Why is it so hard for me to get a boyfriend? :/

[Guest happybubble]

Not because everyone else is having a boyfriend, you should look for one. He will eventually come your way. 

[Guest Shellymelly]

From what I can tell, it's not that you can't get a boyfriend. You can't keep a boyfriend. Losing interest often is very common. It's not okay, but common. And, it's an issue more so heard with guys, but girls are known to have problems like these as well.

You get easily caught up in the chase. You have no problem finding a guy attractive and getting through that initial stage of socializing, talking, hanging out, flirting, etc. But, once you start dating them, within a few weeks or so, you either get bored or find someone else you're into. Rinse, lather, repeat. Most guys stuck in this routine don't see it as an issue and are pegged as womanizers even though it's not entirely their fault they become bored. You, on the other hand, seem genuinely upset that you're in this routine and would like to be able to commit for something more long term.

Unfortunately, there's no easy solution. You get bored of guys easily. For whatever reason, whether it was the influences in your life growing up or your genetic make up, you can't commit. It's common. Many people love the chase, but only the chase. Once they've got them locked in a relationship and the chase is gone, their flame disappears as well along with their appeal. No one here can tell you how to become genuinely interested in a guy. All you can do, I suppose, is one of two things. For one, I suppose you can simply hope you find that special guy that sweeps you off your feet for real and you just happen to not lose interest. But, the chances of that are pretty slim so the most I can do is advise you to try seeing relationships as more of a commitment rather than a fairytale. Because, let's face it - If your relationship was perfect and the guy was perfect, you wouldn't really be committing, would you? There's no effort in it at all if everything was perfect. And, when you date someone, it doesn't prevent the rest of the population from being attractive. When you're in a relationship, you will most likely meet someone else you deem attractive and sweet and caring. But, you can't be swooned by them and just hop around. You need to commit.

But, I get what you're saying. I use to have this chase problem as well. I'd be all into someone, but once I have them in the bag and I no longer have to work for it, I move on to someone else.

[KeHAEa]

If you really like a guy then you should try to get close to see if you like his personality.However, you shouldn't force yourself into finding a boyfriend... otherwise you may choose a guy you don't really like.It just happens, so be patient.

[zantac_2]

^being with someone that you really like and is compatible will depend on your judgement. meeting one doesnt just happen out of the blue. if you want a boyfriend, then youll have to put in the effort to make that happen. otherwise you are pretty much playing lottery.

[Guest JaruJaru]

You sound desperate for a boyfriend right now, I feel that if you're not comfortable with yourself in your current state, how are you going to be with a partner? Check yourself first, also don't try to force having a relationship ever, it never works out. If you're sitting somewhere wondering why no one is asking you to be their girlfriend try taking initiative yourself. If you want something done, you do it yourself. Also try thinking of reasons why people wouldn't be interested in you.

[Guest Mentor]

  What  does what the other girls have, have to do with you?   If you go through life comparing yourself to others you're sure to find disappointment. There's nothing saying that you have to or will connect with someone sooner or later. There is no timetable for it. If we had insight into the future  then we'd probably make a killing in the stock market.  It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. It just means you are a much more specific type to pair up with. You'll know when it happens but you can't rush it. 

[Guest ttrin]

You are still immature.

[Guest rickertv2]

To the OP. Why don't you just assess yourself on why you can't get a boyfriend? Perhaps what you're really asking us is "Why is it so hard for me to get a super hot boyfriend?"

[Voegele]

I think she's set with the input, guys. In case some of you missed her last post here.

[Guest ReplayMVP]

Trust me, the minute you stop waiting is the minute they start coming.
Lesson of life #1.

[Guest olynreyes]

I feel you girl, I feel you T______________T

[Guest u2alej]

The nightn is sad, and I dont like feel sadness. I want to cut the chains forever, since that you let me i live in darkness.

[Guest Tofu_Cloud]

At least you know and admit u jump from one guy to the next cuz u are bored.

Dont focus on boys. You wouldnt be lonely if you had a group of girl friends. Just focus on school since you are 19.  Dont think about guys right now.

[Guest amerestranger]

You are still immature.

[Guest kelliecube]

You could always pay a guy to be your boyfriend.

[Guest sheLLiJiElUn]

Everyone moves at different speeds in their love life. You are still very young and have a great deal of time to find that special someone. Don't focus your mind on what you do not have.Rather than trying to force a relationship, you should just enjoy life, focus on many of the other things that life has to offer, and also concentrate on your studies. Continue meeting new people, but don't place so much weight on mulling over whether or not a relationship will blossom or why one hasn't developed yet. If it happens, then it happens. If it doesn't, then that is perfectly fine. Your life will go on and more chances will emerge along the way until the right person shows up. Don't place your life on hold and revolve around the idea of being with someone. Learn how to be happy by yourself and depend on yourself because when you do enter a relationship, you need to understand that a relationship does not define your happiness. It does not define who you are as a person and it is not a required goal you need to achieve as you grow older as a way to demonstrate maturity. Good luck and feel better~ <3

[Guest knockblock]

This is probably going to be an answer you don't want but I'll say it.


You need to work on yourself more.

[Guest Dangitzwayne]

just have fun and do your own things, just cause you see other girls that have a bf, doesn't mean you need one as well. A right guy will come to you, or you can try taking the initiative and ask the guy yourself. Nothing wrong with that c:

[Guest rachilde]

Haha.  The fact that you think not having a boyfriend at 19 is some kind of indicator that you'll die a lonely old maid reveals how immature you are.  I didn't have a boyfriend at 19, and I had the time of my life traveling the world and being crazy and partying and just having a great time.  In fact, I would have probably resented my boyfriend terribly if I had had one at 19.  I mean, really, going to punk shows & staying up all night around a bonfire with friends & partying in Tokyo with my cousin is better than cuddling with a boyfriend and watching The Notebook any day of the week.
Not to mention, desperately wanting a boyfriend is not a good look on young girls--or, for that matter, any woman.  First of all, women who are desperate for a boyfriend end up settling for the craziest men just so they can avoid being alone.  I have seen intelligent and beautiful women pair up with abusive boyfriends just because they're so obsessed with having a boyfriend.  If you can't figure out a way to cope with loneliness on your own, then you're going to do a crap job of coping with loneliness when you're with someone else too.  Second of all, successful and mature men like women who don't live and breathe for love.  I know that clingy women who are obsessed with being in a relationship or marriage are not attractive to smart and mature men because I am constantly surrounded by smart and mature men who tend to bring all their relationship problems to me.  The number one complaint I get is, "she's in such a rush to be in a relationship," or, "she is way too clingy."
And, honestly, if a guy likes his girl clingy then you should watch out--he's probably crazy.
So just chill out.  Enjoy your life.  And know that you're going to look back in 5 years and realize how ridiculously dumb you were at 19--as almost everyone else (including myself) does.  I know that everyone thinks turning 20 is the end of the world because then you won't be a teenager.  But, honestly, your best years are in front of you.  Your teenage years are going to look like crap compared to your 20s.

[zantac_2]

and on the day of your 30th birthday sitting in front of your birthday cake still alone just like when you were 19 years old, the idea of blowing your brains out doesnt seem like a dumb idea anymore.