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Lynne

[Mainland Chinese Drama 2018] The Story of Ming Lan 庶女明兰传 / 知否?知否?应是绿肥红瘦

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3 minutes ago, fancia said:

MN love is extreme selfish love bordering to sickness like you're only mine and no one else can have you; I would rather kill you or your loved one than seeing you happy with someone else :crazy:

Same difference. 

I guess my view is that a woman should love herself first and foremost. Her family second, and her husband third. -_-

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In one of their conversation, GTY talks to ML about his different relationships with his father and stepmother. Basically, even though his relationship with his father was difficult, he was still able to freely express his emotion to father, his anger, his disappointment, because they're truly family. However, with his step mother, whether they were on good term or not, he's always been more careful, polite and reserved, maybe a little pretentious, because she's an outsider. His point is that right now, ML is treating him like an outsider, carefully choosing her words, polite in her action, reserved in her feelings and even a little pretentious sometimes, like when she answers "I believe you", when she actually not. Sucks for him that the obvious metaphor still somehow fly over her head :sweatingbullets: I get why she's like this, but I also get why he's pissed, I mean how many times does he have to tell her? She's  normally very smart, isn't she? Of course, it's frustrating to him that she's still genuinely not getting it =)))

 

His fear is that she's good to him because he's her guan ren, not her Er Lang. He's afraid that she would treat anyone who is her husband this dutifully, be it QH or HHW or him. So he wants her to love him because he's GTY, not because he happens to be her husband. He's not asking her to be jealous, he's asking for some signs that she has feelings for him. This is where his knowledge about her first love really hurt, as he has seen her love someone else before, willing to risk everything for that other guy before, her not willing to risk anything on him right now (or at least he thinks so) just emphasizes the difference.

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6 minutes ago, gleek49 said:

In one of their conversation, GTY talks to ML about his different relationships with his father and stepmother. Basically, even though his relationship with his father was difficult, he was still able to freely express his emotion to father, his anger, his disappointment, because they're truly family. However, with his step mother, whether they were on good term or not, he's always been more careful, polite and reserved, maybe a little pretentious, because she's an outsider. His point is that right now, ML is treating him like an outsider, carefully choosing her words, polite in her action, reserved in her feelings and even a little pretentious sometimes, like when she answers "I believe you", when she actually not. Sucks for him that the obvious metaphor still somehow fly over her head :sweatingbullets: I get why she's like this, but I also get why he's pissed, I mean how many times does he have to tell her? She's  normally very smart, isn't she? Of course, it's frustrating to him that she's still genuinely not getting it =)))

 

His fear is that she's good to him because he's her guan ren, not her Er Lang. He's afraid that she would treat anyone who is her husband this dutifully, be it QH or HHW or him. So he wants her to love him because he's GTY, not because he happens to be her husband. He's not asking her to be jealous, he's asking for some signs that she has feelings for him. This is where his knowledge about her first love really hurt, as he has seen her love someone else before, willing to risk everything for that other guy before, her not willing to risk anything on him right now (or at least he thinks so) just emphasizes the difference.

Agreed sis :thumbsup: you really nailed it.

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During various conversations between ML and Granny, Granny used to always say "As long as you understand, that's the most important."

In this case, I feel ML understands it better. 

 

ML may not love him the way he wants her to be. 

But it doesn't mean she doesn't love him the way she knows how.

The best she can. 

It's never easy to take a child her husband has with another woman as her own. 

She took Rong'er and treated her like her own. 

She was every step of the way with him in his search for Chang'er. 

She was his voice of reason when he loses his cool. 

She was there every step of the way for him.

She was protecting him and his reputation at every turn, with her every move. 

If someone tells me it's because it's her job and duty, she's doing one helluva fantastic job, above and beyond what's expected of any woman, really. 

 

It's not that she wants to push her to MN, 

It's not that she wanted to take the woman in. 

She knows how much he dotes on her, how much he protects her. 

