BF/GF hanging out with the opposite sex on their own?

[MrPower]

If I am in a relationship with someone, I tend to trust them than more than communicate my thoughts and feelings.

Ultimately, any successful relationship will have to involve a great deal of trust.

If I get burned, then whatever. Sure it hurts, but it just means that she wasn't for me.

[Guest bishie]

I think it depends on the context and the boy/girl. If you are studying together or just having lunch I think that's fine. I even had dinner with one girl maybe 20 times without any real issues (although we talked a little about relationships but we had a strictly platonic relationship). However I've definitely been in situations where I am on what feels like dates with girls who are in relationships. One of my classmates was like I'm going to a meetup group and I don't want to go alone. So we go to the spot together and she is like I don't feel comfortable here why don't we get food. So we grab dinner then she is like why don't we see a movie? That felt unquestionably like a date.

A different girl acts super flirtatious. So I have to reject her for going out to eat because she will try to feed me from her plate and use her bedroom voice. I asked her what her husband thinks of her behavior. She was like ohh he's happy he doesn't have to deal with me for a bit. I'm fine giving my girl friend freedom and allowing her to have a life but there clearly is some line on behavior.

[Guest Me2]

I don't mind if it's occasionally, and the girl knows he's taken. He's allowed to have friends who are girls, and I'm allowed to have friends who are guys.

[Guest cinnamoroll]

I'm not their parents or anyone to tell my s/o what to do. I don't control him.

As for my feelings if he goes out with a girl 1 on 1, it depends on who the person is. My s/o has plenty of girl friends, and they were girls that were/are interested in him. I don't mind if he spends 1 on 1 time with them because I know him, and I trust him. And most of the time, I know who the girl/girls are. And I don't mind at all.

If he went on a 1 on 1 with a complete stranger and was completely shady about it, I don't think I'd be happy about it, but I trust him. And I don't worry about him, but I do wonder what she looks like/who she is.

BUT I would absolutely detest if he hung out 1 on 1 with this one nasty...girl. She's been horrible to me and her ex-boyfriends and ex-fiance, and she's after my s/o, and that would be the only person that I would try to stop him from hanging out with 1 on 1, but he wouldn't want to either. But I know her, and she is cunning and conniving and would lie to meet up with him and "other friends" who will suddenly not be going. She's asked to sleep over at his house right in front of me, and with her reputation, gross.

[Guest Tae.Yuu]

I'd put on the "I don't care act", and be a good little girl.

But of course I'd be worried or jealous, that's just being human. XD

Plus, it's not like a human can trust someone 100%, there's always that fear that bites at them even if you put on an act.

That's my thought at least.

[NoobCakez]

Like most of you, I would feel uncomfortable about it, however I would never TELL my bf who he can or can't hang out with.

Maybe I would bring it up casually but I wouldn't TELL him to not hang out with other girls.

[Ninshark]

I would, I'm not much of a controlling person, maybe people think I don't actually care, but I value freedom. I don't think getting into a relationship should change how we spend time with other people. besides I trust her, if she ends up doing crazy stuff with some other guy, she probably never liked me anyway. I won't impress anything on them.

[Guest teresaa-]

I myself hang out with friends of the opposite sex, just because it's always a pain to ask the other girls what they want to do and the things that I usually want to do aren't the things that the girls like, for example swimming, cause either one, they're having their lady time or two, they just can't be stuffed, or most commonly three, they can't swim or they just don't want to go swimming and think they're fat.

As of this year, I just stopped trying to ask them out because I feel like we've drifted apart since we already go to different schools so I only get my two best guy friends and get together for a studying session and just go out to fun places. Not only is it more fun with a small group but I feel like I can talk to them about anything that's been bothering me and I don't have to worry much about them, since they 'keep their feelings under tight control'.

As for my future bf, I have quite a mean jealous streak about girls hanging out with guys that I tend to crush on/who I go out with... but! Like everyone has said, it's not my place to tell him who to hang out with and who not to hang out with because they might actually have a lot of friends who are girls, it's just that the trust needs to be the strongest.

