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so part II to your question @sushilicious:

 

like @Sarang21 was saying yesterday, what on earth is this argument that if you are a women, you should automatically support the woman? the truth is until we have the facts, we cannot be sure who is in the right or wrong or there is a right and wrong. in some relationships, both are clearly at fault. in some instances, cheating is merely a symptom but there were other issues. in others, cheating is the cause for the relationship breakdown. so basically there are all sorts of varied dynamics.

 

also, this is my personal take but it feels like an insult to assume that all men are bad. why? because we are born from a father, have brothers, relatives, friends, colleagues and even strangers who have showed themselves with honour. to assume automatically that men are etc etc etc is indirectly insulting all the good men there are around. it is forgetting that women can also be bad and vindictive and cruel and just as capable of devious acts. and yes, there are women who lie and accuse to get their way.

 

so when it comes to relationships breaking down, we need to hear everything before we decide someone is at fault. the truth is often more complicated and not that simple.

 

* no number

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13 hours ago, Sarang21 said:

I live in Germany and has never heard anything about him until now :joy:. What´s his name?

@Sarang21  His name is Gerhard Shroeder. Tried copying the link but can't-I'm pretty bad at computers. He's 73 years old I think. He met his 5th South Korean wife when he was working there and she was the translator. Now apparently her ex husband is trying to get him for adultery because it happened b4 the adultery laws changed. The SK wife claimed that she and her ex were already living apart for some time so she said it wasn't adultery.:phew: They were still legally married,Hello !That's why it made the news cos the ex wants her punished for committing adultery. You can google "ex German ambassador marries South Korean wife" and everything's there. 

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13 hours ago, sushilicious said:

Then do you have any sisters who have a family that have triple M?

No ler . I chose triple M cuz it’s the initials of my name , hubs & kiddo . Lol! Yes all start with M . :joy:

 

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8 hours ago, sushilicious said:

Question to all. Why is it so typical for the guy to be the one to blame?is it possible to have the girl as the instigator?

 

Let's discus this :)

 

Actually it's possible. I have seen some nasty girls but they get away with it. Maybe boys don't take those matter seriously like girls, it didn't become big deal or maybe those girls are good are setting shield. It's not men are bad or women are bad. Bad people exists in both genders.

 

I don't know how Western think on this. In most Asian countries, many women still have the mindset of portraying men as bad creatures. Some are so against every actions of the men. This maybe because of suppressing women in the history. Current society is changing, but there are people still trapped in those thinking. After all, men and women have different style of thinking and handling the problems. We just need to respect each other. Biasing and blaming gender won't solve the problem.

 

I love @Lmangla 's analysis.

 

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10 hours ago, sushilicious said:

 

Question to all. Why is it so typical for the guy to be the one to blame?is it possible to have the girl as the instigator?

 

Let's discus this :)

 

604-6042988_c-dinosaur-by-anime-chibi-dino-girl-hd.pnggiphy.gifdrogon.gif

 

After reading so many comments even here about these latest couples I think what was typical once isn't typical any longer and it's because society and for many their way of life and thinking has changed too.  Whether in reality or even fantasy the view and roles of men and women is constantly changing around us. Speaking from dinosaur land my being the girl on the left with glasses about a woman being an instigator not only is it possible in many cases it's probable.  For it goes both ways...

 

It's not so much about being Male or Female but about each persons choices, personalities and principles.  It's more about the truth it's about the where,why and when did the breakdown between them happen. The facts that we will never see or even know.  I'm not even sure if it's a matter of sides because all to often the blame shouldn't be looked at as one sided, it's often shared.  A mixture of so many things even excuses and for so many individual reasons as countless as the stars.  Even though so many are just lies covered up by the skin of desperation, hurt and revenge.  It's sad to think that two people who cared so much end up caring so little.

Maybe that's the saddest part of all witnessing a relationships rise and fall...