She also knows how much everyone around them wants him dead, or down and out. 

She only wants to protect him the way she knows how. 

Her not taking in the woman might be what he wants right now, but that simply means more trouble for him when they just keeps coming non-stop. 

 

If he couldn't see the hurt in her eyes when he tries to make her feel jealous by saying he will stay with the new woman, clearly he's not paying attention enough. 

Having ML starting to be jealous and sad, in her mind, only gives him more trouble and worries. Why go there when it can be avoided?

If he can't see all that she's done, and he can't see her reactions with his actions, he clearly doesn't understand her very well...

 

He loved her because she's different from normal girls. 

Yet now he wants her to be like any other girl, fighting for his sole love and be jealous?

 

Talk is cheap. Anyone can tell him what he wants to hear. Action speaks louder than words. She said this to him when he last saved her. 

Yet, he can't seem to see it now...

 

 

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In my opinion, ML & GTY is a fated heaven made couple so no matter how hard the situation be, end of the day they will still end tog. Without realising both alr love each other, even tho ML didnt verbally confessed out loud yet her action her sacrifies to support GTY proof her love for him. Their r/ship will grow much more stronger once they had kids. Haha GTY shld work harder with ML making babies lol.

 

Anyway there are some men who like verbal lovey dovey, calling intimately can makes him more happier, I guess GTY is one of them, but on the other hand there are some women who find hard to voice out those intimate words as they felt embarass & shy. But all this can be overcome by more practice, just that the couple need to be more patience with him/her partner.

 

So fast how the time flies, seems the drama soon will end. I really misses our sweet cute young ML.

 

Here BTS & cast interviews

 

 

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I think he is way too pushy because the timeline of the novel made more sense. Here he needs to give her time.

But gty is right to say his frustration because if she doesn’t know she can’t try to compromise. In a healthy relationship you need to know where the other stands. She needs to be more open and he needs to go slow. It’s also a clash of personalities.

i agree that his fear is that like she was the dutiful daughter of the sheng, she is now his dutiful wife. It’s also a matter of communication.

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1 hour ago, dramaninja said:

Its cause and effect the reason he is acting this way because she keeps trying to push him into someone else arms of he will be upset.I thought he made it clear he does not want to be that type of guy at this point.

 

I mean does she not notice how much all of this upsets him?They get along so well its obvious she cares about him,they will get there I dont think it will take much.  

To me, she’s showing what she said right at the beginning, that he overheard. He loves her now, but if she believes and acts like it will be like this forever, she will be hurt when he inevitably disappoints her. She’s only ever been disappointed by her father. In this time a main wife can be divorced for being jealous and not letting concubines in. She’s protecting herself it’s true. But she knows she will be crushed if she trusts him not to go elsewhere. Has he actually promised her not to take any yet? She’s see her father be lead around by a concubine her whole life. She’s seen her main mother be hurt by her father.  And even then he goes and visits his other concubines enough to conceive her and her brother. It’s just so rare for a man to only have one woman that it’s almost a perversity in that society. She’s protecting herself. It doesn’t help that he teases her about it. That he basically wants her to show him jealously (that she can’t fake like other women can because he sees through her). She’s trying to give him her honest and best self while still being a good main wife. I feel bad for her more than him. He has all the advantages and one day whenever he wants to he can have another woman. And another. And another. And he would be lauded for it. I can’t blame her for protecting her heart. It’s her entire life.

