Sigh.. He forgot about our first date..

[Guest jvu]

Should I give him a second chance?

Resolved, thanks Converter. It was number 2. Thanks so much soompi Now if only my own account would let me post .... ZzzzZzz ..

[mintcracker]

Let this go. Don't bother with him. He cancelled first time, forgot "second" time round. Don't be the chick that bends over backwards k.

[Mannosuke]

His response was that he forgot and had a very important family event to attend. I understood that but what the heck? How do you forget your first date with a girl you claim to like so much.(there's more to it, I'm just making it short).

It would be important to clarify what more there is, cause I didn't think he forgot about the date, but rather the "very important family event"

A man shouldn't ditch his family for a girl.

[Guest bona fide*]

First he "forgets" when the date was actually scheduled for then he "forgets" the date entirely? Okay.

If you do choose to give him a second chance, I wouldn't plan anything more than 10 minutes in advance lest he forgets again.

[Guest converted]

There are two possibilities here, both of which unfortunately reach the same answer. No, he doesn't deserve a second chance.

1) He just stopped being interested and wanted an easy way to stop the date.This is quite possible, as he actually forgot when the date was supposed to be whilst trying to make an excuse not to go. From personal experience, if I've managed to land a date with a girl I'm absolutely infatuated with, I won't even need to write it on my calendar. I'll remember the date, time, location and 'random' conversation starters off by heart due to the massive amount of planning I tend to do beforehand to ensure the near-perfection of the date. Unfortunately for him, you blew that plan of his out of the water by reminding him the date is the next day. He may be too much of a coward to directly tell you he isn't interested anymore.

2) He could be getting cold feet, possibly due to external factors, such as judgment from his friends. This may be due to your rejection of his close friend invoking collective rejection of their social group, and thus disallowing him to date you due to this 'bro code' (which I personally don't follow. If a friend can't support me with my decisions, especially if it's due to selfish reasons, then he is neither my friend nor my 'bro'). It sucks, and I myself have been guilty of it, but the opinion of our friends influences whether we pursue a relationship with a girl or not.

Of course, there's always the chance that he really did have prior plans he conveniently forgot about, however from what you've said, and from what I know how guys operate, this is pretty unlikely. To prevent misunderstandings, try and verify his story by asking a family member you could talk to, or the 'friend' who needed him. Ask anyone who's likely to know the truth, THEN quickly ask him exactly what happened, and then you can verify the truth by seeing if his story matches with the story of the friend or family member.

Now, personally (and note that this is what I do, but I'm fairly certain most guys will be similar), if I really do like you, you'll be top priority although I might not want to show it. I'll discard the bros before hoes cliche and double check reservations, prices, times, transport, etc. instead of helping my friend who needs me, unless it really is something urgent, such as a family member suddenly dying or something. I do everything in my power to get to a date with a girl who I really like, whether I have to pay $50 for a taxi because the buses broke down, or sprint to the date.

Of course, I'm only 17 and in high school, so maybe I still have to outgrow this part of me, but if you were important enough to me, you would definitely know it.

In conclusion, no, he unfortunately doesn't deserve a second chance.

[Guest ZeroX3]

you dont forget about something that important, espically if u like the girl.... met at a bar? never had a girlfriend? i dont believe that for a second, most likely a player. he used the excuse i forogt what a lie. being able to say that with a straight face means hes got alot of experience with being a liar lol. good luck

[Guest jvu]

It would be important to clarify what more there is, cause I didn't think he forgot about the date, but rather the "very important family event"

A man shouldn't ditch his family for a girl.

What I meant by there's more to it, is that we've gone through struggles of liking eachother(his buddy got really mad and flipped out- but he was still siding with doing what he feels is right). Like I said, I understood why he couldn't go. Family is first priority over anything. He said it was his aunts 90/80th banquet. I've been to those, it's all planned almost like a wedding. For him to be family and not remember that he indeed is busy on the day he asked me out on, twice, seems sketchy to me.. But there are many possibilities.. He said he honestly just forgot. :/ now that's what bothers me, his inability to remember any of those things..

There are two possibilities here, both of which unfortunately reach the same answer. No, he doesn't deserve a second chance.

1) He just stopped being interested and wanted an easy way to stop the date.This is quite possible, as he actually forgot when the date was supposed to be whilst trying to make an excuse not to go. From personal experience, if I've managed to land a date with a girl I'm absolutely infatuated with, I won't even need to write it on my calendar. I'll remember the date, time, location and 'random' conversation starters off by heart due to the massive amount of planning I tend to do beforehand to ensure the near-perfection of the date. Unfortunately for him, you blew that plan of his out of the water by reminding him the date is the next day. He may be too much of a coward to directly tell you he isn't interested anymore.

2) He could be getting cold feet, possibly due to external factors, such as judgment from his friends. This may be due to your rejection of his close friend invoking collective rejection of their social group, and thus disallowing him to date you due to this 'bro code' (which I personally don't follow. If a friend can't support me with my decisions, especially if it's due to selfish reasons, then he is neither my friend nor my 'bro'). It sucks, and I myself have been guilty of it, but the opinion of our friends influences whether we pursue a relationship with a girl or not.

Of course, there's always the chance that he really did have prior plans he conveniently forgot about, however from what you've said, and from what I know how guys operate, this is pretty unlikely. To prevent misunderstandings, try and verify his story by asking a family member you could talk to, or the 'friend' who needed him. Ask anyone who's likely to know the truth, THEN quickly ask him exactly what happened, and then you can verify the truth by seeing if his story matches with the story of the friend or family member.

