Guys: Do You Pay For Dates?

[Guest choi aiko]

If he asks me out then i'll expect him to pay same goes vice versa. If he doesn't have money at the time i'd be willing to pay no problem. I used to be the one in the group of friends that bought everything for everyone,so it would be really special if someone else did it for me  )

[Guest showoff]

choi aiko said: If he asks me out then i'll expect him to pay same goes vice versa. If he doesn't have money at the time i'd be willing to pay no problem. I used to be the one in the group of friends that bought everything for everyone,so it would be really special if someone else did it for me  )

[Guest SlicedBread]

showoff said: atreyu said: I find it very gentle if a man pays for the date, especially if he is moneyed more than me. Then it's a polite gesture and he earned plus points. Even if it is not nessesary for a good relationshop (that you dont know before), I expect it in a way (in mind). 

[atreyu]

showoff said: atreyu said: I find it very gentle if a man pays for the date, especially if he is moneyed more than me. Then it's a polite gesture and he earned plus points. Even if it is not nessesary for a good relationshop (that you dont know before), I expect it in a way (in mind). 

[Guest showoff]

It's disheartening to read that even in the year 2013, people still grasp onto played out gender roles for no other reason than "because".

Whether it's a woman expecting the man to pay, or a man expecting cooking/cleaning from the woman, it's all dumb and illogical.

Women especially, why are you perpetuating the 1960's stereotype of a helpless woman that needs a man to take care of her? I've read numerous times in this thread from women that you want to be "taken care" of and "spoiled" by the man... where does this thought process originate from?

[NaughtyDog]

The idea that "if a guy is the one that asks you on a date, he should be paying for it" is a fair deal, but at the same time some of these girls would never ask a guy out themselves.

To me, if the date goes well and I really like the guy, I'll pay half or the whole thing. This would show the guy that I'm interested and committed to another date because if I didn't like him, I could easily just let him pay and have a free meal.

Conversely, if the date didn't go well, I'd pay half so there isn't any idea in his mind that I'll "get him on the next date." So my gesture of paying can be taken both ways hahaha

[Guest showoff]

Why shouldn't a woman ask a guy out?

[NaughtyDog]

showoff said: Why shouldn't a woman ask a guy out?

[Guest showoff]

NaughtyDog said: showoff said: Why shouldn't a woman ask a guy out?

[NaughtyDog]

showoff said: NaughtyDog said: showoff said: Why shouldn't a woman ask a guy out?

[Guest showoff]

NaughtyDog said: showoff said: NaughtyDog said: showoff said: Why shouldn't a woman ask a guy out?

[NaughtyDog]

showoff said: NaughtyDog said: showoff said: NaughtyDog said: showoff said: Why shouldn't a woman ask a guy out?

[Guest showoff]

NaughtyDog said: showoff said: NaughtyDog said: showoff said: NaughtyDog said: showoff said: Why shouldn't a woman ask a guy out?

[NaughtyDog]

It was an edit that I made before even seeing your post because when you edit a post and you're still on the original page, it doesn't refresh with new posts.

Anyway, this is completely derailing the thread.

My point: Girls who say that guys should pay for the first date since they asked them out should be willing to ask guys out too and pay for the first date.

Edit: (Just so everyone knows I'm editing it!) My edit was made before seeing your post. I made a typo and corrected myself. If you look at my OP, my last edit was at 2:53 and your post was made at 2:46, so I definitely didn't even see your post prior to editing it. If I had seen that I would have simply said "Oops, I mean "would", not "should!".

Anyway, explaining all these technicalities is stupid. It was a misunderstanding on both parts so I'll leave it at that, no hard feelings @showoff.

[NaughtyDog]

speedredefined said:
I'm glad my posts pointing out Asian girl's double standard towards Asian guys struck a chord with you though and I'm glad to see you somewhat remember my posts.  Someone needed to have the balls to finally point it out.  I know you didn't like hearing it, but it had to be said.  And I understand fully it's rough to hear, if I were an Asian girl I wouldn't want to hear it too.  [Hypothetically (and I don't mean anyone here specifically, I mean purely hypothetically because I've had discussions with Lie about this and I'm saying this in pure hypothetical terms so no one flag this we're all adults here), I'd love the unequal dating power to date & dump an Asian guy then to date my Professor too. That status quo is nice.  But then what can I say?  I look out for nice guys.]

[daRings]

I'm quite "old fashioned" and traditional....
i honestly feel like a guy should pay for dates, its just a very gentleman/manly thing to do.
I really respect guys who do that, it makes me feel important/special to him.
i dunno, it just makes me feel like a real woman? lol

but ofcourse if he doesn't have money, then i'm willing to pay for it.
it's just a very nice feeling if he initiates and offers to pay instead.

[Mannosuke]

daRings said: I'm quite "old fashioned" and traditional....
i honestly feel like a guy should pay for dates, its just a very gentleman/manly thing to do.
I really respect guys who do that, it makes me feel important/special to him.
i dunno, it just makes me feel like a real woman? lol

but ofcourse if he doesn't have money, then i'm willing to pay for it.
it's just a very nice feeling if he initiates and offers to pay instead.

[Mannosuke]

Hey Lie I know what you mean I've also met several asian girls who personally admit they would like to date asian guys for fun, but when it comes to long-term, stable relationships they are looking for non-asian, preferably white guys.
I've also been watching a lot of yellow fever videos and listening to reasons why asian girls prefer a white guy and am intrigued because none of them were superficial or anything. These girls knew exactly what they want in life: they wanted to be treated equally and fairly, and that is something they felt asian dudes could not provide because the asian culture is quite patriarchal compared to the american culture where men and women are all treated equally regardless of race or ethnicity.

[Guest teekei]

[Guest Kerriganton]

speedredefined said:
They haven't been mistreated by Asian guys to my knowledge, they're just not really into them. Some just say they prefer the looks and style of most non-Asians. Some, when asked, make the "Asian guys aren't as masculine as white/black/hispanic guys" argument, whatever that means.
I've noticed with the many Asian girls I knew, they tried dating Asian guys but gave up, or were looking for tall Asian guys (because they were tall), but the tall Asian guys were all taken because tall Asian guys are more rare, and very in demand - the tall Asian guys I know all date either really physically attractive, tall Asian girls or white girls.  Basically, they were looking for the good looking Asian dudes or had their eyes on one but the dude either wasn't interested or taken.  
So maybe the "height" thing has to do with masculinity, as well as fashion sense since for instance KPop fashion is way more feminine on a global scale than say, stuff guys get a Macys.