Add and Subtract Game

[Ameera Ali]

 

@cenching @ktcjdrama & @Lawyerh will be the cookies the way to a man heart  

 

 

@Lawyerh is the affair day 

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[Guest]

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18 hours ago, Sarang21 said:

I live in Germany and has never heard anything about him until now . What´s his name?

 

You never heard about our former Bundeskanzler Gerhard Schröder?  He married a south korean translator a few months back, it went through the media for quite a bunch of reasons. He asked his ex-wife Doris Schröder-Köpf to give his name back, since he wanted his current wife to be the only one with this last name. He is more than 25years older than her. Honestly I would be impressed, wouldn't she be almost 50years.

 

It true though that he married a couple of times, but I never heard he has the nickname Audi. He isn't very present anymore these days, since his party is in hard times currently and he wasn't the most popular Bundeskanzler aswell. 

 

10 hours ago, sushilicious said:

Question to all. Why is it so typical for the guy to be the one to blame?is it possible to have the girl as the instigator?

 

Because we are supposed to endure it and society in general doesn't expect us to suffer. Men are also easier targets since it's not very uncommon for guys to cheat. I think it's a mixture of different things. If things are unclear, the male part of the relationship is the first target. 

[ktcjdrama]

3 hours ago, jaydendoji said:

https://www.soompi.com/article/1347539wpp/stars-rock-the-blue-carpet-for-day-2-of-2019-soribada-best-k-music-awards

 

Just surfing some latest news and found this. Photos are disaster. I don't know who should they fire, photographers?? lighting team?? make-up team??

 

no number

 Seriously the worst collection of pictures I’ve ever seen... really don’t know who to blame... 

 

@cenching thanks for the cupcakes, but I am cutting down on sugar and gluten  

 

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[Sarang21]

11 hours ago, cenching said:

 

It's a common misconception that in a divorce the one who will suffers more is the female as a weaker gender (financially, physically and emotionally)so it's impossible for the female to instigates a divorce....Hell, yeah!!! Beside how a weak female can bully a big bad boy in a marriage life, isn't it??

 

Yes to this!  Not all Men are strong mentally and physically just like not all women are innocent and weak. There are alot of men that suffer abuse (mental and physical) in their marriage/relationship. But it is harder for them to talk about it because...they will face a lot of ridicule. Some Men will insult him and call him weak and how can he let a woman treat him like that. Some Women will not believe him and call him a liar because again men are always the evil one and Women are the innocent one. Because of that you hear more about women abuse cases then Men. So it create this idea that Men are always the instigatore. 

 

I find it wrong to judge a whole gender because of the action of a few. Unless you have met every single Men on this planet...statements like ALL Men are cheaters and abuser is very wrong. 

 

I find that there is alot of hypocrisy going on when it comes to this whole female empowerment. On one hand you say that woman are strong and not weak like those misconception. But then when the situation is beneficial for you then all of the suden the woman is weak,  need protection and deserve special treatment. 

 

With the ongoing divorce situation. Let´s say that it´s true that he cheated. He is a public figure, so a lot of people know that he is married. If that other woman decide to have an affair with him knowing that he is married what does that say about her as a woman? How does that fit into the narrative of the innocent woman?

 

There is this story that happened a while ago in south Korea. 

There was this woman that came out saying that a group of Men attacked her because of her short haircut. As it is somehow linked to being a feminist. When the story came out it caused alot of outrage, she received a lot of support and petition were started to get her justice. Then later on when the CCTV footage was revealded it showed that it was the woman who instigated the whole incident. 

 

Another incident also happend a few years back and the video went viral. this time it happend in a subay in the US. There was this young man that has a dissapility. If I remember correctly I think it was about the way he talked. There were this group of Women , and one of them started to make fun of this guy, insulting him, the guy also started to insult her back. There were other people in the subway but did nothing. At one point the woman took of her high heels and hit the guy in the face, the guy defended himself and hit her back. That´s when some Men jumped in and started to attack him...because he hit the woman back. So all of those time they were quiet but when, he defended himself then all of the sudden he is the bad guy? What kind of nonsense is this?

 

Annyway what I wanted to say with this long essay is that, both men and woman are capable of cheating or abuse. 

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[ktcjdrama]

2 minutes ago, sushilicious said:

Scrapping off sugar huh? 

 

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Yeah... but I still love sushi 

 

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[Sarang21]

7 hours ago, refuse2sink said:

@Sarang21  His name is Gerhard Shroeder. Tried copying the link but can't-I'm pretty bad at computers. He's 73 years old I think. He met his 5th South Korean wife when he was working there and she was the translator. Now apparently her ex husband is trying to get him for adultery because it happened b4 the adultery laws changed. The SK wife claimed that she and her ex were already living apart for some time so she said it wasn't adultery. They were still legally married,Hello !That's why it made the news cos the ex wants her punished for committing adultery. You can google "ex German ambassador marries South Korean wife" and everything's there. 