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8 minutes ago, gleek49 said:

In one of their conversation, GTY talks to ML about his different relationships with his father and stepmother. Basically, even though his relationship with his father was difficult, he was still able to freely express his emotion to father, his anger, his disappointment, because they're truly family. However, with his step mother, whether they were on good term or not, he's always been more careful, polite and reserved, maybe a little pretentious, because she's an outsider. His point is that right now, ML is treating him like an outsider, carefully choosing her words, polite in her action, reserved in her feelings and even a little pretentious sometimes, like when she answers "I believe you", when she actually not. Sucks for him that the obvious metaphor still somehow fly over her head :sweatingbullets: I get why she's like this, but I also get why he's pissed, I mean how many times does he have to tell her? She's  normally very smart, isn't she? Of course, it's frustrating to him that she's still genuinely not getting it =)))

 

His fear is that she's good to him because he's her guan ren, not her Er Lang. He's afraid that she would treat anyone who is her husband this dutifully, be it QH or HHW or him. So he wants her to love him because he's GTY, not because he happens to be her husband. He's not asking her to be jealous, he's asking for some signs that she has feelings for him. This is where his knowledge about her first love really hurt, as he has seen her love someone else before, willing to risk everything for that other guy before, her not willing to risk anything on him right now (or at least he thinks so) just emphasizes the difference.

Good point...

 

News flash to GTY though, ML didn’t marry him because she was in love with him. GTY is not one to talk when he wanted to marry Yanran for the sake of MN and would treat Yanran well as a husband should. How fair is that then? He needs to stop forcing his standards on ML like calling him Erlang. It’s obvious she is not used to that and is a bit shy. Like what Ml said before, don’t expect too much or you’ll have too much disappointment and you start to hold grudges. 

 

ML is slowly loving GTY in her own way. They should love each other in their own way. What matters most at end of the day is that they have each other. And not think about the what if’s. No wonder they will have a big fight just because ML talked to QH. 

 

I agree though that the best thing in a relationship is having the person you love, love you that same way as you love them... Not one loving too much and not one loving too little.

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3 minutes ago, fra8 said:

I think he is way too pushy because the timeline of the novel made more sense. Here he needs to give her time.

But gty is right to say his frustration because if she doesn’t know she can’t try to compromise. In a healthy relationship you need to know where the other stands. She needs to be more open and he needs to go slow. It’s also a clash of personalities.

i agree that his fear is that like she was the dutiful daughter of the sheng, she is now his dutiful wife. It’s also a matter of communication.

Agree with u. 

Another is age gap, i think ML is far younger than GTY, i hope GTY be more patience to guide  & teach ML the way he want her to be.

On the other hand must bear in mind this couple has been attacked by many enemies internal & external. The closest is GTY's stepmom, huh i really hate his stepmom.

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10 minutes ago, lolalarue said:

 He has all the advantages and one day whenever he wants to he can have another woman. And another. And another. And he would be lauded for it. I can’t blame her for protecting her heart. It’s her entire life.

Yes, you nailed it. Pretty much how I felt when I saw MN. I did feel sorry for her even though she deserved it. It goes to show how a woman’s life in their time is really in the hands of the man in their life. 

 

@m0us3y Well said, it is why I know I am going to be so frustrated and sad when their upcoming fights happens regarding QH. 

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31 minutes ago, m0us3y said:

During various conversations between ML and Granny, Granny used to always say "As long as you understand, that's the most important."

In this case, I feel ML understands it better. 

 

ML may not love him the way he wants her to be. 

But it doesn't mean she doesn't love him the way she knows how.

The best she can. 

It's never easy to take a child her husband has with another woman as her own. 

She took Rong'er and treated her like her own. 

She was every step of the way with him in his search for Chang'er. 

She was his voice of reason when he loses his cool. 

She was there every step of the way for him.

She was protecting him and his reputation at every turn, with her every move. 

If someone tells me it's because it's her job and duty, she's doing one helluva fantastic job, above and beyond what's expected of any woman, really. 

 

It's not that she wants to push her to MN, 

It's not that she wanted to take the woman in. 

She knows how much he dotes on her, how much he protects her. 

She also knows how much everyone around them wants him dead, or down and out. 

She only wants to protect him the way she knows how. 

Her not taking in the woman might be what he wants right now, but that simply means more trouble for him when they just keeps coming non-stop. 

