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When is the right time to move in with your bf or gf?


MissAria

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I'm not in a relationship right now, it's just the people around me that I feel are rushing things.. Well, I can't really judge because I did not experience that, so I don't feel I can't tell them that they are rushing things and if it doesn't work they would have to move out, find another place to live, find new roommates when they could just date for a bit longer before moving in together... 

I wonder what is the right time to move in with your boyfriend and girlfriend ?

There's a lot of factors...

1. Age

2. Where are you in life : studying, working, or both, just got engaged...

3. Did you know that person a long time before dating ?

4. How long have you been seriously dating ?

5. Or it just doesn't matter because  they can learn about each other more, see if they can live together and if it doesn't work well the relationship just end and move on... 

 

What do you guys think ?

63ee17b0-aead-0131-d8ef-761c536c8a9d.jpg 

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I think it depends on how comfortable you are with each other, age is definitely a factor. As you get older and have a stable job, experimenting with living together might be less stress than if you were 16, or still in school. Honestly I don't think moving in when you're still in school is a good idea, there is just too much distraction and you have to juggle to many things at once, your studies, your bf/gf, but after you have a stable career, I guess it's any time you feel comfortable and is ready to take it to the next step with your partner. I'm a very private person, so in order for me to accept another person living in my place, I must feel that this person and I will have some sort of future together, otherwise I won't open up to anyone like this.

There's no saying which is the best time to move in together, but you should have enough trust with your partner if you decide to live together that's for sure, not for nothing, there's a lot of scary/crazy people out there so you have to have good judgment skills and be wise otherwise you could get hurt from the situation. With relationships you have to be willing to take the risk to actually gain something more out of it, I mean both partners have to be willing to contribute and make effort in order for it to work and strengthen the bond between the two.

Funny how most of my friends have a stable relationship, but they're all living separately with their parents, and I'm actually the one that has their partner move in and live together with (I guess it's because I live alone, it's less of a hassle). At first, my friends would ask me the same thing too, because they felt that we haven't been dating for a super long time, maybe 6 months or so, but I feel we've known each other for a while, started off as good friends, so when we were actually dating I felt we knew enough about each other and felt comfortable with living together. To me, that was a big leap, because I seem to have trust issues and low (fine, mild) degree of paranoia, I'm the kind of "it's better to be safe than sorry" type of person, so making the decision living together with my bf was both exciting and "different" that I had to adjust to for a bit, but overall I trust him that's what made me open up to him. On a side note, just want to add that before we decided to live together, whenever my bf came to visit (he's from LA & I'm from NY, we travel back and forth between the two for our jobs) he would stay over at my place and over time we just felt comfortable enough with each other to decide to live together afterwards. 

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I'm not in a relationship right now, it's just the people around me that I feel are rushing things.. Well, I can't really judge because I did not experience that, so I don't feel I can't tell them that they are rushing things and if it doesn't work they would have to move out, find another place to live, find new roommates when they could just date for a bit longer before moving in together... 

I wonder what is the right time to move in with your boyfriend and girlfriend ?

There's a lot of factors...

1. Age

2. Where are you in life : studying, working, or both, just got engaged...

3. Did you know that person a long time before dating ?

4. How long have you been seriously dating ?

5. Or it just doesn't matter because  they can learn about each other more, see if they can live together and if it doesn't work well the relationship just end and move on... 

 

What do you guys think ?

63ee17b0-aead-0131-d8ef-761c536c8a9d.jpg 

I think moving in together is a really important decision that too many people take lightly. I think the most important question for me would be "Are we moving in together for the right reasons?" because I know too many couples who just want to be away from their parents, save money on rent and move in together because it "makes sense" or are simply just really in love with each other. I don't really think any of those reasons are really enough to warrant a couple moving in together. 

For me, the right reason would be if I wanted to eventually get married/spend the rest of my life with that person and it takes us one step closer to that goal. What really is the point of moving in together if I dont want to eventually marry this guy? In that case, they'd just be a roommate/splitter of rent and responsibilites to me.

Along with that, I need to know that we are both financially responsible, are able to have mature discussions/arguments, can be responsible with household chores and such and are able to give each other space. I seriously need my space and if my boyfriend wants to spend every moment with me, I'd probably go nuts lol 

A bunch of my friends told me that if you can survive a vacation with someone - not just an all-inclusive getaway - and you don't want to kill each other by the end of it, you'd probably be okay moving in together. My boyfriend and I spent two weeks road-tripping down to the States and back and it actually made our bond that much stronger. We have talked a lot about it, but I still am more traditional and want to wait until marriage for that, so we'll see what happens lollol

But all in all, I think we are at the right age, right place in our lives, we've known each other long enough and have been dating long enough to consider taking this step.

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  • 1 month later...

There is never a right moment to move in. 

Only that person knows; i guess you can call it the sixth sense. For me, the only reason I would move in with a person is after marriage. It is a very traditional thinking but the only person that I want to be with, spend the rest of my life with is my husband and noone else. Also I need to know that we are financially responsible for all the surrounded things, mutually understand each other, connect on the deeper level, and are on the same page. I wouldnt want to move in with someone to fight/argue/bicker constantly over big or small things. That can be very emotionally and physically draining.

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For me it was roughly 2 years due to long distance previously but now we ain't. Sure she stayed over for long period before. 2-4 weeks a few times a year. Early 20's at the time and starting our professional careers.

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  • 2 weeks later...

This question has no specific answer. That is my opinion. It is because it depends on each relationship and each individual. For some, just a few months could be enough to make them move in to live with each other, but for others, it may take years. What matters here is that how comfortable two partners feel about each other. They just move in to live with each other when they feel comfortable with the presence of the other person, without having to hide something about themselves. So, to me, the right time to move in with your bf or gf is when I feel comfortable with his or her presence around me regularly. But, you should also acknowledge that some people will take the other person for granted once they are too familiar with each other. Acknowledge the reasons why men often run away after sleeping with a girl so you will not fall into that mess. For some people, they think that moving in with their bf and gf is one of necessary things to do before getting married. So, consider it.

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