[Drama 2014] My Lovely Girl 내겐 너무 사랑스러운 그녀

[bebebisous33]

@mirage^ I am expecting that she finds out next week... but I don't think, she will run away. I hope so anyway.

[Guest hind1430292929]

Krystal (who plays the role of Sena) fainted by the stairs after one of f(x) performances today at SMTOWN Shangaî   Between her group's activities and filming the drama,the poor girl must be overworking herself :/
Hope she gets enough rest.




WebRepÉvaluation globale 

[sanika]

Seeing all the flake that SJ and Hy's characters have got due to the past episode, I wanted to give another POV. But @JamesFrancoPhD did a really good job. I would still like to present my 2 cents.

SJ - Unlike teenagers, adults friendships do not have 1st bbf, 2nd bbf etc. HW and HY are both his friends and thus both are equally important. Logically speaking, HY isn't a bad choice for HW. So, it isn't surprising that SJ would like to see his 2 good friends end up together. Coming back to the scene under the microscope of the forum, if you rewind and observe just the facial expressions, you might understand it better. SJ enters, sees a crying and hurt HY whereas HW has a completely blank look that is bordering on arrogance and anger. It is but obvious SJ will sympathize with HY. Most people are giving Rain loads of praises for his emotional outburst acting, but for me SJ's shift in expression before, during and after the outburst was the most outstanding bit of the scene. First he assumes HW has hurt HY (which he has done before), next he is stunned by HW's outburst (here he notices that even HW is in pain). He immediately softens towards HW and correctly guesses that SN is the cause and asks HW if he is going to be okay ! It was simply brilliant !

I like his character. He is being a good friend to both and gives both of them good advise from all the facts he has in his hands. He was encouraging HY till now as he thought HW is single and it has been 3 years since ES's accident. Now that he knows HW likes HY, I am sure he will stop pushing the two together. (atleast I hope he does)!

HY - No matter what, I can't bring myself to hate her character. She is so unlike other 2nd leads. She isn't backbiting, plotting, screaming, threatening or backstabbing. I am guessing that the scene of HY slapping ES could have been because HY thought ES was cheating on HW. She has been upfront and honest about her feelings and her actions. HW is being passive with her and she is left with lingering hope. She really loves him. She is willing to wait for him to get over SN. Only when HW completely rejects her, will she be able to give up.

So I put the blame solely in HW for this. His inability to make prompt decisions with regards to SN and HY are causing both the ladies a great deal of pain. Some might say he is suffering from pain of his own, but it is his own doing. It won't go away simply because he wishes it. Taking a leaf out of SN's and HY's books, he needs to be more honest about his feelings and upfront in his actions. Hopefully next week we will get to see this.

[minozyeh]

I think Sang Jin's problem is that he makes Hyun Wook responsible for Hae Yoon's feeling. 

Me 100 percent agree with you. The thing that bother me is that he kinda push HW to be responsible for HY. And also in the coffee shop, he clearly knew that HW likes Sena and he told HW he can't like Sena. I remember how HW's reaction when he said," thank you i almost forgot.

I was talking to myself when I watched that scene, "What? Is he trying to put the blame of Sena's sister's death on HW also?" But I hope I am wrong.

@cailei23 Yap..You are right. That kinda law not just exist in a bible but also in my culture. I am from Indonesia and batak tribe. In our culture, if a wife died, the husband usually are going to be ask to marry the sister of the wife (although he can also reject it). There are a lot of good reasons behind that law but I don't think I can explain it here ). Thus, to me for HW and Sena end up together despite of she is his late girlfriend's sister is not a problem. Especially they both love each other. Quoting Eric's line in discovery of romance: your heart first then loyalty )

[bebebisous33]

