L&R DEBATE: Growing to love someone vs. Falling at first sight

[Guest mintpops]

^ LOL your story references are all so depressing!
I don't really believe in love at first sight. It sounds appealing, but I feel like anyone who thinks they fell in love at first sight really just fell in lust at first sight. You can't truly claim to love someone unless you know more about them. Even if there is such think as love at first sight, that intense romance cools down eventually, so I'd prefer a relationship where you learn to love the other.

[Guest babyyheavennn]

honestly, I think I say growing to love someone because you get to know their pros and cons and if you'll get to decide whether to accept them and love them for who they are or not rather than falling in love at first sight cuz you even find out about their cons. In my opinion, the faster a love starts, the faster it ends. The end. At least from my experience. And from romeo and juliet; "These violent delights have violent ends ".

[Guest avashuck]

In my opinion I'd say growing o love someone  yes I'm a total hopeless romantic when it comes to love but for some reason I just don't believe in love at first sight. I mean how can you truly kow if you love someone by meeting and seeing the person for the first time, so I believe its better to get t know the person first before even saying you love them

I think its beter to wait and get to know if you truly love the person before I think this has something to do with my current  situation me and guy I like are ttaking things slow being friends and getting to know each other first

[Guest iilysium]

Love at first sight
Translation: He/she just wants to f*k you

How can you love someone you don't know anything about, or don't know if you're compatible with, or whatever.
I laughed the first time the guy I dated told me that. We didn't last for 3 months. Incompatible. That can't be love, for either of us.

[Guest wutermelon]

Growing to love = True love. People who usually will treat you right, husband,wifey, whatever you call it material. Someone who stood by you.
(Does not always work out but most of the times it will)
Love at first sight = Your typical sluts/hoes/manwhores (Could end up being one sided, cheated on, and possibly a drug addict) In my personal experience it will NEVER work out. Love at first sight is basically liking someone for just their looks.

How do you love someone you've just met?

Love at first sight is retarded.

Thats my summary. Now I hav'nt read all your paragraphs but I'd doubt anything can change the fact that love at first sight is richard simmons.

[mintcracker]

Love at first sight does not exist. You can't love sb you don't know, and to truly know them takes a long time. Love is what happens when you grow together and dig deeper.

[sweet_sweet]

love at first sight is bs...it's just initial attraction growing to love someone is the way to go 

[Guest crackers&cheese]

Love at first sight draws the person in (Temporary). But growing to love someone where you constantly want to spend every moment together, do everything together, and care and think about each other is genuine love (Permanent)

[Guest hiswendy]

I think that although time spent together factors in the growth of a relationship, being together longer does not necessarily dictate the depth of a couple's love. I believe that there must be an initial attraction, but not just a physical one. It can be a meeting of the minds; shared values; similar sense of humour. For instance, my ex -- he presented his favorite book, "Shake Hands with the Devil: The Failure of Humanity in Rwanda" in class and I was immediately intrigued. To me, that book signalled an acute awareness of humanity and genuine care for the state of the world. I didn't fall for him then and there, but I knew I wanted to be a part of his world, to converse with him on these issues, to hear him vent.
These moments, these sparks would've meant next to nothing, however, if nothing progressed from these initial impressions. 
I think growing in love as oppose to growing to love someone is the way to go, because I oppose the idea of being with someone with the mindset that maybe you'll fall in love with that person later. I entered my relationship thinking, "I can't wait to fall in love with you" because I knew I would. (And I did.)
You reveal yourself to the other person, and hopefully s/he will do the same. Only upon baring yourselves to each other can you truly say that you can love that person. If you're a character in a movie, baring your soul can take as short as the one/first day of your meeting. In real life, with all the walls surrounding each of us -- because that's just the way the real world is--, it probably takes longer.

[Guest catcoffee]

I've always thought love at first sight was completely reasonable and would definitely possibly happen to me but at this point in my life I'm starting to think less and less of love at first sight
Growing to love someone just makes so much more sense doesn't it?

[Guest SoulAce2]

I'm a firm believer that given the time and commitment and perseverance, you can grow and even learn to love someone.  My parents have taught me that.  Their relationship was not built on love, but rather on acceptance, respect, and friendship...which only then later grew into love.  It's a love that grows as both overcomes differences and tribulations together.  Within the last 20 or so years together, I have never seen them so affectionate to one another as they are now.  And their love continues to prosper each day...

[EDIT] As for love at first sight, it never happened to me nor anyone I know.  So, yeah...

[Guest catcoffee]

I was rethinking this just now..Is this referring to love at first sight in general or,love at first sight of who a person really is? 

[Guest Starlitelet]

To me, love at first sight means that there's an initial instant connection (and I don't mean in terms of looks only). That spark and instant connection that both parties feel at that very moment should develop into something much deeper after knowing each other. It's the feeling that you guys have known each other already, so you guys instantly click. However, this click should potentially grow, instead of dwindling down. If it dwindles down then that's just infatuation at first sight. Both of you guys also realize that you guys have a similar point of view even without knowing each other beforehand. That to me is love at first sight. It's the fact that two people who knew nothing about each other get this instant connection, and realize that they have many similarities together. By similarities I don't just mean common interest.
I strongly believe that there needs to be some sort of physical attraction too. I don't think I can change my mind about my attraction for a person unless they change over time. It's either  there or it's not there. If however, I end up falling for let's say my best friend, then he must have done something out of the ordinary to catch that side of my attention. So all in all, the attraction should be there from the very beginning.

So in my opinion, I do believe in love at first sight. It's rare though.

[Guest ling_ling]

"Love at first sight" in a literal sense, I do not believe in and have never believed in. I have believed you can have "lust at first sight", when you see someone and you feel all tingly and want to jump on them, but that isn't really love. This has happened to be before a few times where I have seen guys who are attractive and yes, I have lusted over them but they never lead to anything more except a physical relationship.

I believe in growing in love with someone is the winner though. That is how it is with my fiance now. When we first met, there was an attraction but to be honest it wasn't like "Wow, fireworks". I thought he was good looking and we had good conversation. But I took a chance on him and the more time I spent with him the more, the more I found out about him, the more I felt comfortable and secure and could trust him.

I mean, I have experienced what the above poster has described, which is love or a connection at first meeting. I have been on a first date with someone which was quite magical and it did start quite quickly, but again, as people have mentioned, the quicker it rises the quicker it will fall. Which is what happened and I think what happens for a lot of people whose relationship start of quite intense in the beginning. The wil always want to mimic that throughout the relationship as it goes along which is why when it dies down it usually doesnt last. Like a fire.

[Guest Sorahakone]

I'd prefer growing to love someone or for someone to grow to love me...but so far most of the guys i've liked, liked not loved, was "love at first sight"

[Guest rickertv2]

I believe in growing to love someone. How can someone love another person without knowing him/her? But the caveat here is that (in my case):
1) The girl isn't detestably ugly.
2) The girl isn't a total wacko or richard simmons.