 

If he couldn't see the hurt in her eyes when he tries to make her feel jealous by saying he will stay with the new woman, clearly he's not paying attention enough. 

Having ML starting to be jealous and sad, in her mind, only gives him more trouble and worries. Why go there when it can be avoided?

If he can't see all that she's done, and he can't see her reactions with his actions, he clearly doesn't understand her very well...

 

He loved her because she's different from normal girls. 

Yet now he wants her to be like any other girl, fighting for his sole love and be jealous?

 

Talk is cheap. Anyone can tell him what he wants to hear. Action speaks louder than words. She said this to him when he last saved her. 

Yet, he can't seem to see it now...

 

 

Yes, I think both of them are not paying attention to each other enough and lack of real communication that's why there's all this misunderstanding; they need to speak their feeling truthfully, what it is that they truly want from each other rather than just talk with hints and in circle. This is good that there's this fight, so that they can better understand each other.

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2 hours ago, minglan1 said:

Isn't the guy at the polo match the one whom ML slashes with a sword in the earlier trailers?

They are different guys.

 

Spoiler

The guy at the Polo match is Shen Guo Jiu (empress’s younger brother) who is also general. 

I’m guessing the one ML going to slash is either one of GTY’s Bai relatives or someone from stepmom’s side. 

 

 

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1 hour ago, m0us3y said:

During various conversations between ML and Granny, Granny used to always say "As long as you understand, that's the most important."

In this case, I feel ML understands it better. 

 

ML may not love him the way he wants her to be. 

But it doesn't mean she doesn't love him the way she knows how.

The best she can. 

It's never easy to take a child her husband has with another woman as her own. 

She took Rong'er and treated her like her own. 

She was every step of the way with him in his search for Chang'er. 

She was his voice of reason when he loses his cool. 

She was there every step of the way for him.

She was protecting him and his reputation at every turn, with her every move. 

If someone tells me it's because it's her job and duty, she's doing one helluva fantastic job, above and beyond what's expected of any woman, really. 

 

It's not that she wants to push her to MN, 

It's not that she wanted to take the woman in. 

She knows how much he dotes on her, how much he protects her. 

She also knows how much everyone around them wants him dead, or down and out. 

She only wants to protect him the way she knows how. 

Her not taking in the woman might be what he wants right now, but that simply means more trouble for him when they just keeps coming non-stop. 

 

If he couldn't see the hurt in her eyes when he tries to make her feel jealous by saying he will stay with the new woman, clearly he's not paying attention enough. 

Having ML starting to be jealous and sad, in her mind, only gives him more trouble and worries. Why go there when it can be avoided?

If he can't see all that she's done, and he can't see her reactions with his actions, he clearly doesn't understand her very well...

 

He loved her because she's different from normal girls. 

Yet now he wants her to be like any other girl, fighting for his sole love and be jealous?

 

Talk is cheap. Anyone can tell him what he wants to hear. Action speaks louder than words. She said this to him when he last saved her. 

Yet, he can't seem to see it now...

 

 

She cant even see the hurt in him either thats pretty clear since  she keep doing the same things.

 

Its unfair to act like  he suppose to  notice everything when she  herself does not seem to notice how angry or sad he gets  with her suggestions  and such.

 

Like I said just because she does not mean something does not make it less hurtful to him,this happen many times

now.We cant just ignore is perspective in all of this and just see it from hers

 

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@cherubstomato

I watched the latest episodes raw. 

My heart just broke for her. 

 

She had a bad day at home with her own dad blatantly showing favouritism and on the brink of hitting her, and she came back to yet another one pushing for a woman for GTY. 

Yet, for the sake of his reputation, she still took the woman in, with a smile, because she feels her husband had enough to deal with at work for her to give him more to worry about. 

That night, GTY thought it would be good to push her for a reaction by staying the night with the woman...

 

The girl can't get a break!

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7 minutes ago, m0us3y said:

@cherubstomato

I watched the latest episodes raw. 

