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Go Seung Ji

[Drama 2017] Because This Is My First Life 이번 생은 처음이라

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4 hours ago, jongski said:

 

I agree with you. I hope they just start to like each other maybe after  10 episodes. I want to see them struggling with their feelings and slow liking each other. I wonder who the writer will present this to us.  I feel that SH can show  affection through physical contact.; a squeeze of  her hand to say it's okay,  a pat on the back for doing a good job.. but these gestures will turn slowly into something like touch of her cheeks if and when he'll see her cry, a hug to comfort her.. oh I'm thinking scenarios in my head. He he.

 

But chingu, I'm worried about SH mother.  Will she accept YJH daughter in law?  I don't feel the mother  will warm up to her.

 

Thanks for the correction. Got excited forgot the "without' while quoting the English sub.

 

So JH is technically a bed spacer, right?  She's not paying for the house she's paying for the room?  I think it's more cheaper that way.

 

 

 

 

I like your progression of skinship. :D

As for SH's mother, she probably won't like JH, however, SH doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who does what his parents want him to do. If SH hadn't met JH, he probably would have kept fending his parents off as he had been doing. It's just that he has met JH, he wants her in his life albeit as a housemate right now rather than as a partner, so he's decided to "solve" the parental pressure problem and keep JH in his life. I think the mother will eventually come to accept JH. JH is a good person who will be willing to put the effort in to make SH's relationship to his parents more "normal" for them, I think, so she will eventually come to appreciate dealing with JH versus her son who just shuts her down all the time.

 

Not sure what a bed spacer is, however, JH is just paying for her room. It's definitely cheaper to rent a room rather than to rent an entire flat. :)

 

 

4 hours ago, Jillia said:

 

On an important note I love how this drama breaks with the taboo of addressing sexual assault and gaslighting - which happens unfortunately frequently, not only in South Korea but as we know everywhere in the world (see Weinstein incident) - and lets Ji-ho say her opinion, also addressing how women - in her case writer-nim - don't even help other women in this situation either. Good stuff, good stuff!

 

@Jillia, I liked all of your observations, but this point I so agree with. I liked that JH got to look in disbelief at all these people telling her that the attempted rape was really nothing much and that she should  basically get over it, and then give them a piece of her mind as well as walk out on the job. In a way, it's because as a freelance assistant writer, she wasn't really making it anyway, that she could walk away. Still, the point I think was clear. That she didn't just accept it as the cost of doing business.

 

Unlike SJ who has to deal with sexual harassment pretty constantly at work. However, she chalks it up to the price of going after her dream of climbing the corporate ladder. While no one may have physically tried to attack SJ as the assistant PD attacked JH, they were both subjected to sex crimes, and their responses to their situations are markedly different. In fact, I've wondered whether SJ had been forced into having sex with someone already, and had basically told herself to get over it since that was what was required. It's a horrible thought, but something about the way SJ deals with sex feels a little off. I'm not condemning her in any way for her one night stand with SG or anyone else, btw. As an adult of her own cognizance, she's free to conduct her personal affairs any way she thinks best. It's just the way SJ is shown under stress all the time makes me wonder.

 

The scene at JH's parents house as she announces that they want to get married actually made me feel sad even as I laughed at the sound effects and the comedic set up. The double standard is clearly alive and well. *sigh*

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This drama is really funny and some of it is subtle.  That awful picture that SH took of him and JH. He thought it was a good picture to show his mother as a couple. He later told JH that he would send the picture to her so that she  could send it to her family to show they were a couple.  When JH saw the picture, she was like, "What? I can't send this."  I can't wait until SH discovers what love is so he can understand the emotions  that love brings out of a person.

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1 hour ago, stroppyse said:

Unlike SJ who has to deal with sexual harassment pretty constantly at work. However, she chalks it up to the price of going after her dream of climbing the corporate ladder. While no one may have physically tried to attack SJ as the assistant PD attacked JH, they were both subjected to sex crimes, and their responses to their situations are markedly different. In fact, I've wondered whether SJ had been forced into having sex with someone already, and had basically told herself to get over it since that was what was required. It's a horrible thought, but something about the way SJ deals with sex feels a little off. I'm not condemning her in any way for her one night stand with SG or anyone else, btw. As an adult of her own cognizance, she's free to conduct her personal affairs any way she thinks best. It's just the way SJ is shown under stress all the time makes me wonder.