@sanika 
I judge SJ differently... even with the scene you mentionned: first, in the episode 8, he called HW to pick up HY at the bar and he blamed him for HY's state of mind. His accusation was that he had left HY on the street. You might be right, for an adult there is no first and second best friend... but in that scene he never gave HW a chance to explain. He immediately took HY's side and every time HY had a fight with HW, SJ  has been always taking her side. As mutual friend, you should try to stay neutral. HW is well aware of it but because he considers SJ as a friend, he has been trying to stay calm and have a normal relationship with HY... Nevertheless, when SJ mentionned his wish, he would like HW to be with HY, HW answered him, he couldn't control his heart, SJ didn't listen to his comment. With this words, HW clearly pointed out, he wasn't interested in HY, but SJ's argument was, HY has been waiting for you for 12 years... as if it was a duty from HW to love her back because she waited for a long time. You might be right, at the end of the episode 10, SJ might have realised HW's pain but this proves that he had never taken HW's love for SE seriously before.
SJ and HY had the same vision: HW loved his girlfriend, but as time would passe, he would forget her... HY only needed to wait and SJ encouraged her to believe in that nonsense. SJ never realised HW's deep love for SE. The reason is that he was already on HY's side. Besides, SJ knew that HW was feeling guilty for SE's death, but neither SJ nor HY tried to convince him otherwise. He didn't kill his girlfriend. His survivor's guilt is normal for some one who witnesses the death of a beloved person, but people around HW let him feel guilty, no one seems to convince him otherwise...  
Therefore HW disappeared, he couldn't handle people who were expecting so many things from him. 
I also disagree to put the blame on HW: in fact, HW tried to act like his "so called friends" wanted him to do. HW was in the episode 9 quite firm, he rejected HY and told her so, but she decided to erase his rejection by faking, she wouldn't remember that event. Therefore she started to woo him again, as soon as HW had fired SN. When her hand touched his hand, her gesture wasn't a one to comfort someone, but definitely one to seduce. When she asked him if she could go with him in order to pick up DB, he refused but she blamed him for not giving her a chance... because he didn't want to be the bad guy, he agreed... in that scene, HY was playing on his feelings, he was the bad guy. I mean, HW is a person who is full of remorse and grief and she was trying to play with his guilty conscience... no and no!
HW had problems with his own feelings about SN ... his guilty conscience, but also HY and SJ kept saying to him, he couldn't be with her because this wasn't right aso. He acted as he was told and he tried to convince himself this was the right thing to do. I mean, HW did try to tell SN about his identity, but he couldn't, fearing he might lose her. For far, she had been the only one who considered HW's feelings and state of mind, not the other. HY had decided to overlook his pain... she had this expectation, because HW had ended his relationship with SN and she would never enter HW's life again, all she needed to do was to wait again. She never considered HW's love for SN... only her love for HW matters.    

[strawberries34]

@sanika Maybe I'm Hyunwook bias in this regard, but he has made it very very clear in Episode 9, as well as hinted clearly in the past that he doesn't see her more than a friend. He doesn't want to cut ties with her because they work together and have a history. He also knows it will shatter her to just snub her, so he's been the good guy who pushed her away without shoving her out the door. If she wanted to understand, she would have a long long time ago.

When Haeyoon was drunk and told him she loved him for 12 years and waited for him, he told her she'd live a better life if she let him go and forgets him. He refused to keep her company for the night and told her not to wait. He has rejected her feelings for him many times and told Jaeyoung he isn't interested. She heard that. She also heard him scream out in the car that he might like Sena. For all those moments when he's been clear, she either pretended she doesn't remember, or she pulls the "this is wrong, you can't do this, Oppa!" card. That's not pitiful, that's delusional.

The issue isn't Hyunwook's inability to make prompt decisions. The issue is that Haeyoon doesn't accept those prompt decisions if it wouldn't make her happy. She is scheming when she told Sena to not call Hyunwook ahjusshi anymore and stay away from him. He didn't have a clue. She is screaming and threatening when she tells him that even if he loves Sena, he'll never recieve her love when she finds out the truth. She's indicating that if he doesn't stop, she may tell Sena.

