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Guest orchidlover
Posted

Ah...I would be very careful.  If you do not want to have sex, who cares if you are 28 and still virgin.  Make sure he's not only looking for sex. Some men get super excited when they hear that you are still a virgin.  I did the online dating thing too.

Posted

@Orchidloverlol I dont want to die as an old virgin maid haha jkjk that was why I tested his patience and he failed the test. We are still friends, but I want more. 
when we were dating whenever I brought up the issue, he said "i cannot help but being physically attracted to you okay?" I cannot go into a relationship with someone I am not physically attracted to. he did try to not do anything but after a while its back to square one. We got into a HUGE argument once and he said well all the other girls I dated, we had sex a week into dating even 2 days. 
seems like the online dating is to broad for me. I dont know. just want to find someone I can connect mentality emotionally and physically but the physical is last on my prioritize listis it going well for you at least

Guest orchidlover
Posted

@nn_nnsounds to me he's only interested in sex.  I lost it to my ex when I was 22, I have known him since 17.  He didn't pressure me into anything I didn't want.  Online dating guys seem to be more about sex.  I went on a  first date with a guy I met online and he suggested to sleep over at his place on the first date.  Oh, not to mention that he didn't want to have dinner with me until he sees that I am pretty.  Oh, and the guy was super cheap.  Anyway, I didn't respond to his texts after the first date.  I wasn't impressed.

Posted

Not every online date has to be like that, my boyfriend asked me to wait with the sex. We have been living together for five years, but this is one of those rare cases.

You can be proud of you in being so cautious! You never know if the guy you are dating is really serious or single. One year ago I was in all guy class.....and a few guys used to have 2-3 girlfriend at once and they met them all online.

So if you are unsure about this guy and you notice that he is rushing when it comes to sex, dump him. Believe me I have experience in online dating.




Posted

@orchidloverI know, i met one that are somewhat like that.
i told my friends about it and they all advise me to dump him. But when i told my guy friend, he said that he does like me. I am confused lol we had so many serious talk about where we are standing and stuff. He said we need to work out our difference before jumping into a relationship because he wants it to last at least more than a year
@minjinhe wasnt rush into sex, more like physical stuff no sex. he never pressure me into sex, just express how we feel physically

Posted

he seems ok, maybe you are the one who doesn't like him, not the other way around. He seems to have been really patient with you, but why stay when there are so many arguments and he doesn't even get to sleep with you? I might have broken up with you too. I think I understand a little bit more now when he says he is not ready for you to meet his friends. I just read TOPBIGBANG's thread, kinda similar story actually... her "bf" or w/e acts differently around his friends than when he is with her, that's actually quite normal, even though it's bad, but it's normal because they have pride and they don't want their bros making fun of him because he's all googly over some girl. Also, people act differently in every friend group they're a part of naturally- because you made friends with each of the diff friend groups via diff things. So maybe you're bf knows he is prone to this acting diff behavior and wanted to spare you that part. either that or he told his bros something diff regarding who he's actually dating. Other than that, he seems like a pretty good bf. You seem wildly uncomfortable about his "hands going everywhere". That's what happens; therefore it seems like you're the one who doesn't like him enough.

Posted

@‌ninsharks No i do like him, but I am trying to save myself from getting hurt. yes i am uncomfortable because when he does that it only makes me feel hes in for the sex. I told him on our first date that I am looking for a serious relationship. If youre looking for sex then go somewhere else. I want to respect myself, earn respect from the guy that I am going to be in a relationship. I want to discover how compatible beside being physically attracted to each other. Also I take sex serious, if I sleep with a guy, I want to know that he is taking us serious too.
 I would not know what he told his friends or has another one on the side. From his action and what I see. He always pick up my calls regardless of where he is or tell me thay he cannot right away because he's at work or in class. He shown me photos of all his friends, their names and how they met and all. He basically told me alot of stuff about them. Once he told me that they teased him about us because he would go to a different room whenever we talk on the phone.

Posted

I seriously don't think he's in it just for sex, but he definitely expects it if he's in it. does that make sense? I think that you are taking it too far on those terms, you believing that he wants it so much- and saying that means he only wants that?? that's not true, he would have left after 3 weeks if he were only after sex. just because he wants it a lot does not mean he only wants that. I think he has been patient with you enough. sex is important in a relationship between two adults. keeping the relationship pretty much platonic at that age is really wishful thinking. 6 months is a long time, I'm surprised he held out so long. that's exactly what my friends told me, when I held out on a girl for that long.

Posted

He clearly isn't in it for purely sex

I mean come on... 6 months? In this day and age, a guy in their 20s waiting 4 months for sex is a big rarity, let alone 6.

Based on his actions, he clearly cares about you. You're way too hard on him. Careful now, eventually he'll move onto somebody else if you continue to push him away.

Switch this situation around and I would dump the guy myself. An adult relationship has several components, one being the sexual. It's important too.

But if you're really that paranoid, probably best to just date a very religious person, that way you'll feel more secure.

Posted

@Ninsharks @mintcrackersthat is not even all of what has happen. Yes I understand that he have been really patience with me & trying to work things out so we can actually become something more in the future. However whenever we try to compromise on the issue, it is always leads to more misunderstanding & always about sex. Which makes me think that is what all he wants, and in for. Yes I understand what you mean at the sentence about @ninshark. There is a certain degree to how you should say things.
also I am not much of a PDA person; so for him to actually grab my butt, chest, and touch my private parts in public is too much.

Posted

He's a guy in his 20s who dated you for 6 months. Of course he'd be frustrated. How are you compromising? Seems like you just keep ur distance.

But if he is really grabbing ur chest in public, that's a little unnecessary. The butt thing is alright, it's been 6 months...Not one date.

Posted

@mintcrackersexactly, I really dont mind about the butt grabbing. Other things he shouldve done it in private. And the last time we fought about the issue, he told me that other girls that he dated in the past, they would jumped in the sheet with him the least is 2 days or even a week. (i am not like other girls he dated/seen or whatever the hek. I am me/ I am not religious or whatever. I dont mind admitting that I want sex just as bad as him but at the same time i dont want it to be the only part that held our relationship together) Simple things like this proved to him that our mentality is not on the same level, he is experience and I am not. we dont see eye to eye on a lot of other issues.My respond was we kept having this fight because I care for you alot more now. Also sex is a big step for me. Sometimes sex will cloud up our judgment and make us think that it is actually love when it is actually just lust. I want to know that we are connected more than just physical. And i do want us to be exclusive. 
Our compromise? well whenever the issue arised, and i addressed it. He told me that "fine I wont do it anymore". I told him that i want to wait until we are certain with where things are going first, because once i am involved sexually, i will get attached. I feel like theres more to us then what meets the eyes. I want us to understand each other better, find our compatibilities beside being physically. He told me that he will cook for me to distracted himself from touching me. i told him, "okay thank you, i dont mind when you touch my butt, just dont get too crazy. I am not going to have sex with you" then he got frustrated and said "why is it that whenever im trying to show you how much i care for you, you in return think that i am in it for the sex" he also said that "he does not feel too good about us because we are always argue on the same issue, and it does not help us to fully better understand each other. He is afraid that if we stubbornly ignore our incompatibility and get together anyways, we will fall into a black pit hole"

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