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 @Dhakra @refuse2sink Oh him..yes I know him..but more as the former chancellor of Germany. it´s just that I´m not that interested in the marital affairs of those politician. I´m more into the K-entertainment industry .Unless Schroeder kidnapped his wife and married her against her will I don´t understand why the ex-husband is suing him. Shouldn´t he be suing his wife?

 

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[cenching]

@Sarang21

Nowadays there are lots of female sexual predator who prey on young boys. But they received much lesser sentences than the male counterpart. I am a mother of 2 boys, IF one of my boys is abused by any of those females dog I would hunts her down and make sure that she receives the same sentences as a man.... There were many cases in US where under the influences of the mother in order to gains upper hand in divorce court, daughter made false testament that dad molested her.

 

We should not take a higher moral ground when it convenient. Two wrongs don't make one right....

 

 

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[Sarang21]

There is this topic on mind that I would like to ask about your opinion. It´s about the whole Jung Joon Young situation that went down. Now everyone that was friends with him is accused of being involved in that situation or that they had some knowledge of what he was doing. 

 

I agreed to a certain extend...because there is this quote: "Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are". But then I thought to myself can I trully say that I know everything about my friends or that they know everything about me and what I do? There are some friends that I share more about myself then others. So is this guilty by association  fair?

 

What are your opinions?

 

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[nrllee]

12 hours ago, sushilicious said:

Question to all. Why is it so typical for the guy to be the one to blame?is it possible to have the girl as the instigator?

 

Disclaimer - divorce is never cut and dry.  Like so many have mentioned, it takes 2 hands to clap, 2 to tango.  So whilst on the surface you could say one is more at fault than the other, usually when you scratch deeper, both are just as at fault.  I say usually, coz there are obvious cases of physical abuse, power plays, infidelity in which case there is one party which is glaringly more at fault than the other.

 

Is it typically the guy?  I thought in Korea, and in a lot of Asian countries, the woman is the one that is “blamed” first?  Women fight differently from men.  We play passive aggressive a lot.  And men tend to take it out more visibly.  So who’s more wrong then?  My son used to get pulled up in the playground for hitting the girl (when he was like 3 ), and he’s the one who gets scolded but when you ask him why he hit her, you find out that she’s the one who said mean things in the first place?  So she gets away with it but he gets punished?  I am not saying that violence is the way to solve it but that’s just to illustrate the point that it’s never so clearcut.

 

So I tend NOT to take sides when I sit listening to a friend’s story.  I am on the side of marriage.  I try my best to counsel so the couple stays together - especially if there are children involved.  So I listen but I don’t apportion blame. I try to get the person I am listening to OWN the problem (because they are one half of a whole, more likely than not, they are partly to blame).  They can only fix their side of the problem.  Blaming the other party does nothing to solve the problem.  Contrary to popular opinion that children are better off NOT seeing mummy and daddy fighting all the time (and therefore divorce), it’s actually better for them to see the fighting and then watching them work through to resolve it together.  It’s the stuff of legend.  Marriages that have struggled from the pit and come out the other end are more resilient and stronger.  But it does take 2 to tango.  BOTH must resolve to put every effort into making it work.  It’s hard but it is worth it.  Nothing in life is easy.  If it is, it’s probably not worth it.

 

920

 

 

[Sarang21]

15 minutes ago, cenching said:

@Sarang21

Nowadays there are lots of female sexual predator who prey on young boys. But they received much lesser sentences than the male counterpart. I am a mother of 2 boys, IF one of my boys is abused by any of those females dog I would hunts her down and make sure that she receives the same sentences as a man.... There were many cases in US where under the influences of the mother in order to gains upper hand in divorce court, daughter made false testament that dad molested her.

 

We should not take a higher moral ground when it convenient. Two wrongs don't make one right....

 

 

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Chingu....It´s like you are in my mind. I agreed with everything that you said. Gender equality should be in all aspekt! 

 

 

 

[cenching]

25 minutes ago, Sarang21 said:

There is this topic on mind that I would like to ask about your opinion. It´s about the whole Jung Joon Young situation that went down. Now everyone that was friends with him is accused of being involved in that situation or that they had some knowledge of what he was doing. 

 

I agreed to a certain extend...because there is this quote: "Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are". But then I thought to myself can I trully say that I know everything about my friends or that they know everything about me and what I do? There are some friends that I share more about myself then others. So is this guilty by association  fair?

 

What are your opinions?

 

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In some ways I do believe in a Japanese proverbs that say, "If you are unclear about the man's personality, look at his friends". In JJY's situation I would say, innocent until proven guilty.

 

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[cenching]

2 minutes ago, sushilicious said:

In my own perspective why the controversy articles came about and on fire are partly the divorcées & their fans fault that pretty much causes everything to go haywire.