 

Actually, I get the impression that SJ may use sex in order to socially climb. She's no jaded innocent. That was shown in the scene when she dropped a condom out of her purse. Some women would have pretended it wasn't theirs, but she boldly told him, that the condom belonged to her and asked for it back. The fact that she keeps condoms in her wallet and is not shy about it, tells me that she keeps them handy because she may have sex at anytime.  I have to wonder where her story is going to lead. She most definitely deals with harassment on her job and I've noticed how she behaves differently around the men she work with...seems a little more "sweet girl" and the way she behaves around SH's friend...tough, worldly.

 

I do love the fact that these women are depicting characters more real life than women in other dramas.  I can relate to these women.

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8 minutes ago, lclarakl said:

 

Actually, I get the impression that SJ may use sex in order to socially climb. She's no jaded innocent. That was shown in the scene when she dropped a condom out of her purse. Some women would have pretended it wasn't theirs, but she boldly told him, that the condom belonged to her and asked for it back. The fact that she keeps condoms in her wallet and is not shy about it, tells me that she keeps them handy because she may have sex at anytime.  I have to wonder where her story is going to lead. She most definitely deals with harassment on her job and I've noticed how she behaves differently around the men she work with...seems a little more "sweet girl" and the way she behaves around SH's friend...tough, worldly.

 

I do love the fact that these women are depicting characters more real life than women in other dramas.  I can relate to these women.

 

I do agree with you that she's not an innocent or anything. And, she may use sex herself to climb the corporate ladder and for stress relief. It's just that I happen to think that using sex as a way to get ahead is learned behaviour which makes me think that at one point she was an innocent until she was probably used and then "rewarded" for it.

 

If she was having sex of her own will, just for her own enjoyment, regardless of how, with whom, or when, I think she wouldn't have as jaded an attitude towards it. Just my personal opinion.

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5 hours ago, bebebisous33 said:

I understand why you see it that way. But nonetheless, her mother was unable to create a room where JH could express herself hence I can not accept that she has such a power over her husband. The mother accepted that only her son's birthday was celebrated with candles. Her daughter had to run away from home in order to achieve her dream. JH has always felt neglected and as such her mother is responsible for that. She criticizes her son in front of JH but her critic has no effect, since the son got a woman pregnant, received the flat and has no real job. 

On the other hand, your observation about how JS and HR perceive men was an eye-opener. Both have a negative attitude towards them: they are objects or tools. In the end they are so passive, when it comes to men. You're right that JS could set boundaries but she doesn't, then resents men for her situation. Striking is that JS didn't notice that MSG did help her a little to get rid of the harassing manager. Sure, it wasn't that obvious but that is the kind of the thing that JH would have noticed. She noticed with a simple gesture SH's kindness. 

I was really bothered by HR's behaviour: immature, materialistic and self-centered. I hope, she finds someone else first (rich aso) and her new boyfriend treats her like an object. I would like her to regret her spontaneus decision. She has to realise that she totally overlooked the love SW had for her. They loved each other, yet she totally underestimated it because of her dream: marriage and have a bigger house.

 

I had a similar perception of JH's mother as @Lmangla. I first got this impress of her mother when she told JH that she would help her and gave her an envelope full of money and told her not to tell her father. LOL! The money was no where near the amount of money that could help JH.  That scene made me realize that JH's mother was one of those traditional wives where the husband is head of the household, but at the same time she leads from behind. She's probably never worked and has no clue what the cost of living would be like in a place Seoul.  

 

Actually, this family reminds me of the family in My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Both fathers are explosive, but at the same time would never do anything to hurt their daughter. JH ran away from home, but she really didn't have a real fear that her father would hurt her or drag her back home. If she really had a fear of her father, she would have never 'ran away' to a place where she could be found. 

 

As the mother in the movie MBFGW, she said that her husband was the head, but she was the neck that turned the head....:D

 

@stroppyse, I agree with your comment about SJ.  I think she may be having it of her own will, but not out of enjoyment. It's just a means to an end to reach her goal.

