love nest.  He drives Joon Young to the hospital from the campsite.  

 

I can only think of obvious reasons that he doesn't drive: his wife likes to be in control, so it annoys her to have to change the driver seat back to her setting after he uses the car.  This is sometimes how I operate.  Hahaha...  Also, he is the CEO, so of course his subordinate is the one who drives.  

 

You forgot two more, Sang Hoon drives in their fantasy scene.  It's Sang Hoon's fantasy to drive a fancy car, after all, so naturally SH drives.  Ki Hoon drives the cleaning van while Dong Hoon is in deep thought over his confrontation with Yoon Hee the night before.  This one is obviously because the van belongs to the cleaning brothers.

 

Now my question is why did they make Ji An sit in the backseat other than to make her appear like a little child.

actually, I’ve just watched lee sun kyun movie , Paju, he was in love with her wife’s little sister, and in one of the scene, there’s this lee sun kyun driving, and that girl sat on the back of the car too.. so remind me of my mister, so I think maybe it’s just because they were young.. she was his student too, but they fall in love.. 

[ccl82]

1 hour ago, justamom said:

Rolling right on to episode 15....and I have a gif request!!! I was bursting with Dong Hoon’s longing and desire for Ji An....and then this line from the directors killed me. LOL.

 

Director: No way....she can’t be the spy who loved the enemy...

 

Park Dong Woon: major eye roll.

 

And a second one, minutes later.

 

Dong Hoon: Ji An and I...we are close

 

Park Dong Woon: another major eye roll

 

@h2ogirl gif request please! 

 

Someone already made this. Lemme check. 

 

Edit: FOUND!! @justamom

http://parkdonghoons.tumblr.com/tagged/my-mister-edit

[h2ogirl]

1 hour ago, justamom said:

Rolling right on to episode 15....and I have a gif request!!! I was bursting with Dong Hoon’s longing and desire for Ji An....and then this line from the directors killed me. LOL.

 

Director: No way....she can’t be the spy who loved the enemy...

 

Park Dong Woon: major eye roll.

 

And a second one, minutes later.

 

Dong Hoon: Ji An and I...we are close

 

Park Dong Woon: another major eye roll

 

@h2ogirl gif request please! 

 

At your service, ma'am!  @justamom

 

Eye-roll # 1:

 

 

Eye-roll # 2:

 

---

Bonus: A few more Longing GIFs:

 

 

Spoiler

Looking for a Certain Pretty Girl... Not-So-Subtly

 

 

Ahjussi Goes Crazy

 

 

Ahjussi's Nightly Landscaping Surveys:

 

 

 

[ccl82]

@h2ogirl your gifs should really all go in the fansite! We should compile all 'looking for JA' gifs in 1 post  

 

Park Dong-hoon in love is really the cutest thang.

[sadiesmith]

5 hours ago, riazni said:

I noted that the scene of her looking at his ‘driving profile’, is actually given a reciprocated scene with DH looking at ‘running profile of JA’, when she’s running ahead of him to the bus after the funeral, with that song ‘reflection of my heart’ as the bgm, that scene is just beautifuulll *love* and further strengthened with DH looking at JA in the bus with lots of feelingggs (excuse my shippy heart, haha..).

 

 

Woke up late with puffy eyes from my ep4 rewatching and crying session late in the night.  I didn't cry at all in my live watch until very late in the series run (too busy following the story), but going back to the beginning now, after learning so much more about PDH through all the analyses shared here, makes for a very different watching experience.  How my heart breaks for him.  

 

The insights shared in the last 24 hours have been deep and amazing and I have a few thoughts about them, but for now, @h2ogirlcan I submit a gif request of the two scenes juxtaposed against each other as described by the bolded words above?

 

 

[popai5]

I need to catch up on the last couple of pages but I wanted to respond to and thank @ann04 and @justamom for the clarification about the word DH used for wife. I'm glad it was the same word he has used all along and not what he said at the end at the cafe.

 

@h2ogirl thanks for the clarification on the 'it's not a big deal'. This is what I get for only relying on the subtitles for DF. I really have to start learning/understanding more Korean. My next 'to do'.

 

On second viewing I am really watching the drama more than reading the subtitles and quickly looking at the action on screen so I am gaining an even greater appreciation of all that is going on.

 

Gotta go back to page 257 and start catching up again!

 

[fauna]

On 6/19/2018 at 8:17 AM, oldschooler said:

Hi @fauna, I appreciate very much your distinction between emotional affair vs. kindness/protective love. It would really satisfy my one-track mind if PDH did not have romantic feelings towards LJA, as illustrated by his lack of conflict over her request for a hug. That's because I agree that emotional affairs and true love are mutually exclusive. Yes yes, please let them be together after his divorce

For me though, PHD did fall for LJA, if only internally out of everyone's sight. I guess our perception of whether PDH crossed the line or not depends on how we individually define romantic love. As someone mentioned earlier, my gold standard is by gauging the level I freak out if my husband treats another woman the way PDH treated LJA.

