Asian girls dating white guys?

[mintcracker]

He was whitewashed because he acted more like the stereotypical white guy than the stereotypical korean. Hence "white washed"

White washed doesn't mean you're ashamed of your culture and can't speak the language, it simply means you think differently, have a different sense of humour (fobs tend to take things more seriously and aren't' as laid back and jokey) and generally are 'westernised.'

I don't see how it's derogatory? How is it offensive?

[Guest Kerriganton]

mintcracker

said: He was whitewashed because he acted more like the stereotypical white guy than the stereotypical korean. Hence "white washed"

White washed doesn't mean you're ashamed of your culture and can't speak the language, it simply means you think differently, have a different sense of humour (fobs tend to take things more seriously and aren't' as laid back and jokey) and generally are 'westernised.'

I don't see how it's derogatory? How is it offensive?

[Guest HappyExpress]

. I live in America all my life and seeing white guy promoted in the media has not effect me... I must admitted they are attractive but I'm not into them. I remember I used to watch BET all the time, and I'm not into black guys....

[Guest writerstale]

&rea said: donporkuloin said: Truth is most men that are into Asian women have some kind of Asian fetish whether it's talked about out loud, or hidden. Truth is everyone has some kind of fetish. Some are weirder, and some are more accepted. I can't speak for everywhere in the world, but I'll speak for midwest America. In midwest America it's highly pushed in society for most women in general to want to date a White guy. When you take a step back from any kind of bias, and look at some facts. On tv and in movies White men are highly promoted, and pushed more than any other races of guys. That's a fact.  It's to the point where people actually believe in the hype that one race of man is better than the others with stereotypical ploys to lessen the chances of success for other races of me. What I will say is this I find that a lot of my female friends that are into White guys I ask them why are they into White guys. 10 times out of 10 they'll say because they see them a lot in the media. Just remember while being defensive about liking a White guy; and while worshiping the trend of being with a White guy he can do the same horrible things to you any other guy has done to you if not worse. Last female friend I know that was dating a White guy turned out to be a sex offender, had herpes, and I had to call the police on him due to his over aggressive behavior towards her. What I really wish is the media promoted each race of men fairly. But for the media there's no good profit in that so that won't happen unless people speak up in mass numbers.

[Guest HappyExpress]

When did I say BET = blacks swag pants down and has low vocabulary. That's your perceptions, which I think is pretty messed up. The reasons I watched BET because I enjoy watching it and enjoy the music back in the day. I just think its insane and odd how you would perceive me thinking about black. Just because I said, "I'm not into black guy" you automatic assume things. doesnt matter fox or NBC, I'm still not into white guys.

[Guest bunnywink]

If an Asian woman wants to date a Caucasian man, that's her prerogative. Rather than complain about this pairing, these men should take a look in the mirror and see for themselves why women are not choosing them. Maybe if they stopped being so misogynistic, they would actually get laid.

[Guest koreanballads]

donporkuloin said: What parallel delusional universe do you live in? Where I live these ideas come from things I see quite frequently and have witnesses to. Something called the truth. A non-fictional kind of thing. If you ever get time I can give you a list of some cities in midwest America to check out where this truth I speak of is unfortunately alive and kicking.

[Guest brokenmachine]

lol the thread should be about why some asian men feel like they have been treated unfairly just because some people think they are close-minded or more clingy in relationships.
I am sure there are a lot of girls also like that in a guy and regard them as good traits...It's not like you are going to want to go date girls who have stronger opinions or more liberal thinking. 

[Guest nowiaintagolddigger]

lots of asian girls date white guys these days

[Guest koreanballads]

Lie

wrote:

»

I can understand why you might say that you feel white guys get preferential treatment in the U.S., even as a white guy myself I can admit that white guys tend to be seen as at least the 2nd best dating option if not the best in many cases regardless of the American girl's racial background (with the exception of black girls, of which only a very small minority date white guys in my experience). I think you're giving the media too much credit though, I just feel that's what it's like being the majority in a country.