Haeyoon likes to act like a victim of waiting and not receiving love. But no one has ever stopped her from moving on. It is her choice to wait, her choice to hope Hyunwook gets over Soeun, her choice to expect Hyunwook to stop loving Sena. And like Hyunwook said, she can't control his heart or emotions. She can't tell him what to do and what not. She uses her emotional card and says "right, I'm nothing to you" ~ that's not true. She is a 'friend' and a co-worker, and Hyunwook respects her. It is why he's never dumped her richard simmons out the door. But it is also what makes her look worse because she has no respect for him and his concern for her. She expects more instead of being thankful for what he's given her. And for that, I think she's pathetic and not someone I'd ever pity.

[strawberries34]

@hind Oh no! I hope Krystal is okay, she's been over worked these days, poor girl. Along with the emotional stress, its also physical stress. Rain was in Shanghai too last week, but he's a little more used to the industry work expectations since he's been here much longer.

I really hope she gets better soon! Maybe she can rest and we can see our lollipop couple getting their bromance moments for a bit

[minozyeh]

@hind i've just read the news. I HOPE and pray that she is going to get well soon and nothing serious happen with Kristal..With the shooting's tight schedule and her performances, she might be very extremly exhausted...(

[Guest JamesFrancoPhD]

@hind It's a sad thing reading news like this. To my knowledge this isn't the first time she's fainted as well, she's simply just over-worked right now, it doesn't help that she suffers from anemia. Hopefully she gets some rest and time-off from SM-Town Shanghai, and perhaps SME takes some consideration to her schedule like they did with SooYoung who's also filming a drama.

[Guest kseeker16_9cc6]

hind

said: [size=3]Krystal (who plays the role of Sena) fainted by the stairs after one of f(x) performances today at SMTOWN Shangaî

  Between her group's activities and filming the drama,the poor girl must be overworking herself :/

Hope she gets enough rest.[/size]

 

[sanika]

@bebebisous33

Whilst I understand where you are coming from, I have to point out that most of it has been based on what you think might have happened in the past. We don't know the group dynamics when ES was alive. May be then SJ had told HY to give up ? Maybe she had ? May be she tried dating the other guy to forget HW, But then ES died and she had hope again. Anything is possible. We can't be sure at this point as it isn't been revealed. All I know is that SE was trying to breakup with HW. What lead to that particular situation will definitely be revealed in the next 3 weeks. Everything else is speculations.

Now I would like if you put yourself in SJ's shoes. One of your close friend lost his lover 3 years ago. Will you expect him to be single forever and keep mopping about ? I would guess not. Generally you would encourage the person to go out. As I said again, logically, HY is compatible with HW. That there is no attraction from his side is a fact, but in real life, not all relationships are about romance and drama. Sometimes, you could come to love a person who loves you over a period of time. Almost like another Kdrama storyline, where the male is a jerk, but the girl's steadfast love eventually wins him over. HY is korean and she herself has been raised on Kdramas. It is easy to imagine her fantasizing herself eventually winning HW's love. I am not saying that I agree with her, just saying that its understandable. Also, you mentioned that SJ kept forcing HW to go out with HY. I don't recall HW strongly refusing SJ. He just kept his mouth shut or changed subject. This kind of makes me feel that the idea was there somewhere in HW's mind as well. In the beginning HW was almost receptive of HY's kiss. Only when he started having feelings for SN did he start rejecting HY's advances.

As the audience we get to see different dynamics between different people in the story. But we ought to remember that what we see is not what the characters see. So following the story and being in the story are 2 different things. SJ hasn't seen how HW is when he is alone with SN. He only knows what HW and Hy have told him, and he in turn speculates. If he had, he would have noticed HW's feeling way before.

Why HW, HY and SJ are against HW being with SN has to be more than him being her sister's SO and related to situation before her accident. The guilt is not about her death, that is the cause of his grief. But the guilt is about what happened before it. The question is, what role did HW played in it to feel guilty? HY and SJ definitely have no part but they both and HW himself think it was his fault. This again, we shall know soon enough.