True, but I tend to give DH a pass because of his circumstances. He is suicidal, depressed, thinks of himself as worthless, and his pillar (his wife) is not only failing to hold him up, but seeking to actively destroy him (marrying the person he hates the most and taking away the job everyone he loves wants him to keep).

 

Whenever he is at the end of his rope, there is JA, telling him he is a good person, to hang in there, discussing how bad work is, having a drink with him when he needs it most, even staring at him sadly in sympathy through the window as his car drives away. She has the best timing due to the wiretap, but is still there for him when he needs her. His best friend texts him, but that is not enough. He needs face-to-face interaction and support. The reason he doesn’t let the train run over him or jump in the Han River is his brothers, but they pressure him to stay in his job and think his life is perfect. They are loving him and killing him at the same time. JA is the only person, be it woman or man, holding him up. Rather than an emotional affair, I see it as an emotional lifeline.

 

In this man eat man world, we all need to be kinder to each other, love one another, help each other, and form meaningful connections whenever we can. People like Robin Williams, Kate Spade, and Anthony Bourdain seemed to have it all, but were suffering so much inside.

[sadiesmith]

9 hours ago, justamom said:

Rolling right on to episode 15....and I have a gif request!!! I was bursting with Dong Hoon’s longing and desire for Ji An....and then this line from the directors killed me. LOL.

 

Director: No way....she can’t be the spy who loved the enemy...

 

Park Dong Woon: major eye roll.

 

And a second one, minutes later.

 

Dong Hoon: Ji An and I...we are close

 

Park Dong Woon: another major eye roll

 

@h2ogirl gif request please! 

 

But how does Park Dong Woon know???

[popai5]

was it @justamom who asked about DH and him not driving?

 

My take is that in addition to him liking to think on the subway and enjoying being able to sigh as he takes those long brooding walks home (while also being able to drop by the market to pick things up for YH which she never asks for) it is about control.

 

Driving gives a sense of power. Power provided by a sense of freedom to go wherever you want, whenever you want. Power to take others wherever and whenever. It is responsibility over your life and the life of other drivers, passengers and pedestrians. Someone mentioned that it is because YH likes to take control, but I also think it is because DH doesn't have any control over his life or doesn't want the responsibility that driving entails.

 

The PD or writer probably wanted to show that at this point in his life he is happy to give up control to the train operator, the bus driver, his wife, his brother. He allows others to be in charge of his fate/life as he travels in life. He is not in control over the path of his life. He is either too lazy or complacent and just doesn't care to take charge of where his life is going. He is coasting through life and just along for the ride whether it's bumpy or boring.

 

Yes, he will still walk and take the train and let his employees drive him around but...

When he does drive, he is driving with JA as his passenger. He is showing that not only is he taking responsibility for his own life and future, he is also deciding to take responsibility for JA.

 

I'm sure they will meet up in the future after taking the train, but I'm also sure they will be taking many longer trips together and he will be driving then!!!

[justamom]

On 6/19/2018 at 8:17 PM, oldschooler said:

Apart from the free-flowing supply of longing and desire, what I loved most about the drama and WKW movies were LSK and Tony Leung's rendition of a reserved but suffering-to-the-brink-of-dying man. Unlike IU who was hardened and cynical, PDH was highly socialised. He cared about appearances to a certain extent, and did not want to show his sadness for fear of burdening those around him, so he had no choice but to bottle everything up as @t123han noted, in quiet desperation. The quietness in the desperation made his suffering more heartbreaking, as though no words could describe his pain. The desperation in the quietness that leaked through LSK's expressions, those were gold for me and I think were what made LSK such a great actor!

 

On 6/19/2018 at 11:17 PM, oldschooler said:

The more he realised that he loved her, and the clearer it was to him that LJA loved him deeply, the more he pulled back in order to do the right thing. He was not in denial anymore, but his reaction to acknowledging this love was calculated and rational, in spite of the internal storm it whipped up in him; he had to erect boundaries to protect LJA.

 

On 6/19/2018 at 11:17 PM, oldschooler said:

Such was the extent of deprivation and abuse in her childhood that while one part of her had lived 30,000 tiring years, another part was just a child who needed love and guidance. Hence she alternated between strutting Alias-like towards the screen after drugging Park Dongwoon, and following PDH like a puppy after asking for a meal. The reality was, she was a 21-year-old “juvenile delinquent” who had broken the law. She needed to take responsibility and face the music, as doing so was her rite of passage to real adulthood. I like that Park Haeyoung did not let LJA off the hooks easily.

