Being depressed just because the title is cool

[Guest I_play_with_dolls]

Seriously frustrated with a mate of mine.

I have a friend, he's a cool guy and all but he keeps playing the whole, "I'm the saddest man in the world," sort of character. As in he always mopes and rants about how depressing his life is. Blah blah blah, I understand if someone is depressed, I really do since I've been diagnosed with severe depression at one point in my life. However he's just doing this just because, well, he likes the attention. This situation is really ticking my off because it reminds me of when I hit rock bottom however I've always tried hard to fix my situation. He's not putting in any effort on his part, he's not seeking a therapist or even trying to make himself feel better. People are seriously getting fed up about this and I really want to confront him about this because it just ticks me off so much. He keeps talking about killing himself but honestly he's just melodramatic, his situation isn't any much different compared to mine or the average teen.

How can I tell him NICELY that he needs to stop with this whole "I'm depressed you don't understand" charade? I know I sound really rude but trust me, he's just way over dramatic that it's pissing me off. I know it's not intentional but I feel sort of mocked because of this. Is anyone else in my situation, having that one friend that always wants to be known as the "depressed" one?

[pupluvgurl]

You never know if he's seriously depressed or just doing it for attention. Tell him as a friend you strongly recommended him not use the term "depressed" lightly and if he truly believes he is depressed, go seek help immediately because saying it is not going to cure it.

If he throws the "you don't understand" card at you, just tell him who can understand him better than a person who has actually been diagnosed with severe depression?

[Guest HERMIT]

You know, I think given your own experience and background you are in a better position than most to either really help this guy with his problem if it is real or simply call him on his little charade, which you are actually suspecting.  I think the best way to describe a possible approach is to "smother him with kindness".  Since you said you had been diagnosed with severe depression before, I'm presuming that you must have had some sort of (professional) help in the past.  The next time he goes off on some sort of a "woe is me" depressive routine, you can try to turn the tables on him by surreptitiously not making it about him (at least for the moment) and making it about you.  Directly engage him in a serious manner and discuss your experiences with him and discuss anything and everything about the pitfalls in wallowing in self-pity and the tribulations of finding the light at the end of the tunnel.  Be prepared to give him concrete and useful information, like a reference to a psychological/psychiatric professional and other useful tips to find help.  But by far, approach it with an utter and solemn seriousness to the matter and don't be afraid as if you're giving him a sermon.  Basically, help him as best as you can until it hurts.  Granted, I know that maybe some of the subject matter could be of a rather private and personal nature to you, but if you can do this in the presence of a group of other friends "intervention style", then the more impact the better.

So now, here's why I think this might be an effective (maybe foolproof) way for you to go: 

1.  By treating it seriously, then you are certainly helping this fellow as best you can - so long as it is serious.

2.  But, if this is just a ploy on his part to simply garner attention, then give him that really serious attention ten-fold to the point that he'll feel that he's maybe gotten himself in over his head with the whole charade and that he's pulled that sympathy card one too many times.

[Tuffcore]

Well, this is a very common problem for many people out there. People want love and attention is a form of love. People will go get it the best way they know how. Failing is easier than succeeding so people go fail in life and run to their friends for a false sense of security. Playing the victim card offers a sense of reward.

What you need to tell your friend is that people don't want to help him because they love him. People help him because they can't get over themselves if they didn't help a friend. They don't love him when he fails. They are secretly thinking "why can't this loser get his life together?" It is an annoyance more than love. Make him understand that when he succeeds, his friends love him even more than when he fails.

[Guest o________O]

The fact that he mopes around and complains about it to all his friends is fairly evident that he's bs'ing. It just sounds like he's venting.

Last time I felt depressed, the last thing I wanted to do, was let family and friends find out about it. They never did.

[Guest I_play_with_dolls]

You know, I think given your own experience and background you are in a better position than most to either really help this guy with his problem if it is real or simply call him on his little charade, which you are actually suspecting.  I think the best way to describe a possible approach is to "smother him with kindness".  Since you said you had been diagnosed with severe depression before, I'm presuming that you must have had some sort of (professional) help in the past.  The next time he goes off on some sort of a "woe is me" depressive routine, you can try to turn the tables on him by surreptitiously not making it about him (at least for the moment) and making it about you.  Directly engage him in a serious manner and discuss your experiences with him and discuss anything and everything about the pitfalls in wallowing in self-pity and the tribulations of finding the light at the end of the tunnel.  Be prepared to give him concrete and useful information, like a reference to a psychological/psychiatric professional and other useful tips to find help.  But by far, approach it with an utter and solemn seriousness to the matter and don't be afraid as if you're giving him a sermon.  Basically, help him as best as you can until it hurts.  Granted, I know that maybe some of the subject matter could be of a rather private and personal nature to you, but if you can do this in the presence of a group of other friends "intervention style", then the more impact the better.

So now, here's why I think this might be an effective (maybe foolproof) way for you to go: 

1.  By treating it seriously, then you are certainly helping this fellow as best you can - so long as it is serious.

2.  But, if this is just a ploy on his part to simply garner attention, then give him that really serious attention ten-fold to the point that he'll feel that he's maybe gotten himself in over his head with the whole charade and that maybe he'll have to consider pulling that sympathy card one too many times.

I'm actually willing to try this, I just have to gather people up that aren't scared to confront him about this. Appreciate the advice.