As for HW's present day guilt, I just want him to stop wallowing and do something productive to change the situation. That is what I like about SN and HY. They both don't beat around the bush and go after what they want. The only difference is, one's love is returned, other's isn't.

[sanika]

@strawberries34:

What you said makes sense. But judging from the shock on HY's face, it is blatantly clear that this is the first time HW has acted this way with her. Thereby we could conclude that he has never truly rejected her outright. Which brings me back to my original point. From my POV, HW probably cares for HY's feelings. In order not to hurt her, he didn't reject her simply did not react, hoping that she will give up eventually. Also, even if HY pretended not remember anything after the drunken night, he could have given her a short recap and highlights of the conversation that had happened there by making his feeling on the matter absolutely clear. Had he done that, I would not have blamed him. But he simply went along with it....again. Its been 12 years, he should have found 5 minutes during that time to very gently but firmly tell HY to move on and get a life. HY is clinging to any hope she has and after knowing her for 12 years, HW should have figured this out and cut the strings long time back.

[bebebisous33]

@sanika my judgement is not only based on my guesses, but also observations. HY told him, she has been waiting for him for 12 years. She fell in love with him when he consoled her about her failed exams. She went abroad and studied thinking about him and when she came back, he was already in a relationship with SE. Even SJ told him so: 12 years... So she never thought of anyone else. We saw her slapping SE, which happened when HY had come back. We don't know the reason for the slapping... but SE was already in relationship with HW.
There is another thing where I disagree with you. When some one is mourning, I won't tell this person to go out and have fun ... the person needs to be consoled and the only way to do it is to talk about it: the loss, the feelings, the past aso. But if this person is left alone and can't talk about it, he won't be able to move on therefore the waiting of HY and SJ is really insensitive. They don't care about his feelings... they only want him to move on without doing anything. 
About SJ: HW did refuse about SJ's request - as I mentionned in my last comment -, but he stayed polite, only SJ didn't want to acknowledge it.
HY only tried to kiss one time  - what we saw - but he stopped her, then in the car, she mentionned, she did that in the past and he couldn't avoid it back then but now, he was quick enough... her answer was that she should be then even quicker! so We know that HY kissed him many times in the past but HW was already with SE together which implies HY kissed HW knowing about his relationship... no wonder that SE must have wanted to break up. HY must have meddled in their relationship (this is a fact), but because HY was very close to HW's family and SJ, HW tried to stay on good terms with her (my guess and opinion). So, yes, we didn't see any of it, but all the clues were told in different episodes so the viewer has to put them together.
And I don't think, there is more to it: SJ and HY told him, he couldn't be with SN because he was SE's boyfriend. I do think, this is the main reason. It is already a huge reason. 

[sanika]

@bebebisous33

I guess will will have to agree to disagree until more of the story unfolds. Maybe I try to see reality even in dramas or its the age difference between us (maybe I am older?). I am sure we both will enjoy the drama in our own ways

[strawberries34]

@sanika Oh, I totally acknowledge that this is the first time Hyunwook has really told her off. Like I said in my previous reply, he tries to remain the good guy in all this. He understands that Haeyoon likes him and he's tried everything possible to make it obvious he doesn't see her that way without hurting her feelings. He sees her as a friend, and I think its absolutely normal for him to still look out for her because while he may not be in love with her, he still loves her and share a certain history. He also works with her and having a bad working relationship is not advisable for them.

As for the drunken night, Hyunwook totally saw through her lies. She didn't need a reminder and Hyunwook knows that. I think the reason he didn't continue that conversation further is because he was hoping she can think it through and understand herself. I just find it difficult to blame him for something Haeyoon feels. There's nothing he can do other than ridicule her because up till now, he's been clear in actions but maybe lacking in words. When he did blurt out how she has no right to interfere in his life and control his heart, Haeyoon burst into her emotional parade of "yea of course, who am I? Of course I'm not even your friend" ~ its clearly the kind of confrontation Hyunwook is trying not to have because he doesn't want them to fall apart. He wants her to sort it out herself and find a way through.