 

On 6/19/2018 at 11:17 PM, oldschooler said:

But there were some huge crumbs that fell off the table:

 

1. Someone noted that PDH and Yoon Hee had never shared a bed. Fellow shippers also noted that in Episode 15 we see PDH sitting at the foot of LJA’s hospital bed, while LJA confessed that she liked everything about PDH. What did he do? Sit quietly and not deny anything.

2. The director also made sure to point out that PDH and Yoon Hee’s relationship was more of a working relationship. After putting LJA at Jung Hee’s place, PDH went home. Where did he sit? On the bed. Where did he carefully place the phone? Next to him. Contrasted to the private nature of the bedroom, PDH met Yoon Hee at her home office to talk “business” with her. She was “cibsaram”, but only legally so.

3. We felt a sense of violation when Yoon Hee talked into the phone to reach LJA. However, talking into the phone was Yoon Hee’s idea, and not PDH’s. Later he told Yoon Hee that he doesn’t think LJA will hear it, ie. It’s a bad idea, ie. It’s not his idea.

 

Somehow I think the writer/director liked to increase the distance between PDH and LJA before (bam?!) pulling them even closer together at the end of an episode, e.g. Ep 9, when PDH was alienated from her by information from Gwangil, but at the end he swung right back to her with a bang, and the way he looked at her completely changed. In Ep 13/14 they said goodbye, but by Ep 14 he was chasing helplessly after her and singing love songs to her. In Ep 15 he drew those boundaries, but in Ep 16 we have the grand finale funeral, during which we see the extension of LJA’s love for PDH to the love of the neighbourhood, PDH acting chief mourner, PDH staring intensely at LJA, and the last handshake meeting. The distancing and pursuing dynamic of their relationship really left me quite dizzy (and shocked!)… but perfectly satisfied in the end.

 

Hi @oldschooler

 

I like your post so much I'm just quoting it again here. 

 

You are absolutely right. The more he fell for Ji An, the more vulnerable he became. Because no one else had ever seen that pitiful side of him before. 

 

Yoon Hee came close, but she saw it and it repulsed her. So she abandoned him.

 

Ji An saw it, comforted him, and fell in love with him despite of his pathetic life.

 

When we become vulnerable, what do we do? Like Ji An in the Choon Dae's shed when Dong Hoon first opened the door - she becomes a feral, wild cat, brandishing her claws.

 

Dong Hoon's vulnerability made him pull back. It made him draw back to the security of his life as a provider for his family, father, son, brother, and husband. 

 

But each time, he just fell deeper and deeper in love.

 

That's why My Ahjussi, for me, is one of The Greatest Love Stories.

 

20 minutes ago, sadiesmith said:

 

But how does Park Dong Woon know???

 

There's a line around episodes 14 or 15 where he says. "You're not the kind of guy to get all tangled up with a girl. That's why I thought Do Joon Yeong stuck her on you."

 

(Dong Hoon, of course says 'oh no, there's no such thing')

 

So, he knows. He knows.

 

Remember, he has no job, a vendetta, and all that free time...  

 

 

 

 

[mylovelystar]

 

[justamom]

I finished my rewatch. Marathoned episodes 5-16 over the past one week.

 

Similar to @sadiesmith and @popai5 I found myself more deeply immersed in the feelings and sensations on my rewatch. And it was a real joy to watch everything at one shot this time because one scene kept rolling onto the next, one emotion compounding the next. It left me bursting with feelings.

 

My Ahjussi makes me want to write poetry. Sing about love at the top of my voice.

 

I want to write a longer piece, but for now will just make these notes.

 

1. The unraveling of Yoon Hee and Dong Hoon's marriage was so much clearer to me this time.

 

As I wrote earlier, in Yoon Hee's words. "Do you think I'm so audacious to remain in this marriage? I'm just sticking around until he exhausts his compassion for me."

 

It turns out Yoon Hee got exhausted first, and left for America. 

 

My own interpretation, as written in my story, is that Yoon Hee got fed up with Dong Hoon's "I don't love you anymore but let's continue to keep up pretences". So she left him to figure things out on her own, while she went ahead and pursued her own life.

 

2. How many years have passed when Dong Hoon and Ji An meet again?

 

Ji An and Dong Hoon first meet in the bitter cold of winter. This to me is around January 2018. Or Year 1, whatever you want to call it. The bulk of the show, episodes 1-16 take place from January-April 2018. Ji An leaves in the middle of spring, after the cherry blossoms fall.

 

Summer rain. The planting. Dong Hoon sends Yoon Hee to the airport. She's going away for two weeks "to look for schools". I believe this is the same year. Summer of 2018, after Ji Seok has returned home for the holidays. 

