I try to socialize with people and it turns awkward!

[Crunchyrunchy]

The first person I tried to socialize was an Asian-American female. The conversation gone pretty well until the topic centered upon her religion. I asked her how come you follow this religion and she replied with.. Because my parents follows it. I was confused. Did she follow the religion entirely because of her parents or did she find a personal interest in it? Anyways, I just chalk it up as a little of both.

So to continue the conversation, I asked her to tell me about her religion. Now this was where the conversation went wrong. She completely blanked and said "what"? Er... I don't know?....  I was flabbergasted at her response. How do you not know anything about your religion to eloquently articulate to me about ideologies that you followed for almost ALL YOU LIFE?  What the richard simmons?

 

The second person I talked to was a Caucasian male. We talked about a variety of topics ranging from school/life and etc. I noticed that this person was really articulate. He kept on talking and talking to the point where I barely got the chance to talk. Not sure what I would do in this situation.. Do I just nod and nod and wait patiently until he stops talking? It gets tiring to do that.

 

Anyway, such a massive difference between the two I would say.

 

I don't know what to do!!

[raymondc27]

i would say religious belief section is a nono , everyone has their own thoughts towards that and i would and never like to step into a debate or truly know about it, why throw yourself under the bus right?

the guy, just say you got to go and run for your life lol.

[Crunchyrunchy]

i would say religious belief section is a nono , everyone has their own thoughts towards that and i would and never like to step into a debate or truly know about it, why throw yourself under the bus right?

the guy, just say you got to go and run for your life lol.

Except that I wasn't engaging her into a debate. I just asked her to tell me more about her religion. I wasn't comparing or contrasting.

 

[raymondc27]

yes but when you do ask it gets defensive. 

because i believe many who are born into religion truly don't understand the perspective of it. i went to a few church and asked around, they usually say i'm there because i have to

[raymondc27]

hmmm im born into religion too .... but i dont truly follow it sometimes and while i do believe it  i wont say im bind to my religion  

its alright, just be bind to me

[Crunchyrunchy]

hmmm im born into religion too .... but i dont truly follow it sometimes and while i do believe it  i wont say im bind to my religion  

So? That wasn't the problem. I just found it awkward that she couldn't articulate something that she basically have to deal with for the rest of her life. What religion were you born to?

[Crunchyrunchy]

hmmm im born into religion too .... but i dont truly follow it sometimes and while i do believe it  i wont say im bind to my religion  

 

So? That wasn't the problem. I just found it awkward that she couldn't articulate something that she basically have to deal with for the rest of her life. What religion were you born to?

im a Buddhist but sometimes i said im more Taoism lols...basically i will says it depend on what kind of mind set individual have....while i truly believe in what i was brought up in....i'm always open for opinion and discussion as i know what you see sometimes is not what others see and what you believe in maybe not be what other believe in  

so i choose to respect other opinions of what they thought and say out loud...this way it wont create any awkward situation or lessen it at the very least  

Interesting so how does your religion influence your everyday routine?

Do you personally see Buddhism more as a philosophy or a religion? I am curious because I read somewhere that Buddha don't want his followers to know him as a god. Just as an adviser.

[nn_nn]

there will always be people that you instantly click with and some you dont. And like some had said above/before me, certain topics are quite sensitive & unless you want to throw yourself under the bus dont do it lol

[Guest HERMIT]

I encounter the same kind of problems as you when I attempt to socialize.

This is why I invested in an air horn and a taser.

Depending upon the situation, I resort to using either one of these two things to kinda help dispel the awkwardness.

[abbysomeone]

The first person I tried to socialize was an Asian-American female. The conversation gone pretty well until the topic centered upon her religion. I asked her how come you follow this religion and she replied with.. Because my parents follows it. I was confused. Did she follow the religion entirely because of her parents or did she find a personal interest in it? Anyways, I just chalk it up as a little of both.

So to continue the conversation, I asked her to tell me about her religion. Now this was where the conversation went wrong. She completely blanked and said "what"? Er... I don't know?....  I was flabbergasted at her response. How do you not know anything about your religion to eloquently articulate to me about ideologies that you followed for almost ALL YOU LIFE?  What the richard simmons?

 

The second person I talked to was a Caucasian male. We talked about a variety of topics ranging from school/life and etc. I noticed that this person was really articulate. He kept on talking and talking to the point where I barely got the chance to talk. Not sure what I would do in this situation.. Do I just nod and nod and wait patiently until he stops talking? It gets tiring to do that.

 

Anyway, such a massive difference between the two I would say.

 

I don't know what to do!!

I think you had nothing but good intentions but if you just met someone, I would advise against bringing up religion until you know them on a much more personal level. The reason being, it's a very personal issue for most. Even though you probably asked in a very pleasant, non-judgemental way, it can make people uneasy because of the potential for a heated response. Personally, when I get to know people, I sometimes feel like I'm on a job interview, worse, the hot seat, if they ask too many probing questions. 

Overall, it's a good idea to follow the rules of bar-tending when you first meet. The three rules of bar-tending are: You don't discuss politics, religion, or race. Now I know you had no intention of discussing anything controversial like race or politics, but it's not bad to take a page from that ideology in general where it pertains to religion. Maybe next time avoid the subject all together. Having said that, I'm thinking she probably should have been able to gauge that you were asking out of cultural curiosity and she should have been able to answer, at least in part. 

The second person unfortunately is not uncommon and there isn't much you can do there other than exactly what you did. I too stay so silent that they hopefully catch on that they are dominating the conversation. I find people like that tend to interrupt which is a habit that makes me crazy. If someone interrupts me several times to pontificate, I will disengage politely but entirely. If a person talks at you instead of with you, buh-bye.