When she went too far, he told her off and she makes it seem like she's insignificant in his life when all he's been trying to do is protect her from falling apart. I really can't find it in me to blame him for her choices in deluding herself. Its her choice rather than being a victim.

P.S. I love this discussion btw! Because your views are different and it makes me think a lot, I think it makes the forum much more interesting. I'm just saying in case you think I'm coming at you or anything lol. You should post more often, discussions somehow makes the wait shorter )

[bebebisous33]

@sanika I don't think, the age can explain why we interpretate it differently... I am a 40 years old mother with two kids and if I am correct, @strawberries34 shares almost the same point of view and I guess, the person is younger 
But like @strawberries34 wrote, it is okay, changing the different points of view make the waiting less painful 

[sanika]

@strawberries34 :

Yes I to like civil discussions and enjoy reading different POVs on the forum. But life's a richard simmons and I hardly ever have time to spend on the forum This is one of rarer weenend that I am not working / studying.

Just like HW and HY have a different POV where he doesn't want to hurt her so he doesn't react, but HY takes this instead as a reason to not give up, we too are in a similar situation . We are viewing the same situation with different perspectives. I am more of an action driven person. So I think that if you want something done, you go ahead and do it. This is why I really like both SN and HY. My point is, HY has not given up for 12 years, whereas he has avoided the situation for the same amount of time. It is a viscous and unending circle. The only one capable of breaking it is HW.

[Guest kseeker16_9cc6]

cailei23

said: Well if it makes you feel any better

 

in the Bible it says the men of Israel were expected to marry the widow of a brother! So if a brother died and left a wife, another brother was expected to marry her and take care of her. Similar of course to how HW took in SN. Not expecting to fall in love or marry her, but wanting to at least take care of her.

[bebebisous33]

@sanika on this one, I agree with you. In my opinion, he should have acted differently: he was too nice to HY for too long.... but that's why I also like him. He was trying to be considerate, but the problem is that he doesn't know HY so well! Even SJ doesn't know her witch side!

[strawberries34]

Yea, I agree completely with @bebebisous33 Its more with different perspectives of seeing a certain situation rather than age. I'm 22, and I'm on the boat that if someone doesn't return your advances for 12 years (more than half my life, if I think about it), then somewhere down that road, you should've realized that its time to give up.

@sanika I think its not right whatsoever to compare Sena and Haeyoon in the way they take action. In Sena's case, Hyunwook has shown time and again that he feels the same way she does. He drops her home at night, keeps her company in her best of days, pulls her to him when she's down. Her songs make his heart flutter, he kissed her and admitted he's moved by her. Those are enough reasons to believe someone's as in love with you as you are with them. But right when Hyunwook told her he isn't going to be her neighborhood ahjusshi anymore and she thought he may possibly like Haeyoon (when she saw her with Dalbongie and later in his house), she told him - I'll stop loving you. That's a strong woman right there, someone who's deeply in love but ready to let go because that's what is good for her, and what Hyunwook wants from her.

In a complete opposite case is Haeyoon. You're right that Hyunwook has never full out told her that she has no chance with him. But he's also never made seem like he liked her. He never shared with her in 12 years the moments he shared with Sena in a month or so. He's hinted time and again that he feels nothing romantic for her. Lets say she's dense or deluding herself from reality, even then, if she was like Sena, her giving-up and moving phase should have happened when he fell in love with Soeun. If she loves him the way Sena does, she'd have let go like she did. Because it is whats good for her. And its what good for him.

Instead, she takes his non-action oriented rejection as a reason to keep pursuing him. To a point that she's ready to warn Sena off and manipulate him emotionally by saying he needs to move away, needs to cut Sena off, needs to forget her. She doesn't allow him time or space. Even if she believes she has a chance because Hyunwook didn't tell her off in words, she still disregards his breathing space. She knows he's in love with Sena and yet all she can think of is herself and her pain. That itself isn't love but rather an obsession...