Best friend can't get over her ex boyfriend... I really can't take this anymore

[Guest cherrysol]

So yeah, my best friend just ended her relationship with her boyfriend and she is driving me insane.

The story:

He was truly an bubble gum. Why? Because they were dating for about 2 months and then they got into a fight and he said, "I need us to take a break so I can think about our relationship." So she agreed. And he did not contact her for an entire month. At all. And all this time, she was unloading on me every single day, wondering if he was thinking of her, lowering herself and saying it was all her fault, etc. etc. I listened to her and I was sympathetic, even though the entire time I was like.... how are you going to "think" about the relationship for an entire month....? Anyway, finally she called him up a month later and said I really miss you and I'm sorry, etc. And he said me too. So I thought FINALLY this is over.... but it wasn't. He would NEVER call her her or text her, always say I'm busy, and ALWAYS cancel on their dates, and if she said she really wanted to see him, he would say things like, "I don't have money for gas to waste going all the way over to your house. You can come here." So she would do that. If she planned a date with him, he would cancel on her like, "Oh yeah, I can't cause I have to go shopping with my sister" or "I'm going to go golfing with my dad tonight." john teshing bubble gum. But she would STILL CLING TO HIM. During all this time, she is complaining to me about him, while I am trying to convince her to PLEASE DUMP HIM.

So finally after a month of him doing this, she decides that she is finally going to stop trying so hard to meet him. (BTW, all this time, she never actually met up with him except ONCE, and that was her going over to his house.) And she stopped texting or calling him.... and he has never contacted her since.

I know that was long but do you see how FRUSTRATING this is?? He is SUCH AN bubble gum beyond belief, treated her like mini cooper, and she would still be like, "You don't understand... I always told you things from MY side and made him a bad guy but I did some bad things too." But basically, they didn't even formally break up... he just left her hanging.

So it's been about 3 months now, and she is still thinking about him.... and I understand, because the situation is so f-ed up.... but I literally have nothing left to say to her anymore. She is my best friend and I care about her, but we have beaten the horse to death, into soup. We have pondered over why he acts this way, what he might be thinking, gone over every single minute detail in detail, we have thought over the what ifs, and I have told her a million times that only time will heal and that she deserves SO much better than this.... but she is not over him. And I. Can't. Deal. With. It. Anymore.

What do I do as a friend??? Every movie, TV show, song, every conversation is related to him or reminds her of him... I CAN'T STAND IT. I try to change the subject, and it'll be fine, and then she'll call me up at night to cry about how she can't stop thinking of him. I tell her the same things I've been saying for the past FIVE MONTHS.

I'm not unsympathetic... I KNOW how a break up feels, and I know that she must be going through hell... but a person can only take so much!!! I try to spend time away from her, but she Facebooks me really depressing messages that I can't ignore... I don't know what to do anymore. I also know it's a lot worse for her because he was the first person she slept with... but what can I say to that? She says she doesn't regret it but I know she feels a little guilt for losing her virginity when she intended to wait. But.... she doesn't listen to anything I say so I can't help her get out of this.

And yes, we have gone to bars and other places to try to find dates, I have had girls' nights with her, I've tried to lighten up the mood, I've tried deeply psychoanalyzing him.... EVERYTHING!!

I need some advice. Please. You can tell how exasperated I am.

[Guest TheBiiitch]

Girl, if YOU can't even stand her, what makes anyone think that HER BOYFRIEND could?!

This girl has some issues and needs to stop unleashing her misery on others- D@MN!

But, you have to remember that you are her friend and sometimes a friend has "depressed friend" duties.

It's f-cked up, I know but, being a friend is to care about someone you've grown to and cherish.

Pretty much her misery and pain is becoming a huge burden to you because

it's not like you can go and fix things because it ain't even your problem!

Just hang in there, babe but, if it's too much for you- that's when you set sail and move to better islands!

*kisses*

[Guest hippocampus]

^ +1. lol. I love your post and the icon is awesome.

[Guest biforever]

If you truly consider her as your best friend, you will be there for her through thick and thin. Maybe in a few years you will both laugh about it. All you can do right now, is to comfort her. She will appreciate it once she's come out of this.

[Guest Where_how]

Idk if this is a good idea, but maybe you should talk to the ex-bf urself and convince him to explain his actions to her so she can put a closure to it. Or try to understand his side of the story so u can tell ur bff how he feels

[Guest [Deleted User]]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

[Guest sumoberrylu]

i honestly don't think there is anything you can say that will change her mind or make her realize. she has to come to the decision to "move on" herself. she's taking longer to get over him than she even dated him... she's digging her own grave and making things worse for herself.

have you bluntly told her that she's being ridiculous? cause at this point, its no longer his fault. its hers.

[Guest cherrysol]

i honestly don't think there is anything you can say that will change her mind or make her realize. she has to come to the decision to "move on" herself. she's taking longer to get over him than she even dated him... she's digging her own grave and making things worse for herself.

have you bluntly told her that she's being ridiculous? cause at this point, its no longer his fault. its hers.

Yes, I have told her that she is really driving herself crazy for no reason, and he is NOT thinking about her anymore, so she needs to stop wasting her time.... and all she says is "I know, I know, I know." But she still can't stop thinking (or talking) about him. I hate sounding like a bad friend but I can't do anything anymore if she is going to obsess so much about someone she can't have anymore. I keep telling her that a fairy tale is not going to happen and this guy is such a douchebag but all she says is I know, and nothing has changed......

[Guest Scarlet]

ugh i'm going through the EXACT same thing right now, but the opposite. my friend's gf broke up with him and his fb is spammed with depressing statuses and he won't shut up about it. it's been a month and he can NOT get over it. you're just going to have to wait it out even though it sucks =_=

[Guest BaboJen]

I've been through the exact same situation..when my friend and her ex broke up, it was like the end of the world for her. I understand how hard a breakup could be.. but there's a limit, you know? For months, she would just complain about him and how much she loves him and miss him. At first, i was like 'oh, whatever, it won't last that long, she will get over him sooner or later.' But oh boy how was i so wrong.. I tried everything with her to get her out of her depression mood. NOTHING WORKED. One day, i just exploded on her..i was being a total pinkberry to her and told her how i felt. I knew i shouldnt have but what's done is done. After a few days, she called me up and we talked it out and everything went back to normal

[Guest Daylightful]

Girl, if YOU can't even stand her, what makes anyone think that HER BOYFRIEND could?!

This girl has some issues and needs to stop unleashing her misery on others- D@MN!

But, you have to remember that you are her friend and sometimes a friend has "depressed friend" duties.

It's f-cked up, I know but, being a friend is to care about someone you've grown to and cherish.

Pretty much her misery and pain is becoming a huge burden to you because

it's not like you can go and fix things because it ain't even your problem!

Just hang in there, babe but, if it's too much for you- that's when you set sail and move to better islands!

*kisses*

I never find the need to post advice anymore because these posts are always really good!

Either way, I agree with this one. She is your friend so be there for her!

You should also talk to her about how you feel about the situation. It's always good to talk things out instead of letting it build up.