Your argument is that white guys are viewed as the 2nd best option among Asian females in America in virtue of the fact that they are part of the majority group.  White guys are the norm, as you say, in America.  So it's easy to see why women of all races would have white guys as a second preference.

This is wrong.  If your argument was, in fact, valid, you would see the converse occurring here in Korea.  But you don't.  IF what you say is true, white females, black females, and women of all races other than Asian here in Korea would view Korean guys as the 2nd best option, since Koreans are the majority group in Korea.  After all, white guys are the "norm" in America and Korean guys are the "norm" in Korea.  This would mean an equal ratio of Korean guy/White female pairings in Korea as Asian girl/White guy pairings in America, since the two scenarios are identical.  Yet reality is the exact opposite of what your argument would predict: there is, in fact, a much larger percentage of Asian girl/White guy pairings in Korea than there are Korean guy/White girl pairings, despite the fact that "Korean guys" are the norm here.

What accounts for this difference?  Media.  Media influence that you are minimizing, for whatever reason (probably because American media conglomerates are *gasp* controlled by whites, not Asians).  Perception is reality for a lot of people (look at the stuff said about Asian guys - you included - in this thread) and in Korea, the influence of American media is undeniable.  (Imagine a scenario in which absolutely no Hollywood movies were shown in Korea, along with no American TV shows, etc.  Do you think Korean girls would be so goo-goo gaa-gaa for white males in this scenario?) And there aren't any Asian male sex symbols in American movies.

 

There are plenty of movies in Korea, however, that reinforce positive stereotypes about white men, while there are no movies in America that reinforce positive stereotypes about Asian males.

 

Do you really naively believe that media influence has nothing to do with this large disparity in WGWAG vs AGWWG relationships?  Yeah, right.

It has everything to do with it.

[Guest koreanballads]

Lie said: "There are plenty of movies in Korea that reinforce positive stereotypes about white men, while there are no movies in America that reinforce positive stereotypes about Asian males."

^I'll take your word for it, I have no doubt that you've seen more Asian cinema than I have. Though, I've seen a lot of Korean films, a lot of Hong Kong films, a lot of Japanese films, even quite a few Vietnamese and Thai films, and I rarely see white men or women in them. Even in the rare occurences that they are, typically they fit into the "brutish white male" stereotype (i.e. white male trying to impose his colonial will on the majestic, more humane Asian). If they're not that, they're fodder in Asian martial arts films getting the crap kicked out of them by an Asian male lead.

[Guest koreanballads]

Lie said: Fearless (Hong Kong based film starring Jet Li as triumphant martial arts legend who beats the living daylights out of, among others, a brutish white guy) and Samurai Champloo (features whites as bumbling, greedy, brutish) are two that occur to me immediately. The "white devil" stereotype actually isn't that uncommon in a lot of Asian literature, as well.

[Guest koreanballads]

Lie said: Do you consider Bruce Lee or Jet Li (i.e. martial arts hero) to be part of a negative stereotype?

I consider any portrayal of Asian males as somehow sexually undesirable or otherwise unable to attract women as perpetuating a negative stereotype.  But ANY racial stereotype of any racial group, positive, negative, or neutral, shouldn't be perpetuated because no racial stereotype is true. Positive stereotypes are just as bad as negative ones, friendo.  Hollywood still portrays Asian males as Kung-Fu fighters.  Ever been to Korea?  There's way more roles for Asian guys than "Kung fu fighter".  Gee I wonder why Hollywood still perpetuates Asian stereotypes, but Korea doesn't.  Oh wait, only one is controlled by white guys! Hilarious that you mention Jet Li though.  Did you know that originally there was a kiss scene where he was supposed to kiss Aaliyah in Romeo Must Die and then it was removed later?  That's how strong the anti-Asian male machine is in Hollywood.

Thanks again for admitting that I am right about the disparate impact media has on interracial dating and how this explains the high ratio of Asian female/white male pairings to white female/Asian male pairings.  And I'm glad you no longer falsely accuse me of being racist. I'm not sure where you got "smug" from (but hey, being a smug Asian is better than being a beta meek Asian, right? ). You really like resorting to the ad-hominems, don't you?  Please don't let your emotions w/r/t my "smugness" or "tone" affect your judgement as to whether or not what I say is true.  Because, to me, that's B-grade logic.