Now, personally (and note that this is what I do, but I'm fairly certain most guys will be similar), if I really do like you, you'll be top priority although I might not want to show it. I'll discard the bros before hoes cliche and double check reservations, prices, times, transport, etc. instead of helping my friend who needs me, unless it really is something urgent, such as a family member suddenly dying or something. I do everything in my power to get to a date with a girl who I really like, whether I have to pay $50 for a taxi because the buses broke down, or sprint to the date.

Of course, I'm only 17 and in high school, so maybe I still have to outgrow this part of me, but if you were important enough to me, you would definitely know it.

In conclusion, no, he unfortunately doesn't deserve a second chance.

You just opened my eyes. He's just a year older than you, yet you seem way more more mature than him. Sigh. He said he wants to make it up to me, I said ill think about it. We're gna have a talk today.. Ah.

So... Are you by any chance single? Hehe jk, thanks so much for your input!

Edit: yeah I wanted to go confirm whether he really was where he claimed to be.. But I didn't want to seem like such a freak lol. I'll just see how everything goes today. >.< Your post has helped me a lot, I meant A LOT. Thanks again.

[Guest jvu]

you dont forget about something that important, espically if u like the girl.... met at a bar? never had a girlfriend? i dont believe that for a second, most likely a player. he used the excuse i forogt what a lie. being able to say that with a straight face means hes got alot of experience with being a liar lol. good luck

Haha he's actually not a player :s we have many mutual friends that know him well/hang out in his group. He's more of the quiet one that takes everything that his buddies throw at him =\ which is why I didn't expect such a.. You know-what lol :(

[Guest converted]

You just opened my eyes. He's just a year older than you, yet you seem way more more mature than him. Sigh. He said he wants to make it up to me, I said ill think about it. We're gna have a talk today.. Ah.

So... Are you by any chance single? Hehe jk, thanks so much for your input!

Edit: yeah I wanted to go confirm whether he really was where he claimed to be.. But I didn't want to seem like such a freak lol. I'll just see how everything goes today. >.< Your post has helped me a lot, I meant A LOT. Thanks again.

Your welcome and no problem at all. I don't blame you for finding it difficult to think rationally whilst you're emotionally compromised. It's almost a biological impossibility to think rationally whilst in an emotional frame of mind, as logical thinking and emotions are completely separate and very distant areas of the brain, although this is getting somewhat technical.

If only the people I knew could see how mature I am....jokes. I tend to act somewhat immaturely at times in an attempt to distract people from my insecurities.

I'm flattered you asked if I was single, hahaha, but there's a girl I'm pursuing right now, and she's confusing the hell out of me. I've thought about her so much that I even drew a sketch of her ><" which may sound creepy and pathetic, but screw it, I'm giving it to her. The tragic part is that we have 2 weeks of school left together until we part ways for university, but this is my dilemma. We're here to sort out yours.

Don't settle for him if there's even a small doubt that he's good enough for you. Every girl deserves better.

Good luck!

[Guest kidfromkorea]

i would say no dont give him another chance, but judging by how much you like him; i think you will.

have fun on your next date ;)

[Guest iPhets]

It doesn't take that much effort to remember when a date is.

Personally, I think that for a girl that he claims to like so much, he's not putting in very much effort. I mean seriously, even if I just had a simple outing with my friends and something important came up, I think I would be able to at least remember I had planned something with them that day and text them that I can't go.

Forget about him, you don't want him to be "forgetting" any more of your dates in the future..

[Guest HERMIT]

I say give him another chance. You've got to.

But this time give him the opportunity to set things right, carefully plan out the date, make the arrangements....do everything to make it up to you.

Then when it's time for the big date.... ...... !!

.....totally blow him off and forget about it yourself

And to top it off, give him a richard simmons poor excuse .... like you found yourself distracted the whole day PMing with some old, fat dude from Soompi. ^_^

[Guest jvu]

Your welcome and no problem at all. I don't blame you for finding it difficult to think rationally whilst you're emotionally compromised. It's almost a biological impossibility to think rationally whilst in an emotional frame of mind, as logical thinking and emotions are completely separate and very distant areas of the brain, although this is getting somewhat technical.

If only the people I knew could see how mature I am....jokes. I tend to act somewhat immaturely at times in an attempt to distract people from my insecurities.

I'm flattered you asked if I was single, hahaha, but there's a girl I'm pursuing right now, and she's confusing the hell out of me. I've thought about her so much that I even drew a sketch of her ><" which may sound creepy and pathetic, but screw it, I'm giving it to her. The tragic part is that we have 2 weeks of school left together until we part ways for university, but this is my dilemma. We're here to sort out yours.

Don't settle for him if there's even a small doubt that he's good enough for you. Every girl deserves better.

Good luck!

Yeah, usually I can figure this stuff out on my own but when im involved it's just a little more difficult to think rationally T_T

Awwwwwwe, you're such a sweetheart ahah! That girl is a lucky one I'm sure she'll love the sketch as long as it's not a stickman figure Honestly, I'm going to uni in two weeks as well, and all my friends in relationships/the chase are struggling because of it.. It's a huge change =|

Thanks and goodluck to you too ~ keep me updated

I say give him another chance. You've got to.

But this time give him the opportunity to set things right, carefully plan out the date, make the arrangements....do everything to make it up to you.

Then when it's time for the big date.... ...... !!

.....totally blow him off and forget about it yourself

And to top it off, give him a richard simmons poor excuse .... like you found yourself distracted the whole day PMing with some old, fat dude from Soompi.

That sounds great actually LOL I'll probably do that tmr! Thanks so much :)

[mintcracker]

I'm all for giving ppl chances, but in this case it IS obvious his actions are showing you what he actually thinks

Do you really want a guy that's so flakey?

=/