 

Dong Hoon in the supermarket, buying processed and frozen food. His subsequent breakdown. The year is unclear, but it appears to be some time after Yoon Hee has left.

 

Ki Hoon. We see summer, fall, winter, then spring again. At least a year has passed. Scenes at Dong Hoon's new company, where he's making lots of money. Ji An returns to Seoul.

 

Dong Hoon final conversation with his friend. Late spring. Ji Seok is 14 in American age. That's fifteen in Korean age. When we start the show, Ji Seok is 12 in Korean age. It means three years have passed since they first met.

 

Dong Hoon is now 48 in Korean age. And Ji An would be 24. 

 

3.Why did Dong Hoon ask Yoon Hee "Want me to buy something" after hugging Ji An?

 

I'll admit. This bugged me the first time I watched it. But, the second time round, it all made sense.

 

I believe that Dong Hoon had every intention to stay in the marriage until his epiphany and subsequent breakdown after Yoon Hee left for America. That he was still deeply unhappy, and nothing had changed.

 

After hugging Ji An - the most vulnerable we have seen him throughout the show, his only close physical contact with a woman (Sang Won does try to hug him, but he doesn't hug back) - what does he do? 

 

He pulls right back to the security of his marriage. Family. Duty. And his way of expressing his commitment is to ask Yoon Hee. "Want me to buy something?"

 

Like @oldschooler said, it's a consistent theme throughout the show. Pulling back, then falling in deeper.

 

Ji An is leaving. She's been his comfort, his security blanket the past few months. To come so close -- but with the knowledge that he would have to let her go, must have been heartbreaking for him. And so he retreats, back to the only thing he's known for the past twenty years.

 

4. Yoon Hee's jealousy and shame

I must admit, I didn't see this coming. Yoon Hee's reaction is very subtle. But when Dong Hoon comes home after running after Ji An all night, you can see it in her face when she asks. "Where have you been? With who?" Dong Hoon's relationship with Ji An is a part of him she can never access. That she tried for 20 years to access, but failed.

 

Before that, in the car after meeting DJY. She calls Ji An. "Do you really like Dong Hoon?" "Yeah." She breaks down and cries. How could this girl have seen the same thing I saw, but ended up falling in love, while I betrayed him

 

I mentioned somewhere earlier that on this rewatch I began to realise Yoon Hee really loved Dong Hoon. But his inability to love her back in a way that she understood, made her feel rejected. Her love became a sort of hate. Vindictive enough to take him down. 

 

Realising how much she failed Dong Hoon, she realised that in the least, she would prove her loyalty as a wife. And that includes "befriending" Ji An. I can help you, she says. I will help you. It's her attempt to redeem herself.

 

5. Dong Hoon protects Yoon Hee (and by association, his family) to the end

I feel that many of the so-called "signs" that Dong Hoon stayed in the marriage, were really just Dong Hoon protecting Yoon Hee's image and reputation.

 

Remember. She's Ji Seok's Omma. No matter what happens between them, she's my son's mother. She will always be family.

 

Remember, the whole company found out about her shameful affair with Dong Hoon's boss. In Korean context, one of the deepest possible humiliations possible for a woman. It's probably the main reason she decided to leave for America.

 

Remember Dong Hoon's words? "I don't know how to end this. But I'm not going to make life difficult for you."

 

His wife is being scorned and humiliated by the whole world. The woman he chose and lived with for 20 years. Is he going to add oil to fire by scorning her too? No, as much as it hurts, he protects her until it all blows over.

 

Because the people who scorn Yoon Hee, are scorning him too. How could he have stayed married to such a woman for so long? What sort of man is he for this to happen to him? They will, for now, stand united.

 

I believe Ki Hoon and Sang Hoon, and Jeong Hee were the only ones who knew about Dong Hoon's true feelings. Because he doesn't want Yoon Hee and his marriage to become a subject of table gossip. That to me is the main reason he puts up the photos of Yoon Hee and Ji Seok in his office. She may not be here, but she's still family.  She's Ji Seok's mother. So don't talk schmack about her, because if you do, that's insulting me and my son as well.

 

Oh, I almost forgot Gwang Il. Gwang Il, like us, knew too

 

I said I wasn't going to write much, but oh well!

 

This show has consumed me for much longer than normal. I still want to watch certain scenes again, but I'll probably do the next rewatch when the DVDs are out. We can all have another My Ahjussi marathon then.

 

That's all for now!

 

 

[akhenaten]

@justamom I love and agree with a lot of the things you said,  but I will refrain from commenting until I'm done with my own rewatch.  

 

Btw is it already confirmed if they will come out with an international version with English subs for everything in it including the leaflets,  photobooks,  etc? 

I'm sorely tempted to order but the uncertainty of this holds me back. That's a lot to pay for something I can't fully appreciate.