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18 hours ago, Sarang21 said:

I live in Germany and has never heard anything about him until now :joy:. What´s his name?

 

You never heard about our former Bundeskanzler Gerhard Schröder? :D He married a south korean translator a few months back, it went through the media for quite a bunch of reasons. He asked his ex-wife Doris Schröder-Köpf to give his name back, since he wanted his current wife to be the only one with this last name. He is more than 25years older than her. Honestly I would be impressed, wouldn't she be almost 50years. :ph34r:

 

It true though that he married a couple of times, but I never heard he has the nickname Audi. He isn't very present anymore these days, since his party is in hard times currently and he wasn't the most popular Bundeskanzler aswell. 

 

10 hours ago, sushilicious said:

Question to all. Why is it so typical for the guy to be the one to blame?is it possible to have the girl as the instigator?

 

Because we are supposed to endure it and society in general doesn't expect us to suffer. Men are also easier targets since it's not very uncommon for guys to cheat. I think it's a mixture of different things. If things are unclear, the male part of the relationship is the first target. 

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3 hours ago, jaydendoji said:

https://www.soompi.com/article/1347539wpp/stars-rock-the-blue-carpet-for-day-2-of-2019-soribada-best-k-music-awards

 

Just surfing some latest news and found this. Photos are disaster. I don't know who should they fire, photographers?? lighting team?? make-up team?? :lol:

 

no number

:scream: Seriously the worst collection of pictures I’ve ever seen... really don’t know who to blame... 

 

@cenching thanks for the cupcakes, but I am cutting down on sugar and gluten ;):D 

 

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11 hours ago, cenching said:

 

It's a common misconception that in a divorce the one who will suffers more is the female as a weaker gender (financially, physically and emotionally)so it's impossible for the female to instigates a divorce....Hell, yeah!!! :skull: Beside how a weak female can bully a big bad boy in a marriage life, isn't it?? :skull:

 

Yes to this!  Not all Men are strong mentally and physically just like not all women are innocent and weak. There are alot of men that suffer abuse (mental and physical) in their marriage/relationship. But it is harder for them to talk about it because...they will face a lot of ridicule. Some Men will insult him and call him weak and how can he let a woman treat him like that. Some Women will not believe him and call him a liar because again men are always the evil one and Women are the innocent one. Because of that you hear more about women abuse cases then Men. So it create this idea that Men are always the instigatore. 

 

I find it wrong to judge a whole gender because of the action of a few. Unless you have met every single Men on this planet...statements like ALL Men are cheaters and abuser is very wrong. 

 

I find that there is alot of hypocrisy going on when it comes to this whole female empowerment. On one hand you say that woman are strong and not weak like those misconception. But then when the situation is beneficial for you then all of the suden the woman is weak,  need protection and deserve special treatment. 

 

With the ongoing divorce situation. Let´s say that it´s true that he cheated. He is a public figure, so a lot of people know that he is married. If that other woman decide to have an affair with him knowing that he is married what does that say about her as a woman? How does that fit into the narrative of the innocent woman?

 

There is this story that happened a while ago in south Korea. 

There was this woman that came out saying that a group of Men attacked her because of her short haircut. As it is somehow linked to being a feminist. When the story came out it caused alot of outrage, she received a lot of support and petition were started to get her justice. Then later on when the CCTV footage was revealded it showed that it was the woman who instigated the whole incident. 

 

Another incident also happend a few years back and the video went viral. this time it happend in a subay in the US. There was this young man that has a dissapility. If I remember correctly I think it was about the way he talked. There were this group of Women , and one of them started to make fun of this guy, insulting him, the guy also started to insult her back. There were other people in the subway but did nothing. At one point the woman took of her high heels and hit the guy in the face, the guy defended himself and hit her back. That´s when some Men jumped in and started to attack him...because he hit the woman back. So all of those time they were quiet but when, he defended himself then all of the sudden he is the bad guy? What kind of nonsense is this?