 

I didn't realize how many actresses in the Korean Entertainment industry (movie/drama stars) are made to prostitute themselves by their agencies. A lot of this started coming to light after an actress committed suicide and left all these letters behind. Those were things that used to happen a lot here in the U.S. in the 50s and 60s. These women allowed themselves to be used in order to grow their career.

 

We'll find out more about SJ, but I do wonder about her story. 

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Some of you have pointed out that SH was a bit disappointed when he asked JH  if she liked him and she said not,  and I am totally agree, and  some of you  are wondering who will be the one who fall first. I have to say that they have already fall for each other but they aren’t aware of it.


In my opinion there are two scene that make me think like this. 


1.    When she said that she didn’t like him at the bus station. His expression. 
2.    The way she was staring at him when she was waiting for him at the bus station to go to visit her parents.
 

 

 

 

 

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@Lmangla @lclarakl @stroppyse  @jongski @bebebisous33 In the car, when realizing she has to get back to work, JS starts putting on her black stocking while Ji-Ho watches.  I didn't like it one bit.  The way she raised her leg to slide into the stocking was hard for me to watch.  It's like she dressed up to slip into her office girl mode.  I have this image of a working girl doing her things.  It devalues JS.  I think I would have been ok if she went back into SH's home to freshen up and come out all professional pretty up.  But to do it in the car just have all this negative sexual connotation. That image stayed with me a while.   On top of it, when she was showing JH the dating app, they were discussing the idea of buying up a level to match with someone higher in scores.  JS chalked it up to the way of the world and how competitive the dating world is.  This mindset is no doubt how she thinks about her own career advancement... that she has to give something to get what she wants.  

 

SeHee said during the presentation that his dating app would only work well if the people who use it are honest in answering the questions.  If they do, they will find their ideal love.  That's so true, it's what we see in the characters.  SH and JH's relationship work because they started out being quite honest with each other, with what their expectations are of the relationship.  It works for JH/SH even though at first glance, their union is odd.  For their friends JS and HR, that honesty is not quite there so we see the girls struggled.

 

@sakura2016  I know you would like SeHee.  You like funny men. :lol:

 

 

 

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@bedifferent, OMG! That scene really bothered me too--I had the same exact impression...working girl. I have to say it really struck me and it also appeared to have struck JH. I wonder again, what her story will be.

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1 hour ago, bedifferent said:

@Lmangla @lclarakl @stroppyse  @jongski @bebebisous33 In the car, when realizing she has to get back to work, JS starts putting on her black stocking while Ji-Ho watches.  I didn't like it one bit.  The way she raised her leg to slide into the stocking was hard for me to watch.  It's like she dressed up to slip into her office girl mode.  I have this image of a working girl doing her things.  It devalues JS.  I think I would have been ok if she went back into SH's home to freshen up and come out all professional pretty up.  But to do it in the car just have all this negative sexual connotation. That image stayed with me a while.   On top of it, when she was showing JH the dating app, they were discussing the idea of buying up a level to match with someone higher in scores.  JS chalked it up to the way of the world and how competitive the dating world is.  This mindset is no doubt how she thinks about her own career advancement... that she has to give something to get what she wants.  

 

 

 

I agree that there was definitely a level of tawdriness to the scene. However, it was also reality. She has to go back into work to entertain the client. Going back to work means putting on stockings. It smacks of long practice in getting ready on the fly to go when she's called, and having to put on a certain uniform to do so, and not thinking twice about doing that in the car in front of someone, much as someone else might put on lipstick or mascara in their car.

 

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BTS posted on Weibo. Cr:DC

*spoiler alert*

 

Spoiler

This was posted last night on weibo jung so min bar. We're trying to guess if it's JH and SH....and what's with the hand-holding???!!!

Screenshot_20171019-092300.jpg

 

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Ho Ran needs to love herself first in order to love others. She said that the only she had is her womb, so for her that is all she is, so sad. I can understand that a woman wants to marry and a have a family but what I can’t understand is how that desire is her only goal in life not matter what. She have to value herself a bit more.


Being in a relationship for seven years it’s not enough reason to get married (My older Sister dated for 8 months and has been married for 20 years) , they need a good communication and they  have to respect each other.  Love is the main ingredient but not enough.