[mintcracker]

Kerriganton said:

mintcracker

said: He was whitewashed because he acted more like the stereotypical white guy than the stereotypical korean. Hence "white washed"

White washed doesn't mean you're ashamed of your culture and can't speak the language, it simply means you think differently, have a different sense of humour (fobs tend to take things more seriously and aren't' as laid back and jokey) and generally are 'westernised.'

I don't see how it's derogatory? How is it offensive?

[Guest Kerriganton]

mintcracker

said:

Kerriganton

said:

[Guest chloe_addict]

Going back to the OP's first post, in an ideal world, love should be blind. It shouldn't matter what one's race is. Instead, it should be the attraction and mutual respect for each other. But stereotypes will always persist about the "Asian fetish" or "infatuation" with the white guy, usually because of that person's projection of his/her own insecurities. If a white guy or Asian girl goes on a dating site, looking specifically for an Asian girl or white guy respectively, then perhaps this attitude is a bit questionable. Or if a white guy wants to go to Asian countries to teach English with the sole intention of picking up Asian chicks, then that is questionable too. But if there are 2 people in a relationship who happen to be a white guy and an Asian girl, having met within the same working or social environment, then I don't see a negative stigma with that. Most of my colleagues in my professional environment are Caucasian males so it makes it hard to meet an Asian guy unless you ask your family members to set you up with a friend of a friend of a friend's son. And you know how that goes  

[Guest jonn1430277759]

It's been around a week since I've check this thread out, and this topic is still stupid..

But! I guess I should add my two cents in as well with this whole debacle.

I haven't read any of koreanballads' other posts, mainly because I am not about to read an essays worth of arguments, but I did read the posts on this page at least, and I agree with him, at least with the few posts I've read.

Coming from an Asian male living in a predominately white town in the US, it really is easy to see that Asian males are either non-existent in American media (when I say media I guess I mean Hollywood/the entertainment world/popular culture) or portrayed as the stereotypical Asian guy. As in nerdy and hates having fun, silent/dismissive and hates having fun, or the goofy fob who can barely speak English etc. And this really does effect a lot of viewers' opinion on the matter, making it harder for a lot of Asian guys to be seen as attractive to a lot of girls. But that doesn't mean Asian guys should sit back and let it happen..

I mean look at a lot of YouTubers today, and yes I know youtube is really small compared to Hollywood films, but looking at guys like TimothyDeLaGhetto and Dumbfounded, musicians/entertainers who are really stripping away those stereotypes we have today is a really nice change of pace. Tim in his vlogs show a host of fans from all different ethnicities as well as girlfriends that aren't all Asian girls. You can really start to see a surge of Asian male personalities becoming more popular to a wider array of audiences, KPOP for example has a huge fanbase all over the world. And look at the show "The Walking Dead", Steven Yeun is a total badass in that show and even gets the cute farm girl, so there's definitely some things that are changing. But it's not like all of a sudden they'll be popular with everybody or that Hollywood will all of a sudden male it all equal, but in time I'm sure it'll happen.

But coming from my own experience, my opinion on why Asian guys aren't as popular is because Asian kids, boys and girls, always tend to stick together.. I don't know whether this is because of their upbringing or cultural issues, but you can definitely see why Asian guys at least are shunned in terms of popularity. They almost always stay within that circle, the girls at least move out and talk to other groups or will be flirted on by other guys, but the guys will stick with each other and the girls they're familiar with. Whether its a confidence or insecurity issue, I don't know, but the fact that Asian guys are already unpopular with most girls outside of Asians doesn't help.

I on the other hand moved into town when there was like no Asian folk haha. So naturally all my friends were white/black/hispanic before and thus all the girls I first flirted/dated with were too. I still appreciated my culture and spoke my language, but at the same time I could appreciate others, as in I could still hang out with the white kids, black kids, Hispanic kids, as well as the Asian kids when they started to come through. I don't consider myself whitewashed either, rather I didn't want to set myself up to where I wouldn't want to go outside my comfort zone just because someone was different than me. Because when it comes to girls and dating, you'll have to at least try to experience new things.

