Does long distance relationship ever work out?

[Jinhee86]

Hi everyone. I'm curious to find out if anyone else have made long distance possible in their relationship?
Most people told me that it won't last, but what are the secrets to those who can make it work?

[zantac_2]

both have to have solid foundations and desires in being together physically. i think what seperates the failures from the success stories is that one (or both) arent fully committed to actually developing a real relationship. its easy and fun talking with each other for countless hours over a medium, but pointless if they have no desire in being a real physical couple.

where an established couple faces a scenario where both will be separated by long distances, committment and tenacity is a must. and this is more of a personality thing. some people arent geared for this. and in this case, its upto the individuals to find out whether they are compatible in this aspect. and of course a bit of luck and being naive helps.

i havent been in one. but this is how i would approach long distance if im ever given an opportunity to enter into one.

[temudjin]

Hello,

I  was personally in a distance relationship until a few weeks.
What I can say is that, if love takes you by surprise and you find yourself in love with a distant partner, if you really love him/her, you can give it a try, but do NOT look for distance relationship.
I'll explain a bit my personal case. I had a more than three years long relationship with my ex-girlfriend. We met by hazard on the web, and we started it, we didn't really have any idea of what we were doin'. But time proved that we were realy compatible, and even if we couldn't meet very often, we stayed "strong". But then, when came time for higher education studies, we had even less time to chat during our free time, and my girlfriend ended up by not feeling anything anymore when we finally met for the last time, and it just ended this way.
So yeah, don't try distance relationship unless you're really sure of what it means.

Sorry, my english may suck.

[shaselai]

Hi - yes it does but YMMV. 

My sister and my brother in law is a good example:

They met at a party and they hit it off and began dating for couple of months. He was going to start residency at that time and ended up being sent to CA and my sister is at CT. It was maybe 2 years of long distance relationship and they both made commitment of flying to either coast and doing roadtrips etc. I dont know how good the "conference" technology was but it was back in 2004... so no facetime and doubt even skype had  video . 

I actually tried long distance myself and it didn't work out due to distance from the other party. One thing i did notice is that you need to build something FIRST -  a foundation of sorts together then if the other party will be long distance there's something to build on. If you start long distance then it is hard to go from "friends" to "boy/girl friend". But if you have established "boy/girl friend" then there's more  reason to keep it going. 

[wildflowers]

On June 24, 2016 at 3:01 PM, Jinhee86 said:

Hi everyone. I'm curious to find out if anyone else have made long distance possible in their relationship?
Most people told me that it won't last, but what are the secrets to those who can make it work?

I never have experience LDR, but i dont think it will work on me. 

Communicate, trust, honest, and love. 

[vanessatan]

Hi everyone, 

It's very glad for me to know this topic despite it has been a significant amount of time for me to become a member of this forum. Talk about long distance relationship, I and my current boyfriend is in such relationship. To be honest, it is the arrangement of destiny (at least in our thought). I met him just once before he go on business in a distant city in my country. My living city and his is about 1000km far away from each other. He is a friend of my colleague and we met each other in the early of this year. After he went to another city for business, he contacted me (through Facebook) and we chat together. It has been 6 months up to now. I am not sure that our relationship will last forever but untill now, I feel that he is my ideal partner. Every night, we call (video call or normal phone call using free app) each other to talk (for about 2-3 hours). Despite there are times we feel boring about the love because we cannot see directly or touch each other, we still feel happy about our love up to now. He has flied to my city 3 weeks ago and this night is the second time he flies to my city. I am very eager to meet him so I share my story to everyone. In my thought, long distance relationship works but to make it work for a long time, it is important for the two partners to set some basic rules for the relationship. For my relationship, he and I set a rule that we should inform to the other person about the schedule (not every) of us to help them feel confirmed and safe. For example, if this evening, I have a date with my friends, and have to come back home at late night, I will inform him in advance. That way, we all feel comfortable about the other and insecure about the relationship. The next tip is to regularly say loving words to each other, such as "I love you" or "I miss you", etc. Because couples in long distance relationships do not have chances to hang out or stay by side each other, that means actions are hard to be carried out. In such cases, words could help somehow. We say loving words to each other as a way to affirm the affections of us. The next tip is to trust each other and build trust also, and stay our own lives. Do not depend too much on the other person because it just makes you stay out of control of your feelings, such as suspect, jealousy,...

Hope that my experience can help answer your question about if long distance relationship work. In fact, it is hard to say about future, but I think we should live for the presence to enjoy the best of our lives and also the moments of happiness that we can have. 

 

[jess1ca xd]

My boyfriend and I just recently broke up due to long distance.. He left to go study, and then, like later on, he began to lose feelings. I tried my best to keep things working, but he wasn't being committed to the relationship. There are people who are successful, and some who are not. It depends on the person.