 

Annyway what I wanted to say with this long essay is that, both men and woman are capable of cheating or abuse. 

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7 hours ago, refuse2sink said:

@Sarang21  His name is Gerhard Shroeder. Tried copying the link but can't-I'm pretty bad at computers. He's 73 years old I think. He met his 5th South Korean wife when he was working there and she was the translator. Now apparently her ex husband is trying to get him for adultery because it happened b4 the adultery laws changed. The SK wife claimed that she and her ex were already living apart for some time so she said it wasn't adultery.:phew: They were still legally married,Hello !That's why it made the news cos the ex wants her punished for committing adultery. You can google "ex German ambassador marries South Korean wife" and everything's there. 

904

 @Dhakra @refuse2sink Oh him..yes I know him..but more as the former chancellor of Germany. it´s just that I´m not that interested in the marital affairs of those politician. I´m more into the K-entertainment industry :joy:.Unless Schroeder kidnapped his wife and married her against her will I don´t understand why the ex-husband is suing him. Shouldn´t he be suing his wife?

 

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@Sarang21

Nowadays there are lots of female sexual predator who prey on young boys. But they received much lesser sentences than the male counterpart. I am a mother of 2 boys, IF one of my boys is abused by any of those females dog I would hunts her down and make sure that she receives the same sentences as a man....:skull: There were many cases in US where under the influences of the mother in order to gains upper hand in divorce court, daughter made false testament that dad molested her.

 

We should not take a higher moral ground when it convenient. Two wrongs don't make one right....

 

 

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There is this topic on mind that I would like to ask about your opinion. It´s about the whole Jung Joon Young situation that went down. Now everyone that was friends with him is accused of being involved in that situation or that they had some knowledge of what he was doing. 

 

I agreed to a certain extend...because there is this quote: "Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are". But then I thought to myself can I trully say that I know everything about my friends or that they know everything about me and what I do? There are some friends that I share more about myself then others. So is this guilty by association  fair?

 

What are your opinions?

 

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12 hours ago, sushilicious said:

Question to all. Why is it so typical for the guy to be the one to blame?is it possible to have the girl as the instigator?

 

Disclaimer - divorce is never cut and dry.  Like so many have mentioned, it takes 2 hands to clap, 2 to tango.  So whilst on the surface you could say one is more at fault than the other, usually when you scratch deeper, both are just as at fault.  I say usually, coz there are obvious cases of physical abuse, power plays, infidelity in which case there is one party which is glaringly more at fault than the other.

 

Is it typically the guy?  I thought in Korea, and in a lot of Asian countries, the woman is the one that is “blamed” first?  Women fight differently from men.  We play passive aggressive a lot.  And men tend to take it out more visibly.  So who’s more wrong then?  My son used to get pulled up in the playground for hitting the girl (when he was like 3 :lol:), and he’s the one who gets scolded but when you ask him why he hit her, you find out that she’s the one who said mean things in the first place?  So she gets away with it but he gets punished?  I am not saying that violence is the way to solve it but that’s just to illustrate the point that it’s never so clearcut.

 

So I tend NOT to take sides when I sit listening to a friend’s story.  I am on the side of marriage.  I try my best to counsel so the couple stays together - especially if there are children involved.  So I listen but I don’t apportion blame. I try to get the person I am listening to OWN the problem (because they are one half of a whole, more likely than not, they are partly to blame).  They can only fix their side of the problem.  Blaming the other party does nothing to solve the problem.  Contrary to popular opinion that children are better off NOT seeing mummy and daddy fighting all the time (and therefore divorce), it’s actually better for them to see the fighting and then watching them work through to resolve it together.  It’s the stuff of legend.  Marriages that have struggled from the pit and come out the other end are more resilient and stronger.  But it does take 2 to tango.  BOTH must resolve to put every effort into making it work.  It’s hard but it is worth it.  Nothing in life is easy.  If it is, it’s probably not worth it.

 

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