Won Seok can’t know how she feels if she don’t tell him about it. He can’t suppose what she wants because he could be wrong. Being in such a long relation is enough to say whatever she thinks or wants without worries. She is being a litler selfish, is like the only important thing is what she wants  and She was too rude with him in front of her friends.


BTW Ji Soo is the mysterious girl here.  
 

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13 minutes ago, stroppyse said:

 

I agree that there was definitely a level of tawdriness to the scene. However, it was also reality. She has to go back into work to entertain the client. Going back to work means putting on stockings. It smacks of long practice in getting ready on the fly to go when she's called, and having to put on a certain uniform to do so, and not thinking twice about doing that in the car in front of someone, much as someone else might put on lipstick or mascara in their car.

 

She has two personas. One is when she is working with the cool air and the professional gear. When she met Won Seok to get the sofa, she had taken off the stockings and wore trainers.

I suppose this is what it is like in the real world, the person you project yourself to be and the real you.

As in all Korean dramas, all the characters are interconnected. Sang Goo and his room 303 who happens to be Soo Ji....

14 minutes ago, rembrandtz_5e20 said:

BTS posted on Weibo. Cr:DC

 

  Hide contents

This was posted last night on weibo jung so min bar. We're trying to guess if it's JH and SH....and what's with the hand-holding???!!!

 

Ooh... I didn't realise they were live filming!

 

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I am loving this show!  So far it reminds me of the J-drama Nigeru wa haji da ga yaku no tatsu.  (wonderful)  It has similar characterizations of lead actor and actress.  

 

Actor - He works in IT, is cold/lonely/socially challenged with group of friends at work.  No cat but a bird, however he is looking for a house cleaner.

Actress - Cheerful but also level headed, hard working - lost her job...

 

A contract marriage is proposed in order to facilitate both of their lives.  Great secondary characters and story line..... They fall in love and the rest is history.  At the end of each episode there was a dance number/video that was popular in Japan while the show was airing.

 

Anyway, looking forward to discussing this great k drama with all of you.

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I love this show's take on marriage. JH's monologue at the end of 4th ep was amazing. In this day and age, do all the couples get married out of love??  Its disney stuff, i say. Haha. The guy and the girl, need each other to fulfill their desires. Be it financial, in case of SH and JH or emotional in case of Won seok and Ho rang. JH says "we just want to live normally. To do that, we need to do certain things". Which really hit me hard. How we are forced to do things just to satisfy other people or more like to not be looked down by others. Why should we care about others while living our life? Sighhh. Can we be really happy by doing whatever we like and not get afraid of being an outcast?? For a girl like Ho rang who is insecure and has low self esteem, will getting married brings confidence?? For a girl like Soo ji, who is independent and is somewhat successful (acc to Ho rang), will getting married be a setback?? Why do people get married???

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So in the last scene of episode 4, is that supposed to be a in the present? Or is it in the future? I couldn't really tell. I thought they said they wouldn't hold a ceremony? 

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I'm very torn when it comes to Ji-ho's mother. She is anything but perfect and from the start she felt like a wife who is stuck in a long marriage in which there are routines. She knows how to handle her husband and probably has given up on trying to change him. Yes she holds a certain amount of power like all mothers do, since she isn't living in a abusive relationship she can say her little things.

 

Problem is she doesn't use this power to an amount it protects her daughter. She makes Ji-ho seaweed soup for her birthday as a way to apologize but why not tell dad, brother and his wife "hey this is our daughter's birthday. It's HER day!"? And then she gives Ji-ho money for a room which could be looked at like "oh she is giving her daughter all the money she saved" but all I could think was "why does your daughter have to leave? Why is she the one who needs the money? Why can't you protect you own daughter?".

 

In a way she has failed as a mother. She isn't terrible or evil but the way how Ji-ho hungers for affection, to be needed and to be loved even if she doesn't do great shows me her parents have failed. And in a way this needs to be a goal of the drama as well for Ji-ho's parents to realize their flaws and try to fix their relationship with their daughter.

 

Because even though there is Se-hee now and Ji-ho is happy with small things like  when he says "I need you" it's not his task to fill the hole in her heart. There are holes which can only be filled by the parents and personally I think Ji-ho's heart needs to be full, so she can also say "I like you, Se-hee".