My heart just broke for her. 

 

She had a bad day at home with her own dad blatantly showing favouritism and on the brink of hitting her, and she came back to yet another one pushing for a woman for GTY. 

Yet, for the sake of his reputation, she still took the woman in, with a smile, because she feels her husband had enough to deal with at work for her to give him more to worry about. 

That night, GTY thought it would be good to push her for a reaction by staying the night with the woman...

 

The girl can't get a break!

For someone who's so astute and scheming I really don't understand why GTY is so blind to what he's doing to his wife. I would have thought he'd be smarter than this. She works so hard to be a good wife to him and I feel like he wants the kind of doting that Manniang (and Concubine Lin with Sheng Hong) "acted" out. We know they were both acting and Concubine Lin even admitted it. But Minglan has even said, he would know she was faking it, so what would be the point. I get he wants it to be real, but for it to be real he has to soothe the parts of her that can't give what he wants yet. He has to convince her. And that means explaining to her and promising her and then showing her what she needs to love him the way he needs. 

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7 minutes ago, m0us3y said:

@cherubstomato

I watched the latest episodes raw. 

My heart just broke for her. 

 

She had a bad day at home with her own dad blatantly showing favouritism and on the brink of hitting her, and she came back to yet another one pushing for a woman for GTY. 

Yet, for the sake of his reputation, she still took the woman in, with a smile, because she feels her husband had enough to deal with at work for her to give him more to worry about. 

That night, GTY thought it would be good to push her for a reaction by staying the night with the woman...

 

The girl can't get a break!

Agreed with you. Ml was attacked left and right. She has too many on her plate right now for her to sit still and analysed her feeling towards gty. If what she did now were not consider as cherishing him, i dunno what else she can do. Did gty expect her to cry and throw jealousy tantrums everytime someone want to gift  concubines to gty to show her love? Or inverstigate every woman that gty had slept with? Or scold him in front if her maids, screaming at him like what danniang did, bawling her eyes like linniang did.. That's not her character. 

What she did is defending his honor everytime someone try to insult him, protecting his home from his stepmother machination even she went ti extra length and outwitted the empress dowager for him. 

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37 minutes ago, dramaninja said:

She cant even see the hurt in him either thats pretty clear since  she keep doing the same things.

 

Its unfair to act like  he suppose to  notice everything when she  herself does not seem to notice how angry or sad he gets  with her suggestions  and such.

 

Like I said just because she does not mean something does not make it less hurtful to him,this happen many times now.

 

Actually she can, but she simply doesn't understand why he would be...this is the part I agree she is a lil dense. Because U can see that she knows he's mad, and would try to pacify him...

 

To her, she's trying to help him solve the problems, find his son, reduce his troubles and worries.. 

Like another chingu said, every husband would want a wife who's virtuous and accept the other women of his.

GTY is, in this aspect, way more progressive than that of the era. 

 

I do agree with @fancia though. Just go to the point, and stop talking in circles and hints!

Difference is this. One is unable to see with her rational mind, the other is trying to invoke a reaction with action, intentionally...

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14 minutes ago, lolalarue said:

For someone who's so astute and scheming I really don't understand why GTY is so blind to what he's doing to his wife. I would have thought he'd be smarter than this. She works so hard to be a good wife to him and I feel like he wants the kind of doting that Manniang (and Concubine Lin with Sheng Hong) "acted" out. We know they were both acting and Concubine Lin even admitted it. But Minglan has even said, he would know she was faking it, so what would be the point. I get he wants it to be real, but for it to be real he has to soothe the parts of her that can't give what he wants yet. He has to convince her. And that means explaining to her and promising her and then showing her what she needs to love him the way he needs. 

I dont get this when she just as blind  as what she is doing to her  husband again I dont get this one sided thing going on.

 

You think what she doing isnt hurtful to him as well?I dont get this really this was no small matters at all.

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