I wouldn't like it if my future bf told me I can't hang out with my guy friends, so really... there just needs to be trust and basically they must know each other/be introduced.. and vice-versa, I want to know who he hangs out with and be introduced as his gf.

[Guest swtaznangel]

I wouldn't feel uncomfortable. If I didn't trust him enough to be around other girls, I wouldn't be in the relationship in the first place, no matter how much I like him. I say this because I would want him to feel comfortable that I hang out with other guys on my own (most of my closer friends are guys). But that's just me, I can't deal with guys that are going to get all jealous and whatnot over hanging out with my close friends, especially when I don't go out with them enough in the first place, so....

[Guest Karaamel]

It's not that I mind, it's who he decides to hang out with one on one

There are several times where these girls thought that it was ok to just randomly ask MY boyfriend to go shopping alone with them one on one....

he even emphasized, IM WITH MY GIRLFRIEND....and she was like, if it's a problem i just wont ask anymore....

there are girls i allow him to hang out with, girls i noe he's very close with and that i noe of

but wen it comes to those girls who supposedly think they're more important to him than his own girlfriend of over a year, then that's a problem.

[Guest Fisheyy]

I'm the jealous type however I am not the crazy jealous girlfriend. I would feel a bit jealous depending on who the girl is and what they are doing but I would never ever control and forbid my boyfriend from hanging out with people. If you're in a relationship with someone, you should be able to trust them completely. That's the whole structure of a relationship. Trust and communication. If you feel uncomfortable, tell them. He should be able to understand. But if you aren't able to trust him in the first place, you should re-think about your relationship.

[Guest OneChance]

Yea, for your relationship to work I think you definitely have to let your gf/bf see friends of the opposite sex. I dont mind if my bf hangs out with other girls as long as he doesn't cheat im ok

[Guest The-Entity]

I'm not going to stop my girlfriend from seeing her own friends, and I don't expect my girlfriend to want me to stop hanging out with my old friends before I met her.

I'd just tell her whenever I'm going to, and what we're doing, and if she has any questions about what we did I'd tell her. Good communication is key!

[Guest bulguksu]

it really depends on if you trust them enough not to cheat. if they do, you probably shouldn't be together.

in fact, if you don't even trust them, why are you together in the first place?

[Guest ParkGhiJoon]

Hmmm, I believe it's called Faith!

Something you cannot prove but you have strong feeling about.

It's real funny though when girls get jealous when a guy hangs out with his friend that's a girl.

XD

[Guest bBy_sT4r]

I actually get jealous pretty easily but it depends on the situation. For my ex, he would ALWAYS be flirting with girls right in front of my face so I'd always feel annoyed/frustrated whenever he hung out with girls one-on-one because he'd always treat it as a date; he'd go pick up the girl to hang out, drive her around, and pay for her food & everything. That is a definite NO..... but if it was just regular hanging out, like the way I do with my guy friends, then I would've been okay with it. I think most of it comes down to how much you trust your bf cus I NEVER trusted mine (he cheated on me 3 times -____-)

[Guest severus]

... "would you let them" ..?

sounds like you got him on a leash, under a whip.

[Guest Miratron.]

The 1-on-1 hang out really depends on the person. However, my boyfriend is seldom interested in hanging out with other girls 1-on-1, so I don't have to worry about it. 

My boyfriend is uncomfortable with me hanging out with a guy one on one, but he also bases his decision on the person. I don't mind, because I'm not quite interested in hanging out with my guy friends alone as I don't feel the need to. If he feels uncomfortable with me hanging out with this guy, I'll respect that. He will also do the same. Basically, it's not a problem for us. 

[Guest h2obubbli]

i respect freedom in a relationship, and i will never say no.. i do get uncomfortable but i am fine if my gf tells me beforehand and maybe what they got up to.

I mean i find this the most strange situation, where my gf has a agreed with this guy (i dont know him) back in secondary school that they will meet once a year, where he will take my gf out to somewhere for the day etc. This year he told her it was a surprise and took my gf to one of london's most famous gardens (WHICH i planned and wanted to go to) but i didnt really say anything, i was abit upset but what can yu do.. til this day she never showed me hardly any pictures what they got up to, i dont even know how he looks like lol.