 

I will get back to the issue in regards of Ji-ho and her friends later. :)

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11 hours ago, bebebisous33 said:

On the other hand, your observation about how JS and HR perceive men was an eye-opener. Both have a negative attitude towards them: they are objects or tools. In the end they are so passive, when it comes to men. You're right that JS could set boundaries but she doesn't, then resents men for her situation. Striking is that JS didn't notice that MSG did help her a little to get rid of the harassing manager. Sure, it wasn't that obvious but that is the kind of the thing that JH would have noticed. She noticed with a simple gesture SH's kindness. 

phew! am so glad that you were able to understand my post. so would agree with @lclarakl , @stroppyse , @bedifferent that JS sees herself as an object; regardless of our station, status or role, one should expect and receive dignity and respect in the way we treat others and how we treat ourselves as well. I say this with caution but if you see yourself as an object, then isn't it more likely that others also see yourself in the same way? ( just to explain so no one misunderstands my post:)

Spoiler

so there was a stupid guy in my office like that colleague in the drama. annoyingly, he was also sharing my desk space. so he was leech kind of character and would keep intruding into my space. I told him firmly that I have a very strict sense of space and he needs to keep all his belongings to his side of the desk and I had perfectly good ears and I can listen with him sitting over there. hahahaha.. he mocked me saying if I was traditional. (perhaps he assumed that because I wore some western outfits at times, I wasn't a traditional woman). I told him that I was proud to be a traditional, conservative _____ (region) girl. my other colleague then chuckled and said loudly that the stupid guy should be careful because _______ (region) women are known to be both traditional and very fierce. (no, we don't see it as an oxymoron which is why we have plenty of women in leadership in both government and corporate in my region). my other colleague then gave me polite respectful nod. so after, that, the stupid guy kept his distance.

 

again, this may be a cultural bias but I do think we need to treat and hold ourselves with dignity and respect (regardless of our station and role in life) first and then we expect it from others. the guys I have worked with are generally respectful and always treated with the traditional etiquette and boundaries. the smokers scene in the drama also irked me as they showed it like it is a boy's club. I am not a smoker but I would always go down with the lads (and some girls) and get myself a cup of tea while they smoked and gossiped. so much so that the lads would say when they are going down for a smoke and invite me along where I had my cup of tea and biscuits. so yea, there are good men and bad men everywhere and to paint the entire office in that drama as a bunch of morons irked me..

 

 

to assume that every guy out there is bad is really sad and thats why she didn't notice Ma's gesture of kindness. she was blind and didn't see his protectiveness or just assumed that it was because he wants to hit on her. there are good men who are respectful and careful with boundaries but of course they are appreciative of a woman's beauty just as we like good looking oppas. hahahahha.. it is not like appreciating one's beauty is akin to harassing a woman but JS seems to see it that way.

 

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@bebebisous33 and @Lmangla, love your posts with good points. However, one quick question: who is JS? Are we still talking about Ji Ho's friend Soo Ji? Or a different character? 

 

Sorry, but I think I'm following too many dramas right now since I'm starting to get confused on character initials. :) I think it's time for me to pare down what I'm watching. Just not sure what to let go since there are so many good dramas that I find interesting and entertaining right now...

 

 

@Lmangla, I do agree with you that women should treat themselves with dignity and respect, and also expect it from others without feeling the pressure to give in. Also, I do realize the drama is generalizing. However, sexism is still alive and active in a lot of places also. There are definitely guys who would only view women as inferior and good looking women as objects of sex. If those kinds of guys get into positions of power, they may not even think that what they are doing is sexual harassment and sexual discrimination, or worse.  And, sometimes, it is very hard for a woman to break into a male dominated domain. So, I'm rather glad to watch this drama and see how they address the social issues that seem prevalent in South Korea (and elsewhere) even if it's not discussed in any depth.

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that puppy and roar sound always get me and it always work literally bursted out laughing while seeing that scene and his way to convince father-in-law!!

 

Sehee: "Will you marry me?"
Jiho: "Yes."

Jiho: "Will you marry me?"
Sehee: "Yes."

THE BEST LINES EVER!!!

And with them both asking, "Do you like me?" and the answer being "No" from both

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