[Latte_Anyday]

I wouldn't call it a relationship but more of a friendship instead. And mind you it went on for over a decade (I'm amazed it lasted for as long as it did!) Anyways, we've fallen out and I guess keeping long distance relationships or friendships are rough. There needs to be a lot of trust involved and even that gets tiring. As for me, it was complicated because my friend insists I don't divulge enough of my life with her which is untrue 'cause I tell her stuff more than I tell my Mom so yea it's over. She just started grating on my nerves & we were fighting over petty things it was all very stupid but I guess deep down we know it was long overdue. We just didn't want to give up 'cause so much time has been invested already. What to do? Life sucks & disappoints *shrug* We need to pick up the pieces and move on...

[ru5h]

LDR now u can skype and face to face each other

[pamelasousa]

Hiii.... Yes I think long distance relationships work out. All you need is understanding and patience in your partner.

[itsjustlisaah]

Personally, I can never do LDR. I need physical affection; the whole, holding hands, kissing, hugging. I need all of that along with a strong emotional bond. I know that it wouldn't work out with me. Given, maybe the first couple of weeks will be good but other than that- it won't work. 

[emytran]

Ahhhhh. Good topic. Because I used to think the same as op. But turns out, it worked for me. 

My significant other drove 6 hours to my school to ask me out. So our relationship started as a long distant one. (We knew each other at the previous school). 

The thing that work in our favor was that we loved to talk to each other. We would talk for hours over the phone ever night. In our whole 3 years long distant relationship, we only skipped once or twice. We will try to see each other every break. He came to my dorm one weekend almost every month. 

Of course it gets boring at times. Some days I feel like I don't even have a boy friend. When we fight, we promise not to make anything definitive over the phone. Only when we see each other, then we can do that (break up for what ever). Of course, when we see each other's we always realized why we loved each other's and how much we missed being together. I wouldn't even remember what we fight about. And we fought, A LOT!!

After 4 years of being in school and in a long distant relationship for 3 and a half year, we were engaged. Now, we've moved in and lived together for about half of a year, and planning to get married. 

It will work, but it will take two strong people to do it together. 

 

[CamelKnight]

15 hours ago, emytran said:

When we fight, we promise not to make anything definitive over the phone.

This is what makes your long-distance-relationship work. A set of rules you both adhere by in all situations. By not making any definitive decisions over the phone, you give your relationship the chance to work out those difficult kinks, knots and loose ends.

An awesome example of how LDR's can certainly work out really well. I'm happy for the both of you

[oryxncrake]

No.

Proof: Me

[eternal.happiness]

I dated someone long distance years ago but I was young and it didn't work out. But we lost touch for a couple of years and are talking again as friends. Even if it didn't workout, I still made a good friend out of it all.

For a long distance relationship to work, I think commitment, communication, understanding and trust are a combination of things that are required to make it work for the two people involved in the relationship. I don't think it can be entirely long distance and effort would have to be made to meet in real life every so often otherwise I personally do not see as a real relationship rather a virtual relationship. 

[hansuk23]

I think it is work. I am in long distance relationship now. all we need do is understanding to each other, my bf and I have the same hobby it is playing a game and even if we are on LDR we can still play together. 

[luvette]

Yes it can! It takes communication, honesty, commitment, loyalty, trust, and faith that it will work out. Both people have to constantly make the effort to make the relationship succeed. LDR aren't forever and you guys will spend so much more time building a more mental and emotional connection.  

[didieraubin]

A long distance relationship is not a good idea 

It is really hard to control your emotion, to communicate well, and to trust in other. I don't say it is impossible, but it is really really hard. Although you and your beloved believe in each other, sometimes, one can meet a new person, go to dating. If the new one is good enough, it will be the end of your relationship. 

[missteri]

For me it did!

This is a very difficult question because there can be several answers. I remember trying to find an answer on the internet as well.

If you get through the hardships, you'll find that it is worth it if you really love the person.

I don't have any regrets and for me it was an experience I will never forget.

Communication is the most important thing.

If you know you can trust the person, why not?

It also depends if you're willing to put that much time and effort because a normal relationship is already difficult at times, imagine all the factors you need to consider in maintaining a long distance one.

[tenshi]

Depends on how LONG the distance is. I started dating my now husband right after my high school graduation and 2 months later had to leave the state for college 2.5 hours away while he attended college at home. We just celebrated our 10 year anniversary last year. 

 

It's all about the effort and patience you put into the relationship. Keeping each other updated with your life, making the time and effort to visit each other, etc. 

 

2.5 hours away is far, but do-able in a day trip. If you lived like across the country and couldn't visit one another without a plane ride...then i probably wouldn't be as optimistic.