I guess what I'm getting at is go on and date whoever you like, whatever their background is because it doesn't really matter in the end.. But as for a lot of Asian guys, you really need to step outside of your comfort zone, cause its not like we're set up top some high pedestal here in the States, you really have to step your game up to get rid of the stereotypes we have today.

Edit: Cripes this is long, didn't mean for it to be like that.. Ahah.

[Broseph]

Yah, I agree this is a dumb topic but it is not an invalid one.  I think it's great that asian girls go out with white guys.  I also know lots of white girls who go out with asian guys.  It's not a big deal either way.  It's about the personalities and the likes and dislikes, not the race.  
The differences in media portrayals of race is slowly changing.  We have the rebooted Hawaii Five-Oh which shows Grace Park and Daniel Dae Kim kicking butt alongside white and black colleagues.  I think that's pretty cool.  There's also Byung Hun Lee in GI Joe movie.  And Glee showcases a couple asians too.  WongFu productions is also cool.  I think it is a gathering storm of positive asian portrayals in American media.
One of the odd stereotypes that I bump into often is the idea that asians are good at everything.  That asians are so talented, hard-working keeners.  Of course, there are a lot of intelligent, hardworking asians, but there are also a lot of dumb ones.  So I find this a really weird stereotype.  It's like saying all Jewish-Americans are smart and good with money.  

[mintcracker]

I guess I should have said stereotypical jock. Difference between a lot of White guys and Asians are Asians are less likely to be spontaneous, they're generally more uptight. You say 'I dare you to go jump into the ocean right now naked' a lot of Asian guys would refuse because it's 'too cold' or because 'that's crazy' or 'someone might see them' but a lot of Caucasion guys would be like ' Suree I'll do it if you makeout with me after' or 'I'll only do it if you jump in with me/buy me dinner' etc.' Take note, the scenario is at night, and you're alone at the beach haha.
Sure it depends on the person, but international students do act differently from a lot of the Asian guys who were born/grew up overseas. I have dated a couple of relatively Fob guys and even though one of them was really outgoing and had charisma, they both used to take jokes seriously and wasn't as carefree and sarcastic as some other guys who grew up over here. 
Now of course I'm not saying every international guy who grew up in Asia isn't fun loving, but I'm just saying on average they are more composed and conservative? They are just different.
Kerriganton said:

mintcracker

said:

Kerriganton

said:

mintcracker

said: He was whitewashed because he acted more like the stereotypical white guy than the stereotypical korean. Hence "white washed"

White washed doesn't mean you're ashamed of your culture and can't speak the language, it simply means you think differently, have a different sense of humour (fobs tend to take things more seriously and aren't' as laid back and jokey) and generally are 'westernised.'

I don't see how it's derogatory? How is it offensive?

[Guest koreanballads]

mintcracker

wrote:

»

Difference between a lot of White guys and Asians are Asians are less likely to be spontaneous, they're generally more uptight. You say 'I dare you to go jump into the ocean right now naked' a lot of Asian guys would refuse because it's 'too cold' or because 'that's crazy' or 'someone might see them' but a lot of Caucasion guys would be like ' Suree I'll do it if you makeout with me after' or 'I'll only do it if you jump in with me/buy me dinner' etc.' Take note, the scenario is at night, and you're alone at the beach

haha.

Difference between a lot of white guys and Asians are white guys are more likely to be Asian fetishists, they're generally more obsessed with Asian girls.  You say, "Do you only date Asian girls and believe Asian guys are insecure, short, and unattractive, which is why Asian girls should be dating white guys, not Asian guys?  A lot of white guys would b e like, "Of course, everyone knows Asian guys are insecure and short."  Take note, the scenario is at an expat bar filled with tons of Asian fetishists. Haha.

Difference between a lot of black guys and white guys are black guys are more likely to be violent, they're more likely to commit violent crimes. You say, "Yo homie, yo wanna go mug that woman, rape her, then steal her purse? A lot of black guys would be like, "Sure, I always keep it real.  Let's go gangbangin, homie."  Take note, the scenario is in an urban ghetto late at night.  Haha.