 

Fans wise, if they just don’t start spreading and hype the entire situation nothing would have happened and I believe cause of this hype, the actress then release the nips thing? If that’s the case, it’s pretty much the fans who helped to get to this point.

 

At the same time it feels like a scheme to promote reputation...

 

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In celebrity divorce cases, the public will know what is going on ONLY IF the celebrity involved made an "announcement". As a public figure who has many followers in SocMed, the moment you post something especially the juicy stuffs, it will spreads like wild fire. The reason why a public figure should be careful in SocMed....

 

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[cenching]

1 minute ago, Sejabin said:

 

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like gay men will mostly hang around with gay men too? Or with the girls? 

 

Or calm people will be friend with calm people too. Noisy people with noisy people. Stone headed people with stone headed people. Soft people with soft people.. etc..

 

Like a normal worker will hang out regularly with a well known Yakuza, pimp, convicted pedophile or drug addict. In JJY's case his crime is hidden in his phone and certain circle. Without a solid evidence we can't say that every single mortal around him is involved in his crime.

 

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[mouse007]

13 hours ago, sushilicious said:

 

Question to all. Why is it so typical for the guy to be the one to blame?is it possible to have the girl as the instigator?

 

 

This is a difficult question to answer because there is no one answer. I think historically, there are a lot of factors that have contributed to this - some of it @Lmangla had already brought out - that in former generations, women relied on their husbands to provide for the family so the women were mostly confined to managing the home and the children. First of all, this wouldn't have given the woman many chances to meet someone else and second, it was less likely for a woman to want to put herself and her children at a disadvantage.

 

But that being said, this isn't the only reason. I think that we also have to understand that men and women have very different needs. IF we stick to just cheating - men typically cheat physically while women cheat emotionally. I am not saying that this is true in every case but there is some truth in that men seem to be able to disassociate emotion with the physical act while women typically develop feelings first before they get physical. So in essence, it's almost easier for a man to cheat than it is for a woman. 

 

At the end of the day, I do believe the both men and women are capable of being the instigator. It's all about the choices we make on a daily basis. To love someone means to choose that person every day. It takes commitment and constant effort from BOTH parties. Ask couples who have been married for more than 30 years and they'll tell you it's not easy. But one thing they will tell you - that divorce was not an option for them - meaning that they were in it together, come what may. That is what marriage means. 

 

This is why divorce hurts. Because think about it - you've been playing for the same team all those years.. building a life together, working towards your dreams together, having children, looking at the same direction.. then one day, you find that you are no longer in synch and you don't recognize the person in front of you. And if there is a 3rd party involved, that hurts even more because now the special bond you shared with your mate is broken. 

 

I agree with @nrllee in that divorce is never cut and dry and there are a lot of factors to consider. Really then, we must be respectful of the parties involved and let them sort it out on their own. They're the only 2 people who knows what really happened in their marriage and they're the ones that have to live with the consequences of their choices. If they choose to stay together or divorce, it's their choice, their life and they will be the ones to live said lives. 

 

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[mouse007]

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[ktcjdrama]

1 hour ago, Sejabin said:

not too shipper. But I just love them both   I hate SJK 

Is this the same hate as you hate KJW?

 

On a serious note, since both SJK and SHK are keeping quite, it's difficult to guess what might have happened to cause the divorce. So it's better not to go around hating one party. For all we know, he might be the more innocent party. I agree that both parties are at fault to certain extent.

 

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[cenching]

Talking about divorce in non celebrity or people who I know personally in real life, I RARELY want to get involved.  I don't even want to give out much opinions because as a married person myself I know how complicated marriage life is.....I don't even want to get involve in hubs-wifey or lovers quarrels. Because most of the time when they already made peace with each other the outsider who gave advice will become the bad guy.... Usually I only provided  a listening ear....

 

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[Ameera Ali]

@cenching , @Lawyerh

For me in conflict & fight between couple  I believe they need to move on , is tiring the blame game 

 

Spoiler

 

 

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[mouse007]

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[Lmangla]

2 hours ago, Sarang21 said:

I agreed to a certain extend...because there is this quote: "Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are". But then I thought to myself can I trully say that I know everything about my friends or that they know everything about me and what I do? There are some friends that I share more about myself then others. So is this guilty by association  fair?

 

What are your opinions?

there are some industries and circles where the word 'friend' is defined very loosely. basically it is all about networking and putting your face in pics in social media. but are they truly friends who you can rely on? who knows things about you? the actual inner circle of many celebs is very small and it is a reason why so many are lonely and fall into depression, addiction etc.

 

it looks like they have this wide circle but in reality, they lead a lonely life with hardly anyone to call if they are having a bad day. so fans automatically saying everyone associated is guilty may not be accurate because the person would have a wide circle -- thats how they network to be successful.and you also have to consider that networking is a matter of logic and business. meaning, you may not like the person but you tolerate them because of the connections etc. so it can be difficult for fans and outsiders to spot on who is the real friend and who is just friend for connections...

 

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