Do you see how ridiculous my above statements sound? Guess what?  What you said is just as stupid.  What you did was make racist generalizations, "Asians are less likely to be spontaneous. Asians are generally more uptight."  Did you cite a scientific study that examined a statistically valid sample of 4+ billion Asian people in order to make your claim that they are not spontaneous and that they are uptight?  No, you didn't.  You merely asserted things without any valid evidence.  Do you see any anthropology or psychology journals making any such claims about Asian people?  Or claims that white guys are Asian fetishists?  Or claims that black guys are violent?  No, you don't.  Because race has no correlation to personality traits, contrary to your wrongful assertions.  There has been no study comparing spontaneity in whites vs Asians.  You are making this claim from a tiny, tiny sample of Asian guys that you have encountered.  Do you really honestly think that similar numbers of uptight white guys who aren't spontaneous don't exist?  Somehow Asians have a monopoly on uptighted-ness?  Just like white guys have a monopoly on Asian fetishism?  Just like black guys have a monopoly on violence?  After all, my sample sizes are just as big as your sample sizes so my claims are equally as valid as yours.  I swear, some of the stuff I read on Soompi is so insane I can't believe some people actually believe what they say.

Sure it depends on the person, but international students do act differently from a lot of the Asian guys who were born/grew up overseas. I have dated a couple of relatively Fob guys and even though one of them was really outgoing and had charisma, they both used to take jokes seriously and wasn't as carefree and sarcastic as some other guys who grew up over here. Now of course I'm not saying every international guy who grew up in Asia isn't fun loving, but I'm just saying on average they are more composed and conservative? They are just different.

You say, "A lot of FOB guys act differently from Asian-Americans".  Then you draw on a sample size of 2 FOB guys in order to make the claim that ON AVERAGE, FOB guys aren't fun loving.  They are also more composed and conservative.  So you are making a blanket claim about tens of thousands of FOB Asian guys based on your 2 experiences.  I had a couple FOB guys in my crew back in my college days and they were crazy mofos.  So, on average, FOB guys are crazy mofos.  Now of course I'm not saying every FOB is a crazy mofo, but I'm just saying on average they are wild and party like no tomorrow.  Do you see what's wrong here?  I'm taking a couple of FOBS from my crew to make statistical claims about a huge group of people.  But I would be wrong to say that, just as you are wrong to generalize that FOB guys are ____, ____, and ____.

 

Beginning to see the bigger picture here?

I am also confused as what is acting like a "stereotypical white person". There are tons of Caucasian countries with different varieties of cultures, customs, languages, and traditions.  What does the term "White-Washed" really signify?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  This is a real doozy. Just before you said this, you stereotyped Asian people, "Asians are more uptight".  Then you stereotyped FOB Asian people, "FOBS are conservative.  But SOMEHOW you don't stereotype white people.  Or black people.  Or any non-Asian people.  You simultaneously assert that there is no such thing as a stereotypical white person but THERE IS, IN FACT, a stereotypical Asian person, and a stereotypical FOB Asian person.  In simpler terms, Asian stereotypes are true, but white stereotypes are definitely not true.  This is truly amazing, since I have been talking about how quick people are to judge and stereotype minorities - Asian guys included - in America and this is still going on even in this very thread! And of course you are an Asian girl generalizing about Asians and FOB Asian guys.    And of course, I must point out here that white girls in Korea never go around making racist generalizations about white people and white guys.  But apparently some Asian girls in America still do, thanks for being a great example of one btw.  I mean really, it's only white people with tons of white countries with different varieties of cultures, customs, languages, and traditions.  There is no such thing as Asians with tons of Asian countries with different varieties of cultures, customs, languages, and traditions despite the fact that there are actually more Asians than whites alive in the world today?  And equal varieties of cultures, customs, languages, and traditions?  And I guess tons of black countries don't have different varieties of cultures, customs, languages, and traditions?  Or they do, and it's only Asians who are a monolithic group?  It's so, so sad seeing how internalized racial stereotypes are in some people.